cc >> We have a nice variety
of panelists for you. We
spectrum, we have two siblings have two people on the
grandparent. So we have and ta nice variety heret and
that will hopefully address some of your questions.
We're going to get through
questions that we have here, and probably about 10 to 12
finish, then we'll start taking questions from you in case you
didn't get a chance to turn this in or it's a follow up of
something, and all that I ask is
I'll repeat the question for that you'll ask the question,
watching online, and then twe'll get the answers here.d
Just to give you an idea on the panelists we have, and your
program has complete
these people, but a Brad Wing is biographical information for
graduated Verona High a studSchool last year.llege,
He's representing someone on the spectrum.
We have Taylor Weber. She's representing a sibling
perspective. She has two
home, and she is away from home so it kind of gives you that
idea. We have Brian Pagel who is a
parent of those two boys. So
on that, and each son is on a different end of the spectrum.
We have Al Kutil who
He is older than Brad so it gives us a variety here of young
men on the spectrum. Brad is married and so he has
that aspect to share. We
In Business magazine, and she has the grandparent perspective,
the extended family, the
some of that. And then relationship that goes in with
us, and he's representing a sibling perspective as well.
He has a brother
So the first question that we have from the audience, we're
going to address this to Taylor,
having a sibling, and obviously ithat's a pretty broad question
here. The hardest part could take
several different avenues, but
question? >> The hardest how would you answer that
be more on a personal level. I part for me would
are not on the spectrum, and I'm have two other siblings who
them, hold conversations, but my two younger brothers who areh
five who are on the spectrum, I'm not able to hold
conversations. So if I
or how was your day, they can't really answer that question.
It's more of my mom telling them, tell them you met someone
at school, and they'll be like
They speak in third person not JT met someone at school.
well, how was yours? It's underskind of sad in a wayy was
because you can't really have a relationship with them, but you
try your hardest
And, Adam, we're going to direct that to you as well.
The hardest part
The hardest part probably is that you deal with.
in front of a big crowd because thhe makes a bunch of noises. us
How do you deal with that?
actions? >> I just How do you cope with his
nothing. I just brush pit off my back.s
Do you wish other people
were mYes. [LAUGHTER]f that?
Thank you. We're going
and direct this toward Jody. to go to a question
or grandchild was first diagnosed, what was your largest
fear and how has that fear changed over time?
Well, I'm going to use fear and I'm also going to use relief
because when my grandson was
autistic and she stopped two, I told my daughter he was
And there were hard times. And talking to me for a week.
you've worked with autistic kids, that's why you think this.
You're seeing things. I laid
he's not looking at anyone in any one of these and he's still
not talking and he's doing head banging and I gave her a lot of
different scenarios and she said
with you. And she I'm nwasn't available thethis
next weekend when I wanted to see her.
So I learned very early that
separation from the rest of my family because I would be
someone who I thought would deal with it.
And my daughter didn't want someone dealing with it, she
wanted someone denying it.
forward is that my grandson, who So what I've learned going
child with incredible talents. has Asperger's, is an incredible
would still cure him if she could, and I would not because I
don't think he
I think he's an incredible needs to be cured.
So what I want going forward and person in his own right.
find a way where we're both involved in his care, in making
as many bridges for him as we can without the use of the
labels and without discussing it a lot in between us.
But now she's starting to say with his Asperger's he can't.
That's a huge step for her. So my fears going forward are
that he would be limited in any way in his education or by
external people not understanding all of the
wonderful gifts that brings to
would be dimmer bear inthan it should be. world
Thank you very much. And, Brian, your fear on
diagnosis and if that has changed and what that might be.
When the boys were about three, I have twin five year old
boys who are both on the
were autistic because we had spectrum, we learned that they
At their three-year check up concerns about their speech.
many words they had, and their pediatrician asked us how
They both had about we three or four maybe.30.
And then kind of allowed as to
that, and the doctor said if you how we had some concerns about
think there was anything to worry about speech wise, he said
if you want him checked out,
your school district, we have a speech therapist from
And the speech therapist said, live in Middleton, come out.
the boys were autistic. And andmy wife told me what theysaid
said, and we were driving in the
are autistic, and I car, said no they're not. boys
And she said yes they are,
And I said no they're not, and and they need special ed.
autistic. And my I don't want them labeled as
people would always see them biggest fear is that
person. I wanted as a condition as opposed to a
and Jude, and then learn that Dylan and Jude had autistium as
opposed to saying those are those autistic boys.
And so I accepted early on that they would need therapy and
special ed after my wife said whether you think they're
autistic or not, they are. And
the help and what I've been working through all that time
then is making sure that people learn about them and all aspects
of them. So I want
they are and, again, not people to know who
And everyone in our life has view them as a condition.
People really kind of get to been very accepting of that.
this as one aspect of it. Much know them, and then just view
that really likes fire engines like you might have a kid
very active, we have or you might have a kid that is
And so that's just kids that are autistic.
And that's really been something one aspect of that.
to make sure that we don't view them or pigeonhole them as thatg
and that nobody else does as well.
Thank you very much. Our
to Brad. It says, what next question we'll address
for you to learn and are the best ways
Visually. I learn visually best.
Like I see pictures of
Like when I am in class, I make flash cards so I can remember
things better. And sometimes
teacher. My strongest Isubject is math,y
but when I'm taking the humanities courses, like
biology, psychology or
flash cards with online. I sociology, I need to make those
visualize like what are the two, learn best by learning,
that ask for a list, for questions that ask for, notes
something like racial eclassification, force of
technology, force of
meaning. Those are imperialism, force of symbolic
interactions, I think. I put the four symbolic
put the definition on the back them on a note card and I
front or a person on the front of one and I put the term on the
back. I know there's and the explanations on the
in this room has helped me so well with the organization
skills and study strategies, I
jutoday. I visualize, yep.as
[LAUGHTER] >> Just as a quick follow up,
Brad, while you have the
would be if you memorize microphone, my question to you
backstage about your abilities things so well, and we talked
for you to memorize just some of dsimple phrases or simplehard
terminology or a
When, basically, you can look at definition for an exam?
why are certain things harder thinto remember than others?er,
It's more important material you need to know.
It's more like I struggle with
much. When I was in compremiddle school, west real
weren't even sure if I could go to college, but now I am going
to college and I'm hoping to pursue a degree in...
[APPLAUSE] My plan
now, is to take some courses right now, as of right
then go to a UW school at MATC for a couple years and
Fantastic. Thank you, Brad.
[APPLAUSE] A question from the audience.
On this one we'll go to Al, and it says, aggressive behaviors,
sometimes they're out of the
that and what have you done in blue, what do you think causes
that's aggressive or stressful? >> Back when I was growing up,
anger was a tremendous issue, and I've learned to deal with it
as I've gotten older by reaching out to other people.
Doing physical exercise is important to me.
It tends to relieve my stress and that.
Anger is definitely an issue and
body language can be a problem. nIt's difficult for me to get a
feel for whether their body language is really difficult for
me to understand. I still have trouble reading
people on a subjective level. >> And you mentioned that
physical activity seems to help you deal with that, in what ways
are you incorporating that into your life?
I'm an avid bicyclist. I
weather's good. Other lphysical activity, likehe
going on daily walks or I'm also a scuba diver.
Met my wife that way. All of these are good stress
relievers. So exercise is, in my
estimation, is a really good stress reliever.
So it's important not to, sure
think your way through as a parent, to go ahead and sync the
problem, but physical activity
development as well. So don't neglect one for the
other. >> Thank you, Al.
That was a common theme that we had backstage.
[APPLAUSE] Was that there's so much focus
put on the mental aspect of somebody on the spectrum and
ignoring the physical activity
motor skills and be good at beanyway, so let's not focusod
on that. And really was the overall
agreement was that the more I do
situations. So that's a physicvery important pieceandle
that we got out of this. Next question to Adam, what's
the biggest challenge of having a sibling, now we talked about
the outbursts and things that may embarrass you from time to
time, but you talked a little bit with us about the challenges
of attention. Talk to us about that some.
Well, my brother, it feels like to me that he gets all the
attention, and I think that's because that he gets to do stuff
more often, and it turns out
stuff than him because I'm more independent and he is more ofe
the attention. >> Thank you for that
perspective. It was a case where he thought
that the brother gets to have treatments and go to places.
It dictates the family schedule.
seems to go on, and yet when It dictates everything that
thought about it more, he thought, gosh, I have freedomd
and independence. I get to go play with people.
I get to go places by myself. I get to left somewhere and not
have people hover over me all the time.
So those were really good things that came out of Adam's
discussion with us. Let's go to Jody.
How do you mediate as a grandparent and handle
situations like that, knowing when to be involved, when not to
be? >> Well, first I have to be
inside my daughter's schemata for her child, and that doesn't
have to agree with
We can take our own philosophies my philosophy.
and privately fuel them and believe that we're right, but in
the end, this is her child. And if I've going to have access
to that child and be helpful to her, then I need to do that in
the way understanding she is
She is the egg like a fragile egg where he is.
And I can't break the egg to get around this child.
and maybe him. So I get to hiinvolved in my own wayhter
of figuring out how I can be useful.
An example: my grandson was terrified of bugs.
He has many phobias;
She kept trying to rationalize bugs was one of them.
She told me don't get a bug around him, don't do this, don't
do that. So I took her
and my husband, I took them out to the country and I stopped the
car in the middle of cornfield
we're going to run and and I told my grandson, come on,
We have adventures. I took hide. Things that we do.
he was so excited about hiding him into a cornfield, and
realize that there were frobugs all around us.n't
And pretty soon I said, oh, look at that.
Oh, what's that, and he started looking at them without that
framework of being
He walked back to the car with afraid of a bug.
mother and she a worm on his hand to show his
[LAUGHTER] He's no just looked at me.
I got him on a horse, he's now longer afraid of bugs.
I think the grandparent's role, hers is day-to-day making all of
the decisions. Mine is
decisions as much as I can but working inside those
different way. I'm not enriching him and bringing him a
can't too much be ththe rule breaker. I
I call that having
Trying to get around it. But adventures. [LAUGHTER]
always be cognizant that you're the one who can push him a
little farther as long as you're
meltdowns and support her as willing to be there for the
how you don't want well and be very cognizant of
You want to be supportive, and to be interfering.
right it just has to your way doesn't have to be
Thank you for that. [APPLAUSE]
We do to Brian. Brian,
benefits of early childhood education through public schools
versus private therapies, and you also mentioned that you've
dealt with both of those, so
Right, again, we're in the we'll let you address that.
that's an excellent school Middleton School District, and
At the start of age three when district for the interventions.
before we had insurance coverage they began intervening, this is
special ed people would actually come to our house.
Several hours a week we had occupational therapists and
speech therapists and other teachers coming into our house
and working with the boys. And
about December of the year that they turned three, so both the
boys really had no real speech capabilities.
They could say one or two words here and there with no real
patterns, and they were very
And within about 60 days hard to regulate and control.
district, Jude, the younger much of working with the school
his alphabet and he could say themilk and things like that.say
He had a little bit of a hitch
milk then they began teaching where him to ask for more.sk for
And so he switched more with
milcalled more. [LAUGHTER]was
But they worked with that. And
school district moving them along, they were very quickly
getting able to talk and we were
regulate them a little more, and able to understand them and
kicked in we now have in-home thentherapy 20 hours a week.rage
Every morning for about four
two hour shifts, and then the boys go to school from 11 to 3.
The difference between the two
play-based therapy. They is the in-home therapy is
alphabets and they do turn taking and they do
And the school is then much more do regulation.
in-home therapy, each one has a actherapist one on one workinge
with them. There's
between them. At school, no real interaction
teachers in the room and they're there's several
classroom. They're only autistic boy in their
classroom. They're not in the same
But there are some other special separated for that.
classroom and then some neurologically normal kids and
they're all integrated. And what the school does is
encourages, they asked us for permission to tell the other
children about autistic and we, of course, gave that.
The school encourages the other children to learn what autistic
children are like. And the
invested in helping them out. There was, Dylan at circle time
in his class, he didn't like
He would kind of sit back with to take part in circle time.
two months he finally came up and he joined the circle and the
other kids all started
So now he likes to applauding him.
Jude, at him classroom, they be in the circle.
games. So they'll startteach him to playo play
tag, and he's finally learned hide and seek.
We were never able
Now we play hide to teach him that.
The other kids will say come hide with me.
And they go and hide with him and then they help him run and
play tag. So he's come home and he's
taught us hide and seek now. So he's learning a lot of social
interactions that were
We used to take him to very hard to teach before.
play with other kids and we pwould say go ask them to play.o
And I can remember saying Jude, JT, go ask that boy if he wants
to play with you, and he would
say, do you want stand about 20 feet away and
[LAUGHTER] And so now he knows to go up
and ask him. So that's
school. And then a big aspect of the
learning too that Dylan and Jude the other kids are
they do. So they're don't very receptive tothe way
different areas and they're willing to help them and say
things like, Jude, you can't
You don't do that. And sing during reading time.
things. And then the so they teach them those
school is really coming along in that they send homework home
with them, and so we're learning
take things too and from school. to do homework assignments and
them, the school helps them with So the two differences between
adapt to society, whereas the mindividual therapy I would sayf
helps them learn to regulate
building one on the other. It's thard to say which would bes
better or worse, but I think the
help them take these skills that two of them integrated together
and go to school and apply that. they learn, like turn taking,
attention. The therapists And thenwork with them.ke paying
They get 15 minutes of therapist
get to choose what we do, so time and 15 minutes where they
because they're being more that helps them in school
They can do stuff, like we attentive and able to do things.
gingerbread houses for went with Jude and we built a
sit at the table and pick out his things for the gingerbread
house and glue
Just to see him for 20 minutes them all together.
interact with the other kids, that was something we almost
rarely see. At home we
We say he flits from one call him a firefly.
When he goes to school, he sits and he attends to things because
that's what expected at school. So now you can get him at home,
you can say you need to sit still and pay attention to this
and he'll do that. So I think that's all a big part
of the learning is just teaching
much to focus on at once that just things like turn taking and
talking and academics, but they really manage to integrate it
together. And what's
will invite us in, and they help with a lot of assistive
technology. Middleton bought some iPads to
use for special needs kids, and we met with the school to go
over what they do with that, and
with our computer at home. We got our family to pitch in so
we could buy the boys an iPad to use, and then we've got the
school teachers who come and
they're doing with the iPads at school, and the therapists will
meet with the school teachers and say this is what we're
working on at home and the more they integrate it together, you
can just see it's an almost,
You go from not speaking to now they're five years old and Jude
can interact with you and have
maybe Taylor would conversation, not as many as
[LAUGHTER] And Dylan, who's further along
on the spectrum and much less verbal, he's able to walk along,
and he can listen to you
like go up stairs and take and you can say things
He knows how to ask you when he wants to play with the computer.
He's not real verbal, but he'll bring you over and he'll show
you the mouse. And all
things that he's learning to do and to regulate.
And then they pick up things, like Dylan really likes books
and books are something we've always had a lot of, but the
school works with him with books a lot.
And then we can work with those same books at home, and he has
that kind of facility. And
resources, just to finish up, is then also one of our big
name is Jo Ellen, and Jo Ellen Dylan's special ed teacher, her
therapists, meets with the meets with us, meets with the
with all the parents and parents, and her uniform rule
anywhere near tough theenough for Dylan. not
So she takes no guff from him, and he's really good.
And she finally said we're going
school when you're not around. to take a videotape of him at
videotape, and she would say And we all watched this
Dylan, sit down. And he sometwould start to kind ofdown,
wander away and she would say,
And if he didn't, she was really Dylan, and he went right back.
she told us what he really wants good at monitoring him and so
him and he wants from you is he wants you to push
And we were sort of, we have to accommodate him.
We have to be nicer to him. We'll go do these things.
And once we saw that it really opened a door.
So using those school resources where they don't have the time
to take guff from him, they want
started saying we don't have the him to behave in the class, we
ti[LAUGHTER] >> There you go.o.
That was a big part of our
well is that you're so discussion before coming in as
protect, you guide, and at some point in time it's like they
have to learn on their own. They have to handle this on
their own. Their going
in some situations. My to be on their own
that than I do because I'm wife does a better job of
perfect and easy and that's not necessarily the best.
And so additional freedoms, additional learning, additional
consequences, additional
Brad, we address this to you. inIt talks about friendships.y.
You're a pretty popular individual, but the question
says, he is in his schools and
about creating friendships and his town, how have you gone
you do? >> Well, interacting with others the way
had this thing at my house, it was called Camp Wing.
[LAUGHTER] It was like where we'd have
a group of friends get together.
day. We'd have a There would be a babysitter that
We'd all get together. We'd go swimming, go to the
park, do some other outdoor activities.
Basically, we'd create
A lot of friends I've known since elementary school and
middle and high school. In
experiencing some bullying. Especially there was one summer
I was bullied real bad, and that
ever since, but I do have a lot of friends that look out for me.
And I've done autism
Many people come to that. The biggest crowd at an autism
talk I had was my freshman
Like 80 kids came that year. I year in the library.
I talked about my wastalents, my struggles.d.
I also had a big
A lot of people showed up there. graduation party.
having autism is not getting The struggle with friendships
I get invited to plenty of grad parties but just, like, when
people have small get-togethers at their houses, that's the
struggle, and engaging in conversations, that's the main
struggle. My talents get to the
friendships and my
Thank you, thank you. outgThat's tremendous.yep.
[APPLAUSE] Al,
It talks about employment and what you would like to see in
the way of employment opportunities and what you think
people on the spectrum have to
Well, this is still a concern ofeven though I've been in the.
workforce for probably
There's still, especially in over 30 years now.
underemployment. I'm glad ththat I'm not unemployeduge
anymore, but just realizing that underemployment is still a
concern for a lot of people.
what everyone in the Just similar circumstances to
What was the... >> The economy is doing.
that you would want to make available that you know how to
do, you just don't have people
Okay, I seem to be really good knowing that you can do that?
and I'm a little bit at doing math in my head,
That's important for integration involved in music.
school, that's important too. Finding employment opportunities
is knowing how the system works.
perspective, but let them Anexplore on their own.hat
A balance is important to finding where their career is,
where their likes and dislikes
what their strengths really are and seeing where their strengths
are. Am I making any sense?
[LAUGHTER] >> Mm-hmm.
[INAUDIBLE] >> Oh, yeah.
Not really able to understand how the dynamic works in
interviews because, again, it's a social contact situation that
I have difficulty reading body language.
That can be a pretty big barrier.
It's still a big barrier
You get so little opportunity to for me at this point.
and, again, I'm still really not really practice your strengths,
in computer science. I'm practicing my bachelor's degree
periphery but still I'm underemployed because financial
things are a concern. I can't really go back to
school. I have
to take care of. So underemployment is a pretty
big situation, and knowing
challenged, I understand where that I'm somewhat socially
point. I have gotten people are coming from to a
gotten older. Realizing their strengths and
weaknesses is pretty important
smallest littlest things can and realizing that even the
like what his sons really make a big difference
Getting the intervention and have mentioned.
and intuiting are they understanding their strengths
a great motivator to integrate interested in music, that can be
giving them social context. diffThat was important in myand
upbringing because it was pretty
there with my dad because my important for me because I was
brother had an accident, and I family was segmented because my
for my dad. Music played was alone at that point except
in my getting through high a tremendous role
outs. And even though school aI was alone and ins and
a little bit picked on, I just brushed it off, I guess.
It really didn't seem to bother me that much.
So just knowing their strengths and weaknesses and learning what
their likes and dislikes are and
bit. Let them get lettingout and explore little
things so that they can learn in their head.
A lot of the spectrum can be in the head, but letting them do
things, the activities
Just like his sons are are important as well.
bridge the gap so that they can sync, so that they can think
about the things they're doing
people better. That's and himportant to provide aother
balance for them. >> Thank you, Al.
Our last question that we have
taking some from the audience, here, and then we'll start
the dynamic of the family. goes to Taylor and it concerns
relationship that we've touched on already, but she has some
insight on how the interaction
family impacts her of autism in the immediate
Go ahead and address that. >> Well, I am 20, almost 21, so
there's about a 15, 16 year difference between my brothers
and I. So since I'm living in the house
anymore, I don't really get to
talk to my step-dad Brian all that often, and it's really hard
to try and maintain a relationship with my parents in
that sense because there's not
chat with my mom about really a good time to call and
Between 8:00 in the morning and noon she has five or six
teachers coming and trying to help the boys, so she's busy
helping out with that. At 12:30, sorry, excuse me,
11:30, the boys get on the bus, so she has about a two-hour
break there, but I'm at work so it's not really good for me or
her. And then when
2:30, she gets one off the bus they get back at
the other boy off the bus. And and then 10 minutes later gets
to camp for three hours. So it's really hard to try and
have a relationship in that sense, and it's hard to get mad
or jealous. Those are not two words that I
would use in this. It's more of I'm trying to be
understanding of I have two siblings that are on the
spectrum and they need extra
something that I just atneed to understand.st
I have to work a little harder
work a little harder at it. It's just something that makes
me sad, but you got to work through it.
Our motto or slogan with the
improve the lives of all Autism Society is trying to
And a lot of times we take it as the person on the spectrum,
that's who we're trying to help and that's certainly the main
goal of what we do is helping the life journey for that
person, but then it impacts everybody that you know,
everybody that lives with you or
friends, your relationships, lives outside of the home, your
And that's a huge thing that your extended family.
future is how to will be tackled in the near
We try to get understanding from make that better.
even have a hard time getting socextended family members to we
understand our own situation and
how to allow times for parents how to make all of that work and
children to be children of to be parents to others and
where it's all encompassing versus just the immediate impact
because it's far reaching. If you have a question, you can
just raise your hand, and we'll take a couple real quick.
Anybody have a
And I just need the name of the person that you might want to
ask it of. Yes?
This is to Brad. >> Okay.
[INAUDIBLE] I was just
was struggles with understanding wondering if there
aren't the reality maybe? thWas there a time when youngs
understood that you could realize that maybe you had to
look at it a different way. >>
the webcast people so they Let me address that too for
This is going to Brad and it can hear the question.
14-year-old Asperger trying to deals with the question of a
make things work and what time kind of make things click or
come to a better understanding in your life did you kind of
what was going on? >> About eitlike eighth grade or son or
or ninth grade. That's
or like late middle school/early when I, like ninth grade
doing more things on my own, high school, is when I started
independently like homework. like doing more things
much help. I worked, In middle school I needed so
and hours a night when I we worked like hours
Brad, was there a time, I think the question may have
related to this as well, that things went from sort of make
believe and stuff to like real
things seemed to come into focus life important situations where
of a purpose to school more clearly and there was more
Things came in more clearly as and work or all that?
11th grade. Things came I wein more clearly whenike
things were explained.
comprehension skills. When Especially with my reading
that didn't come until, the really good skills, come until
once I took the academic
That really helped me reawith comprehension.ge.
Also making things more clearly came in to like sixth grade too
when I started to think work
take work even more seriously than I did in elementary school.
Yep. >> When were made aware of your
diagnosis or situation? Or when did you become
internally aware that you were different in some ways?
Probably like second grade
ed a lot. I was diagnosed becausewhen I was four,special
but I know when I was three or
out of control. I couldn't four my words, my speech was so
And I know that I can vspeak better now.l.
That is good. >> Can I
jumtoo? >> Sure.one,
Would that be all right, David?
My grandson was describing
He's 10, almost 11. And he his riding school recently.
Horsefeathers, someone that had never heard of it before.
And he said it's a really great school because everybody that
goes there has a disability and they let them ride.
He said everybody but me. And then he looked at me, and he
said wait a minute. [LAUGHTER]
And he looked at me like, answer that question.
And I knew I better not answer it given his mother.
And I said, Patrick, everybody
disabilities, everybody has difthat you meet.es and
Some are more outside, like some
laying over the horse so that ofthey can get their balance.ng,
And some are more inside with just how we see the world, and
everybody's riding that horse for a different reason.
You can go out in the world and pick anybody and put them on
that horse, and they probably belong on that horse.
And he said, okay. But I'm
it would be easier to have a wondering when, I think
explain why he feels different. plSo I would be a proponent ofp
talking to him about Asperger's and my daughter is of the thing
that he would feel badly or he
trying. And so I'm honoring her
perspective now but trying
This is one of the most important and difficult
decisions I think a parent or a grandparent can make is in
helping a child realize they're different without being
different. Something
Being different is cool for a lot of people, so how can we do
that and still make society look
that's cool too? So at I'm with you on that.hat
That's a hard talk. >>
typical/atypical. It goes to, but at the same time
you don't want ordinary. We would all wish our children
to be typical, but then certain fantastic properties would
disappear with that. They've
way and it's how to put that to its best use and how to make
people see that, latch on to
prosper. Any other question?
You have them, this is your chance.
Yes? >> This is for Al.
[INAUDIBLE] >> Okay,
talks about the timing of his diagnosis, which was
later in life, what made him
made the diagnosis come so late. actually seek that out or what
was still an issue even though >> As I mentioned earlier, anger
Why I sought the diagnosis, I saw that it was, looking at
myself, I said why do I have so few friends?
I was beginning to
And my wife, my first wife think, am I different?
this so that we can figure out understood we need to approach
resolution as to why and try to get some kind of
And when she finally got me down you're so angry.
diagnosed as that point because to I really cared about mywas
relationship with my first wife.
that I'm so alone. I'm And it was detrimental to me
I different? Why am I different?
Then a light went off and it said, oh, this is what's
happening. That's why I have my anger.
And when I finally got my family
while for them to understand involved, and it took a little
mildly challenged. I still I was Asperger's, that I was
autism, certainly, and that I needed certain things in order
for me to control the anger and reach out to other people more
effectively. That's the biggest thing because
I like helping people. I want them to understand I have
certain strengths, and it's important to reach out to other
people and understand that just because I'm on the spectrum,
yeah I think have certain quirks, but as long as you
understand that I am on the spectrum that I can appreciate
my differences and the
It's part of my joy that strengths that I have.
I always have. Music I like helping people.
Getting involved in the camaraderie that was part of my
drum and bugle corps, reaching
with in my college years. ouIt's been liberating, to aup
point, to really get a better handle on understanding where I
came from and the dynamic of how
neurotypical person. I I may be different than the
there's 15 classical symptoms for autism, and I'm not even
sure how many I exhibit, but it was obviously more prevalent
when I was really younger. So just learning the differences
and understanding myself better and trying to gain friendships,
which are important to me, and
connections to people tryiis important to me. make
Thank you, Al. Anything else?
Yes? >> I was wondering, you said
that earlier, this is to Al,
how exercise helped you manage sorry, you were talking about
and I was wondering what other some of those feelings of anger,
you? >> So this is strategies you found that helped
well, and it pertains to directed to Al as
are other strategies for coping. physical activity and if there
has been a mainstay of how >> Certainly physical activity
At this point, I've developed the necessary mental acuity to
understand where my emotions are
well, yes I'm being affected by this but the wheel of life keeps
changing and it's going to
going to get better. Just rhaving that realization ise
important. Again, knowing how I can release
the stress because people on the
the whole family dynamic and spectrum are, again it affects
spectrum dramatically. If afyou can develop good copingthe
mechanisms to lower their stress
coming from, that's a critical and understand where they're
constant thing. You skhave to be cognizant ofs a
where your child is and how their adjusting to things.
Thank you, Al. We're
I do want a round of applause, going to wrap up.
for sharing their thoughexperiences today.s and
[APPLAUSE] Thank
And one last note here before Marsha comes out to say just a
few closing words is that we'll try to have a few panelists out
front. We'll sneak
around front in case you have just a really quick question
that you didn't ask or a comment
one of them. We'll get that you'd like to share with
everybody's leaving. But for them out front as
nto Marsha. Thank you.t
Well, I just want to say a
It's been a real privilege to be few final words of thanks.
you who are here and those with all of you today, those of
It's just been a of you who are online.
I want to thank the panel. You wonderful partnership.
gracious and generous to share are amazing and you're so
really, really learned so much your words with us, and we've
You have insights and you're from each and every one of you.
and that mean a huge amount. willing to share those insights,
today who each provided such I want to thank our speakers
us. I want to thank importantTeresa Palumboo all of
and Molly Walsh and Clark Kellogg, who made this event
work so smoothly. [APPLAUSE]