HI.
OH. [ CHUCKLES ]
MILWAUKEE, HUH?
I LOVE MINNESOTA.
HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANY IMPROVISATIONAL SKETCH COMEDY?
YES, MA'AM, I WAS IN A GROUP CALLED "BARRON'S BARRACUDAS" BACK EAST.
I WAS WITH THEM UP UNTIL I MOVED OUT HERE LAST FALL.
DID YOU HAPPEN TO SEE MY TAPE?
OH, I SAW IT ALL RIGHT.
AND I GOTTA TELL YOU, I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY STUPID.
EITHER THAT OR I DIDN'T GET IT.
OH, UM, WELL, I-I WAS TRYING TO MOCK
THE CONVENTIONS OF MAGIC AND --
STOP.
LISTEN. DON'T MOCK. DO FUNNY.
OKAY. WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU DONE?
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ] WELL, UH, I JUST DID MY FIRST COMMERCIAL.
NO. DON'T EVER DO COMMERCIALS.
GOD!
HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU YOU LOOK A LOT LIKE JAY LENO?
OR A SICKLY CHRIS PENN?
UH, WELL, UH, USUALLY I GET "TOM CRUISE."
[ CHUCKLES ]
NO.
MAYBE A HOMELY MEL GIBSON OR A YOUNG BEA ARTHUR.
YOU DO KNOW THAT YOU'RE WHITE, RIGHT?
UH...YES.
WELL, YOU DO KNOW THAT, COMEDIC ALLY SPEAKING
WHITE IS OUT AND BLACK IS IN, RIGHT?
NO, I -- I -- I-I DIDN'T...
HETERO?
YEAH.
ALSO OUT.
MAKES YOU A DOUBLE OUT. [ LAUGHS ]
TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT FAT OR BALD OR...
YOU ARE JOWLY...
WHICH IS GOOD.
BUT NOT SO JOWLY IN SUCH A WAY THAT SCREAMS
"I AM A FUNNY PERSON! BRRBRRBRR!"
[ LAUGHING ]
YOU'RE WHAT I CALL "PLEASANTLY UNATTRACTIVE."
>> You're what I call
"pleasantly unattractive."
I love it.
A clip from "Chump Change."
I'm Charles Monroe-Kane,
and this is Director's Cut.
"Chump Change" was written,
directed, and starring
Steve Burrows, so Steve,
you consider yourself
"pleasantly unattractive?"
>> I've been told by
several casting directors that
that is indeed the truth.
I actually made a living for the
first ten years of my life
out in LA as a pleasantly
unattractive young Bea Arthur.
>> So you're hope for us
in the Midwest, an unattractive
male in the Midwest.
>> You know what,
I'm giving it my best shot.
>> Thank you very much,
I appreciate it.
Real quick, you're
the writer, director, producer,
you've been out in LA a lot.
Pitch me, one minute.
What's "Chump Change" about?
>> One minute.
Um, it's a movie about a movie
about a movie, basically.
I wrote a movie for 20th Century
Fox called "Hook and Ladder," it
was a volunteer fireman movie,
and I hadn't planned on writing
that movie, but I went in with
my best ideas and the guy
poo-pooed every one of 'em.
He literally...
( raspberry )
He would do that.
I would say, I've got this idea
about this one guy, he's going
through a life crisis and he's
just divorced -
"Thpbt, next!"
This guy would actually
do that "thpbt."
So I go, okay, and I was told
that I would have
to go through a lot of ideas.
And I went through my B ideas
and my C ideas,
and he's like, "Come on, man.
All this stuff sucks,
give me something."
He goes,
"I want 'Police Academy.'
I want something
like 'Police Academy.'"
My father-in-law, at the time
was a volunteer fireman, and if
you knew him, that was sort of
funny, because you couldn't
imagine him actually doing
anything, putting out
a fire himself.
"What about volunteer fireman?"
He goes, "That's it!"
And that was it.
So I went home, there was a
message on my machine about,
my agent said, "You just sold
a major motion picture
called 'Hook and Ladder.'"
It had a title.
I had no characters.
I had no stories.
And I wrote the movie over
a summer, and it was without
question the single worst
professional experience
of my life.
So I decided to make that, the
writing of that movie, a movie.
And that's what
"Chump Change" is.
>> That's a good idea.
Of course, like any other great
American movie, this is a great
American movie, it starts in a
set with "Wheel of Fortune."
How does "Wheel of Fortune"
come into your story?
>> Well, when I first went to LA
with my wife about 20 years ago,
we had no money,
and just trying to figure out
how to make a buck.
And I saw, you could go on game
shows out there, and I thought,
well, I'm not gonna actually
qualify for "Jeopardy," clearly.
>> Fair enough.
>> So I thought,
I had this prejudice
that maybe "Wheel of Fortune"
was for, like, morons.
And I thought, seems like
I could win a lot of cash,
or exciting merchandise.
So I audition for the show,
I get right on.
And I proceed to become
the worst contestant
in the history of the show.
To this day, I am the worst
contestant, considered to be
the worst contestant ever.
I bought five consecutive vowels
and could not solve the puzzle.
I was on two shows, I was the
person they invited back for a
second show and couldn't, 'cause
the other two players tied,
so they felt pity on me, they
brought me back, and then I won
so little money at the end that
they had to lower the price
of the lowest-priced item
so I could go shopping.
>> Well, let's see your
fictional representation
of the nonfiction
of "Wheel of Fortune,"
so let's roll another clip.
[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]
YOU WANT THE "WHEEL" SPIEL?
ALL RIGHT. HERE'S THE CliffNotes VERSION.
BUT MUM'S THE WORD.
I COULD GO BACK TO THE HOOSEGOW FOR THIS.
ALL RIGHT.
THINGS WEREN'T GOING WELL
SO I HAD THIS COCKAMAMIE SCHEME TO WRITE A SCRIPT
MAIL IT TO AN AGENT, AND FAKE MY DEATH --
BECAUSE I'M AHEAD OF MY TIME,
AND IF I'M DEAD, IT'S MORE LIKELY TO SELL
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
ANYHOW, I NEED TO FINANCE MY FAKE DEATH
SO I AUDITION FOR THE "WHEEL OF FORTUNE"
SO I CAN WIN LARGE AMOUNTS OF CASH
AND/OR FABULOUSLY EXCITING MERCHANDISE, RIGHT?
BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY!
SO I GET ON THE SHOW BY TELLING 'EM...
MY NAME'S MILWAUKEE STEVE TOE
AND I'M A HOMEMAKER IN HOLLYWOOD. [ CHUCKLES ]
AND THEN I PROCEED TO GO DOWN LIKE THE HINDENBURG.
BIG MONEY, BABY. BRING IT ON!
[ Chuckling ] OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL, SUFFICE IT TO SAY
I WAS THE FIRST PLAYER IN THE HISTORY OF THE SHOW
TO BUY FIVE CONSECUTIVE VOWELS
AND STILL NOT BE ABLE TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE.
I'D WON SO LITTLE MONEY THEY HAD TO LOWER THE PRICE
OF THE LOWEST-PRICED ITEM JUST SO I COULD GO SHOPPING.
AND THEN ALL I COULD AFFORD WERE ROLLER SKATES.
I WAS ALSO THE FIRST CONTESTANT TO CURSE THE HOST ON THE AIR.
[ INHALES SHARPLY ] WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Steve: I'D RUN OUT OF VOWELS TO BUY, SO I TRIED TO INVOKE
THE "SOMETIMES 'Y'" CLAUSE.
"I'D LIKE TO BUY A 'Y,' PLEASE."
BUT THE HOST SAYS, "I'M SORRY, BUT 'Y' IS NOT A VOWEL."
AND I SAY, "I'M SORRY, BUT SOMETIMES IT IS."
AND HE SAYS, "NOT ON THIS SHOW, BUCKO."
SO I SAY, "WHATEVER, ---HOLE!"
[ CHUCKLES ] YOU USED THE BROWN WORD?
I WAS UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE.
IT SLIPPED.
>> Oh my God, that is
the funniest clip ever.
So how much of this is true?
>> Sadly, I would say probably
80% of the movie is true.
And the rest is embellishment,
but the general nugget of truth
is all there.
>> Wow.
So you really went on
the "Wheel of Fortune,"
you really bombed,
you really wrote a screenplay
called "Hook and Ladder"
that didn't work out.
>> That's correct, yeah.
>> It's brilliant.
>> Was sued by Merv Griffin
just as a matter of fact.
>> You were sued
by Merv Griffin?
That's awesome.
>> Who's done that before?
>> I've never been sued
by Merv Griffin.
>> It's not gonna happen
anymore, he's passed away, may
he rest in peace, but that gives
us hope because the short film
he made, "Soldier of Fortune."
>> I want to hear about
"Soldier of Fortune."
So tell me about
"Soldier of Fortune."
>> It's the actual show, it's
me on the show, the real show,
I took real clips of me failing
miserably on the show, intercut
it with new clips, and it did
very well at the film festivals.
And I think we won 29 film
festivals, then I got a letter
from Merv Griffin saying, "No."
>> Cease and desist, my friend.
>> But that actually ended up
getting me the movie deal
over at Fox.
Which led to "Chump Change,"
which led to my demise again.
Anyway.
>> There you go, I love it,
it's an LA story.
Now, interesting, this is all
set, this all happened to you
in LA, but you're from here,
you're Milwaukee Steve!
>> That's right.
>> Milwaukee boy.
What is the role of Wisconsin in
this film, because in that last
scene, you can see at a drive-in
movie theater, and it cuts back.
What's the role of Milwaukee
in "Chump Change"?
>> Well, the general view,
I worked with this great
cinematographer named Al Baker,
and he really loved the
opportunity to be able to shoot,
'cause we've seen LA millions of
times, and it's obviously a very
warm place, and sunny, but it's
a pretty cold, brutal place.
And I hadn't really seen
anything shot of Milwaukee,
certainly in the snow,
where we could actually give it
sort of that home fire
kind of thing.
It was really sort of the heart
of the movie.
We wanted to show that LA,
cold, brutal,
but warm weather-wise,
Wisconsin, freezing cold
but actually the true warmth
of humanity is there.
>> So when you brought all these
big LA people out, you've got
some pretty famous names filming
here, what was it like for them?
I'm sure a lot of people had
never been to Wisconsin before,
did you take them
to your local haunts?
>> We shot everything, we did
everything, we went bowling.
We did a lot of partaking
in the local beverages.
>> Excellent.
They must've loved it.
>> They loved it, except for
the week that we shot, it was
22 inches of snow, but it was
also minus-5 degree weather.
Some of these guys,
like Jerry Stiller, Anne Meara,
Fred Willard, in particular,
had never really felt
that kind of brutality
with the weather before.
I'm not sure they'll come back
in January.
>> I'm sure they won't.
>> But they had a great time.
>> One thing you do in the film,
which I just love, and talk
about a Midwestern boy doing
something, is not only do you
reference the chicken dance,
but you play the entire
chicken dance in the film.
We get that, and I just love it.
When you showed it
to your friends in LA,
not professionals, just friends,
they don't know what the hell
the chicken dance is.
It must've blown their minds.
>> They're actually convinced
that we're all intoxicated, and
some of us were, I wasn't,
but that scene is filmed
with family and friends,
and friends of friends,
and actually the musician there,
his name is Steve Meisner.
He's actually, he's sort of
the Mozart of polka.
And I asked him to be in it
because he's really the best
at what he does.
And I said, "Do you mind playing
the chicken?"
And he said, "I'm not gonna
play the chicken.
I don't play the chicken.
I'm an artist."
I said, "Dude, I'm sorry, but
the gig is actually the chicken,
we gotta do the chicken."
And he said, "I don't wanna
be filmed playing the chicken."
I said, "Just give it a shot."
And he was great doing it,
he ended up doing
the morning after song, as well.
But yeah, the chicken,
that was all Milwaukee,
a real place called
Russ and Darlene's Bar and Hall.
>> Russ and Darlene's.
You don't find a place
like Russ and Darlene's,
I don't think, in LA.
>> No, it's a polka hall.
>> It's a polka hall.
Well, I want to show,
there's a nice use of Wisconsin
in your next clip.
This is a clip from near the
beginning of the film.
Why don't you set it up for us?
>> Is this, which one?
>> The Mencken clip?
>> I'm sorry?
>> H.L. Mencken?
>> Oh right, yes, I'm sorry,
this is coming into Wisconsin,
this is the start of the whole
movie, and at this time, I think
we've never seen Wisconsin
literally from the border on
into Milwaukee in the dead of
winter, and I wanted to really
show the difference between LA
and Milwaukee and give people an
instant feel for what it's like
when you cross the border.
>> Let's see the role of
Wisconsin in "Chump Change."
H.L. MENCKEN CALLED L.A. THE "RECTUM OF CIVILIZATION."
IF THAT IS INDEED TRUE
THEN WISCONSIN IS CLEARLY ITS PIE HOLE.
EVERYTHING IN WISCONSIN
INVOLVES THE ACT OF EATING AND/OR DRINKING
AN ACT THAT USUALLY INVOLVES CHEESE AND/OR BEER.
THEY EVEN HAVE CHEESE BEER.
BUT YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER
NOR A PERSON BY HIS BLOATED BOOZE-SOAKED CARCASS.
JOSEPH McCARTHY, ED GEIN
AND JEFFREY DAHMER NOTWITHSTANDING
WISCONSINITES ARE GOOD PEOPLE.
I LOVE WISCONSIN.
THAT'S WHY, THREE DAYS EARLIER
I COPPED A RACINE LEAN AND HEADED FOR A PLACE
WHERE THE MIDEAST MEETS THE MIDWEST
SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE.
>> Yay, Wisconsin!
Yay, Wisconsin!
What a great film.
You were the lead actor
in this film,
you directed it, you wrote it.
What's it like, I'm curious,
it must be difficult to be
the director and the actor
in such a film,
'cause this is like your baby.
>> You know, for me, for some
reason, I think it's because
I started as a performer,
and I did that for so long
professionally, that--
I'm an improvisational actor,
too, I'm not really trained,
Shakespeare.
>> So you're doing
this improv right now?
>> This is all made up
right now.
>> Wow.
>> But you didn't get my script?
>> No, wow.
>> So the thing was, I tend to
know, I can't always tell when
it's good, but I always know
when it sucks badly.
>> That's good enough.
>> So I have this
sort of internal, like,
"That really was awful,
we need to do that again."
And because
I was essentially playing me,
it hopefully wasn't a stretch.
>> Yeah, how did you do,
were you like,
"This actor's terrible!"
>> I was forced to sleep
with the director.
>> Oh, were you?
How did that work out?
>> It didn't work out.
My wife is not happy about that.
( laughter )
>> Well, this film
is so nicely made,
I love the cinematography,
what was the budget for that,
what did it cost to do this?
I mean, I'm sure the actor
was extremely expensive,
and the director and the writer,
but other than that,
what did it cost?
>> The film actually cost,
we raised $500,000,
and the goal was to make it look
like it cost
about $2 or $3 million.
Which fortunately worked.
But the actors, all the actors
that you see here, Fred Willard,
Tim Matheson, Jerry Stiller,
Abe Vigoda, Traci Lords,
they all worked
for a Screen Actor's Guild
low-budget minimum,
which was $248 a day.
>> $248 a day?
Jerry Stiller, $248.
What does he make a day
doing "King of Queens"?
>> About $55,000 an episode.
>> Why?
>> Why does he make that money?
>> No, no, why were these guys,
that's a huge name.
You have some A-list
from that crowd in.
Why would they work
for $248 a day?
>> My producer told me that in
her experience, that if you try
to write a really good script,
with characters that actors will
want to play, they'll do it for
free, I mean, actors want to
work, and when you've got people
like we have, some really true
comedy legends, they've made
their money, they're not doing
it for, they want to have fun.
If they can come across,
if they can get laughs.
Comedy people want laughs.
>> Fred Willard,
he's got the mortgage paid off.
>> Absolutely.
>> He just wants
to make people laugh.
>> All he wants to do, none of
these people did it for money,
they did it because they thought
the script was promising,
the parts were on paper funny.
And once we got Tim Matheson
and Jerry Stiller,
all of a sudden,
we got Fred Willard.
Fred Willard would say,
"Who's in the movie?"
We'd say, "Jerry Stiller,
Tim Matheson."
All of a sudden, he's in.
And it just sort of cascaded.
And that was really
a big learning curve on how
to actually make the movie,
because we couldn't get
the money without the actors,
but we couldn't get the actors
without the money.
>> I can imagine that.
Now, of course, there's one
other really big name in this,
you have Traci Lords in this,
and for people who don't know,
Traci Lords
is a former porn star,
a very famous porn star.
She also stars in the film,
and not in
a porn star type role.
She, tell me about the Traci
Lords, Sam, she plays Sam.
Tell me about her role and what
it was like to work with her.
>> We needed, because Wisconsin
was gonna be kind of the heart
of the movie, and sort of from
the craziness, insanity of LA to
just someplace that's normal and
grounded, we wanted to find
someone who could really convey
that instantly, not only the
Midwest charm, but who was real.
>> And you choose a porn star?
>> Well, my casting director
said, "Traci Lords
is actually trying to do
some legitimate stuff."
I never saw any of her films,
I have to admit, but most
of my friends actually had,
and they said, "I don't know."
But I loved,
like in "Pulp Fiction,"
Travolta could not get hired
before that.
Once he did that movie,
all of a sudden he was back,
so I thought,
let's take a chance on her.
I brought her in, auditioned
her, and she couldn't have been
sweeter, more down to earth,
she basically was Sam.
She became Sam.
And, you know, the whole
porn thing went away, we got her
in a parka the whole movie.
>> Yeah, there's no revealing
clothes, she has a hat on,
and a parka the whole time.
>> Yeah, nobody really knows--
We actually found--
Her name was at the beginning
of the movie, Traci Lords.
And when we were testing the
film, we saw that people sort of
had a chip on their shoulder
at the beginning,
like "Traci Lords,
let's see how she does."
And about halfway through
the movie, they really started
responding to her.
But we sort of lost people
for half of the movie.
So my producer suggested
we move the credits to the end,
where they don't even know her.
>> I have to be honest.
I was waiting, and
I knew that Traci Lords,
I had all the press materials.
And I didn't know when I first
saw this character, we're gonna
see a clip in a second, I didn't
know that was Traci Lords.
And then I figured out later,
and I was like, how terrible of
me to have some stereotype that
she was gonna be a terrible
actor, I thought maybe she'd
play the bimbo from LA, but no,
she did this, so it's great.
I think we should see a clip.
Let's see Traci Lords
in action as Sam.
DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
NO. L.A.'s NOT EXACTLY THE BEST PLACE FOR DATING.
WHERE IS?
I'VE NEVER HAD MUCH LUCK ON THE COURTING FRONT.
[ SCOFFS ] PLEASE. WHO HAS?
COME ON. IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD.
SO, UH, WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE BEATLE?
RICHARD SPECK.
YOU MEAN RICHARD STARKEY.
WHO'S HE?
HE'S RINGO.
WELL, THEN, WHO'S RICHARD SPECK?
HE'S THAT GUY WHO KILLED SEVEN NURSES IN CHICAGO.
OH, JEEZ. REALLY?
THEN I GUESS I'LL TAKE GEORGE.
YOU EVER HAVE A GIRLFRIEND HERE?
AND I DON'T MEAN ONE OF THOSE OUT-OF-STATE GIRLFRIENDS
YOU MET ON SOME FAMILY VACATION.
WELL, UM...
I ALMOST MARRIED ONCE.
TWO WEEKS BEFORE, I CAUGHT HER WITH THE PASTOR.
[ CLICKS TONGUE ]
THAT'S A TRUE STORY.
BUT THAT IS ANOTHER STORY.
I'M SORRY.
OKAY, UPSY-DAISY HERE.
WELL, WILL YOU KIDS BE FURTHER GRUBBING TODAY?
WE GOT AN EXCELLENT LUNCHEON SPECIAL GOING.
IT'S THE OPEN-FACED PORK CHEESE FONDUE
WITH A FRUIT-FLAVORED KRINGLE FOR DESSERT. MMM.
COULD I HAVE THE MOCK CHICKEN LEG, PLAIN, PLEASE?
COIN CARROTS OR MEDLEY OF VEGETABLES?
NEITHER. JUST THE MOCK CHICKEN LEG, PLAIN.
ME TOO, PLEASE.
COIN CARROTS OR MEDLEY --
UH, UH, NO VEGGIES. JUST THE MEAT. PLAIN.
I LOVE A BIG CHUNK OF MEAT.
DO YOU LIKE GREEN BEANS?
THANKS, BUT NO THANKS.
PEAS? NEVER TRIED 'EM.
ASPARAGUS? WON'T.
CAULIFLOWER? COULDN'T PICK IT OUT OF A LINEUP.
I HATE VEGETABLES.
I DON'T KNOW HOW ANYONE COULD BE A VEGETARIAN.
ME NEITHER. I LOVE MEAT.
AND THESE VEGETARIANS, THEY GET UP ON THEIR HIGH HORSE
AND THEY TALK ABOUT HOW THEY DON'T KNOW
HOW ANYONE COULD EAT MEAT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW ANYONE COULD CHOKE DOWN A SQUASH.
I DON'T EAT PLANTS.
PERIOD. HMM.
I MEAN, I'M MORALLY OPPOSED TO THE CONSUMPTION
OF VEGETATION OF ANY KIND.
HEAR, HEAR.
HOW 'BOUT CONDIMENTS?
MMH. NEVER HAD 'EM, NEVER WILL.
I HATE KETCHUP. TAKE A NUMBER.
I DESPISE MUSTARD. PLEASE!
MAYONNAISE? COME ON.
HORSERADISH. I'M FINICKY!
COME ON! [ LAUGHS ]
>> Oh my God, that was so funny.
So, you said 80% of the film
was real, so was that part real?
>> That is, like 100% real.
>> You don't like ketchup?
>> No, my wife and I, we met on
a plane at O'Hare, and happened
to be sitting next to her, and
she starts picking at her food,
and I start picking at my food.
And I said,
"You don't like ketchup?"
She's like, "I hate ketchup."
I said, "I hate ketchup.
Don't like mustard?"
She goes, "Never had it!"
"Mayonnaise?"
"Don't even know
what you're talking about."
"Fruits?"
"Eh."
"Vegetables?"
"Eh."
>> No sauerkraut
on your bratwurst?
>> Never had sauerkraut.
>> Oh, good man.
>> If it's spreadable,
if it oozes, generally,
for both of us, we don't like
our foods to touch and stuff.
It's just a match
made in heaven, we've been
together for 21 years.
>> Match made in heaven,
non-condiment match made
in heaven, I love it.
>> Plain.
>> Let's go back to your film,
I want to read something to you,
I want to read
some reviews of your film.
This is a review
from the LA Weekly.
It said, "Critics choice.
Clever and genuinely funny."
The Hollywood Reporter,
very influential,
gave it a glowing review
and said it was witty and that
it was "an absolute party."
Entertainment Weekly gave it
an "A", the film won Best
Comedy and Best Screenplay,
Sundance Festival,
Traci Lords won
for Best Actress,
the HBO Comedy Festival.
And that's, I remember reading
reviews just on and on of this
glowing, glowing reviews.
Miramax was your distributor for
this film, you got
all those glowing reviews,
huge names in it.
Boom, you got sent straight
to DVD, never went to theaters.
What happened,
I don't understand.
>> You know what,
I was gonna ask you
if you could explain it to me.
The truth is, in the movie, in
reality, when I was writing the
"Hook and Ladder" movie, the
movie was green-lit, and then
my studio executive in real life
was fired, another one
was jailed, and a third
was actually, unfortunately
he died in a car accident.
That's in real life.
So that movie ended right there,
so crazy, over-the-top, made
"Chump Change" about it, made
the crazy movie, Miramax sees it
at the HBO comedy fest,
wonderful studio executives over
there, they buy the film and two
months later, our main
studio executive was fired.
It was almost like we went from
art imitating life to now
life was imitating art again.
And I was told when our studio
executive at Miramax lost his
job that we were in trouble,
because at every studio you need
a champion to sort of
push you through the system,
and he was gone.
A new guy came in,
and he responded to the movie,
but he had other films
like "Gangs of New York,"
some guy named Scorcese,
I don't really know who he is.
And everything was good again,
and then that guy, the Weinstein
brothers at the time, they don't
own Miramax anymore,
but they would go through
a lot of people.
And we just sort of got caught
in the executive shuffle.
>> So bizarre, I mean,
your reviews were glowing,
it's amazing.
>> Yeah.
>> You live in LA, you still
live in LA, you're a Wisconsin
boy moved out to LA.
We have a lot of people on the
show, I always ask them
if they want to go out to LA,
which you did.
You go out to LA,
you're successful out there,
you do this film.
You show in your film,
and when you talk,
it's a vapid place, it can be.
The industry you're in
can be quite vapid.
>> It is, yeah.
>> It can be ego-driven,
it can be brutal in a way.
But you're still out there.
Why are you in LA,
why can't you make your movie
back home with us?
>> Well, the idea, it's just
because the system out there,
the system's sort of rigged.
It's just, if you want to
seriously do films that are
gonna be seen or released, the
money is generally out there.
That doesn't mean you can't make
a film anywhere, you can't make
a film for a certain kind of
budget, but in my experience,
the people who get
to actors like we had,
for instance, everyone's
just sort of out there.
The idea is, once you get to a
certain level, then you can sort
of live wherever you want
to live.
Like, Harrison Ford
lives in Montana,
he doesn't even come to LA
unless he's shooting something.
But that's sort of the plan
for us.
We would like to come back to
the Midwest, we need another
movie or two under our belt, but
I think we're gonna get there,
I'm writing a couple of them
right now.
But it's sort of a tough thing
because, like you said,
vapid, brutal.
It's all true.
It's superficial
and it's largely boring,
and mind-numbing.
It's like white noise
at all times.
>> God, sounds wonderful.
>> But it is 77 degrees
at all times, too.
>> That's true, good enough
for me right there.
Before we go, I really, speaking
of vapid, I want you to set up
this next clip for us.
This clip, I think this is
the clip of Simon Says,
rules of comedy.
Set up the clip for me, this is
the one I think I want to share
with people because
this is absolutely hilarious.
>> Thank you, this is, I would
say, probably 80% based on
truth, my studio executive on
the "Hook and Ladder" movie, at
20th Century Fox, every day I'd
go in to have meetings with him.
And he'd say to me,
"Hey, did I ever tell you
what I think's funny,
what the rules of comedy are?"
And I heard this every day,
but I'd have to pretend,
"No, I never really have heard
you do this spiel."
And he goes, "I'll tell you
what's funny."
He goes, "People getting
whacked in the crotch,
that's funny. Eh!"
He would do this.
"Eh!"
"People getting whacked in the
head, funny!"
And I'd have to pretend
to like, "Oh, okay, yeah."
And I was making
this volunteer fireman movie,
and he's like, "You cannot have
enough people getting whacked in
the head, whacked in the crotch.
I want people on ladders getting
whacked in the crotch, I want
people, hoses whacking people
with water in the crotch
and in the head,"
and then he goes, this one bit,
he goes, for instance,
"Grandpa.
Grandpa getting whacked
in the crotch."
He goes, "It's funny."
He goes, "Grandma getting
whacked in the crotch,
that's not funny.
But Grandma getting whacked in
the head, very funny,
don't ask me why."
And then I realize, not only
is he a moron, he's actually
saying the truth as well.
So I start writing this down.
And Tim Matheson plays the
studio executive in the movie,
giving me his version of what's
funny, what's not funny,
the rules of comedy.
>> Well, let's see
the rules of comedy.
YOU LIKE HEAD WHACKS?
"HEAD WHACKS"?
[ LAUGHS ]
WHACKS TO THE HEAD.
SOMETIMES.
[ LAUGHS ] YOU KNOW, FOR ME
YOU CAN'T HAVE ENOUGH HEAD WHACKS
AND CROTCH WHACKS IN THIS PICTURE.
I WANT PEOPLE GETTING WHACKED IN THE HEAD
AND WHACKED IN THE CROTCH ON A REGULAR BASIS.
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY.
HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT MY THEORIES ON COMEDY?
I-I DON'T THINK SO.
THESE ARE THE RULES OF COMEDY, OKAY?
FOR INSTANCE...
RIGHT PLACE, WRONG TIME, FUNNY.
WRONG PLACE, RIGHT TIME, FUNNY.
WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME. NOT FUNNY.
STUPID, FUNNY. RETARDED, NOT FUNNY.
FAT, FUNNY. BALD, FUNNY.
HAIR, NOT FUNNY.
BUT TOUPEES AND WIGS, VERY FUNNY.
DON'T ASK ME WHY.
FALLING DOWN IS FUNNY. OLD IS FUNNY.
GRANDPA, FUNNY. GRANDMA, FUNNY.
GRANDPA GETTING WHACKED IN THE CROTCH, FUNNY.
GRANDMA GETTING WHACKED IN THE CROTCH, NOT FUNNY.
BUT GRANDMA GETTING WHACKED IN THE HEAD, VERY FUNNY.
DON'T ASK ME WHY.
FARTING IS ALWAYS FUNNY.
FARTING AT INOPPORTUNE TIMES, KILLER FUNNY.
PETS PEEING ON THEIR OWNERS, FUNNY.
OWNERS PEEING ON THEIR PETS, NOT FUNNY.
BUT BODILY FUNCTIONS BY PETS AND PEOPLE
IN GENERAL, VERY FUNNY, ALL THE TIME.
DON'T ASK ME WHY. [ LAUGHS ]
WELL, I'LL BE.
IS THAT COOL? AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
'CAUSE IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO PHYSICAL COMEDY.
I LOVE PHYSICAL COMEDY BECAUSE IT'S SO...SO...
PHYSICAL.
YOU SEE A MAN WALKING DOWN THE STREET.
CUT TO A SHOT OF A MANHOLE COVER.
YOU ASSUME HE'S GONNA FALL THROUGH.
THAT'S SUSPENSE.
BUT WHEN HE STEPS OVER THE MANHOLE -- BOOM!
GETS HIT BY A BUS. THAT'S COMEDY!
BOY, YOU REALLY SHOULD BE WRITING THIS DOWN.
>> That is some solid advice,
you all should be
writing this down.
Steve, it is a hilarious film,
thank you very much.
And thanks everyone, everyone
for watching.
Break a leg.
Make Wisconsin proud.
>> Thank you.
>> Fun for all of us.
Anyway, thanks for watching
Director's Cut.
For more information
on this film, "Chump Change,"
please go to our Web site.
wpt.org/directorscut.
And while you're there, send us
an email, 'cause we absolutely
love hearing from you.
I'm your host,
Charles Monroe-Kane,
and for everyone here
at Director's Cut,
thanks very much for joining us.
Check the gate.
CUT, CUT. EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND.
UH...MILWAUKEE.
YEAH, NOW...
I SEE YOUR CHARACTER AS PROBABLY COMING FROM A BROKEN HOME.
SO...
I-I-I-I DON'T WANT YOU TO SAY IT.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO SHOW IT.
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW IT, OKAY?
OKAY. OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
UM, PERHAPS YOU COULD SCRATCH
YOUR GROIN AREA OCCASIONALLY, HMM?
I'LL JUST LEAVE THAT UP TO YOU.