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[bright music]
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- Ann Marie Craig: Welcome
to the Museum of Wisconsin Art.
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My name is Ann Marie Craig,
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and I am the adult programs
coordinator here at the museum.
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I want to take a moment
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to welcome you
to the Museum of Wisconsin Art.
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We're here located
along the Milwaukee River
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in beautiful downtown
West Bend, Wisconsin.
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And here at MOA, we believe
that where we live is important
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and we are passionate
about Wisconsin.
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Everything we exhibit
and talk about
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has been created by an artist
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with deep connections
to the state,
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and I would like to encourage
you to take the time
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to explore our
current exhibitions
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while you are here today.
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Welcome also to the art and
wellness program here at MOA,
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which has been sponsored by
Network Health Insurance Company
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since we began it
more than five years ago.
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We provide programming
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that touches on many aspects
of the connection
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between the arts and wellness,
and I'm especially excited
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to introduce our June speaker
to you,
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as the topic of her talk
picks up on themes
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that run through not only
our main exhibition
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of the American landscape,
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but also those
of the teen artists
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whose work is presently
on view in our state gallery.
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Prasanta Verma Anumolu is
an accomplished author, speaker,
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and community development
and health professional
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focused on economic resilience,
food programs,
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food systems,
and social connection.
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She researches and leads efforts
to improve food access
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in Wisconsin,
strengthen social connection,
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and address
the loneliness epidemic,
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foster economic resiliency,
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and build healthier,
more connected communities.
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Her book,
Beyond Ethnic Loneliness,
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was a finalist for
the 2024 Forward's Review
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Book of the Year and speaks
into the loneliness epidemic,
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the need for social connection,
and bridging understanding.
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Prasanta is passionate about
making our communities healthier
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and better connected.
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Please join me in welcoming
Prasanta Verma Anumolu.
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Thank you.
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[audience applauds]
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- Prasanta Verma Anumolu:
Thank you so much for having me.
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I'm so excited to be here
with you today.
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My name is Prasanta,
and as she mentioned,
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I am a speaker and author,
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and I work in
community development
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with UW-Madison Extension.
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I work in economic development
as well as food systems,
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and I like to bring
in a public health lens
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into the work that I do.
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I'm excited to be here with you
today to talk about a topic
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that I'm passionate about,
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which is loneliness
and social connection,
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and how can we connect better.
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Thank you to UW Badger Talks,
the Wisconsin Museum of Art,
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and Wisconsin PBS
for this presentation
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and for the live stream.
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So, I work for Extension.
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As an introduction to Extension,
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we exist in every county
in the state of Wisconsin,
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and we try to extend
learning beyond the classroom.
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That is the extension
of the Wisconsin idea,
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bringing learning
into the community.
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And that is why
I am here with you today.
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So, today we're gonna talk
about loneliness
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and social connection,
and I'm going to give
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an overview
of our time together.
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I'm going to talk about
what is loneliness,
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what is social connection,
and how can we connect better.
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This is a roadmap
of our time together.
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And I will be sharing data,
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groups that are at risk,
sharing resources,
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books, and documentaries
and films.
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And the second half
of the presentation
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will be focused on practical
aspects of what we can do
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to connect better
with each other.
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Barbara is 80 years old.
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She recently lost her spouse
of 55 years.
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She retired a number
of years ago.
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She lives alone.
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She can't drive anymore
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and has a newly
diagnosed health concern.
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And all of her family
lived away.
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Emma is 10.
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She and her friends all
have phones.
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They have fun
with TikTok and Instagram,
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making videos
and following the latest trends.
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Fast forward a few years now,
and Emma is 15.
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She's depressed, lacking
motivation, and has anxiety.
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She's lost interest
in her usual activities,
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and her parents are
very concerned.
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Ravi is 32.
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He just moved to a new city
where he doesn't know anybody.
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He's a computer programmer
and works remotely.
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In the evenings,
he streams movies
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or plays games online
with strangers
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or friends who live far away.
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Jessica is 40.
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She has two young children.
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She's a single mom
and works full time.
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She also cares for her
elderly father, who lives alone,
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but within a 15-minute drive.
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Between her work,
her children, and her father,
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she has no time
for anything else.
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And these are all stories
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of social connection
and loneliness.
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So, first let's define
what is loneliness.
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Well, I think we all have some
sense of what loneliness is.
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It is that feeling alone
or disconnected from others,
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having a lack of close
or meaningful relationships
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or a sense of belonging.
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It is a subjective feeling
of being isolated.
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It is when the relationships
that we have
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are lacking the depth
and meaning
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that we would like them to have.
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That's loneliness.
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Social isolation is
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when a person does not have
relationships
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or contact with others,
little or no social support.
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It is an objective state of
having few social relationships
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or infrequent social contact
with others.
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So, it's different
from loneliness.
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A person can be in a room
with 50 other people
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and still feel lonely.
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They're not lacking
in social connection,
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but they might be lacking in
the depth of those relationships
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and feeling lonely.
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So, how did this begin?
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How did we start talking about
loneliness and social isolation,
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and what is
the loneliness epidemic?
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Well, a few years ago,
the then-Surgeon General,
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his name was Vivek Murthy.
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He wanted to travel
around the United States
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to get an idea of what was
the sense of health
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and well-being in the country.
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So, he traveled all over,
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and he talked to people
from all walks of life.
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And he found the things that you
might expect that he would find.
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He found chronic illness,
such as diabetes,
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high blood pressure,
and heart disease.
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And as he was talking to people,
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he found a common theme
of questions and comments.
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People were saying to him,
"I don't have any friends.
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"How can I meet people?
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"Where do I go?
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"What do I do to meet people?
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I don't have anyone to talk to."
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You see, he found a different
kind of chronic condition
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affecting people all over
the country, and he named it.
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He said, "We're having
an epidemic of loneliness."
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So, how common is
this epidemic of loneliness?
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Well, according
to the Surgeon General's report,
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one in three adults
in the United States
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report feeling lonely, and one
in four report a lack of social
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and emotional support.
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That's 25% to 30%
of the U.S. population
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reporting loneliness
or a lack of social connection.
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And here's the book
that he wrote.
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It's called Together.
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And he wrote about
his experience and the report
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that he wrote on loneliness.
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And that's the book, Together.
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But, you know, loneliness
isn't just in the United States.
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It's also in the world.
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One in six people worldwide
experience loneliness,
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according to the
World Health Organization.
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It's contributing
to 100 deaths per hour
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and 871,000 deaths per year.
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And in fact,
Japan and the UK have appointed
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Ministers of Loneliness
in their countries
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to address the epidemic
happening over there.
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So, you might be asking,
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how is loneliness
contributing to death?
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Well, loneliness is
also a silent killer.
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Let's look at some of the
health effects of loneliness.
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People who are lonely are 50%
more likely to die prematurely.
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And poor social
relationships contribute
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to a 29% increased risk
of coronary heart disease
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and stroke,
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and it damages health as much as
smoking 15 cigarettes per day.
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More health effects.
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There is a 50% increase
of developing dementia
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because of social isolation,
according to an NIH study.
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And loneliness
among heart failure patients
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leads to an increased risk
of death, hospitalization,
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emergency room visits.
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And poor social relationships
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are associated with a
32% increased risk of stroke.
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So, now let's look
at some groups
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that are at risk for loneliness.
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And one of these groups
are the older population.
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So, 24% of Americans age 65
and above are socially isolated.
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35% of adults age 45
and above report feeling lonely.
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And 43% of adults ages 60
and above report feeling lonely.
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So, a good percentage
of our population
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is reporting loneliness or
isolation above the age of 40.
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And if we wanna look at the
statistics of one in three
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and one in four, we could even
imagine that it's in this room.
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Now, that's not
how statistics works.
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But if it's not in this room,
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we know that it's outside
of these walls,
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in the community, in the places
that we live and work and play.
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Let's look at another group
that is at risk,
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loneliness in young adults.
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One in three adults
between the ages of 18 and 29
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report feeling lonely,
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and we often tend to think that
older adults are the loneliest.
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But actually, in fact,
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the data tell us
that emerging adults are in fact
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the loneliest generation.
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Despite being
more plugged in technologically,
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despite having access to phones
and digital connection,
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these are the loneliest group.
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It is creating depression
and mental health conditions
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and increases the risk
of suicide by 16 times.
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And researchers are
connecting technology directly
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as a primary source
of loneliness.
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Because what's happening is that
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digital technology is replacing
face-to-face communication.
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Last year, The Atlantic
published an article called
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"The Anti-social Century."
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And they say that we are
spending more time online.
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And we are the most
antisocial century ever.
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Because the first half
of the 20th century was social.
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But in our
post-industrialized society,
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fewer than 25% of people
are in clubs and groups,
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sports leagues or other groups,
and teens and young adults
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are showing the largest decrease
in socializing since 2010.
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In 2001, a political scientist
by the name of Robert Putman
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published a book called
Bowling Alone.
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And in this book,
he shared how there is a trend
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of folks getting together less
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for things such as
bowling leagues or clubs.
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He also noted
that volunteering was down.
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And at the time
of the publication,
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his work showed
how social bonds
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were the most powerful predictor
of life satisfaction
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and how the loss
of social capital
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was being felt in critical ways,
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and it was a strong predictor
of crime rates
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and other measures
of neighborhood quality of life
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and affecting our health
in other ways.
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And more recently,
he came out with a documentary
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that's Join or Die.
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I haven't seen it yet.
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It's being showed in a few
screenings around the country,
252
00:12:26,647 --> 00:12:28,649
but he did a re-release
of his book,
253
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,717
an updated version in 2020,
254
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:34,421
and more recently, the
Join or Die documentary came out
255
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:36,156
from this book.
256
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:40,093
So, what are some other trends
that we're seeing in regard
257
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,463
to social disconnection
and loneliness?
258
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:48,101
Well, since 2003,
more adults are eating solo.
259
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:52,472
The number of adults
eating alone has risen 50%.
260
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:56,243
So, one in four
eating all their meals alone.
261
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:58,679
More people are living alone.
262
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:02,983
38% of adults ages 25 to 54
are living alone.
263
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:05,886
We're also seeing
increasing solo travel.
264
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,221
Now, that's not necessarily
265
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,424
because of social disconnection
or loneliness.
266
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,426
Some people are choosing
to do this as a way
267
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,961
of rest and rejuvenation,
268
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,663
but it is a trend
to be aware of.
269
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,499
Fewer dining rooms
are being built.
270
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,668
There have been some articles
over the past few years
271
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:24,037
that are showing
that new construction
272
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,273
and new construction people
are choosing not to have
273
00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:28,208
the traditional
formal dining room.
274
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,344
And as we can see,
people are eating alone.
275
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,545
That's one reason.
276
00:13:31,612 --> 00:13:33,113
But another reason is cost.
277
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,583
You know, because square footage
costs more,
278
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,785
people are making
very difficult decisions
279
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,521
about what to do with the space.
280
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,890
Also, space and land
is a consideration.
281
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:45,926
So, we're seeing
fewer dining rooms as well.
282
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,227
And in addition,
283
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:52,633
socializing is reduced
and hosting friends has reduced.
284
00:13:54,368 --> 00:13:56,270
So, what are some
of the types of loneliness?
285
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,871
And I'm gonna go through just
a few.
286
00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:59,540
These are not all of them.
287
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:02,776
But we talk about emotional
and social loneliness,
288
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,811
which is what we've
been talking about.
289
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:07,147
But there's other kinds
of loneliness.
290
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:10,150
For example,
situational loneliness.
291
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,986
Now, this is a kind of
temporary type of situation,
292
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:17,157
such as if you move to a new
city and you don't know anybody.
293
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,459
That could be
a situational type of loneliness
294
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,428
that could resolve over time
295
00:14:21,495 --> 00:14:26,166
as you get more connected
and build community around you.
296
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:29,036
Loneliness can also be chronic
or acute.
297
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:31,071
And I'll talk
a little bit more about that.
298
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,439
So, loneliness,
299
00:14:32,506 --> 00:14:35,142
chronic loneliness can persist
over long periods of time,
300
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:37,678
or it can be
for short periods of time.
301
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,479
And I'm also going to talk
a little bit
302
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,316
about ethnic loneliness,
and that is another group
303
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:46,620
that we may not necessarily be
thinking about who are lonely.
304
00:14:46,687 --> 00:14:48,021
So, at-risk groups.
305
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,824
We're gonna go into each of
these in a little more detail.
306
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:54,695
The elderly, those
who have visible disabilities
307
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:58,365
and hidden disabilities,
young adults,
308
00:14:58,432 --> 00:15:01,134
and, as I mentioned,
racial and ethnic minorities.
309
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,136
That includes immigrants,
refugees,
310
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:07,774
multicultural, third culture
kids, and adoptees.
311
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:10,644
So, we're gonna dive into each
of these a little bit more.
312
00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:12,412
So, older adults.
313
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:15,382
40% of older adults are lonely,
314
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:20,787
and those ages 45 to 49
feel the most alone,
315
00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:23,657
followed by adults in their 50s.
316
00:15:23,724 --> 00:15:26,326
And some of the risk factors
for all the older population
317
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,328
include being
physically isolated.
318
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:31,999
And that could mean
perhaps mobility issues.
319
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:36,003
It could also mean lack
of transportation in your area.
320
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:39,673
Or if you live in a rural area
and you are not able to drive.
321
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,441
Having a lack
of transportation there
322
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,477
when services are far apart.
323
00:15:43,544 --> 00:15:46,280
All of these
contribute to social isolation
324
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:49,249
and can lead to feeling lonely.
325
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,419
Frailty, the hearing impaired.
326
00:15:52,486 --> 00:15:56,490
I have been around older folks
who have hearing loss,
327
00:15:56,557 --> 00:15:59,193
and I see that when
you're not able to hear,
328
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:04,464
you can't hear the conversation,
you can't detect social cues,
329
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,700
the tone and nuance
of conversation.
330
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:08,468
And so, that leads to isolation
331
00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:12,005
and a lack of engaging
in social ways.
332
00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:17,244
Depression is also
a risk factor for loneliness
333
00:16:17,311 --> 00:16:19,613
and the lack of use
of technology.
334
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:23,016
You know, many older adults
aren't able to use technology,
335
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:26,253
and so much of our lives
now are centered on apps
336
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,655
on our phone or online.
337
00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:30,057
You know, a lot of our services,
338
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:33,527
banking and so many other things
are online.
339
00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,662
And even when you think about
social events.
340
00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:37,664
You know, sometimes there's
a Facebook group
341
00:16:37,731 --> 00:16:40,367
or an Instagram group and
they say, "Sign up here online."
342
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,102
Well, if you aren't online,
343
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:43,904
you don't even know
that it's happening.
344
00:16:43,971 --> 00:16:48,976
So, lots of populations
of our group are being left out
345
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:54,515
because they are not able to
join online or use technology.
346
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:59,586
So, we also are in the midst
of an aging population.
347
00:16:59,653 --> 00:17:01,755
Americans age 65 and older
348
00:17:01,822 --> 00:17:06,693
is projected to increase from 58
million to 82 million by 2050.
349
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:07,861
That's just in 30 years,
350
00:17:07,928 --> 00:17:11,031
we're going to see
a 42% increase in Americans
351
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:15,536
aged 65 and older,
and the age 65 and older group
352
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:19,072
is projected
to arise from 17% to 23%.
353
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,808
That is one in four people.
354
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:26,280
One in four people of our
population will be 65 and older.
355
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,982
And while our population
is aging, you know,
356
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:31,952
we're shifting
from a population pyramid
357
00:17:32,019 --> 00:17:33,921
that was more like
a traditional pyramid shape
358
00:17:33,987 --> 00:17:35,289
to more of a column shape.
359
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:38,892
And that's wider at the top
and more narrow at the bottom.
360
00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:40,827
What's happening is
that our systems
361
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,330
and our infrastructure
are not keeping pace
362
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:44,665
with our aging population.
363
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,067
We are not moving
at the same pace
364
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:50,337
as our population is aging
in terms of infrastructure,
365
00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:52,973
in terms of housing,
in terms of health care,
366
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,274
and in terms of services
367
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:57,544
that the aging population
is going to need.
368
00:17:57,611 --> 00:17:59,880
And that brings me
to the next at-risk group,
369
00:17:59,947 --> 00:18:01,748
which are caregivers.
370
00:18:01,815 --> 00:18:04,818
According to the AARP, which is
a study that was done recently,
371
00:18:04,885 --> 00:18:07,654
63 million Americans
are caregivers,
372
00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:10,224
and many of these
are unpaid caregivers.
373
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:14,328
59 million of those 63 million
are caring for an older adult.
374
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,663
And some of them
are caring for older adults
375
00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:19,800
as well as children
and other family members.
376
00:18:19,867 --> 00:18:23,537
What we are seeing is caregivers
sometimes into this category
377
00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:25,939
by default,
because there is nobody else,
378
00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:29,076
there is no other solution,
elder care is expensive,
379
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,945
and so the caregiver burden
is another category
380
00:18:32,012 --> 00:18:36,483
of people and situation
that is at risk for loneliness,
381
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,585
because caregivers need care
themselves.
382
00:18:38,652 --> 00:18:39,987
And if there's a lack
of caregivers,
383
00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:44,691
where are they gonna get
the respite that they need?
384
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:48,595
So, this is a book titled
Being Mortal by Atul Gawande,
385
00:18:48,662 --> 00:18:51,365
and it is exploring
modern medicine regarding
386
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,100
aging and end of life.
387
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,102
And it's an excellent book,
388
00:18:55,169 --> 00:18:56,970
talks about the history
of nursing care
389
00:18:57,037 --> 00:18:59,006
and how it was actually set up
390
00:18:59,072 --> 00:19:01,542
to be a temporary sort
of situation.
391
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,943
Nursing homes, that is.
392
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:05,879
Also talks about the importance
of having the conversation,
393
00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:08,715
having conversations
with our loved ones
394
00:19:08,782 --> 00:19:11,552
about aging, about end of care,
395
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:15,489
and how we are going to
be prepared for caregiving needs
396
00:19:15,556 --> 00:19:16,823
at the end of life.
397
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:19,826
So, that is
an excellent resource.
398
00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:23,163
The next category are those
with disabilities,
399
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,565
including hidden disabilities.
400
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:27,534
So, I wanted to spend
a little bit of time on this.
401
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:30,070
Those who have
physical mobilities
402
00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:33,273
have a barrier to overcome
to participating
403
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,909
in social events and gatherings.
404
00:19:35,976 --> 00:19:38,645
I've also mentioned
hearing disabilities as well.
405
00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:41,415
That is another risk factor
for loneliness
406
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:44,051
and social disconnection.
407
00:19:45,219 --> 00:19:46,854
Individuals
with chronic illness,
408
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,589
chronic fatigue,
or chronic pain.
409
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:51,024
This is one of those
hidden disabilities.
410
00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:52,860
Sometimes if there's somebody
that you know
411
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:54,194
that may have a chronic illness
412
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,396
and you see them out
and about in the grocery store,
413
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:59,700
they may look okay
and may appear to be all right
414
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,768
when you see them,
but what we don't see is
415
00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:04,137
that may be their only outing
that they have that day
416
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:06,773
or that week
because they are struggling
417
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,644
with their long-term
hidden condition.
418
00:20:11,178 --> 00:20:13,914
I also wanted to mention
mental health conditions.
419
00:20:13,981 --> 00:20:16,517
Anxiety, PTSD, depression.
420
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:21,255
This can set up a cycle
of lack of social connection
421
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,422
and loneliness.
422
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,691
This is another at-risk group.
423
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,693
In addition, you might
not have thought about this one,
424
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,495
but those
with multiple food allergies.
425
00:20:28,562 --> 00:20:31,198
Now, interestingly,
1 in 13 children
426
00:20:31,265 --> 00:20:34,434
and 1 in 10 adults
actually have food allergies,
427
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:35,736
believe it or not.
428
00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,838
This is something that
is growing in the United States.
429
00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:39,273
And I wanted to mention it
430
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,909
because I actually had a child
with multiple food allergies.
431
00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:44,511
And what happens
when we have social events
432
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:47,748
and when we have gatherings
that are centered around food,
433
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:50,584
you are starting to see adults
and children being left out,
434
00:20:50,651 --> 00:20:52,085
left out of the activities
435
00:20:52,152 --> 00:20:54,254
because they are
not able to participate
436
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:59,059
due to their allergies
or other medical conditions.
437
00:20:59,126 --> 00:21:01,361
And I also wanted to mention
the neuroatypical
438
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,564
or neurodivergent populations.
439
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,065
Now, these are umbrella terms
440
00:21:05,132 --> 00:21:09,069
that cover a wide variety
of neuroatypical conditions.
441
00:21:09,136 --> 00:21:11,004
But this is another category
at risk
442
00:21:11,071 --> 00:21:13,307
of loneliness and disconnection.
443
00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:14,708
So, as we look
through this list,
444
00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:18,378
these are some at-risk groups
of maybe groups and populations
445
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:21,949
that we might not readily
think of, but are among us
446
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:24,451
and are growing
and a significant percentage
447
00:21:24,518 --> 00:21:26,320
of our population.
448
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:30,157
So, another at-risk group
are young adults.
449
00:21:30,224 --> 00:21:31,592
And as I mentioned,
450
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:36,129
young adults have twice the rate
of loneliness as the elderly.
451
00:21:36,196 --> 00:21:39,499
40% say they only have one
or two caring friends,
452
00:21:39,566 --> 00:21:42,736
and 12% say they have
no caring friends.
453
00:21:42,803 --> 00:21:45,939
44% say they matter
to other people a little bit,
454
00:21:46,006 --> 00:21:47,674
or not at all.
455
00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:52,246
And in 2007, we saw a dramatic
increase in loneliness.
456
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:56,416
And also in 2007,
the iPhone was released.
457
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:02,623
In 2024, a book came out called
The Anxious Generation
458
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:03,891
by Jonathan Haidt,
459
00:22:03,957 --> 00:22:06,059
and he provided data
and research
460
00:22:06,126 --> 00:22:08,729
of the impact of social media
on young,
461
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,797
developing brains and bodies,
462
00:22:10,864 --> 00:22:14,668
and research that shows
how it's affecting their mental,
463
00:22:14,735 --> 00:22:17,671
physical, and social health
and well-being.
464
00:22:17,738 --> 00:22:18,839
Basically, he says
465
00:22:18,906 --> 00:22:22,109
that we have moved
from a play-based childhood
466
00:22:22,176 --> 00:22:23,844
to a phone-based childhood.
467
00:22:23,911 --> 00:22:26,747
And he calls this
the great rewiring,
468
00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:30,784
the great rewiring
of our children's brains.
469
00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:35,689
So, it's leading to sleep
deprivation, social deprivation,
470
00:22:35,756 --> 00:22:38,692
attention fragmentation,
and addiction.
471
00:22:38,759 --> 00:22:41,695
Because social media platforms
are designed to be addictive
472
00:22:41,762 --> 00:22:44,031
and reinforce
compulsive behavior,
473
00:22:44,097 --> 00:22:46,500
just like when you
hit the like button
474
00:22:46,567 --> 00:22:48,902
and the reshares and reposts
475
00:22:48,969 --> 00:22:52,873
and the comments all provide
a hit of dopamine in your brain,
476
00:22:52,940 --> 00:22:55,709
and that is reinforcing
that compulsive behavior.
477
00:22:55,776 --> 00:22:58,212
So, people are starting
to take notice of this.
478
00:22:58,278 --> 00:22:59,613
And actually,
479
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,816
the country of Australia has
banned the use of social media
480
00:23:02,883 --> 00:23:05,185
for children
under the age of 16.
481
00:23:05,252 --> 00:23:07,955
And even in the U.S., schools
are starting to pay attention.
482
00:23:08,021 --> 00:23:11,358
They're starting to ban phones
being used in the classroom,
483
00:23:11,425 --> 00:23:13,727
and they're actually seeing
a lot of benefits.
484
00:23:13,794 --> 00:23:16,129
They're seeing
increased attention span,
485
00:23:16,196 --> 00:23:19,633
fewer behavior problems,
and children that are happier
486
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:23,704
and actually interacting
with each other.
487
00:23:25,506 --> 00:23:28,141
So, another group
that is at risk are immigrants
488
00:23:28,208 --> 00:23:30,744
and ethnic and racial
minorities, refugees,
489
00:23:30,811 --> 00:23:34,047
multicultural, third cultural
kids, and adoptees.
490
00:23:34,114 --> 00:23:36,149
These report higher rates
of loneliness
491
00:23:36,216 --> 00:23:38,619
than the white population
and could be for reasons
492
00:23:38,685 --> 00:23:42,155
like discrimination, racism,
or xenophobia.
493
00:23:42,222 --> 00:23:45,959
And some of the themes
that appear in this population
494
00:23:46,026 --> 00:23:49,062
are feeling a sense
of cultural isolation,
495
00:23:49,129 --> 00:23:50,631
feeling like
a perpetual foreigner.
496
00:23:50,697 --> 00:23:52,432
You know, for those even
who have been here
497
00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:55,435
for multiple generations,
but because maybe
498
00:23:55,502 --> 00:23:57,838
they look a little different
or have a different,
499
00:23:57,905 --> 00:23:59,907
maybe a different
language background
500
00:23:59,973 --> 00:24:03,510
or cultural background
may still feel like a foreigner.
501
00:24:03,577 --> 00:24:04,678
It's a liminal space.
502
00:24:04,745 --> 00:24:06,580
It's an in-between space,
you know,
503
00:24:06,647 --> 00:24:09,683
as we think about what
does home mean?
504
00:24:09,750 --> 00:24:12,486
And I can talk
from my experience as someone
505
00:24:12,553 --> 00:24:15,589
who has grown up in the
United States all of my life,
506
00:24:15,656 --> 00:24:18,358
but with roots in India,
you know, thinking about,
507
00:24:18,425 --> 00:24:19,593
you know, what is my home?
508
00:24:19,660 --> 00:24:20,761
This is my home.
509
00:24:20,827 --> 00:24:23,463
But yet, I also honor
and respect my background
510
00:24:23,530 --> 00:24:25,132
and cultural heritage.
511
00:24:25,199 --> 00:24:27,868
So, what does that mean for me,
and how do I define home?
512
00:24:27,935 --> 00:24:30,504
And so, as I was walking through
the museum and looking at,
513
00:24:30,571 --> 00:24:32,606
you know,
the Wisconsin landscape
514
00:24:32,673 --> 00:24:34,775
and looking at what
teens have,
515
00:24:34,842 --> 00:24:38,412
the art that they have provided
about social connection,
516
00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:40,981
it struck me, you know,
what does home mean
517
00:24:41,048 --> 00:24:42,983
and that concept of home?
518
00:24:43,050 --> 00:24:46,053
That is something that I think
many groups wrestle with.
519
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,689
Identity negotiation is
what I just talked about.
520
00:24:48,755 --> 00:24:50,557
You know, what is my identity?
521
00:24:50,624 --> 00:24:52,392
What is the identity
of each of us?
522
00:24:52,459 --> 00:24:55,262
I think we hold
multiple identities.
523
00:24:55,329 --> 00:24:56,496
Dealing with stereotypes.
524
00:24:56,563 --> 00:24:58,565
And once again, the stereotypes.
525
00:24:58,632 --> 00:25:02,169
I can use myself as an example,
Asian Americans.
526
00:25:02,236 --> 00:25:05,072
One example would be, well,
some people might say
527
00:25:05,138 --> 00:25:06,507
Asian Americans are all
good at math,
528
00:25:06,573 --> 00:25:07,808
or they're all good at chess.
529
00:25:07,875 --> 00:25:10,477
Well, that's not actually true
because I like to write.
530
00:25:10,544 --> 00:25:11,778
I don't like to do math.
531
00:25:11,845 --> 00:25:16,183
So, you know, an example
would be for American culture,
532
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:18,385
all Americans love hot dogs
and baseball.
533
00:25:18,452 --> 00:25:19,620
Well, that's not true.
534
00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:21,588
Not everybody loves
hot dogs and baseball, right?
535
00:25:21,655 --> 00:25:23,557
So, we wouldn't apply
those stereotypes
536
00:25:23,624 --> 00:25:27,060
to other cultural groups
as well.
537
00:25:27,127 --> 00:25:29,096
So, there's a sense
of belonging uncertainty.
538
00:25:29,162 --> 00:25:32,199
You know, sometimes this
population feels
539
00:25:32,266 --> 00:25:34,668
like they belong, and sometimes
they feel like they don't.
540
00:25:34,735 --> 00:25:36,403
And that sense of disbelonging
541
00:25:36,470 --> 00:25:39,773
lends itself to a feeling
of loneliness.
542
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,675
And sometimes
this group feels invisible
543
00:25:41,742 --> 00:25:43,544
and sometimes they feel
hypervisible.
544
00:25:43,610 --> 00:25:46,079
You know, sometimes they don't
see themselves represented,
545
00:25:46,146 --> 00:25:48,148
and sometimes they feel
they're hypervisible.
546
00:25:48,215 --> 00:25:50,751
And that hypervisible
could be positive or negative,
547
00:25:50,817 --> 00:25:53,787
a positive light, or it could be
in a negative light.
548
00:25:53,854 --> 00:25:55,122
If there's something
that happens
549
00:25:55,189 --> 00:25:58,025
and there's a story being
widely distributed in the media,
550
00:25:58,091 --> 00:26:02,763
then sometimes those stories
become more visible.
551
00:26:02,829 --> 00:26:04,565
And so, that is the book
that I wrote
552
00:26:04,631 --> 00:26:05,966
called
Beyond Ethnic Loneliness,
553
00:26:06,033 --> 00:26:08,569
where I dive into some of these
issues regarding the racial
554
00:26:08,635 --> 00:26:10,704
and ethnic populations
and looking at social
555
00:26:10,771 --> 00:26:14,775
and cultural impacts of social
disconnection and belonging.
556
00:26:14,842 --> 00:26:16,577
And I wanted to mention
this other book too,
557
00:26:16,643 --> 00:26:18,679
See No Stranger
by Valarie Kaur,
558
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:22,015
who's a civil rights activist
and a filmmaker.
559
00:26:22,082 --> 00:26:25,052
And she also teaches that
See No Stranger
560
00:26:25,118 --> 00:26:28,555
is to look at anyone
and to say these words:
561
00:26:28,622 --> 00:26:31,091
"You are a part of me
I do not yet know.
562
00:26:31,158 --> 00:26:33,293
You are a part of me
I do not yet know."
563
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:36,396
And I actually quote that
in my book as well.
564
00:26:36,463 --> 00:26:38,365
So, let's look at globally.
565
00:26:38,432 --> 00:26:41,268
This was a study
that was done in 2017
566
00:26:41,335 --> 00:26:45,973
that involved 100 countries,
271,000 people,
567
00:26:46,039 --> 00:26:48,876
and they found a link
between close relationships
568
00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:50,177
and health and well-being.
569
00:26:50,244 --> 00:26:52,846
In other words, more friends
led to someone
570
00:26:52,913 --> 00:26:54,448
being healthier and happier.
571
00:26:54,515 --> 00:26:56,884
And friendship is crucial
in older age.
572
00:26:56,950 --> 00:26:58,218
Now, this might seem intuitive,
573
00:26:58,285 --> 00:27:00,187
but it was actually,
this was a research study
574
00:27:00,254 --> 00:27:04,725
that was done across many
different countries and cultures
575
00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:06,159
around the world,
and many people.
576
00:27:06,226 --> 00:27:10,430
So, we know that it was
significant and relevant.
577
00:27:10,497 --> 00:27:13,000
So, what that tells us is that
we are built for connection.
578
00:27:13,066 --> 00:27:17,237
And I'm gonna talk
a little bit more about that.
579
00:27:17,304 --> 00:27:19,439
So, loneliness isn't
necessarily,
580
00:27:19,506 --> 00:27:22,342
as we've learned,
about the absence of people.
581
00:27:22,409 --> 00:27:27,114
It is about the absence
of belonging or resonance.
582
00:27:27,181 --> 00:27:31,318
You can be surrounded
but still feel stranded.
583
00:27:31,385 --> 00:27:34,288
And that's what loneliness is.
584
00:27:34,922 --> 00:27:36,690
I wanted to mention social media
585
00:27:36,757 --> 00:27:39,626
because I did mention
this just a minute ago.
586
00:27:39,693 --> 00:27:42,963
So, social media is associated
with negative well-being,
587
00:27:43,030 --> 00:27:45,499
and face-to-face interaction
is associated
588
00:27:45,566 --> 00:27:47,401
with positive well-being.
589
00:27:47,467 --> 00:27:48,869
And I also have to mention
590
00:27:48,936 --> 00:27:52,506
that there is a new stranger in
the room, and that is called AI.
591
00:27:52,573 --> 00:27:55,108
Now, AI companionship,
maybe you've heard about this.
592
00:27:55,175 --> 00:27:56,476
This is a growing trend.
593
00:27:56,543 --> 00:27:59,446
This is a growing
concerning activity,
594
00:27:59,513 --> 00:28:00,614
especially among young people.
595
00:28:00,681 --> 00:28:03,450
But people of all ages,
even the elderly.
596
00:28:03,517 --> 00:28:05,586
Actually, in the last month,
there was an article,
597
00:28:05,652 --> 00:28:07,788
I think it might have been
in the New York Times,
598
00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:09,189
one of the major newspapers
599
00:28:09,256 --> 00:28:13,160
actually provided a dialogue
of a person and an AI chatbot,
600
00:28:13,227 --> 00:28:17,497
and it had led to a very drastic
ending for this individual.
601
00:28:17,564 --> 00:28:21,034
So, this is something of concern
because these AI chat bots,
602
00:28:21,101 --> 00:28:23,971
they are algorithms that learn
how to communicate with you.
603
00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:26,173
They may sound real,
but they're not.
604
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:27,441
They are not real.
605
00:28:27,508 --> 00:28:30,744
And what happens is vulnerable
people get attached
606
00:28:30,811 --> 00:28:33,480
and assign a sort of realness
to them
607
00:28:33,547 --> 00:28:38,185
that leads to some
very drastic consequences.
608
00:28:38,252 --> 00:28:40,287
But now, there's some hope
here on the horizon,
609
00:28:40,354 --> 00:28:44,024
and I wanted to share
that there was a lawsuit
610
00:28:44,091 --> 00:28:47,895
that was filed by a Kentucky
school district against Meta.
611
00:28:47,961 --> 00:28:50,731
And what they said was
that the companies
612
00:28:50,797 --> 00:28:52,599
are creating
addictive technologies,
613
00:28:52,666 --> 00:28:54,868
and it resulted
in significant cost
614
00:28:54,935 --> 00:28:57,137
for mental health counseling
for the schools.
615
00:28:57,204 --> 00:28:59,139
And just a day or two ago,
616
00:28:59,206 --> 00:29:03,443
Meta agreed to settle
out of court for $27 million.
617
00:29:03,510 --> 00:29:06,680
And this is one of many lawsuits
that is actually occurring
618
00:29:06,747 --> 00:29:09,883
against some of the
big social media companies,
619
00:29:09,950 --> 00:29:12,152
because people are starting
to take note
620
00:29:12,219 --> 00:29:15,789
and realizing that
these technologies are designed
621
00:29:15,856 --> 00:29:17,991
and created
for addictive behavior,
622
00:29:18,058 --> 00:29:21,728
and it's having
a very negative effects on some
623
00:29:21,795 --> 00:29:24,598
of our vulnerable populations.
624
00:29:26,700 --> 00:29:28,368
This was a new PBS documentary
625
00:29:28,435 --> 00:29:31,038
that I actually just
came across a few days ago
626
00:29:31,104 --> 00:29:32,506
called Wired for Connection.
627
00:29:32,573 --> 00:29:34,675
And it's another resource
to watch
628
00:29:34,741 --> 00:29:36,510
that talks about
social connection
629
00:29:36,577 --> 00:29:39,379
and the loneliness epidemic.
630
00:29:41,081 --> 00:29:42,749
So, what is the gift
of loneliness?
631
00:29:42,816 --> 00:29:44,685
Well, I think
when we feel lonely,
632
00:29:44,751 --> 00:29:47,287
I think it is a wake-up call,
the same way
633
00:29:47,354 --> 00:29:50,424
that pain can be a wake-up call
that something might be amiss.
634
00:29:50,490 --> 00:29:54,628
So, loneliness awakens us
to our need for each other.
635
00:29:54,695 --> 00:29:56,997
And the need
for human connection
636
00:29:57,064 --> 00:29:58,866
will always be with us.
637
00:29:58,932 --> 00:30:03,103
You know, no matter how
sophisticated a robot might get
638
00:30:03,170 --> 00:30:06,740
or an AI chatbot might get,
it is not a substitute
639
00:30:06,807 --> 00:30:08,942
for actual human-to-human
interaction,
640
00:30:09,009 --> 00:30:11,178
because there are certain
physiological
641
00:30:11,245 --> 00:30:13,881
and neurological things
happening in our brains
642
00:30:13,947 --> 00:30:16,450
physiologically
when we are with other people,
643
00:30:16,517 --> 00:30:20,854
such as mirroring
and other cognitive changes
644
00:30:21,722 --> 00:30:24,057
that are happening
that do not happen with robots
645
00:30:24,124 --> 00:30:28,462
or other screens
or other kinds of technology.
646
00:30:29,696 --> 00:30:33,901
So, loneliness is a solitary
feeling with a solution
647
00:30:33,967 --> 00:30:36,436
that requires community.
648
00:30:37,671 --> 00:30:39,206
All right, so now
for the second half,
649
00:30:39,273 --> 00:30:40,707
we're gonna
get into some how-tos.
650
00:30:40,774 --> 00:30:42,943
How can we better connect
with each other?
651
00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:46,480
And I'm going to give
some ideas here.
652
00:30:47,181 --> 00:30:49,283
How can we be seen,
how can we be known,
653
00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:51,285
and how can we see
and know others?
654
00:30:51,351 --> 00:30:53,854
So, I have 10 ways
to combat loneliness.
655
00:30:53,921 --> 00:30:56,890
And these are things that we
can do at an individual level.
656
00:30:56,957 --> 00:30:59,560
And number one here
is limit social media use,
657
00:30:59,626 --> 00:31:00,727
limit social media use.
658
00:31:00,794 --> 00:31:02,329
I think that is true
for all ages
659
00:31:02,396 --> 00:31:05,999
to think about what is
a healthy use of social media,
660
00:31:06,066 --> 00:31:09,102
and think also about AI
and our use of AI.
661
00:31:09,169 --> 00:31:12,673
And what is our philosophy
going to be about using AI
662
00:31:12,739 --> 00:31:14,374
in our own lives.
663
00:31:14,441 --> 00:31:16,076
Number two is volunteer.
664
00:31:16,143 --> 00:31:19,479
And studies have shown that
doing something for someone else
665
00:31:19,546 --> 00:31:20,981
actually boosts our mood.
666
00:31:21,048 --> 00:31:23,917
It helps us get connected
to the community at large.
667
00:31:23,984 --> 00:31:27,654
And it takes the focus
off of ourselves.
668
00:31:27,721 --> 00:31:30,224
Number three is cultivating
in-person connections.
669
00:31:30,290 --> 00:31:33,927
And that means be present,
showing up where people are.
670
00:31:33,994 --> 00:31:35,896
Join a club or group activity.
671
00:31:35,963 --> 00:31:37,798
It could be number two,
volunteering.
672
00:31:37,865 --> 00:31:39,967
But if you want to join
a club or activity,
673
00:31:40,033 --> 00:31:41,869
pick something
that you want to do.
674
00:31:41,935 --> 00:31:43,337
Pick something that you enjoy.
675
00:31:43,403 --> 00:31:45,806
And in that space,
you will meet other people
676
00:31:45,873 --> 00:31:47,808
who also enjoy that activity.
677
00:31:47,875 --> 00:31:51,144
And that's a great way
to start making connections.
678
00:31:51,211 --> 00:31:52,513
Now, sometimes people ask, well,
679
00:31:52,579 --> 00:31:54,214
who should take the initiative
in a conversation?
680
00:31:54,281 --> 00:31:57,284
And I say, well,
what I like to say is, well,
681
00:31:57,351 --> 00:31:58,986
if you put your shoes
on this morning
682
00:31:59,052 --> 00:32:00,888
and if you put your pants
on this morning,
683
00:32:00,954 --> 00:32:02,990
if you could dress yourself,
then it's on you.
684
00:32:03,056 --> 00:32:05,292
So, it's on me, it's on you,
it's on us.
685
00:32:05,359 --> 00:32:07,794
You know, it is on us
to take the initiative
686
00:32:07,861 --> 00:32:09,429
because we can't just wait
687
00:32:09,496 --> 00:32:11,131
for someone
to knock on our door, right?
688
00:32:11,198 --> 00:32:13,267
We need to take the step
and make sure
689
00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:15,569
that it's gonna happen.
690
00:32:15,869 --> 00:32:18,338
Number four is get active.
691
00:32:19,873 --> 00:32:23,076
So, research has shown that
movement actually improves mood
692
00:32:23,143 --> 00:32:25,812
and that that could
even be done in a group class,
693
00:32:25,879 --> 00:32:27,281
but individually too.
694
00:32:27,347 --> 00:32:28,815
It actually makes us feel better
695
00:32:28,882 --> 00:32:32,619
when we are getting active
and moving.
696
00:32:32,686 --> 00:32:34,688
Number five
is practicing gratitude.
697
00:32:34,755 --> 00:32:37,424
Now, research has shown
that keeping a gratitude list
698
00:32:37,491 --> 00:32:39,893
or keeping a gratitude journal
helps us
699
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:41,495
and makes us aware
of all the things
700
00:32:41,562 --> 00:32:43,564
that we have to be thankful for.
701
00:32:43,630 --> 00:32:46,667
It lifts depression
and it is a mood booster,
702
00:32:46,733 --> 00:32:48,101
and it is actually something
703
00:32:48,168 --> 00:32:52,673
that can help move us out of our
feeling of social disconnection.
704
00:32:52,739 --> 00:32:55,142
Nurturing something
like a pet or a plant
705
00:32:55,209 --> 00:33:00,447
has also been shown to improve
feelings of loneliness.
706
00:33:00,514 --> 00:33:02,683
Now, I put this here,
practicing healthy solitude,
707
00:33:02,749 --> 00:33:06,486
now, in a way of talking
about loneliness.
708
00:33:06,553 --> 00:33:09,423
But it is important because
we do need time and space
709
00:33:09,489 --> 00:33:11,925
to recharge,
to take a break from the barrage
710
00:33:11,992 --> 00:33:15,128
of noise and information
constantly coming at us.
711
00:33:15,195 --> 00:33:16,463
And research actually shows
712
00:33:16,530 --> 00:33:18,699
that things
like meditation or nature walks
713
00:33:18,765 --> 00:33:21,101
or creative pursuits, yoga,
714
00:33:21,168 --> 00:33:25,272
similar activities that help to
reset our minds and our bodies,
715
00:33:25,339 --> 00:33:27,674
and then to be ready
for social activity.
716
00:33:27,741 --> 00:33:29,710
So, practicing healthy solitude
717
00:33:29,776 --> 00:33:35,382
is actually an important part
of being socially connected.
718
00:33:35,449 --> 00:33:37,584
Now, don't discount
those loose connections
719
00:33:37,651 --> 00:33:39,386
and low stakes interactions.
720
00:33:39,453 --> 00:33:41,355
And I call them
grocery store conversations.
721
00:33:41,421 --> 00:33:45,192
So, these actually have
been proven, studies have shown
722
00:33:45,259 --> 00:33:48,395
that these actually affect
our sense of loneliness
723
00:33:48,462 --> 00:33:50,597
and social isolation.
724
00:33:51,164 --> 00:33:53,867
So, this is what I do
when I go to the grocery store.
725
00:33:53,934 --> 00:33:56,303
And I just might have
a conversation with somebody.
726
00:33:56,370 --> 00:33:57,604
I'm looking at the produce,
727
00:33:57,671 --> 00:33:59,973
and I might say something like,
you know,
728
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,609
"The tomatoes don't look that
great today," or just something.
729
00:34:02,676 --> 00:34:05,279
You know, just low stakes.
730
00:34:05,345 --> 00:34:06,547
That is just one example.
731
00:34:06,613 --> 00:34:08,248
And this could happen
in your neighborhood.
732
00:34:08,315 --> 00:34:11,351
This could happen at the store
when you're waiting in line.
733
00:34:11,418 --> 00:34:13,687
In the Netherlands,
they've actually created what
734
00:34:13,754 --> 00:34:16,690
are called chat checkout lanes
in grocery stores.
735
00:34:16,757 --> 00:34:20,427
And these chat checkout lanes
are actually meant for people
736
00:34:20,494 --> 00:34:22,563
who want to have
a conversation with somebody.
737
00:34:22,629 --> 00:34:23,964
They are designed for people
738
00:34:24,031 --> 00:34:26,300
who don't have anybody else
to talk to.
739
00:34:26,366 --> 00:34:28,702
And you know that you can
go into that chat checkout lane
740
00:34:28,769 --> 00:34:29,870
and have a discussion.
741
00:34:29,937 --> 00:34:31,638
The cashiers are trained
for that.
742
00:34:31,705 --> 00:34:33,640
And people in the line,
they know.
743
00:34:33,707 --> 00:34:34,842
They're not impatient
and getting ready.
744
00:34:34,908 --> 00:34:36,076
They know that they're in line
745
00:34:36,143 --> 00:34:39,479
and waiting to have
a conversation.
746
00:34:39,546 --> 00:34:41,348
But what do we have here
in America?
747
00:34:41,415 --> 00:34:42,950
We have self-checkouts.
748
00:34:43,016 --> 00:34:45,752
We have more and more
self-checkouts, right?
749
00:34:45,819 --> 00:34:49,857
Okay, so add social connection
to your calendar.
750
00:34:49,923 --> 00:34:52,259
I know for me, if I don't put it
in my calendar,
751
00:34:52,326 --> 00:34:54,194
something else will come
and take its place.
752
00:34:54,261 --> 00:34:56,230
We put other things
on our calendars.
753
00:34:56,296 --> 00:35:00,300
We put, you know, going to the
doctor, we put going to the gym
754
00:35:00,367 --> 00:35:02,369
or to the hair appointment
or whatever.
755
00:35:02,436 --> 00:35:04,938
But we need to put social
connection on our calendar.
756
00:35:05,005 --> 00:35:08,642
And that means being
intentional about doing that
757
00:35:08,709 --> 00:35:10,377
in our own lives.
758
00:35:12,513 --> 00:35:14,014
Number 10 is ask for help.
759
00:35:14,081 --> 00:35:15,182
Get support.
760
00:35:15,249 --> 00:35:17,918
If you need help or support,
say yes.
761
00:35:17,985 --> 00:35:19,853
Asking for help
is not a sign of weakness.
762
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,289
It is a way of saying yes
to connection.
763
00:35:22,356 --> 00:35:26,326
Talk to a trusted person, talk
to a mental health provider,
764
00:35:26,393 --> 00:35:28,128
normalize talking about it.
765
00:35:28,195 --> 00:35:30,130
Because one of the things
that I want to do
766
00:35:30,197 --> 00:35:32,699
is to destigmatize
the talk about loneliness.
767
00:35:32,766 --> 00:35:34,701
With one in three
and one in four of us
768
00:35:34,768 --> 00:35:36,837
experiencing it,
it's everywhere.
769
00:35:36,904 --> 00:35:39,806
And so, talking about it
normalizes it.
770
00:35:39,873 --> 00:35:42,809
And if we wanna talk about it,
we can just admit,
771
00:35:42,876 --> 00:35:45,779
"I'm feeling lonely
and I want to talk to somebody."
772
00:35:45,846 --> 00:35:49,116
So, those are 10 things
that we can do on our own.
773
00:35:49,183 --> 00:35:52,452
And something that we can do is
just kind of do a social audit.
774
00:35:52,519 --> 00:35:55,355
Social fitness is the ability
to maintain
775
00:35:55,422 --> 00:35:58,125
and build quality relationships.
776
00:35:58,192 --> 00:36:01,328
Social risk refers to kind of
the threats that we perceive,
777
00:36:01,395 --> 00:36:03,697
such as risk of rejection
or judgment.
778
00:36:03,764 --> 00:36:04,865
But doing a social audit
779
00:36:04,932 --> 00:36:06,967
helps us to kind of determine
where are we.
780
00:36:07,034 --> 00:36:08,368
We can do an internal self-audit
781
00:36:08,435 --> 00:36:10,470
and kind of figure out
where are we
782
00:36:10,537 --> 00:36:13,473
in terms of the continuum
of social connection,
783
00:36:13,540 --> 00:36:16,643
and is there anything
we need to change.
784
00:36:16,710 --> 00:36:19,413
The Surgeon General has a few
tips for social connection.
785
00:36:19,479 --> 00:36:21,982
It's called
the 5-for-5 Challenge.
786
00:36:22,049 --> 00:36:23,550
It is also,
it's available online.
787
00:36:23,617 --> 00:36:26,253
The irony is I have to share
that it's available online.
788
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,188
And then, this other book called
789
00:36:28,255 --> 00:36:29,723
The Art and Science
of Connection,
790
00:36:29,790 --> 00:36:31,525
written by a social scientist,
791
00:36:31,592 --> 00:36:33,560
this is another challenge
that you can try.
792
00:36:33,627 --> 00:36:35,796
It's called the 5:3:1 Challenge.
793
00:36:35,863 --> 00:36:37,397
If you are looking
for some frameworks
794
00:36:37,464 --> 00:36:41,201
of how can I add this,
these are a couple of ideas.
795
00:36:41,268 --> 00:36:42,636
So, we've talked a little bit
796
00:36:42,703 --> 00:36:44,271
about what we can do
as individuals.
797
00:36:44,338 --> 00:36:45,873
And I want to shift a little bit
798
00:36:45,939 --> 00:36:48,208
to our systems
and infrastructure.
799
00:36:48,275 --> 00:36:51,578
So, there are things
that happen at a broader level,
800
00:36:51,645 --> 00:36:54,314
at a community level
and a systems level
801
00:36:54,381 --> 00:36:55,949
that can promote
social connection.
802
00:36:56,016 --> 00:36:57,684
And these are just a few.
803
00:36:57,751 --> 00:36:59,286
I'm just gonna hit
on five of these,
804
00:36:59,353 --> 00:37:00,754
but there's many, many more.
805
00:37:00,821 --> 00:37:05,292
Social prescribing,
the UCLA Loneliness Scale,
806
00:37:05,359 --> 00:37:07,794
urban planning and urban design,
807
00:37:07,861 --> 00:37:10,130
the social connection
community toolkit,
808
00:37:10,197 --> 00:37:12,633
and we're gonna talk about
social capital.
809
00:37:12,699 --> 00:37:14,635
All right, so the first thing
I'm gonna talk about
810
00:37:14,701 --> 00:37:16,203
is social prescribing.
811
00:37:16,270 --> 00:37:18,238
Now, I'm gonna give
an example of arts.
812
00:37:18,305 --> 00:37:20,440
But basically,
social prescribing is,
813
00:37:20,507 --> 00:37:23,944
what if your doctor could
prescribe to you an art class,
814
00:37:24,011 --> 00:37:27,648
a trip to the museum, like
the Museum of Wisconsin Art,
815
00:37:27,714 --> 00:37:32,186
or tickets to a park or garden
to help improve your health?
816
00:37:32,252 --> 00:37:33,620
So, this may sound
unconventional,
817
00:37:33,687 --> 00:37:36,523
but this actually started
in the UK decades ago.
818
00:37:36,590 --> 00:37:39,459
So, doctors prescribing
social connection,
819
00:37:39,526 --> 00:37:44,331
but also the arts as a way
of improving mental health.
820
00:37:44,398 --> 00:37:46,533
So, it is common, more common
821
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,569
in other countries,
starting to pick up steam here.
822
00:37:48,635 --> 00:37:52,139
And there was actually a project
in New Jersey called ArtsRX.
823
00:37:52,206 --> 00:37:54,041
It was covered by insurance.
824
00:37:54,107 --> 00:37:57,611
And so, doctors there were
able to prescribe arts
825
00:37:57,678 --> 00:38:00,214
that were available
in the community in New Jersey
826
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,517
for people who were
in the program.
827
00:38:04,585 --> 00:38:07,688
Now, I wanted to mention
the UCLA Loneliness Scale.
828
00:38:07,754 --> 00:38:09,590
And there are three questions
on this.
829
00:38:09,656 --> 00:38:12,860
This is a scale that
was researched and developed,
830
00:38:12,926 --> 00:38:14,261
research-backed scale.
831
00:38:14,328 --> 00:38:15,662
And there's three questions.
832
00:38:15,729 --> 00:38:19,933
Now, these are being used,
and clinicians are using them,
833
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,469
doctors, nurses,
and other health care providers.
834
00:38:22,536 --> 00:38:25,439
So, you may have seen these
in various places.
835
00:38:25,506 --> 00:38:26,940
And there's three questions.
836
00:38:27,007 --> 00:38:29,543
How often do you feel
that you lack companionship?
837
00:38:29,610 --> 00:38:31,378
How often do you feel left out?
838
00:38:31,445 --> 00:38:33,647
How often do you feel
isolated from others?
839
00:38:33,714 --> 00:38:34,948
And then that's the scoring.
840
00:38:35,015 --> 00:38:37,017
If you have, you know,
nine points,
841
00:38:37,084 --> 00:38:38,418
that's the highest.
842
00:38:38,485 --> 00:38:40,621
And that's that's a sign that
you might be feeling lonely.
843
00:38:40,687 --> 00:38:42,689
Now, this is a scale
that can be used
844
00:38:42,756 --> 00:38:45,626
to measure quickly
the sense of loneliness
845
00:38:45,692 --> 00:38:47,928
that we can implement
at a structural level, say,
846
00:38:47,995 --> 00:38:49,429
at health care systems level.
847
00:38:49,496 --> 00:38:52,232
The actual full survey is
about 20 questions.
848
00:38:52,299 --> 00:38:55,936
So, this little survey to avoid
survey fatigue is another,
849
00:38:56,003 --> 00:38:59,806
is a way, an option
of using this to gauge the level
850
00:38:59,873 --> 00:39:04,077
of social connection
in a particular individual.
851
00:39:04,144 --> 00:39:06,947
And I wanted to mention
just briefly about urban spaces
852
00:39:07,014 --> 00:39:08,315
and urban design.
853
00:39:08,382 --> 00:39:11,118
You know, the way that we design
our spaces and communities
854
00:39:11,185 --> 00:39:12,853
makes a difference, right?
855
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:14,955
If you're living
in a downtown area
856
00:39:15,022 --> 00:39:18,559
that has sidewalks and parks
and there are places to gather,
857
00:39:18,625 --> 00:39:20,594
that is an example
of urban design,
858
00:39:20,661 --> 00:39:25,232
where people are then invited
to socialize and have community.
859
00:39:25,299 --> 00:39:27,434
But if the place is
not designed in such a way,
860
00:39:27,501 --> 00:39:29,736
then it's much harder
to make that happen.
861
00:39:29,803 --> 00:39:32,673
So, urban planners can
think about social connection
862
00:39:32,739 --> 00:39:34,174
in terms of their design.
863
00:39:34,241 --> 00:39:37,578
But even for people
who plan events, you know,
864
00:39:37,644 --> 00:39:39,213
the way that we design,
865
00:39:39,279 --> 00:39:40,814
that we arrange
our chairs and tables,
866
00:39:40,881 --> 00:39:43,317
for example,
if you have a table,
867
00:39:43,383 --> 00:39:45,586
circular tables with circles,
868
00:39:45,652 --> 00:39:47,821
that's more conducive
to conversation,
869
00:39:47,888 --> 00:39:50,624
say, than if people are
just lined up on a wall.
870
00:39:50,691 --> 00:39:55,095
So, the way that we design
spaces is important.
871
00:39:55,162 --> 00:39:56,697
Now, the Foundation
for Social Connection,
872
00:39:56,763 --> 00:39:57,965
which is a nonprofit,
873
00:39:58,031 --> 00:40:01,034
has developed a toolkit
actually as an action guide
874
00:40:01,101 --> 00:40:04,738
for communities to use to build
socially connected communities.
875
00:40:04,805 --> 00:40:06,540
This is available
for free online.
876
00:40:06,607 --> 00:40:07,941
It's an interactive guide,
877
00:40:08,008 --> 00:40:10,377
and communities have
been actually using these steps
878
00:40:10,444 --> 00:40:13,380
to help them to learn how
they can implement strategies
879
00:40:13,447 --> 00:40:16,517
to make their community
more friendly,
880
00:40:16,583 --> 00:40:19,820
more prone
for social connection.
881
00:40:21,455 --> 00:40:22,990
So, social capital.
882
00:40:23,056 --> 00:40:26,493
So, the social, the community
capitals framework is actually
883
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:28,829
an evaluation tool
that's used to understand
884
00:40:28,896 --> 00:40:30,964
how communities thrive and grow.
885
00:40:31,031 --> 00:40:34,401
And social capital is one of
the seven community capitals
886
00:40:34,468 --> 00:40:36,236
that we look at
to look at the health
887
00:40:36,303 --> 00:40:38,005
and well-being of a community.
888
00:40:38,071 --> 00:40:40,474
And social capital is
really the glue,
889
00:40:40,541 --> 00:40:45,012
the glue of the community
that holds a community together.
890
00:40:45,078 --> 00:40:47,948
And there's three levels
of connection in these.
891
00:40:48,015 --> 00:40:50,484
There's bonding,
which is the close relationships
892
00:40:50,551 --> 00:40:52,786
with family and friends.
893
00:40:52,853 --> 00:40:53,954
There's bridging,
894
00:40:54,021 --> 00:40:56,857
which are relationships
among acquaintances.
895
00:40:56,924 --> 00:40:59,459
And then there's linkages, which
are relationships to people
896
00:40:59,526 --> 00:41:01,428
that are in leadership
and power.
897
00:41:01,495 --> 00:41:05,532
And so, when all of these
are strong, the strong networks,
898
00:41:05,599 --> 00:41:09,269
they help individuals
secure jobs and mentorships.
899
00:41:09,336 --> 00:41:11,538
There's collective
problem solving.
900
00:41:11,605 --> 00:41:14,575
Communities with high social
capitals can collaborate better,
901
00:41:14,641 --> 00:41:17,044
like on issues such
for fundraising,
902
00:41:17,110 --> 00:41:20,681
neighborhood cleanups,
or disaster recovery.
903
00:41:20,747 --> 00:41:23,150
It actually improves
the overall mental
904
00:41:23,217 --> 00:41:26,253
and physical health
of a community
905
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,655
that has high social capital.
906
00:41:28,722 --> 00:41:30,290
And so, I just wanted to mention
907
00:41:30,357 --> 00:41:32,392
that that is one
of the characteristics
908
00:41:32,459 --> 00:41:34,494
of a healthy community.
909
00:41:37,464 --> 00:41:38,765
So, what have we learned?
910
00:41:38,832 --> 00:41:41,368
What have we learned so far
about the loneliness epidemic
911
00:41:41,435 --> 00:41:43,403
and social connection?
912
00:41:43,470 --> 00:41:47,341
We have learned that we have
substituted phones for people.
913
00:41:47,407 --> 00:41:50,177
We have learned that though
we are more connected digitally
914
00:41:50,244 --> 00:41:52,846
and electronically than
at any other time in history,
915
00:41:52,913 --> 00:41:54,848
that technology is
no substitute
916
00:41:54,915 --> 00:41:58,752
for human-to-human interaction
and relationships.
917
00:41:58,819 --> 00:42:01,588
And I love these quotes
because I wanted to share them
918
00:42:01,655 --> 00:42:05,259
because I think the first one
by Maya Angelou,
919
00:42:05,325 --> 00:42:08,862
it says, "I long, as does
every human being, to be at home
920
00:42:08,929 --> 00:42:11,031
wherever I find myself."
921
00:42:11,098 --> 00:42:13,333
And to me,
that speaks about loneliness,
922
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,836
that speaks
about the loneliness epidemic.
923
00:42:15,903 --> 00:42:19,439
Because when we feel at home,
that we feel that we belong,
924
00:42:19,506 --> 00:42:22,743
and we feel that we're
among people that know us
925
00:42:22,809 --> 00:42:24,444
and we are known.
926
00:42:24,511 --> 00:42:26,113
And I just love that quote.
927
00:42:26,180 --> 00:42:30,684
I wanted to share this other one
that she wrote,
928
00:42:30,751 --> 00:42:32,452
and it goes like this.
929
00:42:32,519 --> 00:42:34,321
"Alone, all alone.
930
00:42:35,222 --> 00:42:39,693
Nobody, but nobody
can make it out here alone."
931
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:42,196
And to me,
that speaks to social connection
932
00:42:42,262 --> 00:42:44,598
because we need each other.
933
00:42:44,665 --> 00:42:47,701
We can't build a strong
community all by ourselves.
934
00:42:47,768 --> 00:42:50,604
We can't build social capital
by ourselves.
935
00:42:50,671 --> 00:42:54,041
We can't be lonely and fix
loneliness all by ourselves.
936
00:42:54,107 --> 00:42:56,643
Because social media and screens
937
00:42:56,710 --> 00:43:00,848
are not a replacement
for human-to-human interaction.
938
00:43:00,914 --> 00:43:03,150
The more--
We are tempted
939
00:43:03,217 --> 00:43:07,387
because we have the tools
available to be isolated.
940
00:43:07,454 --> 00:43:10,023
We can sit at home,
especially for people who--
941
00:43:10,090 --> 00:43:12,426
Workplace loneliness is
also a thing, by the way.
942
00:43:12,492 --> 00:43:15,929
But for people
who work remotely,
943
00:43:15,996 --> 00:43:17,698
if you are working remotely,
944
00:43:17,764 --> 00:43:19,399
you can order
your groceries online,
945
00:43:19,466 --> 00:43:21,168
do all your shopping online,
946
00:43:21,235 --> 00:43:24,104
you can pretty much never leave
the house, right?
947
00:43:24,171 --> 00:43:26,607
So, we can be tempted
to do that,
948
00:43:26,673 --> 00:43:30,677
but that is not healthy
for our society.
949
00:43:30,744 --> 00:43:34,548
And I wanted to share this
quote, too, by Mother Teresa.
950
00:43:34,615 --> 00:43:39,820
And she said, "The most terrible
poverty is loneliness
951
00:43:39,887 --> 00:43:42,489
"and the feeling
of being unloved.
952
00:43:42,556 --> 00:43:45,659
"We can cure physical diseases
with medicine,
953
00:43:45,726 --> 00:43:47,294
"but the only cure
for loneliness,
954
00:43:47,361 --> 00:43:50,097
despair, and hopelessness
is love."
955
00:43:50,163 --> 00:43:51,965
Mother Teresa.
956
00:43:52,032 --> 00:43:55,469
So, the solution for loneliness
is each other.
957
00:43:55,536 --> 00:43:57,171
It's community.
958
00:43:57,237 --> 00:44:00,707
And so, I just wanted to end
with that,
959
00:44:01,475 --> 00:44:04,778
and I wanted to say
thank you to UW Badger Talks
960
00:44:04,845 --> 00:44:06,780
for this presentation,
961
00:44:06,847 --> 00:44:11,652
and the Wisconsin PBS,
and the Museum of Wisconsin Art.
962
00:44:11,718 --> 00:44:13,487
This is my information.
963
00:44:13,554 --> 00:44:14,655
Feel free to reach out.
964
00:44:14,721 --> 00:44:15,822
My email is there.
965
00:44:15,889 --> 00:44:17,224
I would love to hear from you.
966
00:44:17,291 --> 00:44:20,194
I want to hear your stories
about social connection
967
00:44:20,260 --> 00:44:23,931
and the loneliness epidemic,
strategies that you found,
968
00:44:23,997 --> 00:44:26,767
ideas that you have, and to hear
about the work that you do.
969
00:44:26,834 --> 00:44:30,204
'Cause I work
in community engagement.
970
00:44:30,270 --> 00:44:32,906
That QR code takes you
to my website,
971
00:44:32,973 --> 00:44:36,210
so feel free, or
connect with me on LinkedIn.
972
00:44:36,276 --> 00:44:37,845
So, thank you so much
for having me.
973
00:44:37,911 --> 00:44:41,181
It's been a pleasure
to be with you.
974
00:44:41,248 --> 00:44:43,217
[audience applauds]