§ §
[harmonica plays]
>> Lead funding for Guys On Ice
provided in part by
MMG Foundation,
with additional support from
Dwight and Linda Davis
Foundation,
Ministry Door County
Medical Center,
Annie and Dick Egan,
Stanley J. Cottrill Fund,
Al Johnson's Swedish
Restaurant & Butik,
On Deck Clothing Company,
and Friends of
Wisconsin Public Television.
§ §

[talking over each other]
§ §

>> David, you okay?

[indistinguishable]
>> Sound check's
in five minutes.
[harmonica plays]
[trombone plays]
§ §
>> What I like about
Guys On Ice is it's a really
simple story.
The idea that somebody could
write a little musical about
two ice fishermen, I think,
is surprising to people.
§ He's the king §
§ I'm the king §
§ He's the king §
§ I'm the king §
§ He's the king §
§ §
>> There's just something really
great about the way this show
is crafted.
Audiences love it.
>> Oh, I've seen it about
50 times.
>> It gets better every time.
But I don't know how they can
improve much more over this.
§ §
>> Northern Sky Theater
is just a wonderful theater.
I mean, the audiences--
I've never had such great
audiences in my life.
Right here in Door County.
§ In the wink of an eye §
§ We could be pulled up §
§ To the pie in the sky §
>> We're very lucky to be
at Peninsula State Park,
which is really--
Many people consider the jewel
of the Wisconsin State Park
system.
The setting itself is profoundly
relaxing and comforting
for people.
§ And the skies are not §
§ Cloudy all day §

>> It's in this kind of magical
place in the middle of all
these trees.
Families come.
You know, you get some families
that are like three or four
generations.
>> My granddaughter here is
sittin' in the front row all
the time, and she just loves it.
§ §
Guys On Ice was written
specifically for the
Sesquicentennial of Wisconsin.
And of course now, 16 years
later, it's still chuggin' along
quite nicely.
§ §

>> Announcer: Good morning.
You're listening to WDOR Radio
in Sturgeon Bay,
Door County's source for news
and wedder at 93.9 FM and
910 AM.
It's five in the morning,
da temperature is minus seven
with a wind chill of
tirty-six below.
Da high for dis date was set
way back in 1946,
a balmy 15 degrees Fahrenheit.
Out on da bay de ice
is an average of 17 inches
and da perch are slow.
Roads are snow covered
and slippery, so be careful
out dare.
§ §
§ Dare's a place that I go §
§ When de world's deep in snow §
§ Buy some bait, grab my pole §
§ Head out to da wishing hole §
§ Dare's a place dat is best §
§ In the whole Middle West §
§ Florida might be nice §
§ If it had sheets of ice §
[laughter]
§ All you need all you need §
§ Is the right kind of bait §
§ And you wait and you wait §
§ And you wait and you wait §
§ Who needs church? §
§ Who needs church §
§ When yer catchin' dat perch? §
§ Wise men search §
§ And dere sign §
§ Is the tug on the line §
§ §
§ Five in de morning §
§ Coffee's awful §
§ Couldn't sleep §
§ Frozen waffles §
§ What a day, what a life §
§ What a pain, what a wife §
[laughter]
§ Hair is thinner §
§ Gut is fatter §
§ What the heck is de matter? §
§ What a day, what a wife §
§ What a pain, what a life §
§ §
[singing each part together]
§ Five in de morning §
§ Coffee's awful §
§ Couldn't sleep §
§ Frozen waffles §
§ What a day, what a life §
§ What a pain, what a wife §
§ Who needs church? §
§ Who needs church §
§ When yer catchin da perch? §
§ Wise men search §
§ And dere sign §
§ Is a tug on de line §
§ What a life! §
[telephone rings]
[whistling]
>> Yeah.
>> Hey dere, Lloyd.
>> Yup!
>> Dis is Marvin.
>> Yeah.
>> Are you dere?
[laughter]
>> Yeah, yeah, Marv, yeah, yeah.
>> How 'bout dose Packers?
>> Ahhhhh.
I tell ya.
>> So Lloyd, I got a phone call
last night.
>> Yup.
>> You'll never guess who.
>> You're right,
I'll never guess.
[laughter]
>> Cubby Kvernen.
>> Who?
>> Cubby Kvernen.
>> Dat guy from de fishing show?
>> Yeah, dat one on da
cable TV.
[laughter]
>> Well, what did he want?
>> Well, he's doing a show
about ice fishing,
and he heard about me.
[laughter]
>> He heard about you?
>> Well, I sent in a Polaroid.
[laughter]
You know, of de shanty to dat
P.O. Box dat dey flash on
da TV screen.
>> Yeah.
>> And Lloyd, Lloyd,
dey picked me.
Well, you know, local color
and dat.
>> Ah, well, good for you.
Pretty silly stuff though,
if you ask me.
I mean, I don't tink he even
catches dose fish on dat show.
You ever notice how dey just
sort of lay dere when he
pulls'em out?
[laughter]
Wouldn't catch me on dere,
not in a million.
>> Lloyd, dat's why I called!
He said I could have a guest,
and who am I gonna ask?
Ernie de Moocher?
Duh?
>> Right?
>> So I was wondering if you'd
come over to my shanty,
you know, tell some fish
stories, get off a couple jokes
and dat, ay?
He could film the both of us
out on de big bay
dis morning.
[laughter]
>> De bote'a us?
>> Yeah.
[laughter]
>> On da TV?
>> Yeah, yeah, den dere gonna
show it a week from this
Saturday at two O'clock,
right before de Wheel of Fortune
and Vanna.
[laughter]
>> Right up against Vanna,
huh?
>> Yeah.
So what do you tink, ay?
>> Well, what de hey?
Why de heck not?
>> Oh, dat's great, Lloyd.
>> Hey, tanks, tanks, yeah.
>>  So, do you need to ask
de old ball and chain?
[laughter]
>> Uh--
No-- no.
>> Are you sure, Lloyd?
Maybe you should ask the wife.
I don't want to upset
the applecart here.
>> I'm a grown man, Marvin.
I can eat as many frozen waffles
as I want.
>> Frozen waffles?
>> Never mind.
[laughter]
>> Okie dokie, then.
I'll see you on de ice, big guy.
>> See you on de ice.
>> Yeah, yeah.
§ §

§ Out at de wishing hole §
§ Auger and fishing pole §
§ Coffee and venison §
§ Are de best medicine §
§ Bucket of rosy reds §
§ Better use fatheads §
§ When dere's a winter storm §
§ Safe in your shanty warm §
§ You can believe dat God §
§ Owns his own tip up rod! §
§ §

>> Dere we go.
[jingle bells ring]
§ §

[laughter]
>> All right.
§ §

§ When yer not feeling strong §
§ Life is short §
§ Winter's long §
§ Seasons turn §
§ As dey roll §
§ We all need a wishing hole §
§ §
[cheers and applause]

[vocalizations of shivering]

[Marvin singing to himself]
>> Ooh, say dere, Marvin,
dat is a nice lookin' hat.
>> Oh, yeah, she's a dandy.
Came in de box wit the
laundry soap.
[laughter]
>> Oh, oh yeah?
>> No, see, I just flip this
over de flap and you don't see
de name of da soap.
>> Ahhh, dat's tinking, yeah.
>> Yeah, yeah.
[laughter]
>> Hey, hey, hey,
where's de ice scooper?
>> Ice scooper, here it is.
There ya go.
>> So Marvin, you think maybe ya
oughta tidy this place up a bit?
>> No, no, no, de cable TV folks
said dey wanted to see how
it is.
And dis is how it is.
[laughter]
>> Yeah, well, I bet you
dollars to donuts that once
dey see who it is they're gonna
ask ya to tidy up.
>> What?
>> Things on da TV are
always tidy.
>> Yeah, yeah.
Maybe yer right.
She never quite looks on
the boob tube how she really is,
huh?
>> Yeah.
Yeah, if things was like dey
are on de boob tube dey'd
be different den dere are.
[laughter]

>> I don't know,
I suppose that's true.
[laughter]
>> Oh, my God-ski!
I found that old lucky
slip bobber det I was missing.
>> Oh, yeah?
>> Yeah, it had me going.
You know, if a perch just looks
at the bait, dis bobber,
she starts to move.
>> Where was she?
>> Right dere, de whole time.
>> Jeez.
>> Any closer da darn ting
woulda bit me in de kiester.

Speaking of pains in de butt,
how's the wife?
[laughter and oohs]
>> Weeeell, you know.
>> Yeah?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah?
>> Yeah!

>> Not so good, ay?
[laughter]
>> Marvin, you hear dat one
about da guy who goes ice
fishing and brings home two
fifty pound cakes of ice?
[Marvin laughs]
No, no, that's not de
funny part.
[laughter]
See, da wife, she fried em,
and dey bote drowned.
[laughter]

>> Well, dese two Swedes,
dese two Swedes, dey come home
from ice fishing and don't
have any fish.
Der wives ask'em,
"So where's de fish?"
De Swedes, dey just shake dere
heads and dey say, "Well, by de
time we chopped a hole in de ice
big enough for de boat,
it was dark out."
[laughter]
De Swedes!
>> Da Swedes!
[laughter]
Yeah, dat's an old chestnut.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> So, how's de day job?
>> Oh, yuck.
You couldn't come up with
a bigger waste of time
if you'd tried.
And then the plant boss
calls me in dis week.
>> Ahhh, pink slip?
>> Nah, no, he didn't fire me.
I wish he would of.
No, the old shirt and tie,
he gave me a ten year pin.
>> A ten year pin!
Jeez, you been at the plant
for ten years already?
[Lloyd chuckles]
[laughter]
>> You know, Lloyd, there's
something hopeful about a bucket
of fathead minnows.
>> Ah, yeah.
Yeah, I like your fatheads
'cause they're tough.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah! You can get five, six,
seven perch off one minnow.
>> Sometimes I get more
wid a dead minnow.
>> Yup.
Sometimes de deader de better.
[laughter]
>> Dat's a good one.
>> Yeah, de old man always
use'ta say det when dey get
dat white color and dat,
dat's when de perch
seem to like'em da most.
>> Yeah, but edder way,
you gotta hook'em on top
and you gotta move de bait
a lot!
You know, some guys, dey
hook'em tru de mouth,
some tru de eyes, some go tru
de tail and dey come up under,
but I always go behind de fin.
>> Yeah, well, de reason that
works is 'cause de fish always
swallow dere meal head first.
[laughter]
>> Me too.
[laughter]
[motor approaching]
>> Yeah, yeah, Cubby?
>> No, uh-uh.
>> So, Marvin, you gonna give
the cable TV guys all de
inside dope?
>> Like what?
>> Well, you know, like how ya
hook a fathead and that.
>> Well, you know, I figure we
give a little to get a little.
You know, de guys that Cubby
likes, he keeps askin'em back.
Think about it, if I was
a regular on dat show,
I'd never have to buy a beer
in dis town again.

And maybe Bonnie would finally
go out wit me.
>> Bonnie?
Dat gal from de Pick 'N Save?
De one dey say has de Packer
helmet tattoo on her--
[laughter]

>> Yeah.
I'm in love wid
Bonnie de check out gal.
>> Yeah, dat's not love, Marv,
that's a ten percent discount
on broasted chicken.
[laughter]
>> No, it is love, and after
today, I'm gonna be a shoo-in.
I'll walk in ta Pick 'N Save,
there will be Bonnie, she'll say
dat she saw me today on TV.
§ §
§ She'll punch de clock early §
§ And no one will care §
§ I'll bring her a Cubby Show §
§ Tee-shirt ta wear §
§ Da folks at da checkout §
§ Will all stop and stare §
§ 'Cause they'll know §
§ I'm da guy from TV §
§ They'll rename §
§ The frozen food §
§ Section for me §
§ I'd eat all the samples §
§ That I want ta for free §
>> There ya go.
§ I'll autograph food §
§ For a very small fee §
§ Dat's me §
§ I'm de guy from TV §
§ And it's Bonnie and me §
§ The guy from TV §
§ In a grocery cart §
§ Built for two §
§ I'll be wearing a smile §
§ In the breakfast food aisle §
§ When Bonnie shows me §
§ Her tattoo §
>> Hehehe, you gotta keep that
down there, Honey.
There are a lotta people here.
[laughter]
Let's go to da dairy section,
ay?
§ Attention all shoppers §
§ A special today §
§ Back by de dairy §
§ Look for da display §
§ Where Bonnie the checkout §
§ Is having her way §
§ Wid me, I'm de guy from TV §
§ And it's Bonnie and me §
§ The guy from TV §
§ In a grocery cart §
§ Built for two §
§ I'll be wearing a smile §
§ In the breakfast food aisle §
§ When Bonnie shows me §
§ Her tattoo §
>> Whahoo!
§ She'll punch de clock early §
§ And no one will care §
§ I'll bring her a Cubby Show §
§ Tee-shirt to wear §
§ Da folks at the checkout §
§ Will all stop and stare §
§ 'Cause they'll know §
§ I'm the guy from TV §

§ 'Cause they'll know §
§ I'm da guy §
§ From TV §
§ §
[laughter, cheers and applause]

>> You got an active
imagination, dere Marv.
>> Yeah.
You know, I think I got
her pegged like.
You know, this will be my second
time on the boob tube.
>> Oh yeah?
>> Yeah.
When Kiehnaus' garage, you know,
it burnt down up in
Baileys Harbor, dey interviewed
me for de Channel 5 News.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember dat.
>> Yeah?
>> It weren't exactly
an interview.
>> Well, I said a lot,
but they only kept a little.
I got it on da video tape.
I say, "Yeah, she sure went up
in a jiffy."
[laughter]
>> Dat's it?
>> Dat's it.
Oh, and den I shook my head.
I went--
Just like that.
I went--
No, it was more like this.
I was like--
[laughter]
>> Yeah, I get de picture
der, Marv.
>> You know, folks said I look
good on TV, sort of like
a heavier George Clooney.
[laughter]
>> Yup, drop seven or eight
pounds you're a dead ringer.
>> Yeah?
One ting on TV, you look
a lot bigger.
>> Bigger?
>> Oh, fatter.
Dat's why I didn't wear
as many layers today.
>> Oh, jeez, jeez, jeez.
Maybe I should peel down
a bit before dey get here.
>> No, no, no.
You're looking pretty thin
dere, Lloyd.
Turn sideways for me.
Turn sideways.
[breath sucking in]
Oh, yeah, I can hardly see ya.
[laughter]
>> Yeah, right.
>> No, I'd keep dat on.
Dat is a nice looking snowsuit
you got dere.
>> Oh, yeah.
Do you know dat Debby wanted me
to throw her out.
>> What?!?!
>> Yeah!
Jeez, I taught she had a few
years of life in her yet.
Yeah, I sometimes forget
just how good she feels
on a cold day.
>> What, Debby?
[laughter]
>> No, the snowmobile suit.
>> Oh, right, right, right.
I was just joshin' ya.
[laughter]
§ §
§ Wid a roof over head §
§ And a truck that'll run §
§ 'Til hell freezes up §
§ And a rack for yer gun §
§ A bed that is warm §
§ When you turn out the lights §
§ And a color TV §
§ To watch late at night §
§ But de tings that are fine §
§ When it comes down to dat §
§ Are a warm pair of boots §
§ And a polar fleece hat §
§ To my Thinsulate gloves §
§ I stand and salute §
§ But the best thing of all §
§ Is a snowmobile suit §
§ A rooty toot toot toot §
§ Tooty toot toot §
§ From the top of your hat §
§ To de tip of your boot §
§ When it's tirty below §
§ Dere is no substitute §
§ For da comfort and warmth §
§ Of a snowmobile suit §
§ §
§ With a stripe down the back §
§ That reflects late at night §
§ And a stripe on the front §
§ That is equally bright §
§ And de Velcro snugs §
§ Up the ankles and wrist §
§ Dere are so many zips §
§ That it's hard to resist §
§ §
§ And a snap for a hood §
§ Dat's reversible too §
§ It is made from the stuff §
§ That the astronauts flew §
§ For a parka or coat §
§ I don't give a hoot §
§ For de best ting of all §
§ Is a snowmobile suit §
§ A rooty toot toot toot §
§ Tooty toot toot §
§ From the top of your hat §
§ To the tip of your boot §
§ When it's tirty below §
§ Dere is no substitute §
§ For de comfort and warmth §
§ Of a snowmobile suit §
§ §
[laughter]
[zipping]

[laughter]

>> Whee!
§ §
§ A rooty toot toot toot §
§ Tooty toot toot §
§ It can hide all the fat §
§ Of the biggest galoot §
§ It can make skinny guys §
§ Look like Superman, too §
§ There are so many tings §
§ Dat a snowsuit can do §
§ When its tirty below §
§ There is no substitute §
§ For de, sure ting, you bet §
§ Satisfaction, no regret §
§ Surprised dat you ain't §
§ Bought one yet! §
§ Snowmobile suit! §
§ §

[applause]

[motor zooms by]
>> Cubby?
>> No, it's Ernie de Moocher.
He's out joyriding.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He musta mooched a snowmobile.
[laughing]
>> I tell ya, when de perch
don't bite Ernie goes visiting.
>> Better hide da bait and
da beer, huh?
>> Yeah.
So when de heck is
Cubby coming here?
>> Well, he and de camera crew,
dere gonna stop in Algoma
ta interview Bob at da
Bait and Bowl, and den dere
headed up here.
>> Okay, tell ya what then,
and in the meantime,
nature calls.
>> I didn't hear it.
[laughter]
>> Yeah, and you didn't have
beer with yer waffles
this morning, either.
[laughter]
>> Say dere, Lloyd.
>> Yup.
>> You know how the ice
fisherman are catching bear up
in Canada?
>> No, how's that?
>> Dey use a can of peas.
>> Yeah?
>> Yeah, you see dey drill a
hole in de ice den dey put
peas around it.
>> Yeah.
>> When de bear comes up to
take a pee, dey kick him in
the ice hole.
[laughter]

>> Yeah, dat's a good one.
[laughter]
I heard one de udder day
up der at Birmingham's.
>> Yeah?
>> Yeah, ah, let's see.
Dis guy is drilling a hole in
de ice ta fish, ya know,
and he hears this voice
from above.
"There's no fish in dere."
But he keeps drillin', and then
he hears the voice again.
"There's no fish in dere."
But he keeps drillin'.
And then he hears the voice
again even louder dis time.
"I said, there's no fish
in dere!"
And dis light shines down.
And the guy, he looks up,
ya know, and he says,
"Who are you?"
And de voice answers,
"Da skating rink manager."
[laughter]

>> Oh, right, yeah.
[laughter]
Dat's a good one, yeah!
>> Yeah!
>> Hey, you coming in
or going out.
We're heating the great
outdoors here, yeah.
>> Oh yeah, global warming.
Tell you what, I'm gonna stretch
my legs out a bit.
I'll check out de tip ups.
>> Well, watch out for
da Lambeau Bigfoot.
>> Yeah, right.
>> Right.
[breathing heavily in the cold]

>> Yeah, she's a frosty one.

Well, somewhere in the world
guys are going to work.

Well, work's for guys that don't
know how ta fish.
[laughter]

Sure is quiet.

[playing harmonic tune]

§ §

§ Out here where §
§ The billboards stop §
§ You can see for days §
§ Clear across to Michigan §
§ Through the snowy haze §
§ Out here where §
§ Da highway ends §
§ Everything is white §
§ You can see today rise up §
§ And chase away last night §
§ Out here where today begins §
§ Billboards stop §
§ Highway ends §
§ There is nothing §
§ But the wind §
§ Use to come here wit my dad §
§ And wit my uncles too §
§ Sittin' in the shanty §
§ Dey taught me what they knew §
§ They never said a word to me §
§ Any udder where §
§ But out here where §
§ The day begins §
§ They had things to share §
[harmonica break]

§ There's a shanty §
§ Here and there §
§ Out across the snow §
§ Tracks that lead to anywhere §
§ That you'd want to go §
§ Smell the wood smoke §
§ In de air §
§ Hear a bird or two §
§ Feel the quiet everywhere §
§ Everything is new §
§ Out here where da sky begins §
§ Ice goes out, never ends §
§ There is nothing §
§ But the wind §
§ Everything is new §
[harmonica break]

[applause]

>> Ladies and Gentleman,
welcome to da Cubby Show!
Yaaayyyy!
[laughter]
So, it's really good to have you
back on da show, Marvin.
Well, it's good to be here,
Cubby.
[laughter]
So, Marvin, dey say dat you
catch more perch den Carter
has pills.
Well, Cubby, I got dat
sensitive touch.
And I bet dat's just not fish
were talking about dere,
ay, Marvie boy?
[laughter]
Well, you know how it is, Cubs.
Ho, ho, ho.
I sure do.
Heh, heh, heh, heh, hoa, hoa.
Stop it.
[laughter]
So, Marvin, dey say dat if I put
a bucket in da middle of da
floor you could pull a ten pound
perch out of it.
Jeez.
Heck, Cubby,
I'm just a simple guy
wid a simple gift.
[laughter]
You gotta gift all right, Marv,
you gotta a gift for fish.
And on top of dat, you're a good
looking fella.
[laughter]
You ever consider leaving
the factory for a career on
da TV?
[horsy laugh]
Yeah.
[laughter]
But what's the world gonna do
wid anudder George Clooney, ay?
[laughter]
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
my guest today has been--
My guest today has been
Marvelous Marvin,
the ice fishing king.
Hoo yeah.
[laughter]
You don't mind when I call you
dat, do you, Marvie boy?
No, no, no, I don't mind, Cubby.
I'm sorta use to it.
[laughter]
§ §
§ I was born with §
§ The pole in my hand §
§ And a whole lotta hope §
§ In my heart §
§ And both the women §
§ And perch understand §
§ Dat to fish tru de ice §
§ Is an art §
§ It's not bragging §
§ To say I'm da best §
§ When dey say it §
§ I have to agree §
§ Tru hard times §
§ I been put to de test §
§ Now de king §
§ Of de icemen is me §
§ I'm da king, I'm da king §
§ All you fish §
§ Raise your voices and sing §
[cheering]
§ He's the king, he's the king §
§ He's the king §
§ §
§ A packer hat §
§ It is my crown §
§ A wooden crate §
§ Is my throne §
§ Da royal rod §
§ I'm free to choose §
§ From 20 that I own §
§ I am de king of all you see §
§ Inside dese shanty walls §
§ My castle I will never leave §
§ Except when nature calls §
§ I'm da king, I'm da king §
§ All you fish §
§ Raise your voices and sing §
§ He's the king §
§ I'm da king §
§ He's da king §
§ I'm da king §
§ He's da king §
§ §
§ And someday §
§ When da king is no more §
§ And dey lay me to rest §
§ Wid my pole §
§ I will look up §
§ And wait for da hook §
§ From the heavenly §
§ Ice fishing hole §
§ I'm da king, I'm da king §
§ All you fish §
§ Raise your voices and sing §
§ He's da king §
§ I'm da king §
§ He's da king §
§ I'm da king §
§ He's da king §
§ §
§ What Elvis was §
§ To rock 'n roll §
§ I am wid da ice fishing pole §
§ I'm da king §
§ He's da king §
§ I'm da king §
§ He's da king §
§ I'm da king §
§ §
>> Yeah!
[cheers and applause]

Thank you very much.
[laughter]
I'll be appearing at
the Oneida Casino with my very
good friend, Mr. Ba--
[laughter]

How're doing dere?
[laughter]
>> So, Marv, I heard you yell.
Thought maybe you'd gone
though de ice, but I see now
that's not the case.
>> Right.
No, no, I had a big one.
Jeez, she got away, ay?
>> Yup, yeah.
And she was so big you thought
you should get up on that
crate dere.
[laughter]
>> Right.
Well, you know, torque.
[laughter]
>> Well, maybe next time you
wanna take the pole.
[laughter]
>> Yeah, right.
Well, tell you what, time to
drain de old coffee pot, huh?
>> Well, all de excitement,
probably.
>> No, no,I think it was a big
Northern.
20 pounds of angry fish.
>> A real whopper.
>> Yeah, I would have had a hard
time horsing her tru de hole,
anyway.
>> I'll bet.
>> Ya know,  I once had
a sturgeon pull me and da
shanty half way to Marinette
before she broke the line.
[laughter]

>> Yeah, well, I had
a granddaddy brown trout up
tru de hole once.
Took a picture and everything.
But then she flipped over,
back down she went.
>> How big?
>> The picture weighed
12 pounds.
[laughter]
[motor comes and stops]
What?
>> He's coming.
>> Cubby?
>> No, Ernie de Moocher.
>> Together: Hide da beer!

[knocking]
>> Who's there?
>> Give ya tree guesses,
da first two don't count.

Ding dong, Avon calling.
[heavy breathing with cold]
[snorting]
[laughter]
Hey, fellas.
>> Hey, Ernie.
How're you doin'?
>> So ya getting any?
>> Nah.
>> No? Oh.
How far are ya from da bottom?
>> Oh, not so far, Ernie.
>> Yeah, well, what are
you using fer bait?
>> Fatheads.
>> Oh, yeah, say, you fellas
don't got a couple you
could spare?
>> Not really.
>> Ernie, we don't got
that many.
>> Here we go, buggers, got'em!
I'll just, um--
Oh, shoot.
I'll just, um--
Oh yeah! I'll take'em in dis
coffee cup and bring it back
to ya.

There we go.
You know, I had some meal worms
I was gonna use, but jeez,
I kept in da fridge and
my brudder, he come home tipsy,
and he taught dey were
a macaroni salad.
[laughter]

I tell ya, perch ain't
hungry today.
Whoo! Golly doe, I sure am.

You fellas ain't got nuttin'
to eat, do ya?
>> No.
>> No.
>> No? Oh.
[sniffing
[laughter]
That's funny,
it smells kinda like
venison jerky in here.
[sniffing]

[laughter]
Ah-ha!
>> Okay! I got some.
>> Ha, ding, ding, ding!
>> But ya know, it's not
so good .
It's too salty.
>> Oh, yeah? Well, den you
wouldn't mind me having some.
Ummmm.
Oh, boy, say, dat's real good!
Yer taster must be off.
Oh, shoot.
>> What?
>> Well, I was just tinking,
ya know, it's too bad I don't
got a beer, wash'er down.

[laughter]
>> Well, we're short on beer.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> Oh, yeah?
What a shame, huh?
[coughing]

>> Ya all right?
>> Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's just my troat.
It's fine.
[choking]
>> Yeah, okay, Ernie, Ernie!
>> Oh, tanks.
Ah.
[laughter]
>> Okay, okay, come on.
[clearing throat]

[burp]
Oh yeah, nuttin' like a cold
barley pop, huh?
>> Yeah.
>> Gosh, ya know, by now I was
hoping I'd have a couple of
perch to fry, huh?
Jeez, der just not hot 'n heavy
dis year, huh?
Well, what wid de dern
cormorants diving down for de
best ones, and de alewives
eating de eggs, and de
zebra mussels cleaning out
de water and what have you.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> I'll tell ya, things ain't
like dey use to be, huh?
>> Nope.
>> Den again--
[whistles]
dey never was.
§ §
§ Tings ain't like §
§ Dey use to be §
§ Den again dey never was §
§ Back before da Model T §
§ Da good old days was §
§ Good because §
§ All de folks alive back den §
§ Are now so old §
§ Dey can't recall §
§ How bad §
§ Da good old days had been §
§ When dey were young §
§ And very small §
[laughter and applause]

>> Did you write that?
>> Yeah.
>> I thought so.
[laughter]
>> Well, okay den, I'll see you
fellas later.
>> Bye, bye.
>> See ya later.
>> Oh, say der, Lloyd--
>> Yeah?
>> Gosh, I heard, da wife
moved in wit de in-laws, huh?
Jeez, dat's, rough as a cob.
>> Wait, wait!
Where'd you hear dat?
>> Oh, well, see now Beth at
de Pudgy Seagull said dat old
Ford Debby drives was out front
of your in-laws de last couple
nights.
And den Claris at de Super Value
spotted you in de grocery, yeah,
stocking up on dose TV dinners
you always buy when Debby's
out of town.
Only she ain't out of town,
she's at the in-laws.
Yeah, see I just put two and
tree togedder.
[laughter]
>> You're on thin ice, Ernie.

>> Oh, yeah.
Well, um, time to go!
Don't catch'em all, fellas.
Oh, hey, how 'bout dose Packers,
yeah?
>> Yeah.
[laugher]
>> He's a real crackerjack,
dat one, huh?
>> This place is like living
in a fish bowl.
[laughter]
>> It's Door County, Lloyd.
[laughter]
Dere's tourists, pickled eggs
and gossip.
[laughter]

>> Yeah, I s'pose.
>> So, why'd she flop outta
the bucket?
[laughter]
>> Well, you know--

Me and Debby was in de waitin'
room at de dentist office,
ya know.
And anyways, I'd already read de
Field and Stream so, ya know,
when no one's looking I picked
up one of dem women's
magazines.
And dey had dis little test in
dere, you take it to see if your
husband adds up ta much.

Marvin, I got a one outta ten.
[laughter]

>>  How'd ya get the one?
[laughter]

>> I always put de toilet
seat down.
[laughter]
>> So anyway, I taught it was
sorta funny, you know, so I show
it to Debby.
And she says, "I don't know why
I'm wasting my time wid a one."
Oh, and then she got all worked
up about our anniversary
on Sunday.
I told her, I couldn't help it
was the same day as the
Packer-Bears game.
[laughter]
It was nuttin' personal,
and that we were just lucky
that her dad died and
left us da tickets.
[laughter]
I mean, who wouldn't want to
spend their anniversary at
Lambeau Field?

>> Debby.
[laughter]
>> Right.
So anyway, she says, it just
goes ta show dat I care more
about the Packers then her.
>> The old argument.
[laughter]
>> And I told her that
made sense.
[laughter]
'Cause I'd been following the
Packers for tirty years!
I'd only been following her
for seven.
[laughter]

>> And that upset her?
[laughter]

>> Yeah.
Can you believe it?
After all the years and all the
love and the bother.
[laughter]
It comes down to de Packers.
>> One way or de udder,
everyting does.
[laughter]
>> Anyways, she's out de door
and over to de in-laws quicker
den you can say Oconomowoc.
[laughter]
§ §
She broke de line, Marv.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
§ §
§ They say there's lotsa §
§ Fishes in the lake §
§ And I have seen §
§ A pretty tail or two §
§ But sure as heck §
§ I made a big mistake §
§ I didn't set the hook §
§ And she slipped through §
§ It's not like there's §
§ A new fish on my line §
§ You won't see this old §
Bobber in the bay §
§ You'd tink some other fin §
§ Might suit me fine §
§ I'd rather have the one §
§ That got away §
§ She was the one §
§ The one that got away §
§ I'd trade it all §
§ To have anudder day §
§ You never know §
§ Until she's gone §
§ How much you loved §
§ The ground §
§ She floundered on §
§ Why did you go? §
§ Why won't you stay? §
§ Don't be the one §
§ That got away §
§ §
§ I fished for long enough §
§ Dat I would know §
§ A keeper when she finally §
§ Came to me §
§ But here I am with nothing §
§ Left to show §
§ And she is out dere §
§ Somewhere swimming free §
§ So now I sit §
§ Beside da wishing hole §
§ If someone asks me why §
§ Then I will say §
§ I'm waiting for her tug §
§ Upon my pole §
§ I'm waiting for §
§ The one that got away §
§ She was the one §
§ The one that got away §
§ I'd trade it all §
§ To have anudder day §
§ You never know §
§ Until she's gone §
§ How much you loved §
§ The ground §
§ She floundered on §
§ §
§ Why did you go? §
§ Why won't you stay? §
§ Don't be the one §
§ That got away §
§ §
[applause]

>> Here.
>> What are you--
What's this?
>> Open'er up.

>> Walleye
>> Yeah.
[laughter]
I outsmarted a couple
de other night.
I was gonna give it to Cubby.

>> Come on, Marv.
Put that in there.
What are you--
>> Uh-uh-uh.
You.
[laughter]
>> Thanks, Marv.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Together: Yeah.
[laughter]
>> Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> Hoh, ho, ho.
Wow, mmmm.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

Marvin?
>> Umm?
>> Do you think that fish
feel pain?
>> No.
They can't think.
If you can't think
you can't feel pain.
>> Well, dey got brains.
>> Well, yeah, but dey don't
use'em to think.
[laughter]
They just see food and eat it.
They see a girl fish,
they mate.
They see a bigger fish,
they swim away.
[laughter]
>> That sounds like most of
da guys we know.
[laughter]
>> Umm-umm, that's instinct,
that's not thinking.
Thinking would be if they swam
along dere worrying about
whether dey left de garage door
open, and if dere gal loved'em,
and if dere bald spot was
getting bigger.
And all de time dere worrying,
dey drive de car, they switch de
radio, they wave at da paperboy,
and they wonder if God is
looking down to see what they're
tinking when dey see de
neighbor's daughter out watering
de lawn in da bikini.
[laughter]

[laughter]
Dat's tinking.
Fish don't do dat.
>> You've given this
some thought.
>> Yeah, sure, 'cause I'm
not a fish.
I can think, dat's da
heck of it.
But instead of my own TV show,
I got this job down at de
plant dat even a fish could do.

Well, if a fish had arms.
[laughter]
And could breathe de air, and
was willing to work the second
shift for ten bucks an hour.
And listen to Harley Collins
go on all night about how aliens
took over de government.
[throat rasping]
[laughter]
Ya know, sometimes--
Sometimes I wish I were a fish.

>> Hey, here.
>> What's dis?
>> Lawyer.
>> Oh yeah?
>> Yeah, de strips from de back
of de fish is top drawer.
I froze it so it's kind of
rubbery like lobster.
>> No, no, it's good dat way.
>> Oh, yeah.
Yup, yup.
I told ya.
>> Lloyd, fish is a good thing.
>> Yeah, but you know doe,
Marv, dere's only two times
det I like to eat fish.
>> Yeah, when it's snowing.
>> And when it's not.
§ §
[laughter]
§ Guy's gotta eat §
§ Three squares a day §
§ Miss one square §
§ And ya waste away §
§ Eight days a week §
§ I'm in de mood §
§ For a fillet §
§ Of the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle §
§ Fish is the miracle §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Burger on a bun §
§ Kinda all right §
§ Maybe a steak §
§ On a Sunday night §
§ When dere's a choice §
§ Widout being rude §
§ I always ask for §
§ De miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle §
§ Fish is the miracle §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Put white fish in da pot §
§ Burn da wood piping hot §
§ Den toss on kerosene §
§ Puff of smoke §
§ Boils off clean §
§ If you like fried de best §
§ Den you might try dis test §
§ Ask for perch, walleye, pike §
§ Fried in batter §
§ How you like §
§ It don't matter §
§ Which you choose §
§ Edder way you can't lose §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle §
§ Fish is the miracle §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
[laughter]
[applause]
§ §

§ When Jesus fed §
§ The folks and that §
§ Pulled those loaves §
§ From his holy hat §
§ No ring bologna §
§ On that bread §
§ Here is de words §
§ That da big guy said §
§ Take dis bread and dis fish §
§ Say a prayer, make a wish §
§ Feed five tousand §
§ It ain't rough §
§ When folks share §
§ Den dere's enough §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle §
§ Fish is the miracle §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle food §
§ Fish is the miracle §
§ Fish is the miracle §
[cheers]
§ Fish is the miracle food §
[cheers and applause]

§ §
>> Announcer: Good afternoon.
You're listenin' to WDOR Radio
in Sturgeon Bay at 93.9 FM
and 910 AM.
Stay tuned for da Polka Hour,
right after Fast Freddy's
Fishing Report, brought to you
by your friends at Perry's
Cherry Diner, home of the
world's largest soup ladle.
At 2:30 PM it's sunny skies wid
temperatures still in da single
digits, a whoppin' seven degrees
on da Fahrenheit scale.
§ §
§ 12 beers in a 12-pack §
§ 24 hours in a day §
§ 52 cards in a Bicycle deck §
§ Have anudder beer? §
§ Hey, what da heck? §
§ §
§ Eight beers left §
§ In a 12-pack §
§ 20 hours left in a day §
>>  So Lars and Ole rent a boat
to go fishing.
And dey have a big day
catching fish.
So, on da way back Lars says
to Ole, "I hope you remembered
dat place where we caught
all dose fish."
"Sure do," Ole says, "I painted
a big X on de side of de boat
to mark de spot."
[laughter]
"Well, jeez," Lars says,
"dat's not gonna work.
How do you know we'll
get da same boat next time?"
[laughter]
§ §
§ 12 beers in a 12-pack §
§ 24 hours in a day §
§ 52 cards in a Bicycle deck §
§ Have anudder beer? §
§ Hey, what da heck? §
[laughter]
§ Six beers left in a 12-pack §
§ 12 hours left in a day §
§ May as well stay §
§ Just a little bit longer §
§ Fish might bite §
§ In an hour or so §
§ No need to leave while §
§ There's beer in da bucket §
§ No better place we could go §
>> So Ole, he goes to his doctor
for a physical and afterwards
de Doc says, "Ole, I've got
some good news and I've got
some bad news."
Ole says, "Well, give me
de bad news first."
The Doc says, "You got a disease
that there ain't no cure for."
"Oh, heck", says Ole, "oh, heck.
What's de good news, den?"
"Oh", says da Doc, "I caught a
five pound walleye yesterday".
[laughter]

§ §
§ 12 beers in a 12-pack §
§ 24 hours in a day §
§ 52 cards in a Bicycle deck §
§ Have anudder beer? §
§ Hey, what da heck? §
[laughter]
§ Six beers left in a 12-pack §
§ 8 hours left in a day §
>> Yeah, that's a pretty
good one.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> So a couple of Eskimos
named Lars and Ole--
[laughter]
Go out fishin' on a cold day.
So dey start a fire right dere
in the kayak to keep warm.
[laughter]
Well, sure enough, dey burn a
hole right tru de kayak and
dey sink.
De moral of the story is,
you can't have your kayak
and heat it too.
[laughter]
Heat it too.
You didn't like that one?
>> No.

>> Yeah, right.
§ 12 beers in a 12-pack §
§ 24 hours in a day §
>> I thought you'd like that.
§ 52 cards in a bicycle deck §
§ Have anudder beer? §
§ Hey, what da heck? §
[cheers and applause]
§ Four beers left in a 12-pack §
§ Two hours left in a day §
§ May as well stay §
§ Just a little bit longer §
§ Fish might bite §
§ In an hour or so §
§ No need to leave while §
§ There's beer in da bucket §
§ No better place to go §
§ No better place §
§ §
§ To go §
§ §
[applause]

>> Go fish.
[laughter]
You got sevens?
>> Uh-uh, go fish.
[laughter]

How about some kings?
>> Yeah, I got a couple
cowboys.
>> Yeah.
Three of hearts?
>> Shoot.
>> And dat would leave you
holdin' the four of clubs.
>> Hahaha, yeah.
[laughter]
>> Looks like I got ya beat.
>> Yeah.
>> Rubber match?
>> No, maybe a game of cribbage.
What time is it anyway, huh?
>> Oh, jeez, a hair past
a freckle.
>> Yeah, right.
Cubby, he must've got hung up
at the Bait 'n Bowl.
>> Yeah, yeah.
Well, let's just hope he didn't
have some of dat chili they got
there behind de counter.
>> Oh yeah, she's pretty tight
in here for someone who's had
Bait 'n Bowl chili.
[laughter]
>> Yup, she's a little
snug for dat.
[chuckling]
>> I wonder where dere gonna
put da camera?
[wondering noises]
Whad'ya think?
>> Right close up, I s'pose.
>> That close?
>> Yeah, der ain't that much
room in here.
[laughter]
>> Hey, what do ya tink?
Which is my best side?
>> Well, that's a rough call.
[laughter]
Come ere, come ere, come ere.
Now you've missed just a little
spot shaving, dere.
Yeah, maybe on de udder side.
Yup, good.
Hey, what 'bout me?
Does it matter?
>> Um, yeah, right there.
That's de side you want to be
facing the camera?
>> Yup, yup.
Jeez, you got me a little
nervous now.
>> Just as long as you don't
get tongue tied.
Cubby, he had dis guy on de
show, he was using spinners to
fish for bass one time.
The guy, he just keeps looking
at de camera like he was afraid
it was gonna swallow him up
or something.
He was tongue tied.
Cubby, he never asked him back
on de show.
>> Well, I s'pose I could tell
Cubby how Dale Seiler always
spits on his bait for good luck.
That's colorful.
>> Yeah, and how Ernie holds
the crawlers in his mouth to
keep 'em warm.
[laughter]
>> Yeah, Ernie is no Einstein.
>> No.
>> Do you remember couple a two,
tree years ago he drove dat old
Chevy of out on the
honeycomb ice?
>> Yeah, I warned him.
But sure as Christmas he
drownded it.
Broke right tru.
>> He made de front page of
de Aggrovate.
>> Yeah, de way Ernie went on
about it, you've have taught
she was de Titanic going down.
[laughter]
>> Of course, you went tru de
ice not so far back yourself.

>> You don't need to tell
Cubby dat.
[laughter]
>> Well, heck, dat's what ya get
for keepin' de shanty
so dern hot.
You'll be swimming again
if you don't watch it.
You should get yerself
a termostat.
When it gets slippery
in de shanty an' that,
you move it and that.

>> So I suppose now you're
de expert den, huh?
[laughter]
>> No, I'm just saying--
>> No, I heard what yer saying.
Next thing ya know you're gonna
be saying it to Cubby,
making me look dumb in front
of millions of people.
>> Marvin, I am not gonna say
a word about it.
>> Well, I hope not.
'Cause if you do, ya know, I
just might happen to mention
that time you woke up still
tipsy and came out fishing wid
your snowmobile suit on
backwards.
And then went half-crazy because
you couldn't find a zipper
on your fly.
[laughter]

>> You said you would never
mention dat again.
>> Well, I won't
if I don't have to.
[laughter]
>> Oh, I see how it is den.
Mm-hmm,
with de TV and that.
Yeah, you just wanna be
Mister Famous an' that.
>> Well, why not?
Jeez.
§ Whatever happened to §
§ The Marvin I knew §
§ Way back, long ago §
§ Yesterday §
§ The regular guy §
§ In the sensible shoes §
§ Before da TV came his way §
§ I use to know him §
§ Before he got famous §
§ And married §
§ That big movie star §
§ And sold off his shanty §
§ For 42 bucks §
§ And bought §
§ A big limousine car §
§ Dey say he quit fishing §
§ And gave up the church §
§ And spent all his money §
§ On booze §
>> No, jeez.
§ And dat's why I shot him §
§ With my tirty aught six §
[laughter]
§ I knew he had §
§ Nothin' to lose §
§ §
[laughter and applause]

>> All right, all right.
What have you.
>> Whatever.
>> Yeah, whatever.
I suppose that this whole TV
thing is really no big deal,
huh?
Hey? hey?
Come on.
>> No big deal, no big deal.
Jeez.
Who cares if dis Cubby
even comes.
>> Yeah, who cares, ay?

[karate yell]
>> Oof!
[laughter]

That was a good one.
>> Yeah, do it, hard as you can.
free bee.
>> Free bee.
>> Hard as you can.
It's not gonna hurt me.
>> Right dere?
>> Free bee, do it.
>> Are you ready?
>> Oww!
[laughter]

[speaking pseudo-Asian language]

>> Together: Wedgie-komo!
[speaking pseudo-Asian language]

[knocking]
>> Together: It's Cubby!
>> Clean up, clean up.
Fast, fast.
[whispering]
>> We're lookin' good.
[laughter]

>> Come on in, Cubby.
>> Olly, Olly oxen free!
>> It's the Moocher.
Give him what he wants,
get him outta here.
>> Ready or not, here I come.
Heeeere's Ernie!
[singing Johnny Carson theme]
Well, here's dat coffee cup
I borrowed.
Boy, I tell ya, dose are
magic minnows.
I caught tree off of one
and four off de udder.
>> Yeah, dat's great Ernie.
We'll see ya later.
>> Say, you fellas got some
more beers, huh?
>> Yeah, here, Ernie.
Tell ya what, just take'em.
>> What? No!
>> We're expecting company.
>> Oh, yeah?
Well, I better leave ya one.
>> Thanks a lot, Ernie,
that's real generous of ya.
>> Oh, sure ting, anytime!
>> Okay den, we'll see ya later.
§ What's mine is yours §
§ What's your is mine §
§ Da beer is good §
§ Da perch are fine §
§ De clouds are hung §
§ With fishing line §
§ What's mine is yours is mine §
>> Okay, Ernie, nice song.
§ One for da money §
>> We don't want the --
Oh, no.
§ Two for da show §
>> Oh, no, no, no.
Come on, Ernie.
§ Three to get ready §
§ Oh boy! §
§ And four to blow §
§ §
[laughter]

>> I don't know where
he thinks he is.
§ §
[clapping along]

[cheers and applause]

>> Did you write dat one,
too?
>> Oh yeah.
>> Keep de day job.
[laughter]
Oh, oh, my gosh, fellas,
oh jeez, I almost forgot!
Boy, I was listenin' to WBDK on
dis radio dat I borrowed from
Vernon Destree--
>> Dat's great, Ernie.
We don't got any batteries.
See ya later.
>> Oh, no, not da batteries.
Ho, ho, I heard news!
>> No news is good news,
Ernie, okay?
We'll see ya later.
>> See ya later, bye, bye.
>> Take dem beers.
>> I just thought you fella
might be interested, ya know?
On account it being dat
TV fishing guy an' all.
>> No, wait!
>> Oh, yeah.
Ya know, dey took a break in
de shopping show to make
the announcement.
>> What announcement?
>> You know dat guy,
Cubby Kvernen?
>> Yeah?
>> Yeah, from de fishing show?
>> Yeah, Yeah?
>> On de cable TV?
>> Yeah, what?
>> Snowblower accident
dis morning.
>> What?
>> Snowblower.
[laughter]
He slipped.
>> No.
[exasperated sounds]
>> What a way to go.
[mouth motor sounds]
[laughter]

[explosive sound]
[laughter]
[splotching noises]
[laughter]

>> Cubby is dead?
>> Rough as a cob, huh?
Well, thanks for de beers.

>> Cubby's not coming,
ever.
>> No.
I'd say odds are pretty good
he won't show.
[laughter]
>> Well, that's it then, huh?
No Cubby, no TV.
No Bonnie.
>> Yeah, yeah.
Sorry big guy.
>> Hey, that's fate.
[laughter]
>> But you know, it could've
been a lot worse.
I mean dat--
Hey, it coulda been one of us
underneath dat snowblower.
>> No, I use a shovel.
[laughter]

>> Still,
it hits pretty close to home.

Jeez.
>> What?
>> A fella can go any time,
huh?
>> Um-hmm.
§ §
>> It's sorta like a big hook
just comes down.
[reeling noise]
§ §
§ In the wink of an eye §
§ We could be pulled up §
§ To da pie in the sky §
§ Far away §
§ Where the angelfish fly §
§ In the sweet bye and bye §
§ And the skies are not §
§ Cloudy all day §
§ §
§ What if you knew life §
§ Was through today? §
§ What is one day worth? §
§ What would you do §
§ With your last day on earth? §
§ §
§ I'd go to Green Bay §
§ Visit Lambeau Field §
§ And my Bonnie and me §
§ Would tailgate §
§ We'd cook burgers and brats §
§ On my new Weber grill §
§ And we'd kiss every bite §
§ Dat we ate §
§ I tink Debby and me §
§ Would bowl a few frames §
§ In de night §
§ Wid a light from above §
[laughter]
§ And a better ting yet §
§ While de pins were reset §
§ Dere in lane number three §
§ We'd make love §
§ And we'd golf on de snow §
§ At de Pitch and Putt §
§ And she might let me win §
§ Once or twice §
[laughter]
§ I would sit in the shanty §
§ And drink a few beers §
§ Shoot de bull wid §
§ De guys on the ice §
§ We would give to da poor §
§ Our snowmobile suits §
§ And my best pair of §
§ Blaze orange pants §
§ We would find polka tunes §
§ On da radio §
§ And Bonnie and me §
§ And Debbie and me §
§ Would dance §
§ §
§ In de wink of an eye §
§ We could be pulled up §
§ To da pie in the sky §
§ Far away §
§ Where de angelfish fly §
§ In the sweet by and by §
§ And the skies are not §
§ Cloudy all day §
§ §
[applause]

>> Say dere, Marv--
Marvin, you don't know anybody
dat might want a couple of
tickets to the Packer game
on Sunday, do ya?
I can't use em.

Da wife and I got an
anniversary.

>> Oh, I might know someone.
[laughter]
>> Yup.
Might dat someone know
anudder someone who might have
a certain tattoo somewhere?
[laughter]
>> He might.
[laughter]
>> Okay, den.
>> What? No, you don't
have to do that!
No!
>> Hey--
>> No!
>> Hey!
I know, it's done.
>> Well, thank you.
[Marvin weeps]
Oh, Packers, go Pack go!
>> Go, Pack go!
Hey, Marvin,
Marvin, here's to Cubby.
>> Oh, my gosh, Cubby!
Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.
>> Cub.
>> Yeah, Cubby.
[laughter]
Yeah, right.

>> Marvin.
>> What?
>> Do you think there's
ice fishin' in heaven?
>> Oh, ice fishing in heaven?
>> Yeah.

>> Ya know, why da heck not?
I mean, heaven is the udder side
of the fence from hell.
So if hell is all flames
and dat, then heaven
must be cold,
like Wisconsin.
So dere's ice fishing, yeah.
>> Yeah, I tink you got
the logic just right there.
>> Yeah, and dere's 50 pound
perch, no limit.
[laughter]
>> Yeah, and all the lakes
are beer.
>> Yeah, and all the beer
is Leinies.
>> Yeah, and 40 pounds
overweight is skinny.
[laugher]
>> Yeah, and dere's no
trombones, uh-uh.
[laughter]
>> Yeah,
and de Illinois toll boot's
give you money.
[laughter and applause]
>> Yeah, and no one dies,
they just go to Algoma
for da weekend.
[laughter]

>> And Jesus meets 'em there,
wearin' a green and gold
snowmobile suit.
>> Yeah, and he looks just
like Aaron Rodgers.
[cheers]
>> And every day,
every day is Packers Sunday.
[cheers and laughter]

>> Dat would be heaven.
[laughter]
[applause]

>> Ready?
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> Here we go.
[cheers and applause]
>> Well, not much to show, doe,
for a day on de ice, huh?
>> Yeah, but ya gotta spend
your eight hours somewhere.
>> Yup.
And dis is better den
a sharp stick in de eye.
>> Yeah, I guess so.
§ §
§ Life only lasts for a moment §
§ Feel the tug, set the hook §
§ And hold on §
§ Dere is always cold beer §
§ In da bucket §
§ When da fish dat §
§ We wished for is gone §
§ When da fish dat §
§ We wished for §
§ Da fish dat we wished for §
§ Da fish dat we wished for §
§ Is gone §
§ When da fish dat §
§ We wished for §
§ Da fish dat we wished for §
§ Da fish dat we wished for §
§ Is gone §
§ §
§ Love is the thing §
§ That you hope for §
§ Feel the tug in your heart §
§ And hold on §
§ So you better §
§ Have love in da ticker §
§ When da bait in da bucket §
§ Is gone §
§ When da bait in da bucket §
§ Da bait in da bucket §
§ Da bait in da bucket §
§ Is gone §
§ When da bait in da bucket §
§ Da bait in da bucket §
§ Da bait in da bucket §
§ Is gone §
[imitating hitting sounds]

[laughter]
>> Torque.
[laughing]
§ Life only lasts for a moment §
§ Feel the tug, set the hook §
§ And hold on §
§ Dere is always cold beer §
§ In da bucket §
§ When da fish dat §
§ We wished for is gone §
>> Well then, big guy,
I guess dat about does it.
>> Yup.
>> I'll see you on de
udder side.
>> Okie dokie.
>> Oh, Marv, by de way,
did you hear the one about the
one armed ice fisherman?
>> No, I didn't
>> Well, he caught a fish
that was this big .
[laughter]

>> Whatever.

[laughter]

Jeez!
[laughter]

[imitating Elvis]
Thank you very much.
[cheers and applause]

§ §

[telephone rings]

>> Hey dere, Lloyd?
>> Yeah.
>> Dis is Marvin.
>> Yeah.
>> Are you dere?
[laughter]
>> Yeah, yeah, Marv.
Just headin' off ta bed.
>> So how are things, huh?
>> Well, I stopped at Mick's
on the way home and
I picked up Debby some flowers,
dropped'em off over there
to the in-laws.
>> Mmm?
>> Yeah, she came ta de door.
>> Oh, yeah?
>> Yeah.
She even got a little weepy
when I told her I gave you
the Packer tickets.
>> So, is she dere?
>> No.
[laughter]
No, she's not here.
She wanted to give me a few days
to think about things
in my own mind.
[laughter]
Plus, I got all dem TV dinners.
[laughter]
But we got a date on Sunday.
>> Ooh, right.
Yeah.
>> Mm-hmm.
So did you--
>> I went to the Pick 'N Save.
>> Yeah?
>> I tell ya, a guy wit
Packer tickets don't have
to ask a girl twice.
[laughter]
>> Bonnie?
>> Bonnie, yeah.
>> Yeah.
Well, there ya go.
>> Yeah.
>> Not much to show, doe,
for a day of fishin'.
>> No, skunked.
But de last time I caught
a trout dat weighed 25 pounds.
>> Yeah?
Well, I caught a lantern,
and when I pulled her out
she was still lit.
[laughter]

>> Tell you what,
I'll take fifteen pounds
off the trout
if you blow out the lantern.
[laughter]

>> Sure thing.
>> 'Night, Lloyd!
See you on the ice.
>> See you on the ice, Marv.
>> Together: Yeah.
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]
§ §

§ §

>> Lead funding for Guys On Ice
provided in part by
MMG Foundation,
with additional support from
Dwight and Linda Davis
Foundation,
Ministry Door County
Medical Center,
Annie and Dick Egan,
Stanley J. Cottrill Fund,
Al Johnson's Swedish
Restaurant & Butik,
On Deck Clothing Company,
and Friends of
Wisconsin Public Television.
§ §