- Due to language and adult situations,
the following film is intended for mature audiences
and is not suitable for children.
Viewer discretion is advised.
? [upbeat music] ?
-[ CLEARS THROAT ]
MATTHEW 5:17 BEGINS,
"DO NOT THINK THAT I CAME TO DESTROY THE LAW OF THE PROPHETS.
I DID NOT COME TO DESTROY THEM, BUT TO FULFILL THEM.
BECAUSE I TELL ALL OF YOU WITH CERTAINTY
THAT UNTIL HEAVEN AND EARTH DISAPPEAR,
NOT ONE LETTER OR ONE STROKE OF A LETTER
WILL DISAPPEAR FROM THE LAW
UNTIL EVERYTHING HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED."
HELL...FIRE.
THOSE TWO WORDS -- "HELL FIRE" --
CAME FROM JESUS'S LIPS DIRECTLY.
THE SON OF GOD SPOKE THEM,
AND THERE IS NO MISUNDERSTANDING HIM.
HE SPOKE THEM AS TWO WORDS -- "HELL FIRE."
SO AS TO BE PERFECTLY CRYSTAL CLEAR ON WHAT HE MEANS,
HE IS DESCRIBING THE PLACE, HELL.
BUT THERE IS A PROBLEM AT WORK TODAY, A MORTAL PROBLEM,
AND WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT.
JESUS SPOKE THOSE TWO WORDS -- "HELL FIRE" --
AND NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT IT.
WE ARE COMFORTED BY JESUS THE SAVIOR, JESUS THE HEALER.
GOD WHO SENT HIS ONLY SON
DOWN TO EARTH ITSELF TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF FOR US,
AND WE FEEL GOOD WHEN WE REPEAT THOSE STORIES.
WE FOLD OUR HANDS IN THANKS
AND THEN MOVE ABOUT OUR LIVES AS THOUGH ALL IS FINE,
BUT WE DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THOSE ACTUAL WORDS.
YOU CAN WALK THIS EARTH
AND CLAIM HE IS IN YOU ALL YOU WANT,
BUT YOU WILL BE JUDGED ON YOUR ACTIONS.
HELL IS REAL. IT DOES EXIST.
HELL FIRE -- SIMPLY SPOKEN, AND PRAISE BE TO GOD FOR IT.
AND IF YOU DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT,
YOU NEED TO BE READY.
WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE, EVERY ONE OF US.
IT COULD BE IN 80 YEARS.
COULD BE RIGHT OUTSIDE THOSE DOORS.
IT DOES NOT MATTER.
WE ALL STAND BEFORE HIM FOR OUR JUDGMENT.
YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO WAKE UP.
ARE YOU READY?
IN JESUS' NAME WE PRAY, AMEN.
YOU CAN BE SEATED.
[ INSECTS CHITTERING ]
-[ SIGHS ]
[ GRUNTS ]
[ GRUNTING ]
-GOING TO COFFEE, YEAH? -WHAT'S THAT?
-YOU HEADED TO COFFEE?
-WELL, UM... I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT,
BUT I GOT A COUPLE OF THINGS TO DO TODAY.
MAYBE CATCH YOU UP FOR THE AFTERNOON ROUND.
-ALL RIGHT. MIGHT SEE YOU LATER, THEN, YEAH.
-DALE!
JOHN.
YEAH. YEAH, GOOD, GOOD.
YOU?
YEAH, YEAH.
SAY, UH, I'M GONNA BE BURNING
OVER AT THE QUARRY AND STUFF TODAY.
AND, UH --
YEAH, NO, NO.
I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TWO WORRYING
AND COME RUSHING OVER THERE AGAIN.
YEAH, YEAH.
OH, WELL, NOT THAT MUCH STUFF YET,
BUT YOU KNOW, I HAD SUCH A HECK OF A TIME WITH THAT BIG PILE
LAST TIME THAT, UH, YOU KNOW,
I JUST THOUGHT I'D TAKE CARE OF IT TODAY.
YEAH.
YEAH, YEAH.
I FOLLOW, YEAH.
YEAH, WHAT DO YOU GOT?
OH, OKAY.
YEAH, YEAH, YOU COULD THROW IT ON THERE,
YEAH.
[ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]
[ GRUNTING ]
[ VEHICLE APPROACHING ]
[ FIRE CRACKLING ]
[ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]
-WELL, YOU ARE NOT MESSING AROUND ANYMORE, ARE YOU?
-YEAH, WELL, I'M TOO OLD TO MESS AROUND ANYMORE.
JUST TOSS ON A LOT OF GAS UP FRONT AND KICK ON BACK.
-ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GET TO KICKING BACK.
I WON'T BE A MINUTE.
THAT LOG LOOKS PRETTY GOOD OVER THERE.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A SEAT, RELAX,
AND THERE'S THESE APPLE TURNOVERS MARY BAKED UP TODAY.
WHY DON'T YOU ENJOY THOSE?
-GOOD LORD, I LOVE THAT WOMAN.
I APOLOGIZE, DALE, BUT I DO.
-ALL RIGHT, WELL, GO GRAB A SEAT.
-ALL RIGHT.
-JOHN, HEY! -YEAH.
-YOU ALL RIGHT? -YEAH, WHY?
-YOUR LEG, IS IT BLEEDING?
-WHAT?
-OH, MUST HAVE CAUGHT MYSELF ON SOMETHING.
-YOU SURE? LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
-YEAH, I'M FINE. I'LL CHECK IT OUT LATER.
-OKAY.
-AND THANK MARY FOR ME.
[ FIRE CRACKLING ]
[ DOOR CREAKS, SHUTS ]
[ WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
-YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? IF I DON'T FEED 'EM --
-OH, YOU DON'T GET A CHECK? OH, OKAY.
-YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOMEONE AT HOME.
-HEY, MISS JENKINS. -BETTER PUT THAT ON HOLD.
YOU HAVE TO CALL THAT 1-800 NUMBER ON THE BACK.
-I LEFT A NOTE. -I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.
I NEED YOUR I.D. AND HIS I.D.
-I LEFT A NOTE.
-I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE EXITS, OKAY?
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
[ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
-BYE!
-2974!
[ MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]
-[ GROANS ]
-IT INTEGRATES YOUR MUSCLES RATHER THAN ISOLATES THEM.
-UH-HUH.
-BOW FITNESS WORKOUT SYSTEM
TRANSFORMS YOUR BODY'S VULNERABILITIES INTO STRENGTHS.
-OKAY.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY, GROANS ]
IT'S ACTUALLY SURPRISINGLY HARD.
WHAT'S ANOTHER ONE?
-ALL RIGHT, TRY THIS ONE.
HOLD YOUR ARM LIKE THIS.
-UH-HUH.
-AND DO A SQUAT.
-UH, NOPE.
-YEAH, WELL, I MEAN,
WHY DON'T YOU BUY A GYM MEMBERSHIP OR SOMETHING, MAN?
THAT'S THE FIRST THING I DID WHEN CLAIRE AND I BROKE UP.
-YOU GUYS BROKE UP?
-YEAH, BEFORE THE WEDDING. -HMM.
-FOR ABOUT A YEAR.
YEAH, I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE ALL PARTY IN THE USA,
AND JUST ENDED UP WATCHING A LOT OF NETFLIX.
-I BELIEVE IT. -AND PORN.
-HUH?
-YEAH, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THE OLD PORNO
I USED TO WATCH.
-LIKE OLD, ACTUAL OLD PORNO?
-YEAH, VINTAGE STUFF.
-HOW OLD?
-I CAN'T REMEMBER. THERE'S SO MUCH OF IT.
-JUST A BLUR OF FLESH?
-YEP. -NICE.
-YEAH.
ANYWAY, I LOOKED GOOD.
I HAD THE D'ANGELO LINES.
-YEAH, WHAT WAS THAT SONG?
-I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T REMEMBER.
-GOOGLE IT.
-OH, IT WAS "BROWN SUGAR"?
-I'M PRETTY SURE IT WASN'T.
-NO, IT WAS "BROWN SUGAR."
-NO, TRUST ME ON THIS. -NO, IT WAS "BROWN SUGAR."
? BROWN SUGAR, BABY ?
? YOU GOT MY HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS ?
? YOU BETTER BEHAVE ?
? BROWN SUGAR BABE ?
? GOT A HAND IN HER -- ?
NO. -MM-HMM.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
-OKAY, THANKS.
UM...AS YOU HAVE UNDOUBTEDLY FIGURED OUT BY NOW,
WE'VE BROUGHT ON A NEW JUNIOR PRODUCER.
MISS KATELYN BARNES.
-HI.
-SHE COMES TO US FRESH FROM NEW YORK CITY.
SO MAKE HER FEEL AT HOME. -SHE'S SO CUTE.
-SHE'S GONNA BE WORKING YOU GUYS INTO THE GROUND SOON ENOUGH,
SO NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO MAKE FRIENDS.
WELCOME, KATELYN.
-SO, BETH, WHAT'S THE CAKE?
REAL CAKE?
GOD DAMN IT.
YOU KNOW, VEGAN CAKE IS NOT REAL CAKE.
CAKE NEEDS EGGS. -JUST KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.
-CAKE NEEDS BUTTER. -I KNOW.
-GRACIAS. MM-HMM.
-DANKE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M DOING THIS.
-THANKS.
-I'M SLOWLY KILLING MYSELF.
-EAT THE CAKE. JUST EAT THE FROSTING, THEN.
-YEAH. -BETTER?
-UNH-UNH, WORSE.
WHAT IS THIS? WHAT -- WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?
I DON'T -- I DON'T GET THIS.
-YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD THAT YOU DECIDED TO COME HERE.
I MEAN, UM... I MEAN, NEW YORK IS FINE,
AND IT'S A FINE PLACE TO LIVE, BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA WORK THERE, IT'S DEAD.
THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON THERE, AND I MEAN, THAT'S DOUBLY TRUE FOR L.A.
I MEAN, IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT'S BAD, YOU KNOW IT'S FROM NEW YORK.
IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT JUST SUCKS ASS,
YOU KNOW IT'S FROM L.A. -- IT'S BEEN THAT WAY FOR YEARS.
-YEAH, I'M REALLY EXCITED TO BE HERE.
-OH, IT'S GOOD. I MEAN, THERE'S GONNA BE OPPORTUNITY HERE.
FRANKLY, A LOT OF THESE FOLKS THAT YOU SEE HERE, YOU KNOW,
THEY HAVEN'T WORKED OUT LIKE I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO,
BUT I GOT -- I GOT A LOT OF HOPE FOR YOU.
I GOT A LOT OF CONFIDENCE IN YOU.
-THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I'M REALLY EXCITED.
-I KNOW, IT'S GREAT. ARE YOU MOVED IN AND EVERYTHING?
DO YOU LIKE WHERE YOU'RE STAYING?
YOU LIKE WHERE YOU MOVED? -I REALLY LIKE MY PLACE.
-YEAH, YEAH, GOOD, GOOD. -THE RENT'S GREAT HERE, TOO.
-GONNA NEED A COAT. IT GETS COLDER THAN HELL HERE.
-RIGHT, YEAH. -COLDER THAN NEW YORK --
A LOT COLDER. -YEAH, I BOUGHT SOME COATS.
-YEAH, A BIG ####### COAT.
-YEAH.
-MM, BOOTS, TOO,
BECAUSE THE SNOW IS JUST -- GOD DAMN, IT SNOWS.
? OOH, OOH, OOH ?
? OOH, OOOOOH ?
? ALL THAT I WANT IS A PAIR OF WINGS TO FLY ?
? INTO THE BLUE OF THE WIDE OPEN SKY ?
? SHOW ME YOUR SCARS, I'LL SHOW YOU MINE ?
? PERCHED OUT OF THE CITY ON A PAIR OF WIRE LINES ?
? ALL THAT I WANT IS A PAIR OF WINGS TO FLY ?
? INTO THE BLUE OF THE WIDE OPEN SKY ?
? SHOW ME YOUR SCARS, I'LL SHOW YOU MINE ?
? PERCHED OUT OF THE CITY ON A PAIR OF POWER LINES ?
[ GRUNTS ]
-MY -- FARMER THE OTHER DAY. HE'S TELLING ME,
GOT TO DO THIS WITH THE MARGINS, GOT TO DO THAT WITH --
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
-GOT TO BE KIDDING. -ISN'T HE 12?
-FELLAS.
-JOHN.
SAY, WHERE DID YOU MENTION DALE WAS GETTING HIS NUTRIENTS NOW?
SOME NEW FORMULA THAT'S CHEAPER OR SOMETHING?
-CHEAPER? NO.
BETTER, YES.
IT'S THE RESEARCH THEY'RE PITCHING, ANYWAY.
I DON'T KNOW -- HE'S GOT SOME NEW REP COMING BY.
WHY?
-MY MARGINS ARE ####. I GOT TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
-THANKS, FRANNY.
-WELL, BEND DALE'S EAR.
HE'S DEEP INTO SOMETHING.
-[ GROANS ] GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN.
-AFTERNOON. WHAT'S BLOWING UP YOUR SKIRT TODAY?
UH, NO, NOTHING LIKE THAT.
THERE IS A BIT OF COMMOTION THIS MORNING, THOUGH.
FRANNY?
SHERIFF JUST GOT BACK FROM UP BY THE DAM THERE.
THEY FOUND DUTCH MILLER'S ROWBOAT SPINNING AROUND UP THERE
THIS MORNING, FULL OF GEAR, BUT NO DUTCH.
-DAMN FOOL PROBABLY GOT DRUNK AND FELL IN.
-NO, NOT ANYMORE -- NOT WITH HIS NEW HOLY ROLLER THING.
-THE CHARLATAN JUST PROBABLY SKIPPED TOWN.
-OH, WELL, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
BUT HIS OLD LADY PUT IN HER REPORT, TOO.
APPARENTLY HASN'T BEEN HOME IN THREE DAYS,
SO THEY'RE DRAGGING THE LAKE RIGHT NOW.
-HELL, THAT'S --
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.
-HE BURNED DOWN MERLIN'S BARN.
-WHAT?
-15 YEARS AGO.
YEAH, 15 YEARS AGO, HE GOT DRUNK AND BURNED DOWN MERLIN'S BARN.
-CARL, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
-HE BURNED DOWN YOUR BROTHER'S BARN?
-YEAH, YEAH.
I DROVE BY THE OTHER DAY TO TELL HIM.
SAID HE WAS REAL SORRY AND ALL.
SAID HE SAW HELL,
AND HE WAS REAL SORRY AND ALL NOW.
-JESUS CHRIST, CARL, WHEN WILL YOU --
I MEAN, THAT'S A PRETTY GOD DAMN BIG ONE, DON'T YOU THINK?
-YEAH, YEAH, A BIG ONE.
-WELL, I KNOW HE WAS TALKING TO DAMN NEAR EVERYONE.
SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ONE.
-WELL, I HEARD SOME OF IT.
I MEAN, BUT NOT THE WHOLE GOD DAMN BARN.
-AH, HE WAS OUT TO RAY REYNOLDS
ABOUT THE MONEY HE STOLE FROM HIM.
JUST THE OTHER NIGHT, HE WAS DOWN IN THE BAR
PULLING DAMN NEAR EVERYONE ASIDE ON A REAL MISSION, APPARENTLY.
HE COME OUT TO SEE YOU, JOHN?
-NO.
NO, I HAVEN'T, UH --
I HAVEN'T TALKED TO DUTCH IN YEARS NOW.
-WELL, I IMAGINE HE WILL BE OR WOULD BE OR WOULD HAVE BEEN.
OH, YOU KNOW.
OH, YOU KNOW, ALL THE STORIES WITH --
WELL, YOU KNOW.
PEOPLE ALWAYS SAID HE WAS WITH DEDE, YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW. -YEAH, WELL, I --
I HEARD PLENTY.
MOST OF THAT, JUST NOT ABOUT THE BARN.
DANNY, YOU KNOW, AIN'T NONE TOO HAPPY
ABOUT THESE DUTCH CONFESSIONS.
HE, UH, HASN'T SEEN THE LIGHT
OR WHATEVER LIKE HIS BROTHER, YOU KNOW?
-DANNY MAYBE KILLED DUTCH HIMSELF, HUH -- TO SHUT HIM UP?
-NO. -THAT RIGHT, ACE?
-NO, I'M JUST -- I'M JUST SAYING.
AT LEAST HE DIDN'T BURN DOWN YOUR BARN.
GOD DAMN IT, CARL, YOU --
JESUS.
-AND, UM -- AND SO --
SO IF I JUST HAVE SOMETHING THAT HE CAN TUG ON WITH.
IF HE'S ACTING AGGRESSIVELY,
WE'LL JUST -- HE'LL JUST TAKE IT OUT ON THE TUGGING.
YOU KNOW, WHEN I LOOK IN HIS EYES IN THOSE MOMENTS,
HIS EYES ARE NOT THE "I WANT TO KILL YOU"
SORT OF EYES OF A CREATURE THAT'S TRYING TO HURT YOU.
HIS EYES ARE SORT OF IN THE KIND OF LIKE --
-HI. OH, ####. -####.
-I'M SORRY. -OH, MAN, NO.
-HEY, FLIP THAT #### OVER, MAN. -THAT'S MY BAD.
-THERE YOU GO. -OOH, THAT'S A LOT OF COFFEE.
IT'S OKAY, IT'S MY BAD. ####.
DO YOU HAVE PAPER TOWELS? -HERE YOU GO.
THAT SHOULD BE GOOD. -THANKS A LOT, TEDDY.
-I GOT THIS. -PERFECT.
ALL RIGHT, YEP. THAT'S ALL WE NEED IS THAT.
-HERE, TAKE A LITTLE BIT MORE. -YEAH, MAYBE.
-TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE HERE.
-OKAY, I GOT THIS. -THERE YOU GO.
HERE, YOU GOT THAT END? I'LL BE THE SKEWERS.
GO FOR IT, YEAH.
OH, YEAH, GOT TO DOUBLE IT.
TRIPLE IT!
YEAH. YO, HUSTLE.
-THIS IS ENOUGH. -NO, NO, NO, NO.
-THIS IS GOOD. -THIS IS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH.
NEED MORE, MIKE. GOT TO HAVE IT.
I'M PROUD OF YOU. KEEP GOING.
HE CAME TO WORK REALLY HIGH, SO I HAVE TO #### WITH HIM.
-THAT'S MEAN. -I DON'T KNOW ABOUT MEAN, BUT --
-I'M MOVING, MAN.
-OKAY.
-KATELYN, RIGHT? -UH, JUST KATE.
-OKAY.
-WE GOT TO BE NEARING THE END HERE, RIGHT, MAN?
-YEAH! -THAT'S ABOUT IT?
-LET GO, WE'RE DONE.
ALL RIGHT, THAT SHOULD DO IT.
-I THINK SO.
-WELL DONE, SIR. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
-YEAH, I DO WHAT I CAN. -JUST SAVE THAT FOR LATER.
-THAT'S A LOT OF PAPER. -YEAH, A LOT OF PAPER.
WE'LL MAYBE USE IT NEXT TIME. -STATUE.
PUT IT IN THE SPILL BOX.
-YEAH, PUT IT IN THE SPILL BOX.
THANKS. YOUR BIG ENVIRONMENT.
-I'LL LET YOU GUYS CLEAN UP. -OH, SORRY.
WHAT'S UP?
-I WAS JUST STOPPING BY TO LET YOU KNOW I'M TAKING OVER THE --
THE YOGURT NINJA SHOP.
-QUICKER.
-GOT THAT? -I'M THE QUICKER.
-YOU ARE QUICK ON YOUR HEELS.
-UM, AND I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE BARRAGE OF E-MAILS
THAT ARE HEADED YOUR WAY.
YEAH.
SO, I'M GONNA SEND YOU ONE WITH THE LATEST DETAILS, THEN.
-OKAY. -I HOPE YOUR COMPUTER'S OKAY.
-I'LL BE FINE, THANKS. -NICE TO MEET YOU, BEN.
-GOOD TO MEET YOU.
-SEE YOU, KATELYN.
[ COWS MOOING ]
-COME HERE, TIGER!
HERE, BOY! HERE, BOY!
COME HERE!
YOU DON'T LIKE ME ANYMORE.
-HEY, THERE. -HELLO, DEAR.
-HOW ARE YOU? -GOOD, GOOD.
UH-OH, LOOK WHAT YOU GOT?
-OH, YEAH, JUST GOT ONE ACTING UP IN THE BASEMENT.
COFFEE?
-NO, NO, THANKS. -YOU SURE?
-YEAH, YEAH.
I GOT TO GET GOING IN A SEC.
-EVERYTHING ELSE BEEN GOING ALL RIGHT, THOUGH?
IS BEN PLANNING ON COMING UP REAL SOON?
-YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW.
NOTHING PLANNED.
I TALKED TO HIM THE OTHER DAY.
IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYTHING'S GOING REAL GOOD.
-GREAT.
STILL DOES THAT COMPUTER STUFF DOWN THERE?
-YEAH, HE'S DOING SOME COMMERCIALS AND STUFF.
I SEEN A COUPLE ON TV THE OTHER DAY.
-WELL, IT SOUNDS NEAT.
-YEAH, YEAH, HE'S DOING --
DOING OKAY IN IT.
HE'S DOING WELL.
-OH.
SAY, HOW'S YOUR BACK?
DALE SAID IT LOOKED LIKE YOU GOT CUT UP PRETTY GOOD ON SOMETHING.
-YEAH? OH, NO, NO. I GOT A COUPLE SCRATCHES.
I TOOK A BIT OF A TUMBLE GETTING SOME OF THE BUSHES UP THERE.
-A TUMBLE? WHAT KIND OF TUMBLE?
YOU OKAY? -WELL, YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T --
WASN'T REALLY A TUMBLE.
IT WAS KIND OF -- -GEEZ, JOHN.
YOU KNOW WE'RE NEARLY ALWAYS AROUND OVER HERE
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.
YOU CAN PRETEND YOU DON'T WANT THESE
AND MAKE A FUSS IF YOU LIKE,
BUT I'M GONNA MAKE YOU, ANYWAYS.
-HEY, DANNY.
ALL RIGHT.
HEY, UH...
I'M SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.
YOU -- YOU HEARD ANY NEWS?
WELL, ALL RIGHT, BUD.
UH, LISTEN, I'LL, UH --
I'LL -- I'LL JUST LET YOU BE.
-SHERIFF SEEMS TO THINK HE GOT DRUNK AND JUST FELL IN.
THEY'VE BEEN DRAGGING THAT GOD DAMN LAKE ALL AFTERNOON.
NO BODY YET.
-YEAH.
I HEARD.
-I DOUBT THAT, THOUGH.
NO WAY DUTCH DROWNS IN THERE.
-WELL, LET'S HOPE NOT.
THEY'RE JUST, YOU KNOW, DOING WHAT THEY CAN.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE, UH --
MAYBE HE JUST TOOK OFF FOR A BIT, YOU KNOW.
DODGING SOMEBODY OR SOMETHING?
-YEAH.
PLENTY OF REASON FOR THAT, LATELY.
I'VE NEVER SEEN A GUY SO UPSET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
THAT VISION OR WHATEVER JUST SCARED THE #### OUT OF HIM.
-YEAH, I KNOW. I HEARD ABOUT THAT.
-YOU KNOW, HE HAD QUITE A BIT TO SAY TO A FEW PEOPLE
IN PARTICULAR.
DID HE COME SEE YOU THE OTHER EVENING?
-I HAVEN'T TALKED TO DUTCH IN -- IN A LONG TIME.
TO BE HONEST, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE IN TOWN
HAVE BEEN PRETTY WORRIED ABOUT HIM FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS.
WELL...
LIKE I SAID, I'LL, UH...
I'LL JUST LET YOU BE. -YOU KNOW, I'M SITTING HERE
BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE THEY FOUND HIS TRUCK.
SO, I FIGURE, THIS IS WHERE HE BOUGHT IT.
AND THEY SAY FROM TIME TO TIME THAT THE KILLER
WILL COME ON BACK TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME, YOU KNOW.
-OH...YEAH.
-SO, THE PAST FEW EVENINGS,
I'VE JUST BEEN SITTING HERE HAVING A FEW SMOKES
AND SEEING WHO DRIVES BY.
-WELL, PRETTY --
PRETTY BUSY ROAD, DANNY, YOU KNOW?
YOU MUST HAVE SEEN A LOT OF PEOPLE PASSING BY.
-OH, YEAH, QUITE A FEW.
-OH, BOY. MORE CHANGES?
-YES, CORRECT, CORRECT.
ARE YOU FILLING HIM IN? -YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK. I'M -- I'M LEAVING -- LEAVING TO MY CAR RIGHT NOW.
WHERE AM I MEETING YOU?
NO, NO, NO, NO. JUST TEXT ME.
NO, JUST -- JUST TEXT ME.
I'M NOT WRITING IT DOWN. HEY, LISTEN.
I GOT A DINNER.
I'LL BE HOME LATER.
YOU POST THAT.
CALL YOU WHEN I GET HOME. -YEAH, SURE.
-WELL, THAT GUY IS, UM...
WHAT ARE THE CHANGES?
-UH...HEADBAND.
-HUH?
-THE YOGURT CUP IS GETTING A HEADBAND.
-COOL. -TOTALLY COOL.
[ SIGHS ]
ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET US SOME DINNER.
-WOW.
-HEY. -THIS LOOKS GREAT, THANK YOU.
-YEAH, OF COURSE.
I HOPE BEER'S OKAY.
-YES, OF COURSE.
WELL?
-YEAH. -OKAY.
THESE ARE CUTE.
-I KNOW, RIGHT?
[ CHUCKLES ]
-HOW ABOUT THIS?
DID YOU KNOW KUMQUATS ARE SERVED DURING CHINESE SPRING FESTIVAL?
-UH-HUH.
UM, DID YOU KNOW THAT IN WINTER,
MOST PARTS OF CHINA ARE QUITE COLD?
-IT DOESN'T SAY THAT.
-IT DOES.
THAT'S A TRUE FACT.
-WOW, WELL...
-NOW YOU KNOW.
UH...LOOKS LIKE THERE'S JUST ONE OF THOSE.
DO YOU WANT IT?
-OH, NO, I CAN'T DO RAW SHRIMP.
-IT'S OKAY. IT'S NOT.
-IT'S NOT?
-IF IT WAS RAW, IT'D BE BLUE.
-OH, GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT. [ Chuckling ] I'M AN IDIOT.
-UH...WELL, DO YOU WANT IT?
-NO, YOU HAVE IT. -YOU EVER HAD IT?
-YEAH.
-IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE LYING.
-I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS RAW. -WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE IT.
-NO. -HAVE IT.
NO. -IT'S GREAT.
-OKAY.
-GRACEFUL.
-YEAH, I'M JUST GONNA DO THAT.
-WHAT DO YOU THINK?
-MM.
-OH.
MM.
Kate.
-####.
-UH, IT'S POSTED.
IT'S IN RIGHT NOW.
[ KEYBOARD CLICKS ]
-ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
-YEAH, LET'S.
-THIS IS ME.
WELL, THAT SUCKED, BUT YOU WERE GREAT. THANKS.
-YEAH, THE FAILING IS MUTUAL.
THE FEELING -- THE FEELING AND THE FAILING,
THEY'RE BOTH MUTUAL.
-UM...DO YOU THINK THIS WOULD FIT?
-OH, NO. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I GOT TO KEEP MY GIRLISH FIGURE,
BUT, UH, YOU JUST GET A GOOD NIGHT'S --
UH...YOU KNOW.
GOOD NIGHT.
-YOU, TOO. GET HOME SAFE.
-ALL RIGHT, I WILL. THANKS.
[ YAWNS ]
[ GARAGE DOOR OPENING ]
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
[ SAW BUZZING ]
-SO, THEY -- THEY BRING THE GUY IN,
AND THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM.
AND THEY SHOULD ASK FOR HIS I.D.,
AND THEY LOOK THROUGH EVERYTHING.
AND THEN FINALLY THEY LOOK THROUGH HIS MOTORCYCLE.
GUY LOOKED LIKE SOME KIND OF A CRIMINAL.
I DON'T KNOW -- JUST, YOU KNOW, YOU JUST
CAN TELL WHEN YOU LOOK AT SOME OF THESE GUYS LIKE THAT.
JUST -- -MORNING THERE, FELLAS.
-HEY. -HEY, THERE, JOHN.
-WE'RE JUST TALKING ABOUT THE LATEST.
-WHAT'S THAT? -A GUY THEY PICKED UP YESTERDAY
OVER AT THE CAMPGROUND IN SAUK, THE BIKER GUY?
THEY'RE PRETTY SURE HE'S GOT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH DUTCH MISSING.
-WHAT -- WHAT'S THAT NOW?
-GEEZ, JOHN. -WHAT?
-YOU LOOK LIKE HELL.
-I DO?
-YESTERDAY AFTERNOON,
THEY HAD SOME KIND OF A SCUFFLE OVER THERE.
AND ONCE THE COPS GOT HIM IN, TURNS OUT THAT HE'S GOT SOME
HEAVY HISTORY WITH DUTCH OVER A BUNCH OF MONEY, I THINK.
-WELL, WHO HE IS? -SOME BIKER TYPE FROM UP NORTH.
NOT A REAL GENTLE SOUL, FROM WHAT I GATHER.
YOU KNOW, TATTOOED UP ALL OVER THE PLACE,
ONE ON THE NECK. -OOH!
-APPARENTLY, HE HAD SOMETHING LIKE FIVE GRAND IN CASH
LOCKED UP IN HIS CHOPPER. -FIVE GRAND?
DAMN. -THAT'S WHAT I HEAR, ANYWAY.
-WELL, WHAT ARE THEY SAYING ABOUT HE AND DUTCH?
-WELL, I MEAN, IT'S -- -HE IS A PERSON OF INTEREST.
COFFEE?
-YEAH, COFFEE, YEAH, THANKS, FRANNY.
-ANYWAY, HE'S A SUSPECT.
SOUNDS LIKE A NO-BRAINER, THOUGH, I MEAN.
YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF -- SPEAKING OF HARSH SOULS,
I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY THAT WOMAN DISLIKES ME SO MUCH.
-MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TIPPING HER SOMETHING ONE OF THESE DAYS.
-I TIP. -MORE THAN NICKELS, I'M SAYING.
-EVERY DAY -- I'M HERE EVERY GOD DAMN DAY,
PROBABLY SINCE SHE WAS WETTING HER PANTS.
-OKAY, LOOK, EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT SO FAR
IS BORING CRAP, OKAY?
NOW, I DON'T MIND THAT EVERY NOW AND THEN WE'RE GONNA PUT OUT SOME CRAP.
EVERYBODY DOES, BUT LET'S MAKE IT INTERESTING AT LEAST.
I'D RATHER BE INTERESTING AND BORING.
IF IT'S CRAP, LET'S MAKE IT INTERESTING CRAP, OKAY?
WE'RE GONNA ROLE PLAY LIKE WE'RE A BUNCH
OF ####### IDIOTS, ALL RIGHT?
FOR WHATEVER REASON, WE'VE GOT SOME KIND
OF IMPAIRED COGNITIVE FUNCTION.
NOW, WHAT WOULD APPEAL TO US?
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
SOMEBODY HIT A SINGLE.
[ SANDING ]
-[ BLOWS ]
[ VEHICLE APPROACHING ]
[ CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
-JOHN?
-VERNE, HOW ARE YOU?
-CAN'T COMPLAIN.
YOU GOT A MINUTE?
-SURE, OF COURSE.
CAN I GET YOU A BEER OR SOMETHING, OR...?
-YEAH, CLOSE ENOUGH, SURE.
-HOW'S LAURA? SHE JUST RETIRED, YEAH?
-YEAH -- BORED.
-YEAH.
-WHAT YOU GOT THERE?
-OH, THOSE ARE FOR THE MAITLANDS.
THEY'RE DOING SOME REMODELING AND STUFF OVER THERE.
-JAKE MAITLAND?
-YEAH, JAKE.
-HMM, FUNNY.
-WHAT'S THAT?
-I'LL JUST CUT TO THE CHASE HERE.
ARE YOU UP TO SPEED ON ALL THIS DUTCH MILLER BUSINESS?
-OH, YEAH. I BELIEVE SO.
STRANGE ONE, HUH? -THAT IT IS.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE DRAGGING THE LAKE OVER THERE.
-YEAH, OVER BY THAT DAM AND STUFF, RIGHT?
-NOTHING YET THERE, BUT A COUPLE DAYS BACK,
WE GET A CALL OVER TO SMOKY'S CAMPGROUND OVER IN SAUK.
PICK UP THIS ROUGH-LOOKING FELLOW FROM SOMEWHERE UP NORTH.
TURNS OUT, HE AND DUTCH HAD SOME BIG PROBLEMS IN THE PAST.
-OH, YEAH? -YEAH.
THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING THERE.
TURNS OUT IT WAS A DEAD END.
FOR DUTCH, ANYWAY.
GUY'S GOT A BUNCH OF CASH ON HIM, SO HE'S UP TO SOMETHING,
BUT GOD ONLY KNOWS.
ANYWAYS, IN THE MIDST OF ALL THAT,
AS SOON AS WE LET HIM GO,
DANNY MILLER GOT TO DRINKING.
HE PAYS A VISIT OVER TO THE CAMPGROUND HIMSELF.
-OH, YEAH? -YEAH.
THEY GOT INTO IT PRETTY GOOD.
DANNY TAGGED HIM ONE ON THE JAW, PUT HIM IN THE HOSPITAL.
-AW, GEEZ LOUISE. -YEAH.
WE'RE HOLDING DANNY THERE RIGHT NOW, BUT NOT FOR LONG.
-OH, NO?
-CAN'T GET A WORD OUT OF EITHER ONE OF THEM.
IF THIS IS THEIR REGARD FOR THEIR WORST ENEMY,
HERE'S THE POLICE.
-OH, GEEZ, I SEE.
-YEAH.
SO, THAT'S THAT.
[ SIGHS ]
I WANTED TO COME BY, THOUGH, AND GIVE YOU A HEAD'S UP.
-HEAD'S UP? -YEAH.
WHEN WE HAD DANNY IN THE SQUAD CAR,
HE WAS GOING ON ABOUT HOW HE THINKS DUTCH HAS BEEN MURDERED.
-THAT RIGHT? -I DON'T KNOW.
HE CERTAINLY HAS HIMSELF CONVINCED,
BUT SOMEHOW OR ANOTHER...
HE'S NAMING YOU ON IT, TOO, JOHN.
-ME?
HUH.
AND HOW'S THAT?
-NO IDEA.
IT'S NOT JUST YOU.
IT'S A WHOLE LAUNDRY LIST OF SUSPECTS.
RAY REYNOLDS, JAKE MAITLAND, OLD DON.
-OLD DON? -YEAH.
IN FACT, WE HAD TO GO OVER TO DON'S PLACE THE OTHER DAY.
HE THOUGHT HE SAW DANNY POKING AROUND IN HIS BARN.
-NO KIDDING?
-IT ALL DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE TO ME, SO I'M NOT TRYING TO.
I TALKED TO HIM ALREADY AND WARNED HIM ABOUT DANNY, AS WELL.
THEY ALL JUST SEEMED JUST AS CONFUSED.
-I'LL BET.
-YEAH, HE WAS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT HOW DUTCH CAME OVER A WEEK
OR SO AGO AND STARTED TO GET ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY ON HIM.
-YOU MIND IF I TEND TO SOMETHING OVER HERE FOR A MINUTE?
-NO, NO, NO, GO RIGHT AHEAD.
-YEAH, I GUESS DUTCH AND HIM ALMOST CAME TO BLOWS.
-NO KIDDING. -YEAH.
DUTCH CAME OVER AND TRIED TO APOLOGIZE AND THEN ASKED HIM
TO REPENT OR SOMETHING.
GOT REAL INTENSE, I GUESS.
I GUESS HIS POWER OF PRAYER
DIDN'T STOP HIS BULLYING, THOUGH.
WHAT WAS IT HE DID FOR YOU?
-HE JUST, YOU KNOW, HELPED OUT.
IT WAS A FAVOR TO DEDE, MOSTLY.
-OH, RIGHT.
RIGHT.
THEY WERE AN ITEM THERE FOR A WHILE, WEREN'T THEY?
RIGHT BEFORE HER ACCIDENT.
-YEAH, THAT WAS A TOUGH TIME.
-TERRIBLE THING.
MM, UGH. EXCUSE ME.
-WHAT, YOU'RE KIDDING ME -- YOU'VE NEVER SEEN "TRAINS, PLANES & AUTOMOBILES"?
-NO. -"UNCLE BUCK"?
-NOPE. -OH.
YOU ARE MISSING SOME AMAZING, FREEZE FRAME,
LIKE, JOHN CANDY SMILES.
LIKE -- THAT KIND OF THING.
I DON'T DO HIM VERY WELL. MY MOM USED TO LOVE THAT GUY.
-SHE DOESN'T ANYMORE? -NAH.
-WHY NOT?
-WELL, SHE PASSED AWAY.
-OH, MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY. -NO, NO, NO, THAT'S OKAY.
SHE -- WELL, IT WAS A REALLY LONG TIME AGO.
-WELL, HOW OLD WERE YOU?
-UH, I WAS 11.
ACTU-- NO, I WAS 10.
SHE WAS IN AN ACCIDENT.
-SO YOUR DAD RAISED YOU, THEN?
-HE WAS SUPPOSED TO.
I, UH, MY --
AT THE TIME OF THE ACCIDENT,
I WAS STAYING AT MY UNCLE'S HOUSE,
AND MY DAD SAID THAT HE WAS GONNA COME AND GET ME.
AND THEN HE JUST NEVER REALLY SHOWED, WHICH IS --
UM, BUT THEY WEREN'T TOGETHER AT THE TIME, AND --
IT'S OKAY, I GUESS HE SPLIT TOW-- SPLIT TOWN OR SOMETHING.
BUT I DIDN'T REALLY WANT HIM TO COME GET ME, ANYWAY.
SORRY. THAT GOT REALLY PERSONAL.
-NO, NO.
I'M FINE, THANK YOU.
-HAPPY.
WELL, I MEAN, I JUST WANTED TO TAKE YOU OUT AND CHEER YOU UP.
-NO, IT WAS NOTHING.
MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW --
I DON'T THINK -- I DON'T THINK DEX LIKES ME VERY MUCH.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I MEAN, HE'S ALWAYS CLAIMING SOMETHING'S WRONG,
BUT I DON'T KNOW.
EVERYTHING SEEMS FINE TO ME,
AND EVEN WHEN THINGS ARE GOING GREAT, HE SEEMS PISSED OFF.
DOES HE DO THAT A LOT?
MAN, I'VE NEVER MET A PERSON WHO'S SO IN LOVE WITH DRAMA.
AND HIS IDEAS ARE TERRIBLE.
I MEAN, THEY'RE REALLY AWFUL.
-HE'S HAIRLESS.
-WHAT? -YOU NEVER NOTICED THAT BEFORE?
YEAH, UH, APPARENTLY, UH, HIS WIFE TOLD TEDDY
THE WHOLE THING AT LAST YEAR'S CHRISTMAS PARTY.
HAD ONE TOO MANY NOGS OR SOMETHING.
ANYWAY, YEAH, SO,
HE'LL STAND LIKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BATHROOM,
AND I'M SURE STARK NAKED LIKE THE DA VINCI GUY.
AND THEN SHE TAKES A RAZOR AND SHAVES HIM FROM THE NECK
TO THE TOE.
-OH, THAT'S DISGUSTING.
IT'S A NICE IMAGE IF YOU PICTURE THE WHOLE THING IN YOUR HEAD,
WHICH I'D LIKE YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW.
-YEAH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. -YEAH? YOU GOT IT?
-NO, I -- -SO, ANYWAY, THAT --
-THAT'S NOT LEAVING ANYTIME SOON.
-WELL, ANYWAY, THAT'S THE BOZO THAT YOU'RE ALL WORKED UP ABOUT,
SO MAYBE PICTURE THAT NEXT TIME HE'S GIVING YOU THE BUSINESS.
JUST PICTURE HIM SLIDING AROUND ON HIS OWN PUBES
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BATHROOM -- SORRY.
THAT'S GROSS, I KNOW.
-[ CHUCKLES ]
SO, WHY'D YOU END UP MOVING HERE?
-UH...I -- I HAD TO GET OUT OF NEW YORK.
-RUN OUT OF TOWN? -YES, IT'S DANGEROUS.
UM, NO, I WAS IN A -- I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY,
AND IT DIDN'T WORK OUT AND IT WAS A BAD BREAKUP.
AND...I'M YOUNG, RIGHT? I'M FUN.
I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYTHING TOO SERIOUS OR NOW, ANYWAY, SO --
HE WAS OLDER, TOO.
-AH, HOW MUCH OLDER?
-LIKE, SALT AND PEPPER OLDER.
-OOH, I LOVE IT.
-AND I WORKED WITH HIM, TOO.
THAT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE.
-[ SIGHS ]
EVERYTHING GOOD? -YEAH.
-SETTING AN ALARM CLOCK OR SOMETHING?
-NO, I'M SORRY.
-THAT'S COOL, THANKS.
JUST BUSTING YOUR CHOPS.
-BUSTING MY CHOPS? -MM-HMM.
-ALL RIGHT.
FOCUS.
UM...YOU KNOW ANY JOKES?
-HMM, NO.
-OH, COME ON. YOU DON'T KNOW ANY JOKES?
-NOPE. -NO, LIKE, A JOKE?
-OKAY, HERE'S ONE FOR YOU. -OKAY.
-SO, I WENT TO THE DOCTOR RECENTLY.
HE SAID, "BEN, YOU HAVE TO STOP MASTURBATING."
AND I SAID, "WHY?"
AND HE SAID, "BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO EXAMINE YOU."
-[ CHUCKLES ]
SO, THAT'S KIND OF GROSS. I DIDN'T MAKE THAT ONE UP.
I SHOULDN'T BE -- I SHOULD TELL YOU.
BUT YOU CAN JUST PICTURE ME -- WELL, DON'T.
-WOW. -I DON'T HAVE ANY CLEAN JOKES.
-JUST DIRTY ONES?
-JUST DIRTY ONES. -WOW.
I ACTUALLY RECENTLY GOT OVER A BREAKUP MYSELF.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, ABOUT SIX MONTHS AGO, BUT --
SO IT WASN'T THAT RECENT, BUT IT WAS A REALLY LONG RELATIONSHIP.
-HOW LONG ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? -ABOUT FIVE YEARS.
-THAT'S LONG. -THAT'S A LONG TIME.
-THAT'S A LONG ONE. -YEAH, AND SHE WAS AWFUL TO ME.
-IT WAS A BAD BREAKUP? -IT WAS A BAD BREAKUP.
-YEAH. -EXCUSE ME, OOH.
-YOU OKAY? -GOOD BEER, YEAH.
-ALL RIGHT, WELL...
WELL, HOW ABOUT NOW? -NOW?
-YEAH. -LIKE, AM I DATING?
-YEAH. -MM, KIND OF.
WELL, I MEAN...
NO.
-AND DO YOU WANT TO?
-WELL, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T BE ADVERSE TO IT.
-OKAY, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
-LIKE, YOU KNOW, CHICKS WITH DICKS.
-NO, NO.
-LADIES WEARING, LIKE, RARE FURS.
YOU KNOW, DRUNK CHICKS. -DRUNK CHICKS?
WELL, WE'RE IN A BAR, SO... -I'M JUST KIDDING.
YEAH, IT SHOULDN'T BE HARD. NO, I'M KIDDING.
-LIKE HER?
-HER, THE, UH... ONE IN THE NEON AZTEC TEE?
-YEAH.
I'M JUST SAYING, BEN, IF YOU WANT,
I CAN PROBABLY GET YOU LAID TONIGHT.
HMM... NO, I'M GOOD.
-YOU'RE GOOD? -MM-HMM.
-YOU DON'T WANT TO GET LAID TONIGHT?
-WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M -- I'M REALLY TIRED.
-YOU DONE?
-ALMOST. -FINISH HER UP.
-THANKS.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
OKAY. WELCOME TO MY HUMBLE ADOBE.
-THANK YOU. -YEAH.
YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK? -SURE, THAT'D BE GOOD.
-WINE? -YEAH, WHY NOT?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO OPEN A NEW BOTTLE OR ANYTHING.
-NO, IT'S COOL.
MY ROOMMATE OPENED ONE, LIKE, A MONTH AGO,
SO WE ARE ALL GOOD.
-ALL RIGHT.
-CHEERS. -CHEERS.
[ SIREN WAILING ]
-GOT IT? -YEAH.
HERE WE GO. -ALL RIGHTY.
-WHOA. -WELL, YOU GOT TO FOLLOW IT.
CHASE THE SNAKE, MAN.
-YES. BOB WHEN I WEAVE.
-YEAH.
-IT'S A TEST.
-WHAT WAS THE TEST?
-JUST TO SEE WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF.
-YOU GOT TO BE QUICK ON YOUR FEET.
-YEAH.
-CHEERS. -CHEERS.
-YOU USUALLY DO...
-I DON'T KNOW HOW.
JUST DRINK IT.
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE AT A SQUARE DANCE.
-YEAH.
-IT'S A HOEDOWN.
IT'S A HOEDOWN.
-IT'S A HOEDOWN.
-BUT YOU HAVE TO CURTSY FIRST. -ALL RIGHT.
-CURTSY.
WHOA. -THAT WAS A TRICK.
-OH [ CHUCKLES ]
I GOTCHA.
-YEAH, DO YOU LIKE MY APARTMENT?
-YEAH, IT'S NICE.
-IT'S GOT NICE STUFF. -THANKS.
IT'S ALL, LIKE, FOUND ITEMS.
-OH. -STUFF I FOUND.
LIKE, I DON'T LIKE TO BUY ANYTHING 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO,
LIKE, CONTRIBUTE TO, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
JUST LIKE SWEAT SHOPS AND STUFF.
-YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ] -[ MAN LAUGHS, SNORTS ]
- WELL, THIS OLD DOG LEARNED A NEW TRICK.
[ CAR HORN HONKING ] [ LAUGHTER ]
OUR NEXT COUPLE IS FROM SUNNY TEMPE, ARIZONA.
HE ALSO LIKES TO KEEP HIS EYE ON THE PRIZE.
-[ LAUGHING ]
- UH, DUDE, YOU OKAY?
-OKAY.
[ DOORBELL JINGLES ]
-MORNING, VIVIAN.
-HI, JOHN.
-YOU DOING OKAY?
-I'M FINE. -GOOD.
THAT A WAY.
-FELLAS, WHAT'S GOING ON THIS FINE DAY?
-HIYA, JOHN. -JOHN.
-YEAH, DANNY'S OUT OF JAIL ALREADY.
HE'S SITTING RIGHT OVER THERE.
-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, CARL.
-YOU DON'T SAY.
-JESUS.
-[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU FELLAS ARE LIKE A BUNCH OF 13-YEAR-OLD GIRLS.
-HOW DO YOU SUPPOSE HE GOT THAT BLACK EYE THERE?
-OH, COME ON, COME ON.
WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
CARL, WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN AT THE RIVER?
ANYTHING BITING THESE DAYS? -NO.
NOPE, NOT THIS WEEK.
-YOU THROWING WORMS RIGHT NOW?
-YEP, FAT ONES.
-DON'T THROW WORMS RIGHT NOW.
THEY'LL NEVER BITE ON WORMS RIGHT NOW.
-GOT A BUNCH OF WORMS. -YEAH, WELL,
YOU DON'T NEED TO USE THEM JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT THEM.
-CARL, THIS MAN KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT FISH BITING.
-AND WORMS. -AND WORMS.
-HEY, BEN. BEN.
-OH, HEY. -HEY.
ARE YOU FEELING BETTER? -WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
-JUST, YOU SEEMED A LITTLE OUT OF IT TODAY.
-NO, I'M FINE.
-GOOD.
SO, IT WENT WELL LAST NIGHT?
-YEAH, IT WENT FINE.
-YOU WANT TO RETURN THE FAVOR TONIGHT?
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
-GET A DRINK.
-WELL, I HAVE A DATE WITH A BUBBLE BATH.
-OH.
COME ON.
-UH... -JUST ONE DRINK, I SWEAR.
-ALL RIGHT. -YEAH?
-YEP. FIRST ROUND'S ON YOU.
-ALL RIGHT, THAT'S FAIR. -SECOND ROUND'S ON YOU.
-[ CHUCKLES ] HOW ABOUT THE THIRD ROUND?
-YOU. -[ SIGHS ] OKAY, FINE.
-OKAY, SO, YOU SEE ANY PROSPECTS?
-NOT REALLY.
-[ SIGHS ]
-ALL RIGHT, WHAT ABOUT TYPE? YOU GOT A TYPE?
-WELL, MY EX WAS HUGE, AND HE WAS BUILT LIKE A VIKING.
-COOL.
-YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS LIKE TO DATE SOMEONE CRAFTY.
-CRAFTY? YEAH, LIKE, SOMEONE WHO WORKS
WITH HIS HANDS, YOU KNOW? -OKAY.
LIKE A CARPENTER.
-YEAH, LIKE A CARPENTER. -MY UNCLE'S A CARPENTER.
-REALLY? -MM-HMM.
-OH.
WAIT, THE ONE THAT RAISED YOU? -THE SAME.
-SO, CAN YOU DO IT?
-WHAT, SET YOU UP WITH MY UNCLE?
-NO, CAN YOU CARPENTRY?
CAN YOU DO IT? -CAN I CARPENTRY?
-CAN YOU CARPENTRY? -I CAN CARPENTRY A LITTLE BIT.
I CAN CARPENTRY A BIT.
UH, YOU KNOW, HUNG AROUND THE WORKSHOP A LOT GROWING UP.
I THINK WE FOUND YOUR MAN.
OH, YEAH.
HEY, BUDDY! WAKE UP.
-Shh. -YOU WANT A DATE?
SHE'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE? -YOU SURE?
-YEAH. -YEAH?
-YEAH, WHY THE HELL NOT? -YEAH, I CAN HAVE ANOTHER.
-MONSIEUR?
CAN WE DO TWO MORE, PLEASE?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BY THE WAY? -ADAM.
-ADAM? HOW ARE YOU?
-GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? -THANK YOU.
-GOOD.
WHAT A GUY.
THAT GUY'S BIG.
HE COULD BE A VIKING.
His arms are bigger than my thighs.
And I have big thighs.
-[ LAUGHS ]
-I THINK IT'S RUN BY THE KOREAN MAFIA. I'M NOT SURE.
DID YOU EVER DO THAT? -WHAT?
-SING KARAOKE.
-NO, ACTUALLY, I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
-REALLY? -YEAH.
-HUH, WELL, WE'LL DO A DUET OR SOMETHING.
-YEAH, I COULD DO IT. -OKAY.
ANYWAY, SORRY THAT WAS KIND OF A BUST.
-NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE FUN.
-I'M SORRY. -I CAN'T, I'M SORRY.
-NO, I KNOW, I KNOW.
NO, I -- I'M SORRY. -NO, I'M SORRY.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN'T 'CAUSE --
-IT'S OKAY, I DIDN'T HAVE DINNER,
AND I HAD A COUPLE OF DRINKS.
[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]
[ CLATTER ]
-ALL RIGHT, MISS DAWN.
I THINK WE'RE IN GOOD SHAPE HERE.
-OH! OH, WELL, THAT'S --
UM, THIS PIE WILL BE DONE IN JUST A BIT
IF YOU FEEL LIKE STAYING FOR A PIECE.
-OH, NO, THANKS. I HAD A HECK OF A BREAKFAST.
AND I GOT TO MAKE ANOTHER STOP THIS MORNING.
BUT I HAVE TO COME BACK TOMORROW AND FINISH UP HERE, THOUGH,
SO WHY DON'T I TAKE A RAIN CHECK UNTIL THEN?
-YOU BET. IT'S A DATE.
-9:00 A.M. WORK FOR YOU?
-SEE YOU THEN.
-OKEY DOKEY.
[ CELL PHONE BUZZING ]
-I mean, you guys are amazing.
-Basically, it's just not -- it's just not --
-NO WORRIES.
I -- I TOTALLY GET IT.
SOMETIMES THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR THEM.
-Exactly right. That's exactly right.
-BUT WE WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY'RE HAPPY.
YOU REMEMBER WHAT I SAID BEFORE WE STARTED THIS JOB.
MORNING, NIGHTS, WEEKENDS.
WE'RE HERE FOR YOU, ANYTIME.
THAT'S THE TRUTH, THAT'S OUR JOB.
-Thanks so much. -That's right.
-Thanks so much. -YEAH, OF COURSE.
SO, WE'LL MAKE THOSE CHANGES
AND SHOOT YOU A NEW POSTING AS SOON AS WE CAN.
-OKAY, TALK TO YOU GUYS SOON.
-Okay, see you guys. -All right, have a good weekend.
-BYE. -BYE. -See you guys.
-MM!
HOW GOOD WAS THAT?
HEY, BUDDY. THANKS FOR COMING IN.
UH, LISTEN, I GOT TO RUN.
UM, YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN EVERYTHING'S GOOD?
BUDDY.
-OKAY, LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
-HEY. ####.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE HAPPEN.
UM...I'M SORRY THAT I MADE IT WEIRD LAST NIGHT.
-IT'S FINE. -NO, NO, NO, IT'S NOT.
I'M REALLY SORRY, OKAY?
UH, I KNOW THAT YOU --
YOU DON'T WANT TO DATE ANYBODY THAT YOU WORK WITH,
AND I'M NOT --
YOU KNOW, BASICALLY, I'M NOT SAYING THAT IF YOU DIDN'T
HAVE THAT RULE THAT I'D BE SOMEBODY, UM,
THAT YOU WOULD, UH...
YOU KNOW?
I-- I JUST THINK THAT WE'RE FRIENDS,
YOU KNOW, AND IT'S GOOD.
RIGHT? -YEAH, WE'RE GOOD.
-OKAY. HUG IT OUT?
-OKAY. -OKAY.
-FRIENDS? -OF COURSE.
-GOOD.
-NO MORE HEADBANDS. -AH.
WHAT? -CLIENT'S CLIENT HATES IT.
-[ SIGHS ]
MM, THANK YOU.
-UGH, THIS COFFEE IS REALLY WEAK.
WHERE'S THE GOOD COFFEE IN THIS CITY?
-HUH? COFFEE?
-YEAH, WHERE'S THE GOOD COFFEE IN THIS CITY?
-UH, THERE'S ACTUALLY A LOT.
GIVE ME ABOUT 15 MINUTES, AND I'LL SHOW YOU.
-WAIT, YOU ONLY NEED 15 MINUTES? -MM-HMM.
THESE CHANGES ARE NOT THAT BAD, ACTUALLY.
-OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE THE BEST.
I COULD USE A GOOD DOUGHNUT, TOO.
-WELL, NOW, THAT -- THERE ARE SOME GOOD ONES AROUND HERE,
BUT I'M PRETTY PARTIAL TO THE ONES I GREW UP WITH.
-OH, YEAH? -MM-HMM.
-WHAT'S YOUR GO-TO?
-WELL, AS A KID, I WOULD ALWAYS GO FOR THE SWEETER ONES,
BUT NOW THAT I'M A MATURE ADULT, I GET AN OLD-FASHIONED.
THEY'RE FAMOUS FOR THEIR CARAMEL, THOUGH.
-LET'S GO GET SOME. -HUH?
UH, OKAY.
THEY'RE 2 1/2 HOURS AWAY, THOUGH.
-LET'S GO AFTER THIS. I'LL DRIVE.
-HMM.
-I'M SORRY, YOU PROBABLY HAVE PLANS ALREADY.
-NO.
I DON'T, ACTUALLY.
UH...YEAH, WHAT THE HELL?
-YEAH, REALLY?
-YEAH. -EXCITING.
-I MEAN, LIKE, I BOUGHT IT ALREADY GROWN.
-OH, YEAH. -IT'S LIKE A LITTLE
LIKE SEEDLING OR WHATEVER, SO...
I HAD FRESH BASIL FOR A FEW WEEKS,
AND THEN I JUST KIND OF FORGOT TO WATER IT.
-OH, REALLY? OKAY. -YEAH.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD A GOOD RUN.
-OH, I NEED A -- I GOT TO GET A --
GOT TO GET A NEW BLADE FOR THAT JIGSAW.
GOT TO REMEMBER TO DO THAT.
-WE -- I'M WITH A FRIEND, CO-WORKER,
AND WE'RE DRIVING UP, JUST SORT OF IMPROMPTU.
Uh, we're actually kind of close,
so I hope you get this, and yeah.
JUST GIVE ME A BUZZ. OTHERWISE, WE'LL JUST SEE YOU SOON.
OKAY, BYE.
SHE'S STILL THE BEST.
-SHE'S VERY EXOTIC LOOKING, BEN.
-OH, YEAH.
UH...THANKS, MRS. THOMPSON.
-BEN? -HEY!
DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE? -MESSAGE?
-YEAH, AH.
SURPRISE.
-WELL, HELLO THERE.
-HI, I'M KATE.
-HI, NICE TO MEET YOU. -NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.
-YEAH, I TRIED CALLING A COUPLE OF TIMES. SORRY.
-OH, COME ON NOW. GIVE ME A HUG.
-HEY, WE'RE GONNA RUN OVER TO CLARK'S IN A MINUTE --
GRAB SOME STEAKS AND BEERS.
YOU WANT TO GRILL OUT TONIGHT? -SURE, SURE.
-AND GOT IN TOUCH WITH MARY ON THE WAY UP, TOO.
SHE WANTS TO COME OVER.
-YOU'D BE IN HOT WATER IF YOU DIDN'T.
-YEP.
-SO, DOES YOUR -- YOUR NEW PLACE HAVE A GRILL?
-YEAH, GOT A LITTLE BACK DECK AND EVERYTHING.
IT'S NICE. -YOU LIKE IT?
-YEAH, I LOVE IT.
-HOW ABOUT YOU, KATE?
DOES IT NEED A WOMAN'S TOUCH?
-UM...ACTUALLY, I'VE NEVER SEEN IT.
-YEAH, WE WORK TOGETHER.
SO, SHE JUST MOVED TO NEW YORK.
SHE JUST MOVED FROM NEW YORK TO CHICAGO.
-OH, GREAT.
-THEY BUY THE COWS WHEN THEY'RE THREE DAYS OLD,
PUT THEM IN THERE. -OKAY.
-AND THEN MARY HAS TO NURSE THEM WITH, LIKE, A LITTLE FORMULA.
THOSE BLUE BUCKETS ARE WHAT THE FORMULA'S MIXED UP IN.
AND AFTER THEY'VE BEEN WEANED --
LOOK AT THAT COW CHASING THAT CAT.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
-CAN I PET THEM?
-SURE.
THESE GUYS ARE KIND OF LIKE ADOLESCENTS, SO...
-IN THE REBELLIOUS STAGE? -THEY'RE REBELLIOUS.
THEY SNEAK OUT. RIGHT?
WHOA, YOU ARE AGGRESSIVE.
-OOH.
-AND THEN THEY MOVE THEM INTO THIS PEN RIGHT HERE.
-NUMBER FIVE IS NOT REALLY INTO THIS.
IS HE?
HE'S LOOKING A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS.
-HE'S STILL PISSED AT ME 'CAUSE I BEAT HIM IN CHECKERS.
-HI, SWEETIE. -HI, BUBBA.
-I LOVE HOW THEY STAND UP. -OH, MY GOD.
-YOU CAN PET HIM.
THEY LIKE TO LICK.
AND THIS GUY I CALL CRAZY EYES.
-CRAZY EYES? -YEAH.
HE LOOKS LIKE A COW VERSION OF, LIKE, PETER FALK.
-I THINK THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS, MARE.
WHAT? -JOHN.
I KNOW YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT. -WHAT?
-THOSE TWO ARE ALREADY AN ITEM, OR THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.
-I ONLY KNOW WHAT I'M TOLD, MARE.
-AND I ONLY KNOW WHAT I SEE.
-HIYA, JOHN.
-DANNY MILLER?
-OH!
WELL, I THOUGHT THAT WAS BEN. HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY?
-GOOD, YOU?
-GOOD.
SHOOT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET ME PULL OFF THE ROAD AND DO THIS PROPER.
[ CHUCKLES ]
IT'S BEEN A WHILE. -IT HAS.
HOW YOU BEEN? -GREAT.
-THIS IS KATE. -HI.
-HI, KATE, NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M DANNY.
-NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO. -SO, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
WHAT'S NEW? -WELL, YOU KNOW,
IT'S BEEN A ROUGH COUPLE OF WEEKS WITH ALL THIS DUTCH STUFF.
-DUTCH STUFF? WHAT'S GOING ON?
-WELL, HE'S BEEN MISSING.
I'M SURPRISED YOUR UNCLE THERE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
-WELL, THEY JUST GOT HERE.
I HAVEN'T CAUGHT THEM UP ON THE LATEST.
-HE'S MY BROTHER. -OH, NO.
-SO WHAT HAPPENED?
-WELL, ACTUALLY, I WAS JUST CAUGHT UP ON THE LATEST,
AND, UH, I GUESS THEY'VE BEEN DIGGING
AROUND A LOT IN THE MUD DOWN THERE
BY THE LAKE WHERE DUTCH USED TO KEEP HIS ROWBOAT.
SEEMS PROMISING, AS FAR AS EVIDENCE GOES.
NOT TOO PROMISING AS FAR AS AN OUTCOME FOR DUTCH.
-OH, GOD. -SORRY, DANNY.
-THAT'S HORRIBLE.
-THANKS, GUYS.
IT HAS BEEN DIFFICULT.
I WILL SAY THAT.
-YEAH, WE'VE BEEN PRETTY WORRIED ABOUT HIM.
KEEPING GOOD THOUGHTS, THOUGH. -YEAH.
-CAN I GET YOU A DRINK, DANNY, OR SOMETHING?
COFFEE OR A BEER OR SOMETHING?
WELL, I MEAN, IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME.
-THAT SOUNDS GREAT, JOHN.
-SURE.
HOW ABOUT YOU TWO? -YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD.
[ GARAGE DOOR OPENS ]
-CHECK THIS OUT.
-THIS IS REALLY COOL.
-YOU SEEM ALL JAMMED UP IN HERE, BUD.
YOU REALLY SHOULD THINK ABOUT MOVING OUT TO ONE OF YOUR BARNS.
-WOW, YOU MADE THIS?
-YEP.
I RENT OUT THE BARNS.
-SO YOU DON'T DO ANY FARMING?
-WELL, YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID, MY FOLKS OWNED A FARM.
AND I COULDN'T QUITE MAKE IT WORK,
SO I RENT OUT THE BARNS AND STUFF.
HERE YOU GO, DANNY. -THANKS, JOHN.
HEY, JOHN? -YEAH?
-DID MY BROTHER EVER COME AND SEE YOU?
-YOU ALREADY ASKED ME THAT, DANNY.
I -- I TOLD YOU, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN QUITE A WHILE.
-YEAH, I KNOW, IT'S JUST --
I KNOW THAT HE WAS BEATING HIMSELF UP
AND WANTED TO COME TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT LAST NIGHT
HE SPENT WITH DEDE.
I KNOW THAT I WASN'T READY FOR IT WHEN HE TOLD ME.
I JUST --
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT SHE WOULD DO THAT TO HERSELF.
I GUESS THAT SHE WAS FEELING SUFFOCATED BY BEING A MOM?
SHE BEGGED HIM TO LEAVE WITH HER.
THEY WERE PRETTY DEEP IN THE DRINK UP THERE,
AND HE SAID THAT HE WASN'T LEAVING,
SO SHE JUST JUMPED.
-YOU KNOW WHAT, BUD?
I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS IT.
HEY, YOU TWO, HOW ABOUT GETTING DINNER STARTED?
THERE'S SOME OF MARY'S CORN IN THAT BAG THERE.
-I'M ON IT.
-ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS REALLY DIFFICULT. -OKAY.
-I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, SO YOU JUST START AT THE TOP.
PULL IT TOWARDS YOU LIKE YOU'RE SHUCKING CORN.
-[ CHUCKLES ] -WOW.
-THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.
-I NEVER KNEW DEDE WAS A REDHEAD.
-SHUCKS, YOU'RE GOOD.
JUST THROW THOSE EVERYWHERE.
GO THAT WAY.
AND THEN ONCE YOU GET TO THE SILKS, JUST PULL ALL THOSE OFF.
-I NEVER REMEMBER SEEING HER WITH RED HAIR.
-OH, YEAH, WELL, SOMETIMES.
I REMEMBER HER AS A BLONDE, MAINLY.
-YEAH, ME, TOO.
-YEAH.
YEAH, I MEAN, WHEN DUTCH AND HER WERE GOING STRONG,
SHE WAS A BLONDE.
HE LOVED HIS BLONDES.
-HEY, BEN, IT'S GONNA TAKE ME A MINUTE TO GET THESE TOGETHER.
DO ME A FAVOR AND GET THE GRILL STARTED FOR ME.
-YEAH, NO PROBLEM. I'M TRUSTING YOU WITH THESE.
DON'T LET ME DOWN. -OKAY.
-OH, SHOOT.
-DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT BE EASIER IF YOU PEEL THEM OUT ON THE DECK.
-YEAH, AGREED.
-[ CHUCKLES ]
NOW, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?
THAT IS HOW I REMEMBER HER.
YOU EVER SEEN BEN'S MOM BEFORE?
-NO.
NO, SHE'S SO PRETTY.
-YES, SHE WAS.
-SHE WAS IN THE MILITARY?
-YEAH, THE ARMY FOR A BIT.
-SHE WAS A TOUGH ONE, WASN'T SHE, JOHN?
-YEAH, SHE COULD BE. -HMM.
-IS THAT YOUR DAD?
-YEAH.
UH, LISTEN, BEN'S PROBABLY GONNA BE NEEDING THIS.
COULD YOU TAKE THIS OUT FOR ME?
-YEAH, OF COURSE.
-THANK YOU. -MM-HMM.
-THAT DEDE WAS A GOOD-LOOKING WOMAN.
-YEAH, DO ME A FAVOR AND PUT THAT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT.
I MEAN, YOU'RE DONE LOOKING AT IT, RIGHT, PAL?
-SURE THING, BOSS.
-I MEAN, YOU KNOW ME, DANNY.
I LIKE THINGS A CERTAIN WAY, YOU KNOW.
-HMM.
YOU KNOW, JOHN, I BEEN THINKING, I'M GONNA GO AHEAD
AND START MAKING FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR DUTCH.
-WELL, THAT'S A LITTLE PREMATURE DON'T YOU THINK, DANNY?
BUT IF YOU THINK IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
-DO YOU, JOHN?
WELL, I JUST DON'T THINK HE'S COMING BACK.
-WELL...
IF YOU THINK IT'S THE THING TO DO, DANNY,
THEN I'D START BY TALKING TO PASTOR BILL.
MAYBE FOR YOURSELF, EVEN.
GET SOME HELP.
AND PUT THAT BACK ON THE WALL, LIKE I ASKED.
ALL RIGHT, PAL?
TA-DA!
HOW WE DOING? -WE'RE CLOSE.
A COUPLE MINUTES.
-GOOD, LOOKING GOOD.
-IS THIS ALL RIGHT?
-OH, LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK AT THAT. PERFECT, PERFECT.
-THAT'S DONE.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
-WHERE YOU GOING, DAN?
WHERE'S HE OFF TO? -I DON'T KNOW.
HE SAID HE HAD A SHIFT STARTING SOON OR SOMETHING.
-HUH. -IT'S ALL RIGHT.
UH, KATIE, COULD YOU HAND ME SOME CORN THERE?
-SURE.
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
-I'LL TAKE THIS ONE HERE.
-NICE ONE, HUH?
[ GARAGE DOOR CLOSING ]
-WE'RE GONNA MAKE YOU BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING, OKAY?
SO DON'T TRY ANYTHING. -OH, NOT A CHANCE, BUDDY.
I DON'T HAVE THE TIME.
I GOT TO BE UP AND OUT EARLY.
GOT TO GET SOME SUPPLIES AND HEAD TO AN INSTALL.
-TILL WHEN?
-PROBABLY 1:00 OR 2:00. -OH.
ALL RIGHT.
-WELL, I THINK I'M GONNA HEAD IN.
DO YOU MIND IF I TAKE A SHOWER? -OF COURSE NOT.
YOU'LL FIND EVERYTHING YOU NEED IN THE SHOWER UPSTAIRS.
THERE'S FRESH TOWELS IN THE CLOSET IN THE HALLWAY.
-PERFECT, THANK YOU.
IT'S GREAT MEETING YOU.
-YOU, TOO, DEAR.
-IS THERE A CERTAIN TIME YOU WANT TO LEAVE IN THE MORNING?
-NO, JUST WHENEVER WE'RE UP.
-OKAY. GOOD NIGHT.
-NIGHT. -NIGHT.
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
-[ SIGHS ]
SO, HOW'S BUSINESS?
-BEEN GOOD.
STEADY.
YOU?
-AH, SAME OLD.
-WHAT YOU WORKING ON?
-COMMERCIALS.
-YEAH? -YEAH.
-FOR?
-AT THE MOMENT, YOGURT.
-OH, THAT SOUNDS COOL.
-YEAH, IT'S NOT REALLY THAT COOL, BUT IT'S FUN.
-MM, OKAY.
YOU'RE GETTING PAID, ANYWAY.
-YEAH, I GUESS.
-I LIKE KATE.
-YEAH, SHE'S REALLY COOL.
-YOU GUYS ARE --
-NO.
-REALLY? -NO.
-HUH. -NOT MY CHOICE.
-OH.
JUST FRIENDS, HUH?
-JUST FRIENDS.
-YOU, UH, TALK TO RACHEL ANYMORE?
-[ SCOFFS ] NO.
UH...NO, I DON'T.
-BUT YOU'RE HAPPY?
-YEAH, I'M HAPPY.
-GOOD.
-I'LL, UH, GET UP AND SAY GOOD-BYE IN THE MORNING.
-UH... [ SCOFFS ]
NIGHT.
-HEY, DO ME A FAVOR.
HIT THE HALLWAY LIGHT WHEN YOU CASH IN, ALL RIGHT?
-YEP.
[ URINATING ]
[ INSECTS CHITTERING ]
-[ GROANS ]
-[ SIGHS ] [ DOOR OPENS ]
-HEY. -HEY.
WATER?
[ VEHICLE APPROACHING ]
-CAN'T SLEEP?
-I WAS HAVING SOME TROUBLE.
-UM...
-YOU OKAY?
-[ Chuckling ] YEAH.
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
-[ SIGHS ]
-THAT'S A ****LOAD OF STAIRS.
-Shh, shh, shh.
-Yeah, I know.
-JUST GIVE ME A SECOND, OKAY?
-[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
[ SIGHS ]
OKAY.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
NO.
[ GROANS ]
#### IT.
[ GROANS ]
[ COUGHS ]
[ BREATHING SHAKILY ]
[ GROANING ]
-Shh, shh, shh.
-[ MUFFLED GROANING ] -Shh, shh.
-OH, GOD.
-[ BREATHING HEAVILY ] -[ MUFFLED GROANING ]
-Shh.
[ STRUGGLING STOPS ]
-Oh, ####. -What?
-I forgot to turn the light out.
-Okay.
-Let's turn it off.
-Okay.
[ BREATHING SHAKILY ]
-I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. -OKAY.
-[ SIGHS ]
[ DOOR ALARM BUZZES ]
[ BELL TOLLING ]
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ CLOCK RINGING ]
[ CRYING QUIETLY ]
[ CLATTER ]
-HI, THERE.
-HI, MORNING.
DO YOU HAVE ANY FOIL?
-UH, YEAH, SECOND DRAWER ON THE LEFT.
-YOUR COFFEE'S OVER THERE.
I FIGURED YOU PUT IT IN THE TRAVEL MUG?
-EVERY DAY.
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-DID HE TAKE OFF ALREADY?
-YEP.
-GOOD MORNING. -MORNING.
-[ SIGHS ]
LOOKING PRETTY GOOD HERE.
I THINK YOU'RE ALL SET.
-FABULOUS, THAT'S GREAT.
I THINK THAT'S A TWO-SCOOP JOB. -WHAT'S THAT, NOW?
-THAT'S A TWO SCOOPER, AND I DON'T GIVE THOSE OUT LIGHTLY.
YOU WANT YOUR PIE HEATED UP A LITTLE BIT?
-OH, RIGHT.
DEFINITELY.
-YES, THAT WAY IT GETS ALL MELTY.
-HEY, IT'S ME.
UH, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? I MISSED YOU.
UH, SORRY ABOUT THAT.
ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO CALL AND SAY HEY AND THANKS.
UH, WE'RE HEADED BACK.
HOPEFULLY, WE WILL COME UP AGAIN SOON.
ALL RIGHT? TALK TO YOU SOON. BYE.
-HE HAS AN ACTUAL ANSWERING MACHINE FOR HIS HOME PHONE?
-YEAH, CRAZY, HUH?
-I DON'T THINK MY FAMILY EVER HAD ONE BACK IN THE DAY.
-REALLY? -YEAH.
-HUH. -IT'S JUST --
THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMEBODY AROUND MY HOUSE, YOU KNOW?
MY MOM'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY IS ESPECIALLY LARGE.
-HOW BIG?
-LET'S SEE, SHE'S GOT...
SIX SIBLINGS?
-WOW. -YEAH.
YEAH, AND THEY ALL LIVE --
THEY ALL LIVE REALLY CLOSE.
AND THEY'RE ALL CRAZY, SO...
-OH, YEAH, HOW SO?
-UM...
OKAY, WELL, MY UNCLE JIM, UM,
HE'S DIABETIC, SO HE HAS TO GIVE HIMSELF THESE INSULIN SHOTS,
YOU KNOW, EVERY DAY.
BUT HE DOESN'T, LIKE, EXCUSE HIMSELF TO GO DO IT IN PRIVATE.
HE'LL JUST, LIKE, STICK A NEEDLE IN AT THE DINNER TABLE.
-HMM. UGH.
-YEAH, IT'S SO DISTURBING. -OH, MAN.
-UM...
AND THERE'S MY AUNT IRENE.
SHE'S INTENSE.
SHE, UM --
SHE'S TRANSFERRED ALL HER KIDS THROUGH,
LIKE, THESE MULTIPLE SCHOOL DISTRICTS, YOU KNOW?
SHE THINKS THEY'RE ALL, LIKE, UNSANITARY.
UM, NOW THEY'RE ALL HOME SCHOOLED, YEAH, SO...
MY UNCLE KYLE, HE, UM -
HE WANTED TO BE A LAWYER HIS ENTIRE LIFE,
AND, UM, HIS LAST YEAR OF LAW SCHOOL,
HE COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET, RIGHT?
AND, UM, I GUESS THAT JUST MADE
ALL HIS PASSION FOR LAW JUST GO AWAY, SO,
NOW HE'S A HAIR STYLIST.
AND HAS, LIKE, $200,000 OF STUDENT LOANS.
-OOH, OUCH.
-YEAH, GOOD MOVE.
UM...
ACTUALLY, HE'S -- HE'S REALLY AWESOME,
BUT HE'S CRAZY, TOO.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
-WHAT'S THAT?
-YOU HAVE ANY, LIKE, CRAZY FAMILY OR ANYTHING?
-I DON'T REALLY HAVE A LOT OF FAMILY, ACTUALLY.
IT'S JUST, UH, ME AND UNCLE JOHN.
-REALLY? -MM-HMM.
DOES HE GET MAD OR, LIKE, HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM
OR SOMETHING?
-NO.
HE'S THE BEST.
[ FIRE CRACKLING ]
[ BRAKES SQUEAL ]
[ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]
-HEY, JOHN.
YOU ALL RIGHT THERE?
-OH, YEAH.
YEAH.
JUST TIRED, IS ALL.
-OKAY.
WELL, I WANTED TO COME BY AND, UH, CHECK ON YOU REAL QUICK
AND SEE IF YOU SEEN DANNY MILLER AROUND HERE ANY TIME LATELY.
-NO.
-OKAY.
KEEP AN EYE OUT.
WE FOUND HIS TRUCK OVER AT SCOOB'S THIS MORNING.
BIG, OLD HANDGUN SITTING ON THE SEAT.
WE GOT EVERYONE OUT LOOKING FOR HIM RIGHT NOW,
BUT I JUST THOUGHT I'D COME BY AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE SAFE.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE SOME EXTRA PRECAUTIONS,
YOU KNOW.
AND GIVE ME A SHOUT IF HE DOES COME AROUND, OKAY?
IT SURE IS A HEALTHY ONE.
[ DON McLEAN'S "SINCE I DON'T HAVE YOU" PLAYS ]
? I DON'T HAVE PLANS AND SCHEMES ?
? AND I DON'T HAVE HOPES AND DREAMS ?
? I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ?
? SINCE I DON'T HAVE YOU ?
? AND I DON'T HAVE FOND DESIRES ?
? AND I DON'T HAVE HAPPY HOURS ?
? I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ?
? ANYTHING, ANYTHING ?
? DARLING, SINCE I DON'T HAVE YOU ?
? I DON'T HAVE HAPPINESS ?
? AND I GUESS ?
? I NEVER WIIILL AGAIN ?
? WHEN YOU WALKED OUT ON ME ?
? IN WALKED OLD MISERY ?
? AND IT'S BEEN HERE SINCE THEN ?
? I DON'T HAVE LOVE TO SHARE ?
? I DON'T HAVE ONE WHO CARES ?
? I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ?
? ANYTHING, ANYTHING ?
? BABY, SINCE I DON'T HAVE YOU ?
? I DON'T HAVE FOND DESIRES ?
? I DON'T HAVE HAPPY HOURS ?
? AND I DON'T HAVE HAPPY HOURS ?
? BUT I... ?
[ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ]
- Uncle John is available
on DVD and on demand
at www.UncleJohnFilm.com.