- Bobbi Cote-Whitacre: Do you remember what it was like
when we were 19 and totally in love and couldn't tell anyone?
- Lynn Weaver: My father was everything to me.
I live my life trying to be half the man my father was.
- Carly Dreher: Do you have any regrets, Grandpa?
- Lyle Link: No, lived a wonderful life.
I want you to do the same thing.
Live with courage.
[cheerful music]
[upbeat music]
- Benji Isay: I just start by asking you
one of the questions on my list, right?
- Dave Isay: Anything you want.
- Benji: Okay, so what were you like as a kid?
- Dave: I was pretty weird.
I didn't want to do anything but watch TV,
and I spent a lot of time by myself.
But I always liked talking to older people,
like the waitress at the luncheonette near my house
or my grandparents.
I remember when I was just a few years older than you,
your great-grandpa Abe and your great-grandma Rose
and her sisters came over to our apartment for Thanksgiving.
After dinner, I found this tape recorder lying around.
And somehow I got the idea to interview them.
I didn't have a clue what I was doing,
but I recorded their voices and stories.
And I saw how much they loved being listened to.
A few years later, your great-grandpa
and your great-grandma and all of her sisters passed away.
But I remembered I'd made that tape, so I went looking for it
but I couldn't find it.
Even now when I go to your grandma's house,
I go looking for that tape, just hoping it's gonna turn up.
- Benji: I don't get it.
Why do you keep looking for it?
- Dave: Because it would make me so happy
to hear those voices again.
And I'd love to play that tape for you.
You know, doing that recording really taught me something:
You can find the most amazing stories from regular people.
All you have to do is ask them about their lives and listen.
- Benji: Really, that's it?
- Dave: Yeah, it's simple.
We can learn so much about the people all around us,
even about the people we already know
just by taking the time to have a conversation.
And if you pay just a little attention,
you'll find wisdom and poetry in their words.
- Benji: Do people really want you to ask about their lives?
- Dave: Yeah, they do.
Most people love to be listened to because it tells them
how much their lives matter.
All you need to ask are questions like,
"Who was the most important person in your life?"
or "What are you proudest of?"
Really, listening closely is simple.
When you're curious, treat people with respect
and have just a little courage to ask the important questions.
Great things are gonna happen.
[bright music]
- James Ransom: Let's talk about Miss Devine.
- Cherie Johnson: Miss Lizzie Devine.
- James: Miss Devine was a wiry lady.
She wore summer dresses, she had a bandana and a straw hat,
and she was the only person I knew that had more power
than my grandmother.
- Cherie: She wasn't a mean person; she was stern.
- James: Stern, yes, very stern.
- Cherie: And you know, when she said something,
she meant exactly what she said. - James: Right.
In fact, she was our Sunday school teacher.
The only thing that would keep you from going to Sunday school,
you had to have one foot on a banana peel
and the other in the grave. - James: Absolutely.
- Cherie: That's the only thing. - James: There's no excuse.
- Cherie: You had to go. - James: Had to go.
- Cherie: One of the things that you prayed for
when you were in Miss Devine's class
was "Lord, please let me get old enough
to get out of this class!" [James laughs]
She did the catechism: "Who made you?
"God.
"Where is God?
Everywhere!"
She went through and we said,
"Oh, Lord, have mercy, please." [James laughs]
- James: This Miss Devine would come in on Sunday mornings
to take us to Sunday school.
And when I saw her come, Cherie,
I thought the leaves would be blowing off the trees
and the sky would go black and the clouds would come in.
And she come in the house one morning
and say, "Good morning, children."
And everybody, my mother on down, said,
"Good morning, Miss Devine."
And she says, "It's time to go to Sunday school
this morning, children."
I said, "Miss Devine, I can't go to Sunday school today."
She said, "No?"
I said, "No, ma'am."
She says, "Why not?"
I said, "My mother didn't bring enough clothes for me
to go to Sunday school this morning."
She said, "Oh, no?"
I said, "No, ma'am."
She said, "What do you have,
what kind of clothes do you have?"
I said, "All I have, Miss Devine, are my pajamas
and my tennis shoes."
She said, "Well, that's okay, honey,
put your tennis shoes on; we'll go to Sunday school."
I looked at my mother and she looked away, Cherie.
Miss Devine made me walk two blocks in my pajamas
and my tennis shoes.
I had to sit in church, with my friends, during Sunday school,
in my pajamas and my tennis shoes.
I'm gonna tell you, Cherie, I never lied again.
- Cherie: Miss Devine was always there
to take care of us. - James: Right.
- Cherie: But when Miss Devine braided your hair,
you eyes went up like this. [James laughs]
You had to sleep on soft pillows because I mean,
boy, she had it tight. - James: Mm-hmm.
- Cherie: And Miss Devine had mango trees all over her yard.
But Miss Devine never brought you a mango until it was rotten.
[James laughing]
It would smell like liquor. [James laughing]
That's when she brought you the mango.
- James: But you know what?
That's the kind of stuff that we got growing up.
And I'll never forget that.
[gentle music]
- Noe Rueda: My mother, she would actually make
under $8,000 a year,
and if she reached the $8,000, she would actually be happy
that she made that much.
So I would literally go outside my house,
put all my products there and sell 'em.
I didn't make much.
I made, what, 20 bucks a week?
But for a eight-year-old, you're a millionaire
with that kind of money.
- Alex Fernandez: That's a lot of comic books and stuff, yeah.
- Noe: But the thing is, I wasn't like other kids.
I didn't go buy Pokémon cards.
The little money I made, I gave it to my mom.
The first time, I remember she was cooking.
And I came up to her and I told her,
"Mom, I know you don't have money,
so here's 15 bucks I made."
She turned off the stove.
She turned around, started crying, and hugged me.
From that point on, I just dedicated on
getting money for my family.
- Alex: How did you make that money?
- Noe: First of all, the one thing
that comes to people's mind in a bad neighborhood is drugs.
But I did not sell drugs.
The reason for that is, first of all, I know it's wrong.
Secondly, I picture my mom, how disappointed she'll be
if she finds that out.
So I actually started helping on a construction site.
And this was in fifth grade.
It was bad on my bones.
I like, I have bad shoulders, bad knees
from all the stuff I was carrying.
- Alex: When you were younger, did you realize kinda like,
"Hey, this isn't normal,"
or "This isn't what other people go through?"
- Noe: Well, I always knew I was poor.
But I remember one time, in particular.
My shoes were all scraped up, so I got paint
and I painted 'em white.
Some kid fell and tripped in front of my shoes and noticed.
And he pointed it out and laughed.
And that's when it hit me really hard, like,
I'm actually poorer than I thought.
- Alex: How's your first semester of college been?
- Noe: Things are great.
I just think about it, like, being the first one
to go to college in my whole family of over fifty of us.
That's my biggest motivation.
- Alex: I'm really proud of you that you went this far.
And I just want to have you come back in like 10 years
dressed really sharp.
You know, in like, a suit. - Noe: Nice shoes.
- Alex: Nice shoes, and finally have a pair of shoes
that you haven't painted.
And I want you to get everything you've ever wanted.
[bright music]
- Gweneviere Mann: I always have a note card in my pocket
that tells me what the date is.
And I have to write down when I eat meals
because sometimes I might eat lunch three times
because I don't remember that I ate already.
The doctors say the brain can continue healing
up to two years, but whatever is not back by that point
is not likely to ever come back.
- Yasir Salem: So you had your surgery
in November of 2008, right?
- Right, and so I'm gonna have to live
the rest of my life this way.
And the thing that scares me the most is, like, the thought that
I will wake up one day and I'll be 80 years old,
and I won't remember the last 40 years of my life.
- Yasir: Do you remember when you first came out of surgery?
- Gwen: I know that I used to always think
that I was in San Francisco.
- Yasir: What are those things called, do you remember?
- Gwen: Confabulations. - Yasir: Yeah.
- Gwen: Yeah, do you remember another confabulation
that I used to have?
- Yasir: You used to think that your co-worker, Barbara,
was your mom.
- Gwen: Oh, that's right. [laughing]
- Yasir: Even though she's a completely different race
than you. - Gwen: That's funny, yeah.
- Yasir: There was one point where you were confused
'cause you thought we had broken up, and I would ask you, like,
"Why do you think you're staying at my place?"
She's like, "Well, we're just cool like that."
- Gwen: Yeah, sorry about that. - Yasir: That's all right.
- Gwen: And after all you'd been doing for me.
- Yasir: Thankfully you got over that.
- Gwen: I'm thankful for that as well.
- Yasir: So is there any positive things that
have come out of losing your memory
that you can look back on?
- Gwen: Well, I ran the New York City marathon with you,
my boyfriend.
And one of the things that I asked you was to help me
as a trick to not let me look at any of the mile markers
along the way.
And if I asked you how long we'd been running,
to always tell me 10 or 15 minutes. [laughing]
And it really worked like a charm.
And when we got to the end, you and I were running
across the finish line, and as if on cue,
I started crying my eyes out 'cause I was so happy.
You know, I have spent a lot of days since my injury
comparing myself to what I used to be
and feeling sad about the things that I've lost,
but doing the marathon shows me that
I still have a lot left in me.
[gentle music]
- Eddie Lanier: My daddy was elected mayor twice.
And I used to walk down the streets holding his hand.
Everybody'd stop and pat me on the head and say,
"How you doin', little mayor?" [laughs]
Yeah, I had a wonderful daddy.
And when I was about 14, he said,
"Son, look, you come from a long line of chronic alcoholics.
"I'm an alcoholic just waiting for the first drink,
and I refuse to take it."
He said, "If you do, you'll get away with it for a while,
but it'll destroy your life and probably kill you."
He said, "I want you to remember that."
And I said, "Okay Daddy, I'll give it serious thought."
I gave it enough thought that that Halloween,
I went trick-or-treating with my buddy,
and we passed a horseshoe of frat houses.
Those kids knew who I was.
Everybody knew who my daddy was.
And one of them frat boys said, "Hey, you ever had a drink?"
And I said, "No, I hadn't."
He said, "Now you drink this.
"It's gonna burn.
You're gonna like this."
I never felt so good in my life.
As long as I had alcohol in my system,
I was what I always wanted to be:
a self-confident, good-looking, witty human being.
And it worked very well for 40-some more years of my life.
- David Wright: Must take a lot of self-discipline
to turn around.
- Eddie: Well, it took more than that.
I had just been released
from my 28th treatment for alcoholism.
The doctor told me when I left, said, "I'll give you two weeks
and I'll read your name in the obituaries."
So I went to the cemetery where my mother and daddy were buried
and let 'em know that I'm sober.
Ain't gonna die this way.
So then I came on down to a place I knew
where there's an exit ramp where cars come around.
I held a sign there, and that's where I met you.
Every time you came by, you'd stick out a $2 bill
and a can of tuna fish.
It was New Year's Eve and I had nowhere to go.
Couldn't drink, everybody's partying.
And you walked on over and said, "You remember me?"
I said, "Yeah, you're the $2 bill man."
You said, "I'm gonna take you home with me
"for a New Year's Eve party.
How would you like that?"
I said, "I don't think that would work, sir.
"You got a wife?
"She's gonna have a lot to say to you
about bringing a homeless, smelly, old man home with you."
You said, "My wife will receive you well."
I went to your home and I had a shower
and you gave me some clean clothes.
And we sat down at the table and I told you some stories about
who I really was and who my daddy was.
There was a lot more to me than you might imagine.
- David: I hope I was a little bit of a help along your path.
- Eddie: Well you know, David,
without your kindness, and of your family and all,
I don't know if I would say I'd have gone back drinking again,
but I say, it would've been rough.
[gentle music]
- Scott Miller: When did you and Dad decide to adopt?
- Jackie Miller: We always knew from the time we first married,
and we must have talked about it even before that.
You know, we are very methodical people. [Scott laughs]
Now, this is something you don't know.
When I was 17, I got pregnant.
And the light of my life is my father,
but he gave me 24 hours to leave town.
And I gave this baby up for adoption
and said at that time that I will adopt a child
when I'm able to take care of a child.
- Scott: Wow.
I just wasn't ready for that. - Jackie: I'm sure.
So many times I would think,
"Gosh, is this the time to tell him?"
But I'm 73 now, and it just seems like
such a big secret.
- Scott: Well, I guess, speaking of secrets.
When I came out, I remember kind of saying to you,
"Hey, Mom, I want to talk to you about something,"
and I stumbled just telling you I was gay.
And the first thing out of your mouth was,
"I love you and I'm your mother."
- Jackie: By that time, I knew.
There wasn't even any question in my mind.
It's just...you!
And I couldn't be happier if you're happy with your life.
Plus, you help me with my hair sometimes. [both laughing]
- Scott: Yeah, it comes with its perks. [laughing]
- Jackie: There's no downside for me.
- Scott: It's kind of funny, I think where you're concerned,
I try not to be very emotional.
I worry that you'll never know just how deeply I love you
and how scary it is for me sometimes
to imagine life without you.
- Jackie: That's something I can't make better for you.
And I don't doubt it'll be tough, but you'll be okay.
The thing that's been wonderful, sweetheart,
is that we spend a lot of time together
and we haven't missed much.
[gentle music]
- Kay Wang: I wasn't very nice.
If I make a mistake, my mother, she make me apologize.
In our custom, when you apologize to your mother,
you have to bring a cup of tea and say, "I'm sorry."
But I purposely dropped that hot cup of tea
on my mother's lap.
And I wasn't a good student.
I always lie to get out of school
because lots of boyfriend after me.
That time I was still young.
I was not bad looking then.
So what else?
Hurry, hurry.
I want to go home.
- Chen Wang: How'd you meet Grandpa?
- Kay: I was a training nurse in a hospital.
He was there for hemorrhoids operation.
So when your Grandpa see me,
your Grandpa keep on asking me to get married.
And I said, "I don't like you.
You have bald head." [Cheng laughing]
I didn't like him because he's ugly.
But one thing about your grandpa, he's very smart.
That's it; no more question. - Chen: Grandma!
- Cheng Wang: Just a couple more questions?
Short one. - Cheng: Short ones.
- Chen: Short ones.
Tell me about working at Bloomingdale's.
What did you do?
- Kay: You know what I do.
I'm not gonna tell you.
- Chen: No, you have-- you have to talk about it.
- Kay: I am a detective. [Chen and Cheng laugh]
I got the very famous designer.
I better not mention her name.
She stole a dress, $3,000-some.
So I walk out the store.
I said, "Would you like to pay me that dress?"
She said, "Do you know who I am?"
I said, "Yeah, you're a thief!" [Chen and Cheng laugh]
So that's my life.
- Chen: Do you have any regrets? - Kay: No!
Why should I regret?
No.
I think I'm old enough to do what I would like.
And that's it.
[bright piano music]
- Cheng: You know, there's a line
between independent and stubborn,
and my mom crossed that a lot.
- Chen: She liked to complain about things,
but she didn't really mind.
Like, she took care of Grandpa
and she did a lot of that on her own.
You knew, because she complained about it, but she would do it
even though she complained.
- Cheng: Yeah.
I don't know how willing she would have been to do Storycorps
if she actually didn't know she had so little time left.
It was kind of like one of her last gifts to us.
My mother was cremated and the original plan
was to put her in the same cremorial as my father.
- Chen: Next to grandpa. - Cheng: But she said, you know,
"Keep me at your place for a while."
So right now I have the ashes at home,
and I talk to my mom every now and then.
I'll tell her "Good night" or "I miss you"
or something like that.
So I'm kinda happy she's with me.
[bright music]
- Benji: So maybe this year, I'll ask Grandma some questions
just like you did when you were a kid.
- Dave: Benji, she'd love that.
Listening is one of the most amazing gifts you can give.
It means the world to people and it's free!
I mean, just imagine what would happen
if everyone stopped and listened.
I think we'd see we're not nearly as different as we think.
We'd see a little bit of ourselves
in the stories of strangers.
People might shout a little less and listen a little more.
Because when we take the time to really listen, we see that
kindness, courage, and generosity are all around us.
And we know that every voice matters.
[bright music]