- Adrienne Marioles: So crazy looking at all these
old pictures.
I'm an only child of divorced parents.
So I always say it was my mom and I against the world.
All I can really remember about my mom
is just my mom with the disease.
So looking at the pictures helps to bring me back
to what life was like before the disease.
[gentle music]
I was a young 29-year-old living in New York City,
and Mom told me she had been diagnosed
with Parkinson's disease.
One minute, I'm hanging out with my friends
and having a great time, and then the next minute,
flying home to Florida, setting up appointments
to go tour assisted living facilities.
As her disease progressed, the caregiving duties intesified.
I'm seeing all of my friends being able
to just live their lives however they wanna live it.
That led to so much resentment towards my mom.
I would often say, "I just wish I had my old mom back."
Sometimes, if she was lucid enough,
she was like, "I wish you had your old mom too."
So...
A light bulb went on one day.
I just shifted my mindset to, "Don't be mad at Mom.
Be mad at the disease."
Something dawned on me, like, "Adrienne,
you're here to spend time with your mom."
And I really started trying to just be present with her.
Oftentimes, I would get in bed with my mom,
and just lay my head on her chest.
Having that embrace meant the world to me.
While caregiving, my time was very precious.
I still had that dream of getting married
and having a family one day.
I knew that if I was really gonna date somebody,
they need to be a quality person
because that would mean having to take extra time
away from my mom.
I wouldn't talk about my mom when I would go on dates.
Ian was different.
One night, Ian stayed over.
I get a call from my mom's assisted living
that they're sending her out to the hospital.
I said, "Don't wait for me.
"Just go home.
"I don't even know what time I'm gonna be back
from the hospital."
I think I came home at 6:00 in the morning,
and he was still there.
Hey, Bells. - Hi.
- How was school? - Good.
- Adrienne: Bella was eight years old
the first time we met.
She's an amazing kid and we developed this close bond.
Should we put this on the fridge?
- No.
- My mom passed away in August of 2020.
I felt like I lost my family
'cause my mom was, like, my family.
This is my new family.
That really helped my transition from caregiver
into mama bear of the household.
As my mom was getting closer to passing,
she would say, "Does Ian treat you well?
"Does he love you?
"Like, do you love him?
Are you happy?"
I truly feel like my mom waited until she knew...
...that I was gonna have somebody in my life
before she passed away.
Because she didn't wanna leave this earth
thinking that I would be alone.
Why are you glad I'm here?
- 'Cause I miss you. - Adrienne: Why?
- 'Cause I love you.
- And one of the best things I got out of my care journey
was time.
Time with my mom.
I would've never had this much time with my mom
if she would've never gotten sick.
I miss my mom.
There's no love like the love of your mom.
[gentle music]
- Announcer: This Caregiving story was made possible
with the support of these generous funders.