MY--I LIVED WITH AN ABUSE--
MY STEPDAD WAS PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ABUSIVE
TO ME AND MY SISTER AND MY MOM.
MY MOTHER HAD A DRINKING PROBLEM.
ONE DAY, I CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL,
AND, LIKE, MY STUFF WAS PACKED,
AND IT WAS SITTING IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE,
LIKE, YOU KNOW, "GET THE HELL OUT."
WHEN I LIVED WITH MY FATHER, HE WAS VERY ABUSIVE,
AND THINGS JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT,
AND I GOT TAKEN OUT OF THE HOUSE.
AND THEN I WENT TO ANOTHER FOSTER HOME FOR A MONTH
BECAUSE ME AND MY MOM WEREN'T GETTING ALONG.
THE REASON WHY I WENT INTO FOSTER CARE WAS,
FIRST, I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED BY MY FATHER.
HE GRABBED ME--MY ARM-- AND I TRIED WALKING AWAY,
AND HE STARTED TO STRANGLE ME.
IT JUST ALL CAVED IN.
IT JUST GOT WORSE AND WORSE AND WORSE,
AND THEN--
I DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE.
I DIDN'T WANT TO GO THROUGH ANYTHING ANYMORE.
THEY BRING A LOT OF HURT.
THEY'RE REAL HURT.
SOMETIMES IT'S AN ISSUE OF ABANDONMENT.
SOMETIMES IT'S AN ISSUE
OF NOT KNOWING HOW TO DEAL WITH ALCOHOLISM IN THEIR FAMILY
OR VICTIMS OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF ABUSE.
(Courtney) I THINK FOSTER CARE IS REALLY THE REPRESENTATION
OF SOCIETY'S COMMITMENT TO SUPPORT CHILDREN,
EVEN WHEN THEIR OWN PARENTS ARE UNABLE TO DO SO.
THEY COME FROM FAMILIES THAT HAVE PROBLEMS,
AND THEY COME FROM COMMUNITIES THAT DON'T HAVE THE RESOURCES
THAT A LOT OF OUR COMMUNITIES HAVE.
MY VIEW OF FOSTER KIDS IS THAT THEY'RE OUR KIDS.
WE PRESUME TO DO A BETTER JOB OF RAISING THEM
THAN THEIR OWN FAMILY.
WE INTERVENE USING THE COURT,
USING THE POWER OF THE STATE,
TO TAKE THEM AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILIES, IN MOST CASES.
I BELIEVE THAT THAT ENTAILS A PROFOUND RESPONSIBILITY
ON THE PART OF US AS A SOCIETY,
AND SO WE SHOULD LOOK AT THESE CHILDREN AS OUR CHILDREN
AND HOW WOULD WE LIKE TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN.
Captioning provided by the U.S. Department of Education.
I WENT INTO FOSTER CARE
WHEN I WAS IN BETWEEN THE AGES OF 12 AND 13.
AND WHEN I FIRST WENT INTO FOSTER CARE,
I HATED IT THAT I COULD NOT SEE MY MOTHER WITHOUT SUPERVISION.
THEN I WENT BACK, AND I LIVED WITH MY MOTHER FOR A WHILE,
AND MY MOTHER WAS HAVING PROBLEMS OF HER OWN.
SHE WAS UNABLE TO TAKE CARE OF ME AND MY BROTHER.
SHE WAS DOING ILLEGAL THINGS--
I MEAN, THAT SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN DOING.
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS.
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO NEAR ANYTHING.
I KEPT IT ALL IN, AND I COULDN'T OPEN UP TO ANYONE.
THE KIDS ARE SO GOOD AT HIDING THE HURT THAT THEY'VE GOT,
AND PART OF HER BEST BAND-AID WAS
TO PRETEND LIKE THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG.
SHE TOOK ME INTO HER HOUSE.
THEN I STARTED OPENING UP,
AND I THINK THAT'S WHAT MADE HEIDI,
YOU KNOW, FEEL A LITTLE BETTER.
SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE A TROUBLEMAKER.
SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE WHERE SHE WAS AT,
AND THINGS REALLY FELL APART IN HER FAMILY,
AND IT WAS VERY, VERY DIFFICULT TO GO THROUGH THAT WITH HER.
WE HAVE A VERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP NOW.
IT IS; IT'S A MOTHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP.
I CALL HER MY MOM.
I GOT PREGNANT WHEN I WAS 15, AND MY DAD DIDN'T LIKE THAT,
SO HE SAID I COULDN'T LIVE AT HOME.
I'VE BEEN IN FOSTER CARE FOR ABOUT THREE MONTHS.
MY BABY'S NAME IS PEYTON, AND HE IS THREE MONTHS OLD NOW.
AND JENNIFER STAYS HOME,
AND SHE WATCHES PEYTON FOR ME WHILE I GO TO SCHOOL.
IT'S DIFFERENT THAN AT MY HOUSE,
BUT I STILL DO--
YOU KNOW, I STILL HAVE TO DO CHORES AND STUFF,
LIKE I GOT TO KEEP MY ROOM CLEAN.
I DON'T KNOW; I THINK I HAVE A BETTER OUTLOOK ON EVERYTHING
SINCE I'VE BEEN THERE,
JUST BECAUSE IT'S SO MUCH DIFFERENT THAN MY HOUSE.
MY DAD HAS A LOT OF ISSUES,
AND, UM...HE'S GOT A DRINKING PROBLEM.
I CAN TALK TO MY MOM,
BUT SHE DOESN'T REALLY TALK TO ME TOO MUCH
BECAUSE MY DAD THINKS THAT NOBODY SHOULD TALK TO ME ANYMORE
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
I VISITED A COUPLE TIMES,
AND THE LAST VISIT I HAD THERE WASN'T REALLY GOOD.
I ENDED UP HAVING TO LEAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
BECAUSE MY DAD WAS HAVING A FIT.
WE'VE CREATED A SYSTEM
THAT SEPARATES THEM FROM THEIR FAMILIES FOR VERY GOOD REASONS,
IN CERTAINLY MOST CASES.
AND--BUT WE REALLY HAVEN'T DONE A VERY GOOD JOB
OF HELPING THE YOUTH ASSESS WHAT PART OF THEIR FAMILY OF ORIGIN
CAN BE A HELP TO THEM WHEN THEY'RE ON THEIR OWN.
WELL, MY BROTHER, HE, LIKE--
HE GOT THIS KID'S FOUR-WHEELER DIRTY,
AND THE KID TOOK, LIKE, MY BROTHER'S GUN
AND SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH IT.
AND I DON'T KNOW; I STARTED GETTING HIGH,
AND I, LIKE, DID OTHER STUPID THINGS,
LIKE TOOK PILLS AND DID STUFF LIKE THAT,
LIKE, TO TRY TO HURT MYSELF
BECAUSE I ALWAYS JUST THOUGHT, YOU KNOW,
I'M JUST LIKE A BAD PERSON
THAT, YOU KNOW, DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
AND THEN JUST BEING IN THE GROUP HOME
AND SEEING ALL THESE KIDS, LIKE, COMPLETELY SCREW UP THEIR LIVES
AND GO TO LINCOLN HILLS,
AND I DON'T KNOW, THAT KIND OF--
AFTER I SEEN ALL THAT,
I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT.
LIKE, I WENT THROUGH, LIKE, ANGER MANAGEMENT AND STUFF TOO,
AND THAT HELPED A LOT TOO,
BECAUSE IT TAUGHT YOU, LIKE, WAYS TO DEAL WITH YOUR ANGER
AND STUFF LIKE THAT,
AND I THINK THAT'S WHAT HELPED ME THE MOST,
'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE I WAS GETTING IN THE MOST TROUBLE.
THEY'RE GETTING COUNSELING.
THEY MAY BE GETTING GROUP COUNSELING.
THEY MAY BE GETTING MEDICATIONS FOR THEIR EMOTIONS.
AND WHEN THEY LEAVE FOSTER CARE, HOWEVER,
UNLESS THEY'RE WORKING FOR SOMEONE WHO--
THEY'RE IN A JOB THAT GIVES THEM HEALTH INSURANCE,
THEY SUDDENLY BECOME INELIGIBLE
FOR HEALTH AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES.
THAT LINE TO THEIR FAMILY, THEIR BIRTH PARENTS,
WAS ALREADY TATTERED, AND IT WAS ALREADY REAL THIN,
AND SO WHEN THEY GO OUT ON THEIR OWN,
THEY DON'T HAVE THAT STRONG BOND.
I'VE BEEN LIED TO BY SO MANY PEOPLE,
AND IT'S BEEN HARD TO TRUST ANYBODY.
AND THE REASON WHY I WENT INTO FOSTER CARE IS
BECAUSE MY PARENTS WERE ABUSIVE
AND I WASN'T GONNA, LIKE, PUT UP WITH IT NO MORE,
SO I JUST WENT TO THE POLICE.
AND EVER SINCE THEN, I WAS IN FOSTER CARE.
AND HE WAS JUST YELLING AT ME
AND SAYING, LIKE, HOW MUCH HE HATED ME AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
AND MY MOM WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE,
AND SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
THAT WAS, LIKE, THE SECOND TIME I CALLED THE POLICE ON MY DAD
FOR CHILD ABUSE.
LIKE, THE FIRST TIME, IT WASN'T ME.
IT WAS MY BROTHER HE WAS BEATING UP.
I WAS SO UPSET 'CAUSE I RAN
RIGHT AFTER MY DAD ABUSED ME.
I JUST COULDN'T STOP SHAKING, I WAS SO SCARED.
(Heidi) THE HARDEST THING WITH DEALING WITH BIRTH PARENTS
IS THAT THEY'RE NEVER GONNA GO AWAY.
THEY'RE ALWAYS A PART OF THIS CHILD
THAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR HOME,
AND SO YOU HAVE TO RESPECT THEM AS A PART OF THIS CHILD,
AS AN EXTENSION OF THIS CHILD.
AND I CAN REMEMBER BEING TOTALLY APPALLED
AT HAVING ONE OF THE BIRTH MOTHERS COME TO THE HOUSE,
AND I WAS JUST--
SHE CAME IN,
AND SHE HAD HER OTHER CHILDREN WITH HER AT THE TIME
AND HAD OPEN BEER WHEN SHE WALKED IN THE HOUSE
AFTER SHE'D JUST DRIVEN 1/2 AN HOUR TO GET TO MY HOUSE,
AND I WAS JUST LIKE...
I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF, YOU KNOW, BEING HAPPY,
HAPPILY MARRIED LIKE EVERY GIRL DOES.
AND I USED TO WORK IN A NURSING HOME
AND TAKE CARE OF THE ELDERLY,
AND THESE PEOPLE ARE IN THEIR 90s AND 100s,
AND I WOULD TALK TO THEM ABOUT MY LIFE STORIES, YOU KNOW,
AND THEY'D FORGET ABOUT IT; I DON'T CARE.
BUT I'D TALK TO THEM ABOUT LIFE STORIES,
AND THEY'D LOOK AT ME, AND THEY'D SAY,
"YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH MORE THAN I HAVE,"
AND THEY'RE 90 YEARS OLD.
AND THAT--TO ME, THAT'S SCARY, BUT IT'S TRUE.
I HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT IN MY LIFE ALREADY,
AND I'M STILL YOUNG.
WELL, MY FOSTER PARENT TAUGHT ME A LOT
IN A LOT OF DIFFERENT WAYS.
SHE DEFINITELY TAUGHT ME MORE TO RESPECT MYSELF
A LOT BETTER THAN WHAT I HAD DONE.
THERE'S DEFINITELY A LOT THAT I HAVE LEARNED
FROM MY EXPERIENCE AS A KID AND HOW MY PARENTS TREATED ME.
THESE KIDS WILL MAKE YOU APPRECIATE EVERYTHING.
YOU APPRECIATE THE SMALLEST THINGS WHEN YOU SEE
WHAT SOME OF THESE KIDS HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERY DAY.
AND, YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN--
WE'VE BEEN VERY, VERY LUCKY.
I DO NOT RAISE A HAND TO MY CHILD.
I NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL,
AND THAT'S ONE THING THAT I HAD GOTTEN A LOT OF
WHEN I WAS A KID.
AND A LOT OF IT WAS THE YELLING AND THE SCREAMING,
AND TO ME, THAT WAS A LOT OF MENTAL ABUSE,
AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY HURT ME,
AND I DO NOT RAISE MY VOICE AT MY KIDS.
IN FACT, IT'S, I THINK, A TESTAMENT
TO THE RESILIENCE OF CHILDREN AND YOUTH
THAT THERE ARE SO MANY CHILDREN AND YOUTH
WHO ARE PLACED IN FOSTER CARE WHO ARE DOING JUST FINE
AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO JUST FINE
IF WE FIND A GOOD, LOVING, STABLE PLACE FOR THEM TO BE.
AND IF I WOULDN'T HAVE WENT INTO FOSTER CARE,
I WOULD END UP RUNNING AWAY,
AND I DON'T THINK THAT I WOULD'VE GRADUATED.
MY FOSTER MOM TALKED TO ME A LOT,
AND SHE ALWAYS KEPT ON TELLING ME THE SAME THING:
THAT I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS,
THAT I HAVE A LONG LIFE TO LIVE AHEAD OF ME,
AND I HAVE A LOT OF DREAMS,
AND THEY NEED TO COME TRUE BECAUSE I DESERVE THAT,
WHICH HELPED A LOT, BECAUSE I BELIEVED IT.
I THINK THAT MOST FOSTER PARENTS THAT I HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH
ARE PROBABLY WEARING HALOS.
I'M NOT ABLE TO SEE THEM MYSELF,
BUT I THINK THAT THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY
OF PEOPLE WHO GO INTO FOSTER PARENTING
DO IT FOR THE BEST OF REASONS.
SHE WAS EXTREMELY SPECIAL TO ME,
AND SHE'LL ALWAYS BE THAT WAY.
REALISTICALLY, I HAVE TO SAY,
I MEAN, IT WAS THE BEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE,
YOU KNOW, LIVING WITH HEIDI.
AND SHE SAID, "WE HAVE THIS YOUNG LADY
THAT NEEDS PLACEMENT PRETTY IMMEDIATE,"
AND SHE STARTED TO TALK A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT THE BACKGROUND,
AND I SAID, "IF THAT IS SHANNON, I WANT HER."
YOU'D HAVE TO UNDERSTAND,
I CAME FROM A REALLY, REALLY DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY.
I HAD A TERRIBLE CHILDHOOD.
MY MOM WAS AN ALCOHOLIC,
AND IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO BE AROUND HER.
WHEN SHE DID COME TO ME, I WAS JUST SHOCKED.
SHE WAS LIVING A LIFESTYLE I COULDN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND,
AND SHE WAS SO YOUNG.
DRUGS, ALCOHOL-- YOU NAME IT, YOU KNOW.
THERE WASN'T NOTHING IN THE WORLD
I WASN'T DOING AT THAT AGE,
SO DEFINITELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT,
I REALLY DON'T THINK I'D BE HERE TODAY IF IT WASN'T FOR HEIDI.
AT FIRST, SHE DIDN'T LIKE MY RULES AT ALL,
AND SHE THOUGHT THAT SHE SHOULD STILL BE ABLE TO LIVE THAT LIFE
BUT I WAS JUST KIND OF LIKE
THE HOTEL SHE WAS HANGING OUT AT.
AND THEN I HAD TO TEACH HER ABOUT THE FAMILY STUFF.
A LOT OF KIDS THAT ARE GOING INTO FOSTER CARE, YOU KNOW,
ARE THERE FOR OBVIOUSLY A REASON, YOU KNOW.
AND MAYBE IT'S, YOU KNOW, THE BEHAVIORAL PROBLEM.
MAYBE THEY'RE NOT GETTING THE LOVE THAT THEY NEED,
YOU KNOW, TO GROW ON FROM THEIR ACTUAL FAMILIES--
TO JUST ACCEPT THE LOVE, YOU KNOW?
'CAUSE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO ACCEPT THE LOVE?
JUST ACCEPT THE LOVE AND RESPECT, YOU KNOW?
'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE GONNA LEARN IT.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU WEREN'T TAUGHT THAT
FROM YOUR PREVIOUS, YOU KNOW, HOME,
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE, YOU KNOW?
TAKE IT.
AFTER THE KIDS GET TO YOUR HOUSE,
IT'S ALMOST LIKE IT'S TOO LATE.
YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT, AND YOU BOND WITH THEM
BEFORE THEY EVEN--
EVEN SET DOWN THEIR LITTLE GROCERY BAG FULL OF CLOTHES.
YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, BOY."
SHE WAS WITH ME THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE PREGNANCY.
SHE WAS ACTUALLY THERE FOR ME
WHEN I GAVE BIRTH TO MY DAUGHTER,
AND SHE HELPED ME BECOME A PARENT, YOU KNOW,
AND SHOW MY CHILD THE LOVE, YOU KNOW, THAT SHE HAD SHOWN ME.
AND SHANNON WAS GOING THROUGH LABOR,
AND IT WAS-- YOU KNOW, LABOR IS LABOR--
AND SHE WAS REACHING OUT,
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, THAT LITTLE HAND CAME UP,
'CAUSE I COULDN'T GET IN CLOSE
'CAUSE OF THE PEOPLE THAT ARE REALLY THERE.
YOU KNOW, EVERYONE WANTS TO BE A PART OF IT,
AND SO I WAS BEHIND HER.
BUT I WAS JUST REMINDING HER
HOW WE HAD LEARNED HOW TO BREATHE AND STUFF
AND THAT IT WAS GONNA BE OKAY,
AND NO, SHE DIDN'T NEED ANY DRUGS.
SHE WAS GOING TO DO JUST FINE.
SHE WAS A HEALTHY YOUNG LADY.
SHE COULD HAVE THIS BABY JUST FINE.
IF I COULD DO IT, SHE COULD DO IT.
AND IT WAS GETTING REALLY TOUGH,
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, THAT HAND CAME UP,
YOU KNOW, WHEN SHE WAS GOING THROUGH THE LABOR,
AND SHE REACHED OUT, AND SHE GRABBED MY HAND,
AND...I KNEW SHE GOT IT.
SHE UNDERSTOOD.
[sniffs]
SHE WAS GONNA BE A MOM.
YEAH, SHE SURE DID.
SHANNON AND I ASKED HER QUITE OFTEN WHY SHE DID FOSTER CARE,
AND SHE WOULD--
HER ANSWER WAS THAT SHE HAD ALWAYS BEEN RAISED
THAT WHEN YOU HAVE ENOUGH, THEN YOU SHARE WITH OTHERS,
SO...THAT I'D LIKE.
FOR EVERY PERSON THAT HAS SOMETHING NEGATIVE TO SAY
ABOUT FOSTER CARE,
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
HAVE YOU OPENED UP YOUR HOME?
HAVE YOU EXPOSED YOURSELF TO WHAT'S OUT THERE?
HAVE YOU SEEN THESE KIDS IN YOUR HOME?
HAVE YOU SEEN THEM BREAK DOWN AND CRY
BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING THAT THEY CAN CARE ABOUT?
NO.
I WAS JUST ABLE TO RELAX AFTER I GOT USED TO BEING THERE.
IT WAS JUST LIKE, OH...
ALL THIS WEIGHT WAS OFF MY SHOULDERS,
AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT, YOU KNOW, SCREAMING AND FIGHTING,
AND THAT JUST WASN'T PART OF HEIDI'S HOUSEHOLD.
NO, IT WAS REALLY NICE,
AND JUST BEING ABLE TO RELAX AND BE CALM
AND GO EACH DAY LIKE NORMAL WAS REALLY NICE.
YOU KNOW, MY ANGIE JUST HAD HER BABY,
LITTLE ISABELLA, AND THEY'RE COMING NEXT MONTH
TO BE BAPTIZED.
SHE'S STILL A HUGE PART OF MY LIFE.
SHE'S MY SON'S GODMOTHER.
SHE'S DOING VERY, VERY GOOD, AND WE TALK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE,
AND NOW WE TALK ABOUT THINGS LIKE RECIPES AND...
WE'RE FAMILY NOW, SO...
THE ONLY ADVICE I COULD GIVE THEM
ABOUT BEING SENT TO FOSTER CARE IS
DON'T BLOW IT OFF.
IT'S A KIND OF A SERIOUS THING.
MAYBE I SHOULD'VE TOOK IT
A LITTLE MORE SERIOUSLY THAN I DID.
AND, YOU KNOW, TRY AND LEARN SOMETHING FROM IT,
BECAUSE FOSTER CARE IS A GATEWAY.
I WAS ALLOWED TO SMOKE CIGARETTES, BEING 13 YEARS OLD.
I WAS ALLOWED TO WATCH TV PROGRAMS THAT I WISHED.
I'M CERTAINLY A CRITIC OF THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM.
I THINK THAT WE CAN DO BETTER THAN WE DO BY THESE CHILDREN.
THAT BEING SAID,
I WOULD HATE TO SEE AN AMERICA WITHOUT A FOSTER CARE SYSTEM.
IF FOSTER CARE IS THERE, THANK GOD THAT IT IS,
BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF KIDS THAT ARE GROWING UP PRETTY TOUGH
THAT IT SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THAT FOR THEM.
I WAS EMANCIPATED AS AN ADULT AT 15
AND TRIED AS AN ADULT AT 14.
I STOLE A CAR.
I SEE A LOT OF THE KIDS STUMBLE AND MAKE MISTAKES
AND END UP IN THE COURT SYSTEM.
IT WAS HARD--I WAS A VERY, VERY BIG DRINKER, ALCOHOLIC.
THERE'S NO DENYING THAT.
I WAS AN ALCOHOLIC.
WE FOUND IN OUR RESEARCH, AND OTHERS HAVE FOUND,
THAT A MAJORITY OF YOUTH AGING OUT OF FOSTER CARE
DON'T HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA.
IN THIS DAY AND AGE, THAT'S A REAL DISADVANTAGE
IN FUNCTIONING IN THE LABOR MARKET.
AROUND THE TIME IN MY LIFE WHEN I WAS WILLING TO CHANGE,
I HAD TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY TO FIND TIME FOR SCHOOL.
WITH RESPECT TO FOSTER KIDS,
THERE'S ACTUALLY SEVERAL STATES
THAT HAVE A BETTER EDUCATIONAL PROGRAM
FOR YOUTH TRANSITIONING OUT OF CARE
THAN WISCONSIN DOES, YEAH.
WISCONSIN'S NOT A MODEL STATE IN THAT REGARD.
THE BIGGEST THING I CAN SAY THAT TURNED MY LIFE AROUND
WOULD BE MEETING MY WIFE.
I'VE NEVER WORKED A 40-HOUR WEEK IN MY LIFE
TILL MY SON WAS BORN.
THEN I WORKED 66 HOURS A WEEK.
I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING WORTH LOVING
AND STOPPED DESTROYING MY LIFE.
FOUND SOMETHING WORTH LIVING FOR.
JUST BECAUSE MY LIFE SUCKED AT THE BEGINNING
DOESN'T MEAN MY LIFE HAS TO SUCK IN THE FUTURE.
IF I CAN DO ONE GOOD DEED A DAY
TO MAKE UP FOR THE THINGS THAT I DID IN MY LIFE,
THEN I'LL BE HAPPY.
I'M 16 YEARS OLD,
AND WHEN I FIRST WENT INTO FOSTER CARE,
I WAS ABOUT...MMM, 11 OR 12.
EVERY TIME I SWITCHED TO A DIFFERENT PLACE,
I'D BE SO HORRIBLE.
I HAVE MAJOR MOOD SWINGS.
ONE MINUTE, I AM AN ANGEL.
THE NEXT MINUTE, I AM THE DEVIL.
A LOT OF THE DIFFICULTIES FOSTER PARENTS FACE
ARE DUE TO INADEQUATE SUPPORT FOR FOSTER PARENTS,
NOT GIVING THEM THE INFORMATION THEY NEED
TO REALLY CARE FOR YOUTH,
NOT GIVING THEM TRAINING.
AND I THINK WE NEED TO PROVIDE
SOME SUPPORT FOR THOSE FOSTER PARENTS
TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THESE YOUTH ARE GOING THROUGH.
I THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY THERE.
BUT I DIDN'T LIKE IT TOO MUCH,
FOR THE SIMPLE FACT THAT THE FOSTER DAD WAS RACIST.
AND OF COURSE, THERE ARE FOSTER PARENTS WHO AREN'T IDEAL,
BUT I THINK THAT THEY'RE THE EXCEPTION RATHER THAN THE RULE.
THIS ONE TIME,
MY FOSTER MOM WANTED ME TO DO THE DISHES,
AND I WOULDN'T DO THE DISHES
BECAUSE I WASN'T THERE TO MESS UP ANY OF THE DISHES.
SO I FELT LIKE, "WHY SHOULD I DO IT?"
THESE KIDS WILL COME IN, AND FIRST OF ALL,
THEY WILL TELL YOU THAT THEY NEVER HAD ANY GUIDELINES,
AND THEN THEY WILL LIVE
LIKE THEY'VE NEVER HAD ANY GUIDELINES,
AND THEY WILL FIGHT ALL OF YOUR GUIDELINES.
IN FACT, ONE TIME, I WAS AT COURT,
AND I WAS TRYING TO SEE IF I COULD GO BACK HOME.
I WAS TELLING THEM, "I JUST WANT TO GO BACK HOME."
AND MY ATTORNEY ASKED IF I COULD BE ON THE ANKLE BRACELET,
AND THE JUDGE WAS LIKE, "NO."
SO I FLIPPED OUT IN COURT,
AND I JUST, LIKE, STARTED CUSSING THE JUDGE OUT,
AND SHE WAS LIKE, "GET HER OUT OF HERE.
JUST PUT HER AWAY."
SO I KIND OF LEARNED MY LESSON.
THERE'S A LOT OF BAGGAGE THAT THE KIDS CAN BRING THAT--
AND YOU MAY NOT EVER KNOW WHAT IT ALL IS.
THE SOCIAL WORKERS CAN TELL YOU
BEFORE THEY PLACE THE CHILD WITH YOU
OR WHEN THEY PLACE A CHILD WITH YOU
SOME OF THE IMMEDIATE ISSUES.
TRULY, I LIKED ALL MY SOCIAL WORKERS.
I'VE HAD AT LEAST FIVE OR SIX,
AND I'VE LIKED THEM ALL.
I THINK IF I WAS TREATED AS AN EQUAL GROWING UP,
I WOULDN'T HAVE WENT THROUGH THIS.
THE RISE IN FOSTER CARE IS PROBABLY IN SYNC
WITH AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE AS THE RISE
IN ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE A NEGATIVE IN SOCIETY.
YOU KNOW, YOUR ALCOHOLISM IS GOING UP,
YOUR CRIMINAL ELEMENT IS GOING UP,
YOUR INCARCERATION'S GOING UP.
AND WHO'S THE FALLOUT OF ALL OF THAT?
IT'S YOUR CHILDREN.
MY--I LIVED WITH AN ABUSE--
MY STEPDAD WAS PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ABUSIVE
TO ME AND MY SISTER AND MY MOM,
AND I HAD ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS.
I GET ANGRY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE.
I LEARNED DIFFERENT WAYS TO COPE WITH MY ANGER
AND WHAT I SHOULD DO OTHERWISE THAN, LIKE, HIT MY SISTER.
I TELL HER THAT THE THINGS THAT I WENT THROUGH,
YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T LIKE IT,
AND I REGRET EVERYTHING I DID,
AND I TOLD HER, "YOU DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN THAT PATH.
IT'S THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO."
WE GO PLACES AND DO THINGS TOGETHER AT MY FOSTER HOME NOW.
IT'S KIND OF HARD TO BE WITH A DIFFERENT FAMILY
AND HAVE A LOT OF FUN
WHEN YOU KNOW THAT
YOU SHOULD BE HAVING FUN WITH YOUR REAL FAMILY.
THEY WERE, LIKE, AN ALL NEW FAMILY.
I GOT ALL NEW FRIENDS,
A NEW LIFE.
THAT'S BASICALLY IT.
I'M SURPRISED.
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT THIS HIGH OF SELF-ESTEEM
WOULD'VE COME OUT OF A GIRL WHO WAS RAISED LIKE I WAS,
WHO, YOU KNOW, WAS IN A HOUSE--
LIVED IN A HOUSE THAT I DID.
I'VE BEEN IN FOSTER CARE FOR...FOUR YEARS.
I WENT IN WHEN I WAS A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL.
MY BROTHER WAS IN AT LEAST
IN BETWEEN FIVE TO SIX DIFFERENT FOSTER HOMES.
I LIVED UP THERE FOR A YEAR AND, I BELIEVE--
YEAH, IT WAS ABOUT A YEAR AND TWO MONTHS.
MOVING HOUSE TO HOUSE TO HOUSE IS VERY HARD ON THE CHILD.
NEXT STOP WAS GREEN BAY.
IF THEY NEED TO KNOW WHAT A FAMILY IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE,
FAMILIES ARE NOT BOUNCING AROUND FROM HOME TO HOME.
I WISH I HAD MORE OF A CHOICE,
'CAUSE HOWEVER I MOVED,
I WAS FARTHER AND FARTHER AWAY FROM MY SISTER.
IT'S NOT LIKE FAMILY, WHERE YOU'RE BORN INTO IT,
AND YOU'RE STUCK THAT WAY.
THIS IS--THESE KIDS HAVE SO MANY DIFFERENT NEEDS,
AND WHAT YOU IDENTIFY AS THEIR NEEDS AT FIRST TRANSCEND,
AND THAT MAY NOT BE THEIR NEEDS SIX MONTHS DOWN THE ROAD.
MY BROTHER AND I HAD A MEETING WITH MY FATHER
TO LET HIM KNOW--
'CAUSE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL WITH THE SEXUAL ABUSE
AND A LOT OF THE PHYSICAL ABUSE--SOME OF IT--
AND TO LET HIM KNOW THAT UNTIL HE, YOU KNOW, FESSES UP
AND, YOU KNOW, ADMITS TO WHAT HE'S DONE--
THAT'S ALL WE REALLY WANT--
THAT HE NOW DOESN'T HAVE CHILDREN.
WHAT REALLY MADE A DIFFERENCE BEING IN FOSTER CARE IS
A DIFFERENT KIND OF PEOPLE,
DIFFERENT TEENS.
A WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL GUY.
HE IS.
IN JAIL.
I'D PROBABLY BE IN JAIL IF I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD FOSTER CARE.
LOVE THEM, CARE FOR THEM.
YOU KNOW, MOST FOSTER KIDS NEED THAT,
AND I REALLY NEEDED THAT.
I MEAN, I GREW UP FAST.
I GREW UP REALLY FAST.
MY PARENTS BROKE UP WHEN WE WERE--
I WAS THREE, AND MY BROTHER WAS FIVE,
AND MY STEPMOM AND I, WE DIDN'T GET ALONG.
MY MOM GOT INTO IT REAL BAD AS FAR AS DRUGS,
AND SO IT WAS REALLY HARD TO SEE HER
'CAUSE, I MEAN, SHE WAS ON DRUGS.
AND MY STEPMOM, KELLY,
SHE WOULD SAY REALLY, REALLY BAD STUFF ABOUT HER,
SO I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
AND MY DAD DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
'CAUSE HE COULDN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS THREE KIDS
AND THEN MYSELF AND HIM,
AS FAR AS GETTING HIS OWN PLACE FOR US,
AND I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO MAKE THAT CHOICE,
AND SO I JUST TOLD MY FATHER,
I WAS LIKE, "I WILL LEAVE," YOU KNOW.
"YOU TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS, AND I'LL JUST LEAVE."
SO HE AGREED TO IT, AND I STAYED WITH MY FRIEND FOR A WHILE,
AND I GOT CAUGHT DRINKING TWICE,
AND I WAS JUST REALLY BAD.
I MADE DRUG AND DRINKING FRIENDS, YOU KNOW,
AND THOSE PEOPLE AREN'T COOL.
I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW I MADE IT THROUGH.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M REALLY GLAD THAT I FOUND PEGGY AND MARK, THOUGH.
IT WAS JANUARY 20th THAT I HAD MOVED IN,
AND AFTER BEING THERE FOR A YEAR, YOU KNOW,
IT WAS JUST LIKE A SMILEY DAY,
LIKE, "YOU'VE BEEN HERE, YOU KNOW, FOR A YEAR,"
AND IT WAS JUST REALLY NICE.
IT IS NICE.
IT WAS A LONG PROCESS. IT WAS REALLY LONG.
IT WAS REALLY HARD TO DEAL WITH.
AND I JUST KEPT GOING,
'CAUSE I KNEW IT WOULD ALL GET BETTER EVENTUALLY.
I TALK WITH MY REAL MOTHER ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK,
AND SHE LIVES IN VIRGINIA NOW,
AND SHE'S GETTING BETTER.
IN THE LONG RUN, I THINK IF I NEEDED ADVICE FROM ANYONE,
AS FAR AS BEING IN TROUBLE OR HAVING A PROBLEM,
I WOULD MOST LIKELY GO TO PEGGY AND MARK.
I WOULD, 'CAUSE I TRUST THEM.
AND I GRADUATE IN LESS THAN A YEAR,
AND I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THEM YET.
I DON'T.
I WISH I COULD STAY WITH THEM FOREVER NOW.
THEY'RE REALLY OUT ON A THIN LINE
WHEN THEY LEAVE A FOSTER HOME
AND THEY GO OUT ON THEIR OWN AND THEY TRY AND DO IT,
'CAUSE THEY FEEL THIS BREAK WITH THEIR FOSTER FAMILY.
I WAS NOT READY TO MOVE OUT.
I WANTED TO STAY WITH HEIDI FOREVER.
WELL, WE GAVE YOU THIS CLASS ON HOW TO BALANCE YOUR BUDGET
AND DO A CHECKBOOK WHEN YOU WERE 16.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT?
GO ON OUT THERE AND DO IT NOW.
THAT UNFORTUNATELY IS THE MODEL
IN TOO MANY PLACES IN THIS COUNTRY.
LIKE, OKAY, FOSTER CARE IS HERE, AND NOW IT'S DONE,
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, BOOM.
GOOD LUCK. SEE YA.
OH, YEAH, I HAVE THIS JOB MAKING $6 AN HOUR,
AND THIS WILL BE GREAT.
I CAN MOVE OUT AND DO WHATEVER,
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, $6 DOESN'T COVER MUCH AT ALL.
SO IT WAS QUITE A SHOCK ON HOW MUCH REAL LIFE REALLY COSTED.
WE FOUND THAT LESS THAN HALF OF YOUTH
AGING OUT OF FOSTER CARE IN WISCONSIN
HAD AS MUCH AS $250 TO THEIR NAME WHEN THEY LEFT CARE.
YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT WRITING THAT $300 CHECK OUT MEANS
UNTIL YOU DO IT.
ABOUT 12% OF THEM BECOME HOMELESS
WITHIN THE FIRST YEAR, 1 1/2 YEARS,
LITERALLY ON THE STREET, HOMELESS.
IF THERE WERE SOME KIND OF A SLOW INCLINE
OFF OF THE SERVICES,
THAT THEY WOULD PERHAPS EVEN DO
A PARTIAL PAY ON HEALTH INSURANCE.
I CAN'T GO TO SEE A DOCTOR, EVEN IF I'M SICK,
UNLESS I PAY CASH RIGHT THERE.
I HAVE STILL TO THIS DAY, NO INSURANCE,
AND I OWE OVER $5,000 IN MEDICAL BILLS.
THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING.
I THINK THAT THAT LACK OF FINANCIAL RESOURCES
ALSO CONTRIBUTES TO SOME OTHER OUTCOMES WE OBSERVED.
WE FOUND THAT ABOUT 1/4 OF THE MALES IN OUR SURVEY,
A SMALLER PERCENTAGE OF FEMALES,
WERE INCARCERATED AT LEAST ONCE
IN THE FIRST YEAR, 1 1/2 YEARS AFTER THEY LEFT THE SYSTEM.
AND NOW, PART OF THE REASON WHY THEY WERE SO SUCCESSFUL
WAS BECAUSE THEY HAD ALL OF THE SERVICES
AND THEY WERE SO INSULATED.
THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN, THEY GET ON THEIR OWN,
AND OOF, IT'S AWFUL COLD OUT THERE.
THE OTHER THING WE HAVE TO DO IS,
WE NEED TO CHANGE SOME REGULATIONS.
WE NEED TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR FOSTER PARENTS
TO CONTINUE TO CARE FOR YOUTH AFTER THE AGE OF 18,
AND WE MAY WANT TO SEE
SOME OF THE FEDERAL MONEY THAT'S NOW COMING DOWN
THAT CAN BE USED FOR TRANSITIONAL HOUSING
AS A WAY TO CONTINUE TO PROVIDE
FINANCIAL SUPPORT TO FOSTER PARENTS.
IT'S PERFECTLY LEGAL UNDER FEDERAL LAW NOW.
AND THE LAW BUILDS IN A REQUIREMENT THAT STATES
MONITOR WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUTH.
THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO ACTUALLY LOOK AND SEE
WHAT HAPPENS TO KIDS WHO AGE OUT OF FOSTER CARE.
AND THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT
BEING HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT YOU'RE DOING
THAT TENDS TO MAKE GOVERNMENT PERFORM BETTER,
SO I HAVE A LOT OF HOPE
FOR THINGS GETTING BETTER IN THE NEXT FEW YEARS.
MY VIEW OF FOSTER KIDS IS THAT THEY'RE OUR KIDS.
Captioning provided by the U.S. Department of Education.
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