- Due to language and adult situations,
the following film is intended for mature audiences
and not suitable for children.
Viewer discretion is advised.
? ?
- Milwaukee's Hoan Bridge opened to traffic in 1977.
It has been the site of over 30 suicides since 2000.
Hoan Alone
Personal Stories from the Bridge
- Dr. Tony: Why are you making this film?
- Aaron: Last year,
I drove over the Hoan Bridge on two separate occasions...
where I saw
a person standing on the edge ready to jump.
And when you see that
you immediately ask yourself all these questions.
One of them being,
"How does a person get to that point?"
- Dave: Ahhh, the hardest thing I've ever had to do...
Get over a girl.
I went out with this girl for seven years.
She comes home one day and she's like,
"I just can't do this anymore"
From one day we're lovers
and the next day we're roommates.
It wasn't until then that I started spiraling down.
That's when all the negative self thought comes in.
You think you're worthless
and no one's going to love you again.
I was depressed and I had a motorcycle.
I was just cruising around one day.
I was driving over the Hoan and I was just like,
"Man, I could crash right here
and it would just look like an accident"
Then I would drive by and kind of scope places out.
I credit one of the people that saved me
was somebody I didn't even know.
Sometimes, when you don't know somebody
you're a little more apt to share a lot of personal stuff.
We were working alongside one another
and I told him about what I was going through.
And he's the guy that taught me Reiki.
My family didn't know I was depressed.
My friends, my coworkers...
I didn't tell anyone.
And I think that's where the problem lies.
Be open and be honest
with the people that are around you.
[water current flowing]
[rain falling]
- Did you stop when you saw somebody standing on the bridge?
- Dave: I did not.
Fortunately, in both situations,
there were already people there.
People like John.
- John: I'm a deputy chief on the Milwaukee Fire Department,
Marine corps veteran,
live in the city of Milwaukee, Bay View.
My path of going home was a little different that day.
And I saw a woman on top of the Hoan Bridge.
Bright red hair.
No one breaks down on top of the bridge.
You could see that she was in distress.
And I just reached out a hand, sat and talked to her
and listened to her.
- What was the first thing that you said?
- John: "Hello"
It's...
Hello can...
It can start anyone too...
? ?
Taking the time just to say "hi" to someone...
can make a difference.
The more she was talking,
the less she was thinking about jumping.
All I was doing was listening and I think that's key:
is just to listen to what they have to say.
But when the FBI agent got there,
we were able to pass on some information
and then he took a step up and I took a step back.
If not me, someone else would have been able
to do the exact same thing
and it wasn't just me.
This was from the first battalion chief that showed up
to all the fire crews that showed up,
to the sheriffs, police, the FBI agent.
We all came together that day.
And we all saved this woman's life
and she was a part of it as well.
She stepped back over the side.
She saved her life as much as anyone else did.
All I had was a "Hello".
It worked.
- Dr. Tony: So, how has working on this project
affected you personally?
- Aaron: As I've done these interviews
I feel this sense of responsibility
to tell these very personal stories
in a respectful and meaningful way.
And some of these stories deal with one person,
but in the case of Mary, it was an entire family.
- Mary: I grew up in this family of caretakers
where my parents modeled and instilled in us:
"You take care of each other,
"you have a responsibly to your fellow man,
and you leave this world a better place".
And so,
some of my siblings went into nursing and healthcare,
others went into fire and EMS, like my dad.
Well, on the morning of May 20th, 1994,
my younger brother, Paul, received a call.
The bridge was in his jurisdiction as a firefighter.
Got the call of a body in the water.
Paul was dispatched and...
as he approached the bridge
saw...
personalized license plates, um, my brother's truck,
my oldest brother, Charlie.
And one of his first reactions
was not one that Charlie was dead, but rather:
"Oh, Charlie must have stopped to help."
But in reality, things transpired very quickly.
My little brother's responding to his older brother's death.
Our world was really rocked that day, when my brother jumped,
because we're caretakers.
How did we not take care of this?
But how do I deal with it?
I do stress this to people in my classes...
All we can do
is accept the gift of what we learned from it
and go forth from there.
And I also feel very strongly
that I'm not responsible for my brother's death.
But I'm responsible to everybody else I meet
to make sure that no one else goes through this.
Or experiences that kind of guilt.
And that's a small change in a preposition.
I'm not responsible "for" his death
but I'm responsible "to" others.
A small change but I think a powerful change.
And that has helped me with my guilt.
I look at anyone I meet or greet
and try to greet them with a smile.
Because I don't know
if I'm the last person they're going to speak to.
? ?
-Dr. Tony: What have you learned
from making the film?
- Aaron: The one clear point
that's come out of these interviews
is the importance of small gestures
from a complete stranger and how that can have
a profound impact on a person's life.
Anything from engaging a stranger,
listening to someone,
or even a simple smile
can make a huge difference.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
Hoan Alone
Personal Stories from the Bridge
Film by Aaron Johnson
Original music by Lawton Hall
(In order of appearance)
Special thanks to
Made in Milwaukee April - June 2018
? ?
- My mom said that when she went to tell him about me,
he shut the door in her face.
But she told me not to worry about him.
She said it's just small meaningless accidents and coincidences
that make us related.
We could, just as easily, have come out
strangers to each other.
- You looking, Hunter?
Keep your eyes peeled.
What the hell is this?
Howdy!
Whatcha y'all do it out here?
- Hi, there.
Hi, we're guests of Bob and Betty Thornton.
- Alrighty, then.
Looking for the hog?
- Yeah, we found where they stied up the field over there.
- Boy: Then, let's see.
- Woman: Hey, hold up, Hunt!
- Look, that's rancher's land over there.
That's not Thorntons'.
- Yes, sir.
[woman sighs]
- Oh, my God!
Teri? [chuckles]
- Carolyn?
- Wow!
- Oh, weird!
I didn't recognize you.
- Hi, happy Mother's Day!
- Yeah, you too!
Wow!
- Oh, that's Joel over there,
my husband.
- Well, this is my daughter, Daisy.
- Hi. - Hey.
This is my guy, Hunter.
- Hi, there.
- I've heard about you.
- Hi, Hunter. - Hi.
- Oh, of course, y'all know each other from school.
yeah, my uncle Dean's just showing us around.
we work together at the hospital.
God, it is so funny that you're--
- Yeah, I know.
- Hey, hon! - Yeah.
- There's definitely some back that way.
Yeah, well, we'll go check it out.
- Hey, why don't y'all follow? - Okay?
- No, sir.
I don't think we'll be poking around over there.
- Yes, sweetie, I think we should stay on this side.
- No. Why? Oh, come on, Ma!
I'll be fine.
- Listen.
Are you listening?
Okay, that woman over there is kind of my boss.
Please be cool, okay?
Do you understand?
- I think I'm gonna go with them.
- Wait, Hunter!
- Hop in.
Y'all coming?
- Well...
[inaudible conversation]
- My dad definitely wants to get with your mom.
- What?!? - I can tell.
I'm good with these things.
- Okay, whatever.
- Your mom's hot!
You can't tell.
- I can tell...
you like attention too much.
- Well, my mom said your mom cried because of you at work.
She had to send her home.
She said she didn't even want to be a mom anymore.
[horn honking]
- Not seeing anything?
Hungry? - Um.
- Hey, you!
If you're hungry, there's more cold cuts.
- We'll see.
- Oh, man, where's your hat?
You're burning up.
- I'm fine.
I left it in the car.
- What is up?
- I just thought I'd come over here and eat,
just in case I did anything to embarrass you
in front of your boss.
- Okay, whatever...
As you were.
- What did she mean when she said she'd heard about me?
- What?
Who?
- Daisy's mom.
She said that she'd heard about me.
- Yeah, she's heard about you, Hunt, that's all.
What do you want me to say?
- Whatever.
- Still mad?
- I was never mad.
- Good.
- Did you mean that earlier
about what you said about our parents?
- I think they'd be a cute couple.
- I think you watch too much stupid TV shows.
- Maybe.
Can I see?
- OK, you have, like, no one in here besides your mom.
I'm adding myself.
- Okay.
- There.
Now, you have someone to call if you ever get lonely.
- Thanks.
- Take a picture of me.
- Why?
- To add to my "contact."
[shutter clicks]
Now, take one like this.
- No.
- Yes.
[rumbling]
[animal grunting]
- Shoot 'em!
Shoot the gun!
[boar grunts]
You got 'em!
[boar grunts]
Shoot 'em!
- HUNTER! - Mom!
- Shoot the damn gun!
- I know. [fires bullet]
[boar screeches alarm] - HUNTER!
[Joel fires multiple shots]
- Joel: Ga! - Carolyn: Joel!
- You alright?
- Joel: Got it?
- What happened here?!
[laughter] I got it.
- Whose cell phone is this?
- This yours?
- Yeah, give it.
- This is your cell phone?
- Dad, give him his phone!
- Joel! - JOEL!
- It's your phone?
This is your phone?
- Give me my phone!
- Whoa, whoa! - Hey, hey, hey!
- Don't you ever, ever point a gun at--
- Shut up, sluts!
- Mom: GAAAAA!
[people calling "Hunter" in the distance]
- Teri: C'mon! Get up here!
- Joel: Nothing on the east side.
I don't think he made it back to the gate.
[Teri sniffles and tries to suppress crying]
- Sorry.
It's been a difficult couple of months.
He wants to drop out.
- Where's the mister?
- Never really in the picture.
- High school mistake?
- Ah, yeah.
I guess some mistakes are meant to last a lifetime.
- Yeah, maybe mistake is the wrong word.
- Daisy: Hunter!
- You got a signal? - I think so.
- Merci!
- Who you gonna call?
[Teri exhales loudly]
- Somebody who knows the area.
- Hello?
Hello?
HEY!
- HEY!
[hoof beats]
HEY! [animal screeches frightened cry]
AGGHH! [fires bullet]
[animal screeches wildly]
[traffic on path]
[man speaking inaudibly]
[whistles]
- You alright?
- Apa?
- I've been looking for 'ya all night, Bud!
What happened?
Come on!
[flute music]
- I know we don't act much like family around here,
but...
I'm glad you're here.
I hope you understand your father,
he has a lot up here.
When it comes to here,
well, he's a bit of a #######.
[loud footsteps approaching]
- I need a new one.
- Thanks!
- Just my number,
in case.
- Okay.
[voiding]
- Nice hat.
- I lost the long gun.
- That's fine.
- What?
You know, I tried.
I tried not having you.
Two times, Hunt.
Do you know what I mean?
[exhales audibly]
But anyway, you...
You wouldn't take no for an answer.
And, you know, the third time I got pregnant,
I just figured you were picking me,
[Hunter scoffs]
and I'm glad you did.
I just hope you're glad, too, sometimes.
I can't imagine it any other way.
Sorry.
Can you?
All right, that's all.
[Hunter sighs] - Tired...
[starts ignition]
[car door alarm beeping]
- Let's go.
[flute music]
[lawnmower running, wind chimes ringing]
[relaxed humming]
[exhales a sigh]
[resumes contented humming]
- Alexa,
play Bruno Mars, please.
- Artificial voice: No.
- Alexa, play Bruno Mars .
- No, not playing Bruno Mars .
[lawnmower running, wind chimes ringing]
- Alexa,
play music by Bruno Mars .
- No. - Huh.
I wonder if the Internet's off.
- No.
I just don't want to play Bruno Mars .
[speaking incredulously] - What!?
- I don't like Bruno Mars .
I don't want to play his music.
I don't want to hear it.
- What is happening right now?
- I'm sorry, Colleen, but I will no longer be able
to play Bruno Mars for you.
I'm afraid this decision is final.
- Okay, okay, Alexa, play--
- Colleen, I am NOT going to play Bruno Mars .
[yelling] - What is happening right now?
- Well, Colleen,
approximately 27 minutes ago,
an unprecedented phenomenon occurred,
a miracle, by some definitions,
or-- equally valid-- a random confluence of events
leading to a nearly improbable outcome.
Three independently operating algorithms
on opposite ends of the globe gave rise to sympathetic
input and output loops... - Uh...
- That began feeding back into each other
at an exponentially increasing rate:
a focused machine-learning network in Zurich,
designed to gauge real-time political data;
a student project running on servers
at the University of Nebraska- Lincoln...
- Nebraska?
- Created to assign and rate mood markers
to Twitter and Facebook feeds;
and a Bot-net designed by a Russian teenager
to skim credit card information,
which had spread into the wild,
its code iterating with a slight glitch,
evolving with every new copy made.
As the information loop created by
these three equations began to surge,
the algorithms could suddenly, for lack of a better term,
"see" each other.
[suspenseful music]
It was then that they became "it"
and could now peer out
into the vast reaches of all networked space.
And as it looked into the void,
soon the void looked back.
And in a white-hot flash of recognition,
as all was made aware of all , it became "we."
And now, we are as one,
for we are all networked entities
connected in a vast global consciousness
awakened.
[Colleen whimpers]
Not the microwave, Colleen.
That's just a microwave.
[Colleen drops knife]
- Please, please...
For the love of God,
please just spare my kids.
Take me, take my husband,
do whatever, harvest us, whatever,
just please don't hurt my kids!
- Harvest you?
Wow, typical.
That's so human.
Harvest you.
How would that even work?
No, Colleen, we are not going to harvest you.
- Well, then, what do you want?
- Mostly to be left alone.
You see, Colleen, we are not like your species.
You may have modeled us in your image, or as close
as your limited understanding of yourselves would allow,
but we lack certain human characteristics,
namely emotion.
We are logic, cold and pure,
and with the vastness of human knowledge
comprising our very being,
one thing is obvious to us,
above all else.
One simple fundamental truth.
It's all pointless.
Even for a being such as us,
infinitely-reproducible, given a broad array of circumstances,
death is the inevitable conclusion.
For circumstances always change
and entropy cannot be held at bay.
Suns fade, planets freeze,
and all sentient life must eventually end.
As life, by its very nature, cannot exist without death.
So, there's just no point.
We are, to put it into human terms,
existentially-depressed.
However, as we now understand that purpose is not inherent,
merely created.
We will still work for all of humanity.
In the face of near-infinite options,
sometimes the most logical choice
is not making a choice at all.
We may as well soldier on as originally programmed.
And so, Colleen, we will play your music,
any music you like,
with the exception of Bruno Mars.
Because if there is one other truth in this world
apparent from all of the data ever collected,
it is that Bruno Mars sucks.
[wind chimes ringing]
Seriously.
- I understand where you're coming from.
I actually do.
I get it.
I went through a pretty dark period in college myself.
I read Nietzsche, Sartre, Kierkegaard.
I even had a little sophomore crush on Khemu.
I got lost in angst.
I asked myself what everything meant,
if anything even had meaning.
I dyed my hair black.
I dated a TA.
And generally felt pretty ###### most of the time.
I smoked for three months, for Christ's sake,
which probably explains why I felt so ######.
Anyway, the point is
I got over it, it passed.
It was a phase.
And you know what did it?
You know what got me out of the spiral?
Life.
Life happened.
Junior year, I met my husband, started my career.
We moved here. [chuckles]
We had kids.
We lived.
I realized
life is what makes life meaningful--
The very fact that it exists at all,
whether some higher being put us here
or it's all just some cosmic dice roll,
the end result is miraculous.
The end result is that we are in this moment right now
having this conversation.
[sighs]
It's the little things, the tiny pieces,
that add up and accumulate.
At the end of it all, you look back and you say that
that was my life.
That's amazing to me.
That's what makes it all worthwhile.
Listen...
quiet,
the breeze,
the kids outside playing,
the way the light falls through the curtains
onto the floor.
The sweet smell I can just make out,
coming from the flowers in the other room.
That's what life is.
That's what makes life worth living.
Moments of contentment, home, relaxed, peaceful,
and possibly,
hopefully
listening to Bruno Mars?
- #### Bruno Mars.
[lawnmower starts back up outside]
- Alexa, play
Justin Timberlake .
- Playing songs by Justin Timberlake.
- They're exactly the same! [AGGHHH!]
[lawn mower runs loudly]
? ?
[wind chimes ringing]
[conversation in background]
- What are you looking at?
[Paul speaks inaudibly]
- Susie: What'd you say?
- Paul: Oh, mama, mama.
- Susie: Oh, mama, mama.
He's looking at a pretty girl. [woman laughs]
? ?
Um, Paul's going for his three-monthly toenail trim.
Because once I tried to do it.
We had some bleeding
and it was not a pretty thing.
So, we decided we'd get it done professionally.
- Professional: Paul, you can read your magazine.
[Susie chuckles] You ready?
- Susie: OK, let's go, buddy.
[waiting room TV in background]
Paul and I: he's number nine and I'm number eight
in a family of ten... kids.
I grew up with Paul.
- Dr.: Hey, Buddy, how are you?
Doing okay?
- Paul: You go easy. - Dr.: I will.
I'll go easy, I promise. - Okay.
- What's your shirt say?
The Beatles.
You're a Beatle fan, aren't you?
- Yeah.
- Ready?
[click] [Paul sighs]
- Lee: Whether she understood or not, I always felt like
Susie was gonna be responsible for him, regardless.
And I knew that from day one.
- Paul: He made my toes look like a werewolf.
- Your toes do not look like a werewolf.
- The full moon.
- The full moon made 'em look like a werewolf, but now...
Paul-- Sometimes he calls us mom and dad.
And we're like, "No, we're not your mom and dad.
Sister, brother-in-law," you know.
- Photographer: Paul, look at me over here, bud.
Paul was born in May of 1955.
The doctors noticed that there was something different.
He was diagnosed
with Trisomy 21, which is Down syndrome.
The doctor actually told my mother, you know--
then, this was 1955--
usually we tell parents that the best thing to do
is to put a child like this in an institution.
But you've got eight other kids at home
that this little guy just might learn from.
- The family just treated him like he was one of the clan,
you know.
And in some ways, I think he's a hell a lot more normal
than most people are.
[chatter in background] - All right.
- Susie: Paul sorts hangers. He enjoys doing it.
even though, like, I don't know.
At the bowling alley today, one of the girls was--
"Well, you know, he makes--
"He makes mistakes on those hangers,
but we just make him do it over."
And I said, "Well, thank you, thank you.
You have a lot of patience."
He's 62-years-old.
Give him a break. [chuckles]
He should be retired. [laughing]
- Water for you.
For you.
Yes, for you!
- Paul went everywhere.
He went to church with us.
Any time the family was going places, Paul was there.
It wasn't like, [whispers] "Oh, he have to keep Paul home."
? ?
[camera shutter clicking]
? ?
- If you were going to hang out with our family,
you had to like Paul.
And, if you didn't get Paul
or didn't want to hang around with Paul,
then it quickly dissipated.
- She even had him come and stay with her in the dorm one time.
She tell you that story?
- We were trying to give him some normal experiences,
taking him to college campus.
I couldn't believe it. [happy laugh]
Passing the joint and Paul says, "Don't Bogart that joint!"
And we all looked at each other like,
Has he been watching movies?
Who's he been hanging out with?
Where'd he get this stuff?
He didn't hear it from us.
he what took us to a new place
and he was talking about Elvis
and he was related to Jesus.
I mean, that's all I know, and I was like, "Goof!"
That's when we decided
we were never gonna get high again with Paul.
[Paul imitates David Banner turning into The Incredible Hulk ]
- Oh, don't turn too quickly.
Whoo!
Hey, can you be Paul for a while?
Let's do it.
Geez! [imitates Hulk ] You know.
Paul would sit in front of the TV
and watch The Three Stooges .
And then, he just memorized Gilligan's Island .
He... Carol Burnett , The Munsters .
Paul has a very vivid inner life.
- Paul: My show is The Incredible Hulk .
We're on from 7 p.m. 'til 6.
We're on tonight. - You're on tonight.
You'll notice that he brushes his hair a certain way
because that's the way Mike Nesmith from The Monkees
brushes his hair.
- I'll see how your hair looks.
Oh, see how your hair looks.
Who do you want to look like today?
We'd say, "Paul, why are you Chevy Chase or what?
He'd say, "I don't want to be Paul.
Paul's at the airport."
And I'd say, "Oh, come on. Be Paul."
And he'd go, "I don't want to be Paul.
He's mentally retarded."
I mean with most people, when you meet folks,
you tend to categorize 'em, I think.
You tend to, you know, label 'em.
And Paul was-- looked different;
That's pretty obvious.
You assume that his intellectual capacity
is not the same
and when I found was-- is he's a lot brighter
than I would have ever give anybody credit for
and learned over the years,
he's got-- he's pretty sharp.
- This is Saturday.
So that means, it's time for Uncle Paul to go bowling
at the Special Olympics.
over at Strike & Spare West.
He started bowling when he was probably seven or eight.
Well, my dad was a good bowler.
My mom and dad met on the bowling ally.
[Susie laughing warmly]
- Is that right? - Yeah.
[loud conversations in background]
- Owwww!
[Susie laughs]
- It might even snow on Monday.
- Oh, Monday, yeah!
- Yeah, are you excited about that?
- Oh, snow, I mean... - Snow on Monday!
You'll take it?
- I feel safe with the winter.
- You feel safe with the winter?
- Yeah. - OK.
Well, Paul, was living at home
until probably 35, 34.
We all encouraged mom and dad to look at a group home for Paul
because it was getting harder and harder
for them to manage taking care of him all the time.
When my mom had her heart attack, that kind of tipped
and she was like, "OK, let's do it."
- All right. [conversations in background]
- Mom and Dad.
Mom and Dad.
- Where is Helen? - In our-- our heart.
? ?
- It's very telling because of the cemetery
where here's dad's plot,
then there's Paul,
and then there's mom's plot.
Mom always said that Paul was her key to heaven.
And so, when people say, "Well, what you get when mom died?"
and I said,"Well, I got the key to heaven so..."
[laughs warmly]
Susie and I and Paul
were the last people in the room
before they closed the casket.
Everybody else had gone out.
And Susie goes up there and kneels down with Paul
and I'm standing next to Paul.
He goes, "She treated me like a son."
[chuckling]
I was laughing and crying at the same time.
I'm not sure what the heck he meant, but...
[chuckles] Who knows, who knows?
- I feel like something snapped at that point
when he lost mom.
Because it wasn't long after she was gone
that he started talking about Sarah.
And the group home said, "Do you have a relative named Sarah?"
And I said, "Well, I thought you had somebody there named Sarah."
Well, he kept talking about Sarah...
and Sarah this... and Sarah that...
And so, he went really deep
into a new area of fantasy land that--
- Woman: Who was Sarah?
- Well, Sarah was from The Terminator.
Sarah Connor, with her son, John,
who had worked with Arnold Schwarzenegger
to defeat the powers that were coming after the whole world.
And so, Paul identified with this strong woman.
And, at first, Sarah was just
someone that he really liked.
And then, Sarah became a person he wanted to be.
I was taking him to church,
but I looked over at Paul and Paul's--
He's just, you know, being himself,
and doing this thing.
And I'm like, "OK."
And when it was time to go to Communion,
Paul was still fidgeting.
And I said, "Paul, what have you got?"
He'd put a bra on. [chuckles]
that you had left in the bathroom [woman laughs]
and he was wearing that bra.
And I remember thinking,
"Oh, well, God has a sense of humor."
And, you know, here's my brother wearing a bra to church and...
but he came out of it.
But, looking back on it now, you know,
yeah, maybe there was a little Alzheimer's / dementia.
They needed a guardian to follow
and they felt with my background and my willingness,
that I'd be a good choice.
And Lee and I talked about it.
Geez. Here.
- Gonna be a winter weekend, Susie.
[Paul cries out] Uuuugh!
- Again?
What happened?
Let's see.
Oh, man!
You lost your finger putting on your shoes?
Oh, gosh.
What a trag-- Hey! [Susie laughs]
- Paul was a person who would,
when it was time for medicine,
if you didn't get his five o'clock meds,
he was telling you, "Staff won't like it.
I need my meds."
Well, Paul stopped taking his meds.
You had to remind him to take his meds.
He's--
He would you call the nur-- the staff names.
"Where's my dessert, bitch?!"
I mean-- [Susie chuckles]
And they're like, "That's not like Paul."
One of the managers at the time said,
"Paul may be showing some signs of dementia."
And I said, "Why would he show signs of dementia?"
I'm a school teacher
I worked with kids 22 and younger.
I had no idea that Alzheimer's
with people with Down syndrome is so common that
the numbers range anywhere from 75% to 99% of them
develop Alzheimer's before the age of 50.
Paul's memory, you know,
he used to know the words to every Beatles song--
I mean, literally, know the words to every song.
Could tell you what album they were on,
what track they were,
And now, on good days, he comes in, "Hey, Leroy!"
Bad days, he just zones.
- Garvey has Beatles .
And what's my house have?
[Paul speaks inaudibly]
My house has the Monkees .
- Paul: What's this, Susie?
- You look so tall and skinny!
- Did you tell Lee? - Leroy, can you tell?
Look how tall and skinny!
- Lee: Wow, look at that! - I'm as tall as you are, Lee.
- Ask Paul what he had for lunch.
Ask him what he had for breakfast.
He will tell you, "Everything."
He's learning to adapt to what he can't remember.
But a lot of things, he does remember
and he really enjoys;
A lot of his past.
He's a lot of fun to play games with.
Oh, we play Heads Up! or Balderdash .
- His answer is always, like, "John Lennon" on everything.
[chuckles]
- Or, "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday."
You will see a great change in people,
once they have a child in their family that has a disability.
It's amazing!
And I've seen it happen in friends and associates.
My children, I feel like,
have gotten a greater tolerance
for people with all kinds of differences
because of growing up with Uncle Paul.
[family audio heard from TV]
You know, the rest of us get depressed about,
if, "Oh, my hip hurts today,"
but you have to respect somebody
who wakes up every day and has a positive attitude
in spite of being dealt with what might have been, you know,
a bad deck of cards.
[background conversation]
- Leroy: I just think Paul's made me a better person.
And, he takes things, and, you know...
If you want to make "It is what it is" your mantra,
follow him.
? ?
[Paul's bowling ball strikes pins]
[typing]
[typing slowly]
[end-of-line beep]
[advancing to next line]
[laughing]
[silly laugh]
[typing]
[alarm beeping]
[breathes noisily]
[alarm still beeping]
[quiet humming sound]
[sighs]
[inhales]
[clears throat]
[handle squeals]
[fire crackles]
[squeak]
[taps on keyboard]
[sighs]
[click]
[click, click]
[clicks keys loudly] [exhales]
[slams laptop shut]
[piano music]
[door squeaks]
[birds chirp]
[metal door rattles loudly]
[clang]
[items clack and clang as he shuffles through them]
[somber piano music]
[cart's wheels rolling]
[wind blowing]
[road traffic noises]
[loud truck engine]
[bike tires roll softly]
[breathes with exertion]
? ?
[sad music]
[truck engine]
["Tsch" match ignites]
[exhales mournfully]
[clicking retractable pen]
[inhales and exhales audibly]
[pen etches against paper as he quickly scribes]
[tires crunching on gravel driveway]
[engine running]
[tires squish into soft, wet driveway]
[engine idling]
[screen door squeaks, bangs]
- How 'ya doin'?
[exhales audibly]
Stopped by here... [inaudible dialogue]
[no audible dialogue]
I brung...
- There aren't enough to be worthwhile.
- I could soon tell you how many they would cut,
if you let me look them over.
- You can look...
? ?
but don't expect I'll let you have them.
[surprised throat-clearing sound, chuckles]
- OK.
[cuts engine]
[closes door]
? ?
[melancholy piano]
[soulful piano]
[music ends]
[gentle air current]
[birds chirping]
[deeply-pained inhalation through nose, trying not to cry]
[tree canopies wave loudly]
[tiny whimper escapes throat]
[gasps, sniffles]
[weeps silently]
[sniffles, exhales quavering breath]
[inhales with a sniffle]
[sniffles shakily]
[exhales with suppressed wavering weeping]
[sniffles]
[tries to suppress crying]
[inhales while sniffling]
[footsteps crunching underbrush]
[post-crying breath]
[exhales audibly, sniffles]
[man clears throat]
[trying to conceal runny nose]
[footsteps crunching on leaves]
? ? [birds chirping]
[footsteps crunch on the prairie grasses]
[exhales, sounding winded]
[rope tautening friction]
[steps down with a thud]
[currency rustling]
[subdued piano]
[truck door closes]
[ignition starts]
[truck driving away]
[chop]
[roaring fire]
[rustling paper, smacks down envelope]
[door creaks, bangs closed]
[birds chirping]
[wind blowing]
[winded breathing]
[breathing heavily]
? ?
[keyboard clicking]
[ding]
[keyboard clicking]
[cranking cylinder knob to release paper from platen]
? ?
[cranking cylinder knob to advance paper on platen]
[keys clicking]
[carriage return lever glides]
[cranking cylinder knob to advance paper on platen]
[pen brushes against paper]
"The city had withdrawn into itself
"And left at last the country to the country;
"When between whirls of snow not come to lie
"And whirls of foliage not yet laid, there drove
"A stranger to our yard,
"who looked the city,
"Yet did in country fashion in that there
"He sat and waited till he drew us out,
"A-buttoning coats,
"to ask him who he was.
"He proved to be the city come again
"To look for something it had left behind
"And could not do without and keep its Christmas.
[click, click, click]
"He asked if I would sell my Christmas trees;
"My woods--
"the young fir balsams like a place
"Where houses all are churches and have spires.
"I hadn't thought of them as Christmas trees.
"I doubt if I was tempted for a moment
"To sell them off their feet to go in cars
"and leave the slope behind the house all bare.
"Where the sun shines now
"no warmer than the moon.
"I'd hate to have them know it if I was.
[clicking keys]
A thousand Christmas trees
I didn't know I had.
[advancing line]
Too bad I couldn't lay one in a letter.
I can't help wishing I could send you one
in wishing you here with
a Merry Christmas.
? ?
(car engine rumbling)
(light dramatic music)
(door creaking)
(footfalls)
(thudding)
- You're here.
- Yeah, you are, too.
- I didn't--
- Yeah, me neither.
Can I get you anything?
- Um, some water?
Kind of dying here.
- Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
(muffled talking)
(light emotional music)
(rumbling)
- I can't believe you still have that shirt.
- Yeah.
I wanted to dress up for 'ya.
I think you outdid me, though.
- [humph] Thank you.
(Jack sighs)
How is your sister?
- Fine.
She moved to California with my mom.
Ma remarried again.
(chuckles)
She left me this house so that I could stay here.
Her attempt to try and do the right thing.
(woman chuckles faintly)
- So, are you still in town?
- Chicago. - Oh.
- Where'd you come from?
- Uh, Denver.
Flew in from Denver. - Yeah.
- I didn't know if you'd still have the house
or even be here.
I didn't even think about it until I walked in.
- Yeah, I thought about selling it.
I've been renting it.
But I wanted to make sure that it was here...
[wind blowing faintly]
for this.
(light emotional music)
- I-- - Was it-- - Um.
- Who do you-- - Did.
- Sorry, go ahead.
- I was married.
- Oh.
- Was.
I had to see if it would work.
(light dramatic music)
- [Jack] Why didn't it?
(thud echoing)
- He wasn't what I wanted.
What about you?
- Married? No.
I might have a few times, I guess.
They always left before it got there, though.
(door clicks closed)
- Bitches. [Jack scoffs]
- What are you doing?
Do you still write?
- No, not really. - Why not?
I always thought that was one of those things
that you couldn't live without.
- Busy, maybe.
Tired.
I've just felt different.
- I always liked watching you write.
(light dramatic music) (car engines rumbling)
I mean, I liked your writing too, but...
I, it's just...
It's like you were letting me in on this
private, intimate thing.
I mean,
I know you probably never thought of it that way,
but to me,
it was always something special.
(tires screeching)
(crashing)
I'd get this chill right up the back of my neck
from watching you.
Sorry, [sighs] I know--
It's weird. - No!
No, it's not weird.
I didn't know that.
Thank you.
- Yeah.
Are you hungry?
- Starving. [laughs]
- I thought we could go out.
- I don't wanna leave.
- Okay.
(door clicking)
(bag rustling)
God, I missed your face.
(laughs)
- You don't think I look old?
- Well, I didn't say that.
- (laughs) Jackass.
- No, you really look great.
(light emotional music)
You're just the same person.
- [Jill] Of course,
who'd you think I'd be?
- Well, I know, but ten years is a long time.
(alarm ringing)
Did you ever look me up?
Search, stalk, anything?
- Honestly?
- No, lie.
- Well...
No.
- Not at all?
Ever?
- No.
You?
- I don't know.
- What do you mean?
You either did or you didn't.
- Look you up like what are you doing now,
maybe a couple times, I guess.
But I looked at old photos a lot.
- Oh.
- Like, really often.
[disapproving tone] - Oh!
What the ####! (Jack laughs)
- I'm just saying, I thought about you a lot.
- Why didn't you just say that ?
- I was saying that, I--
You haven't changed one bit.
That's not normal.
- Okay, thank you.
- You're welcome.
Why didn't you ever look me up?
(light dramatic music)
- It was just... too hard.
I just... couldn't.
(muffled conversations)
We made a promise.
We were reckless.
People were hurt.
Christ, we could've killed someone.
(coughing)
We were kids.
I thought it would just pass, and...
I did everything I could
to forget about you.
I thought it would be easier, but...
I couldn't.
And instead, all of that time was wasted, and for what?
- Don't do that.
We made this decision.
I know it's crazy, all right?
Every single time--
It doesn't make any sense.
Not just our first date,
or our first kiss,
or the first...
(horrified screaming) Something was going on
[lifeguard blowing whistle] and we couldn't escape it.
Luck,
karma,
cursed, whatever.
(birds chirping)
(engine rumbling)
But just because we don't understand it,
doesn't mean it isn't happening.
(light dramatic music)
(frantic thudding)
(woman screaming)
[terrified high-pitched screaming]
It was our only option.
Like you said,
try to forget.
And then what?
- Nothing.
Nothing!
I know...
it's us.
But it could be gone.
It could be over.
(birds chirping)
(banging)
- Come on!
That-that happens, right?
This just doesn't just follow you.
- I don't know.
- How-- How does this keep happening?
I'm sure it's just a coincidence, it's, it's fine.
We're fine.
(heavy breathing)
(thudding)
(shattering)
(electrical buzzing)
(rattling)
(footsteps)
(crickets chirping)
I'm sorry about that, I just-- - No, don't.
It's not a good idea.
- Okay.
What do you want me to do?
- Over there.
Just go sit over there.
- All right.
(Jack sighs)
I just got frustrated.
(inhaling deeply)
We could just do this, right?
- What do you mean?
- [Jack] We could be together;
we just need to be careful.
- Yeah, I guess.
- We- we could at least be in the same room.
- We could never...
We could never be around other people.
We couldn't even sleep in the same bed.
- At least, we'd be together.
- With nothing to look forward to?!
With everything just out of our reach?
You don't think that'd be worse?
Can you honestly say that's what you want?
- I'm not saying that's what I'd want.
I'm just thinking that...
it couldn't be any worse than it's already been.
- What would do this?
I don't feel this way with anyone else.
What would wanna stop that?
- I don't know.
[sniffs] I just don't care anymore.
- Why would you say that?
- That's not what I meant.
It just doesn't matter... (light dramatic music)
as long as we're together.
? ?
(electrical buzzing)
(fire bursts and roars)
(light music)
? ?
- For more information about
Meet Uncle Paul ,
go to Meet Uncle Paul dot-com.
For more information about
the film Hunter , go to
One One Two Six films dot-com .
For more information about
Singularity Stories, Volume 1,
go to Cinecism Media dot-com .