? ?
>> April 6th was
a very, very crazy day.
All I remember is waking up
that morning
and all of a sudden,
just hearing "crack, crack,
crack, crack."
And I thought,
oh yeah, it's on.
( bombing )
( machine gun fire )
And then the first convoy
came back with all the dead
in it.
They pulled into the squad bay,
and I remember looking
into the back of the Humvee.
I didn't understand what I saw.
It was just a picture
that will never leave my mind.
A pile of bodies,
about seven or eight Marines,
just with
their green skivvies on,
their cami's
and their cami boots,
just laying there lifeless.
And I had no idea
that one of them was Ryan.
But it was.
>> Hi, and welcome
to Director's Cut.
I'm your host,
Charles Monroe-Kane.
Here at Director's Cut,
we're dedicated to bringing you
the best in independent films
and filmmakers.
This week, a film documenting
the ultimate price a family pays
for war, the death of a child.
The film is called "Jerabek."
It documents the Jerabek family
as they struggle to cope with
the death of Ryan Jerabek.
He was killed in Iraq
on April 6, 2004.
"Jerabek" was produced by Steve
Levin.
Steve, thank you very much for
being here today.
>> Glad to be here.
>> So first, can you tell me
about the Jerabek family?
Really, it's not just a film
about Ryan, but it's about the
family.
>> Absolutely.
The film focuses not just on
Ryan, but how the family deals
with his death on April 6.
We chronicle that over two
years, a little over a two-year
period.
>> How did you first meet the
family?
>> I first met the family at the
time I was working for the local
newspaper.
>> In Green Bay.
And I was on a team that
unfortunately went out to cover
deaths and casualties of local
folks, that got injured or
killed in the war.
And on that particular day, two
local folks got killed,
Jesse Thiry and Ryan Jerabek.
And it was on that day when the
Jerabeks were notified that I
went out.
And that's when I first met the
family.
It's kind of, you're kind of
blind-sided.
You go out there.
I remember driving up to the
driveway.
Ken was out pacing
the front yard, on his phone.
And you know, it's a touchy
situation, because you don't
want to intrude.
And you spend a lot of time,
just as a person,
person to person,
so they get to know you before,
you know, you can start.
>> Before the camera comes on.
It's interesting to me.
At this point in the war, more
than 4,300 Marines and soldiers
have died in the war.
But this film is 76 minutes
about one soldier.
Why focus on one?
What was the intent for you?
Why did you think that was
important?
>> Well, at the time, I kind of
felt, there were two different
things.
I felt like the community really
reacted to his death in what I
thought was an unusual way.
I mean, we had hundreds and
hundreds of people calling and
responding to the stories and
the photos that we did on him,
that didn't even know him.
And I thought, why is this.
And that was the second part.
It was at a point in the war
where you know, it was kind of a
struggle to even get statistics
each day.
People lost interest in how many
people were killed.
You know, it was a little after
a year that Bush had declared an
end to the major combat
operations.
>> So, mission accomplished.
>> Mission accomplished.
But there were still people
being killed.
And it came home.
And I thought it deserved a lot
more attention.
>> Before we see another clip, I
think it's important for people
to have a little bit of history
lesson here.
April 6, 2004.
Tell us what happened that day.
>> Well, in a nutshell, a couple
things happened.
There was a sniper unit that was
out.
And it was being overrun.
They had called in for
reinforcements.
Well, the reinforcements that
came in to help them out got
overrun.
And so, they called in Ryan's
folks.
And about 30 of them responded
to it.
That's kind of what happened in
a nutshell.
When they got there, what they
discovered is that they had
walked into a very organized
ambush.
And what we learned later is
that it was one of the best
organized insurgent, you know,
battles, that they had ever
fought.
They didn't expect it.
>> It's also considered by many
as the first.
The first insurgent organized
battle.
And they were set up in an
ambush.
They killed how many?
How many were killed that day?
>> Well, at that point, this was
more Marines than any other day
during the war.
There were ten in Ryan's company
and two more.
So 12 altogether.
>> We're going to show another
clip.
This is a clip from your film
that shows the perspective of
some of the others in Ryan's
company talking about April 6,
2004.
Let's roll that clip.
>> April 6th was pretty much
the turning point for Echo 2-4.
At that point,
we just completely gave up
trying to help the Iraqi people.
Our mission went
from trying to save Iraq
to just trying
to get everybody home safely.
We just kind of turned cold,
I would say.
We still had a job to do,
and we would do that job,
but it wasn't a job
that we wanted to do
like before.
>> All the Marines at our level,
pretty much, we said, you know,
we give these people money,
we give them soccer balls,
we give them food, water,
we gave them a lot of stuff.
Then they turn around
and backstab us.
All the locals, they knew
that there was gonna be
an attack that day.
They were all staying
in their houses.
They all shut down their shops.
So they knew
what was gonna happen.
They never told us
anything about it.
After that,
we didn't care anymore.
They're gonna mess with us,
we'll kill 'em.
>> A clip from "Jerabek."
Not exactly a group of guys out
to win hearts and minds.
What was it like filming these
guys now that they're back?
>> Well, it was a struggle
to get a lot of them, to first
of all, to locate all of them.
They came back, and a lot of
them didn't want to be on
camera, didn't want to talk
about it.
Ryan, as you'll see in the film,
was loved by everybody.
>> He was very well respected.
>> Very well respected.
He was kind of the jokester.
He had started this diary,
this short story.
And in it, he would use
characters of his friends.
And he would read that to them
when they got back from these
missions and these patrols.
And that would kind of be light
moments.
Nobody knew.
>> The one guy said in the film
on the ride back from a battle,
it's what he looked forward to.
>> He looked forward to it.
>> To Ryan's stories.
>> So to get in touch with them
was difficult, but once we did,
everybody wanted help us tell
Ryan's story, tell who he was.
And once we got them on camera,
it kind of came out.
It was almost like therapy,
I think, for them.
>> Sure.
The community, you said people
came out in droves for the
funeral and really responded,
peopled who did not know him.
And you spoke to his friends and
those people.
Why? Why?
I can understand why his friends
respected him, and that makes
sense.
But he's become, is he a hero
in Green Bay?
>> I think he's one of the
heroes in Green Bay.
He's certainly a hero to his
family and friends, and close
friends.
But I think he touched a nerve
in that the war finally came
home.
People were watching this on the
news every night, and they knew
that we had soldiers over there.
But until they heard it, hey,
this guy lives in Hobart, this
guy lives in Green Bay, he's one
of us.
I mean, I heard estimates of
1,400 people, including
dignitaries, senators.
The governor was there.
I mean, everybody came out.
That was one of the unusual
things.
You know, why is this happening?
Why did this guy touch so many
people's lives?
And I think it's because of the
kind of person he was.
>> Yeah, I was going to say it's
because he was Ryan Jerabek.
He seemed like the kind of guy.
It's the best and brightest,
you know.
It's interesting to watch the
film.
It's like, okay, we lost one of
the best and brightest.
>> Exactly.
He was going to be a history
teacher.
He wasn't a bully in school.
He was liked by everybody.
That made a big difference.
>> Of course your film, we've
been talking about Ryan.
We talked about April 6, 2004.
That's important.
But the film really in some ways
is not only about the Jerabek
family.
It's really about his mom, who's
really, really coping with the
death of her son.
It's her middle child.
She's coping with the death of
her son.
Tell me a little bit about
Ryan's mom, I mean,
>> Ryan's whole family, you
know, his mom in particular.
It's got to be difficult.
It's not the first child
she lost.
You learn in the film that she
lost her daughter to disease
before.
But you know, I can't imagine as
a parent what it would be like
to lose one of your kids.
The only thing I can imagine is
that it would be the worst thing
in the world.
You'd be totally devastated.
And how, you know, everybody
deals with it in a different
way.
And her, Rita, I think was the
hardest person.
>> Her name's Rita.
>> Rita.
She was the hardest person
to sell on this project.
Hey, we're going to be
following you around.
We're going to be doing intimate
moments.
For this to work, we have to
know how you feel.
And you know, to her credit
and to Ken's credit, you know,
everybody's credit in the
family, I think they let us in.
>> I think they did, too.
I'm going to show another clip
of Rita, and how she has dealt
with it.
There's many ways she deals
with the death of Ryan.
And this is one of the ways
that she deals with it.
Here's another clip
from "Jerabek."
>> Some of the things
are just really hard
to get rid of.
Like some of the packaging
for instance,
"return to sender."
His books, his training books
from the Marine Corps.
His hats, his maps,
his batteries.
His fatigues.
His earplugs and pencils,
and even the brush that he used
to scrub the floor
when he was in boot camp.
>> Nick: Our house
didn't used to be like that.
And within a few weeks,
a month, it started changing.
When I would come up and go,
like look around upstairs,
you'd see all this
Marine Corps stuff.
And just, for a while,
it kind of was overwhelming.
My parents sometimes are just
so like sucked up in this
right now.
They're trying to heal
as best they can.
I think sometimes, just like,
they kind of notice I'm there,
but sometimes don't.
So it's kind of like,
I'm just like there, but not.
And sometimes they notice me,
and I'm there,
and they keep talking to me.
I just want them
to go away sometimes, but...
Day by day, I have
different feelings, and things.
Some days, I'll stop
and look at the fridge,
and look at all the pictures,
and always think about him.
And one day I won't want
to even look at them, and stuff.
Sometimes I feel like
I just gotta get out of here.
>> Another clip from "Jerabek."
Tell me about the day.
This was all from one day.
Tell me about that day.
>> Well, that day was very
difficult.
A lot of these times, we didn't
obviously stay with them day
after day after day.
We hit them, you know, every few
months, whenever there was
something going on,
anniversaries and things like
that.
This particular day was very
difficult.
We reached a point in the
filming where we felt like Rita
was still guarded.
She was still being guarded.
We didn't get the true meaning
of what this meant to her.
During that scene, that clip we
just showed, Ken was obviously
in the room.
It became very emotional, so
emotional that Ken had to leave.
And then he actually came back
and asked us to leave.
>> Wow.
>> So this is it.
Rita broke down.
>> Emotionally broke down.
And then I went and talked to
Ken.
Ken had told me about a year
into the filming that, you know,
I wasn't an outsider anymore.
I was one of the family.
And I reminded him of that.
I said, you know, Ken, we're not
going to leave.
I said you invited me in here.
I'm one of the family.
This is what families do.
We talk about things like this.
And we continued on.
And you know, we got Rita to
tell us how she felt.
We got Ken to talk about it.
And then we sat down with Nick.
>> Nick is the younger son.
>> Yeah, Nick, oddly enough,
decided--
When we finished the film, he
still hadn't decided whether he
was going to join up or not.
He did join up.
He's almost into his second
year.
He's at Camp Lejuene, driving
trucks, which is good.
He hasn't seen combat yet,
and hopefully will not.
But I think it was very telling,
what he had to say about not
only growing up spending his
last year in this environment,
but you know, how he felt.
I don't think he knew
how he felt.
>> No.
He's 16 or 17 in the clip,
right?
>> Yeah, 17.
>> That's really young, to have
your older brother die, and then
your home becomes this Marines
shrine.
And then your parents are trying
to get over grief.
Then you've got you guys in
there with cameras.
>> Cameras, and he moved into
Ryan's old room downstairs.
So he kept a lot of Ryan's stuff
up there.
>> Was anything off limits?
Did the family say, no, we're
not going there.
Don't ask.
You know, you're not allowed to
go into this room?
>> No, nothing was off limits.
I mean, we had the respect
enough to know what to ask,
where to go, what to do.
I mean, we weren't going to
abuse our privilege there.
And no, really, they talked
about anything we asked them to
talk about.
>> One of the things, we're
going to show a clip now.
One of the things you talked to
them about, which I found very
powerful in the film, was their
opinions on Ryan joining the
Marine Corps in the first place.
This is a clip of Ken and Rita
talking about how they feel
about Ryan joining the Marine
Corps.
Let's roll that clip.
>> When he wanted to join
the Marine Corps,
I knew he was in trouble.
I didn't want him
joining the armed forces,
I'd rather have seen him
got into college,
he was so intelligent, so smart.
But he says, nope, he says,
"Dad, I'm gonna serve
the country first before I go."
And that was his dream.
To become a Marine.
What do you do?
What do you do as a father?
Knowing, being a veteran,
seeing so much,
seeing the aftermath
of a war like Vietnam.
What do you do as a father?
>> I think that after 9/11
he even withdrew a little bit.
And I was a little bit worried
about how quiet he had gotten.
Because he was spending
more and more time down here.
But I think in the background,
a lot of it was that he decided
that he was going to join
the Marine Corps.
And he didn't know
how to tell us.
>> Rita and I,
we talked about it.
Should we let him?
Shouldn't we let him?
But he was so confident
and that's what he wanted to be.
Is a Marine.
He wanted to go there first.
And I told Rita,
"Man, this kid
is not gonna expect,
this is tougher
than he thinks it's gonna be.
This is no game."
>> This is no game,
from Ryan's father.
You know, as I watched your
film, as I went through watching
it, I was waiting for the family
to turn.
The change.
You covered them for two years.
I was waiting for them to go the
Cindy Sheehan route, right, to
go the anti-war route, or at
least to get angry at the
Marines for taking their son
away.
Some analysis of what happened.
Never.
They stayed dead hard true to
the Marines.
Why do you think that is?
>> Well, I think their
dedication to the Marines is
kind of a manifestation of their
grief.
This is how they deal with it.
I mean, if we can imagine,
how could they--
By them coming down on the
Marines, they're almost
believing themselves that their
son's death was a waste, that he
died in vain.
>> I can't imagine doing that.
>> You can't do that.
So, I think their support just
got stronger and stronger.
It was always there, but it just
got stronger, and continues to
this day.
>> I'm not a psychologist, but I
know there are stages of grief,
right.
And they seem to have not gone
through the anger stage, which
you've got to go through, I
think.
It seems like they're staying in
the initial stages.
Were you surprised that they
never, it was never questioned?
There was never anything
political in what they did.
That didn't surprise you?
>> No, it doesn't surprise me.
At some point, it was a
frustration.
Toward the end of the film,
that's why we kind of had that
final couple filming days, where
we said, Rita, we're still at
this point where people are
going to ask exactly what you
asked.
And we need to answer that
question.
And we got some footage from her
that we didn't use in the film.
But basically, a lot of what I
think is guarded behavior from
Rita is because this is the
worst thing that could possibly
happen to her, and she doesn't
want anybody else to know that
it's affected more than just
Ryan, that it's affected her
whole family.
>> Speaking of her whole family,
I mean, there's another
character in the film that I
have to be honest, broke my
heart.
And that's Nick.
Nick was Ryan's younger brother.
Tell me, we're going to see a
clip from that, but we need to
know who Nick is.
Tell me a little about Nick as
a person and what Nick's like.
>> Well, I think Nick is not
unlike your typical,
when I was introduced to him,
your typical 17- or 18-year-old.
You know, very idealistic.
Not a clear idea where he wants
to go, where he wants to take
his life.
This couldn't have come, you
know, if you could make it come
at any time, but this came at a
terrible time.
And a time when he was needing
attention, too.
And his folks just didn't.
That's got to be a terrible
thing, too, you know, we know
our son needs us, but we have
our own grief.
So it's a terrible stage.
But honestly, Nick used to talk
to Ryan about joining up.
It wasn't a farfetched idea for
him to join.
>> Right.
>> I think the struggle and the
conflict that Nick had was, can
I do this to my parents.
That was a big struggle.
>> Well, I want to show what I
think is the most powerful clip
of the film.
And to me, it's Nick at the
recruiter's office, talking to
the recruiter, which is an
amazing bit of filmmaking, by
the way.
At the recruiter's office
talking about if he's going to
join the Marines or not.
Let's roll that clip.
? ?
>> How you doing?
>> Hey.
>> How are you?
>> Good, how are you?
>> Good.
Good to see you.
>> Nice to see you, too.
>> First off, do you know
the qualifications
on what you have to do,
what is required
to become eligible?
>> Nope.
>> Not at all?
>> Mm-mm.
>> You gotta be able to pass
the Armed Services Vocational
Aptitude Battery Test.
Minimum score is a 31,
perfect score would be a 99.
Have you taken that yet?
>> No, I haven't.
>> Do you foresee yourself
doing anything in particular?
You like mechanics, electronics?
>> I was thinking more
maybe going infantry,
or going into
the armory division.
>> Infantry or armory division?
Why do you pick those?
>> I don't know.
It's something that,
just they're the only ones
I've really looked at, so...
>> Okay.
Do those excite you at all?
>> Yeah, I like the whole,
gunning the big tanks
and big infantry.
My brother did that
and stuff, too.
>> Sure.
When are you looking at leaving?
Do you have any idea
when you would?
>> I would be probably
signing up in November,
November 15th-ish.
>> November 15th?
Around deer hunting time?
>> Yep.
My Dad wanted me
to get one more season
in with him, so.
>> Okay.
>> I am truly not sure
what's driving Nick
to be compelled to do this.
By just asking each day
for a little bit more time,
and a little bit more time,
maybe his decision will change.
I think our family
has given a lot of service
to our nation.
Nick does not have to go.
>> You know, I hear
at the end of that clip--
A powerful clip.
Amazing access in
the recruiter's office.
But then, mom says, I don't know
why Nick wants to join the
Marine Corps.
But her home is a shrine to the
Marines.
That home looks like the Marines
are the greatest things since
sliced bread.
And she doesn't know why.
It's almost like her grief for
Ryan is driving Nick to the
Marines.
>> You know, that's an
interesting question.
I've talked to her off-camera,
and Ken, about this, too.
I guess if you grow up in that
environment, it's easy to see,
yeah, he has only one path
available to him.
But it wasn't like that.
They outlined his options.
He knew his options.
At one point, he was thinking
about going to firefighter
school and becoming a fireman.
I think the only person that can
answer why Nick joined is Nick.
And a lot of the reasons, I
don't think, have anything to do
with his brother.
I think it's something he always
wanted to do.
I think he feels that it's as
important to serve his country
as Ryan felt that it was.
And he knew going in that it
wasn't all a vacation.
>> Sure, he knew.
He knew the ultimate price.
>> And he knew what could
happen.
I mean, thankfully, it hasn't
happened yet.
He hasn't been deployed.
>> It would absolutely break his
mother and father's heart.
>> Right.
>> I want to ask you a different
question.
Because it's interesting to me.
You spent two years.
From the funeral, from the day
they were notified, with the
camera, to the funeral, to two
years with this family, to the
younger kid joining, and then
making a film.
So you were editing and being
inside that.
What do you come out of this,
about the war, about the family?
What do you take away for
yourself?
>> Well, for myself, I can't
tell you enough how much I
respect the family, and how
unbelievable I think this family
is.
This is an amazingly loving
family.
They all love each other.
They all support each other.
Support is a big thing.
They would support Nick if he
decided, or if he didn't decide.
Whatever he decided to do, they
would be behind him 100%.
To go through the kind of
gut wrenching, or life ending
tragedies that they've been
through, and to still have the
amount of love that you feel
every time that you walk into
that house, is amazing to me.
And it's something that, you
know, you can aspire to.
>> I think you said at one point
that they told you, that Ken
told you, that you were part of
the family.
>> Right.
>> Did you feel grief?
Did you become a part?
Did you experience Ryan's death
as a member of your family?
>> Well, I didn't get to that
stage until late in the filming
of this.
Early on, I didn't because as a
journalist, I keep myself
detached.
Otherwise, it would be very
devastating.
It would be hard to do, not to
get involved.
But you can't help but get
involved.
>> Sure, two years is a long
time to be with them.
So for you, in the end, you do
feel, you become attached?
>> Yeah, you become attached.
It becomes very emotional.
Your good-byes with the Jerabeks
are not a professional good-bye,
we'll see you later.
They're hugs and kisses.
And there's tears.
>> But there's nothing wrong
with that as a documentary
filmmaker, is there?
>> I don't think so.
I mean, the first time I saw the
film on the big screen, I wasn't
tearing up because it was on the
big screen.
I was tearing up because of the
emotion of these folks, and that
I felt privileged that we were
able to be a part of that.
>> Yeah, I feel like I've seen a
lot.
I've read a lot and seen a lot
of accounts.
And this is the film that I
think was the most intimate for
me in understanding the family
side.
And I think I finally got a
little slice of that, of the
ultimate price that someone
pays.
>> And that's good.
Because that was our goal.
It's more than just about
the death of Ryan, it's about
how it affects everybody.
>> It's still affecting them
today.
>> Yeah.
>> Thank you very much.
>> Sure.
>> I really appreciate
you making the film.
And thank you all
for joining us today.
Thank you for watching
Director's Cut.
For more information
on "Jerabek," please go to:
www.wpt.org/directorscut
While you're there,
send us an email, because
we love hearing from you.
I'm your host,
Charles Monroe-Kane.
For everyone here
at Director's Cut, thank you
very much for joining us.
Check the gate.
( goose call )
>> Wow, look at that sky!
You're gonna miss this,
I know you are.
This is a big party.
I'd rather see you home here,
working.
But you gotta do
what you gotta do.
I'm not gonna stand in your way.
You're 18.
I know Ma's nervous,
she's really nervous.
>> Mm-hmm.
You know I've thought about it
already.
>> I know you have.
I know you have.