(cow mooing) (crickets chirping)
(glass shattering)
(whooshing)
- [Ginger] Who was I before and who am I now?
It feels like the person I was is a long lost friend.
Yeah, I lost her.
But maybe if I can put my life back together
I'll find her again.
Or maybe I'll find someone I like a little better.
(upbeat music) ♪ I better tell you ♪
♪ Before you get close ♪
♪ I'm a special case ♪
♪ I'm not like the other ones ♪
♪ There is a reason ♪
♪ Why I'm still alone ♪
♪ If you want to stick around ♪
♪ You need to ask yourself ♪
♪ Are you enough of a man ♪
♪ Can you take me at the end ♪
♪ I think you may be special, babe ♪
♪ But I'll never change for someone else ♪
♪ If your heart's strong enough to handle me ♪
♪ You may be special, babe ♪
♪ But I like my whiskey on the rocks ♪
♪ You better know ♪
♪ What you're dealing with ♪
♪ It won't be easy to win my heart, babe ♪
♪ You better be ready ♪
♪ If you want me ♪
♪ You better know that you don't stand a chance, boy ♪
♪ Are you enough of a man ♪
♪ Can you take the other end ♪
♪ I think you may be special, babe ♪
♪ But I'll never change for someone else ♪
♪ If your heart's strong enough ♪
♪ To handle me ♪
- [Ginger] Wait, what do I do now?
- [Bree] I don't know.
- [Ginger] I'm just gonna stay 22.
No, I'm serious, Bree.
Like, I didn't get a degree because I want a stable job,
I got it because I like writing, you know?
I don't need insurance or a 401k package.
- [Bree] Is it a package?
- [Ginger] I don't know.
What is she doing?
Is she doing yoga?
That's weird.
- [Bree] We could do that.
(both laughing)
Shit, dude.
It's almost seven.
- What?
- It's almost seven.
Where did the night go?
- Oh shit.
Shit.
My interview's at eight.
Shit! - Like, like in an hour?
- Yes!
Oh my fucking shit!
Fuck, shit!
- God. - Shit!
- Okay. - Bree!
- I'm sorry, I'm coming. - Bree!
- I'm sorry, I'm so drunk.
- I have to be a business lady.
(upbeat music)
(printer whirring)
(spitting)
(door thudding)
(upbeat music)
- Margaret Mathis.
Margaret.
Mathis!
- Yep, that's me.
- He's ready for you.
- Cool.
Could I put this in your trashcan?
(laughs) 'Cause I, okay.
(plastic rustling)
- Hi, good morning.
So, Margaret.
- Actually, it's Ginger.
It's kinda my thing.
- Right.
- This is a cool pen.
- Thanks, yeah, we get 'em at conferences.
They hand them out, vendors do, so.
If you join our company you'll get
a lot of pens like that, too.
- Ooh, conferences.
Sounds like a fancy fancy life.
Ooh.
- If you like pens.
- You probably want a resume, don't you?
- Yeah, but don't worry about it,
your mom actually sent one over.
And she also sent over a 500 word essay
on why we should hire you,
so I can just pull it up on the computer.
- Oh.
- Yeah, so tell me a little about yourself,
what brought you into the office today,
why you wanna be in publishing.
- That's a tough question.
You're like, "Oh, let's ask all the hard ones first."
Um, well, if uh, you know, if I were to um,
tell you why I wanna be an editor, I'd um.
♪ I'd like to thank you for your time ♪
♪ For all of you in my life ♪
♪ I'd like to thank you for your time ♪
- Fired.
You're fired, look at this mess!
- Yeah, so you're working on it, I can tell.
Now just add a little bit more self hate
and you'll be Mary right away.
- Perfect.
Um, here's your cup of diabetes.
- Yay, diabetes, mm!
And I promise, I'll pay next.
- [Bree] Yeah, sure.
- Hey, Ginger, who's it going?
- Uh, it's pretty good.
- Good.
Um, well listen, I'm supposed to close tonight,
but I need you to do it for me.
Ginger?
- Sorry, what?
- [Mary] Can you stay late?
- Yeah, that's fine.
- You are the best.
- I can't believe that bitch is making
you stay late tonight.
- It's whatever.
I mean, I could use some money, so.
- Um, here.
If your life goals aren't becoming Scary Mary.
- [Ginger] Fuck off.
- But seriously, editing?
- It's a prestigious career according to my mom.
- Okay.
Listen, you're my best friend, so don't take
this the wrong way, but if you're still stacking books
here in 30 years I'll fuckin' kill ya.
- Oh.
How about them apples?
God, that would suck.
(bell dinging)
(keys jingling)
(door squeaking)
(paper rustling)
(text beeping)
(train humming)
(knocking)
Hi, it's me.
I don't know if you remember me.
(door thudding)
- [Steve] Hm, what is that?
Can you put your arm above your head?
- Why?
- Have you ever felt this before?
- My boob?
- That lump.
- Oh, I get it.
Is this some sort of doctor fetish?
- Could be a fibroadenoma.
A cyst.
It's probably nothing.
Keep an eye on it.
You're what, 23?
- [Ginger] Isn't that what ya like about me?
- Make sure you lock the door behind you this time.
- You know, this wouldn't be a problem
if you gave me a key, right?
♪ She don't settle ♪
♪ She's says the can bet on me ♪
♪ It's always better ♪
♪ She says she gets just what she needs ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ It's my my my my way ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Or nothing, no, nothing ♪
- [Ginger] How was rehearsal?
Do you think you're ready for your show?
- Yeah, when am I not ready to be funny?
(gasps) Oh my God!
The fancy granola bars?
Where did you get these?
- Steve's.
- Ah.
How is the good doctor?
- He's fine.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Give you a, uh, full body exam?
- Yeah.
- [Bree] What, not good?
- I mean, I was good.
(traffic humming)
- Oh, okay, I feel what you mean.
How did you find this?
- Just in the shower.
- Okay, I'll be honest, Margaret.
With your age there's little chance
that this is anything serious.
- Okay. - Okay, but,
to be on the safe side, I do wanna have some pictures taken.
So, I am gonna write you a referral for a mammogram.
- Where do I do that?
(clock ticking)
- Mathis?
Follow me, please.
(door clicking)
Okay, uh, Margaret. - Hi!
- So, I just wanna verify a couple of things
before we head down.
Can you tell me your birthdate?
- [Ginger] Yes, I can.
My birthday is June 10, 1995.
- What?
- 6/10/95.
Why?
- You shouldn't be exposed to that kind
of radiation at your age.
(scoffs) I'll be right back.
- But.
(door thudding)
Naked.
- Okay, so, we're gonna proceed.
Uh, we'll head down to the mammogram.
Can you open your gown for a minute?
- (chuckles) Aren't ya gonna buy me dinner first?
- [Nurse] Okay.
- Sorry.
- All right.
You can close your gown.
- Okay, sorry.
- All right.
Follow me.
(light dramatic music)
(wind whistling)
(door buzzing)
- Hello?
- [Mom] Oh, now you answer!
Listen here. - Mom?
- [Mom] Do you wanna tell me why the hell
I got a phone call from a hospital about coverage
for a mammogram? - Wait, just,
give me like one second.
Oh my God, Jesus Christ.
Did you, uh, do something with your hair?
It looks bigger.
- (scoffs) Ginger, cut the shit.
I am going to need you to text me
the names of your doctors.
We are going to get ahead of this thing.
- What is there to get ahead of, Mom?
- You hungry?
I'm going to make you something to eat.
- Course you are, and you're going to go into the kitchen
and then you're gonna touch my things
and then you're gonna be like, "This food isn't healthy."
And then I'm gonna be like, "I know, Mom.
"Why do you think I like it?"
- I have a friend at work.
- Oh, you have a friend?
How nice.
- Uh, she is staying away from gluten.
I really think that that's something you oughta try.
They say that gluten is the new smoking.
Oh my God!
You don't smoke, do you?
- Oh my God, Mom!
Just stop.
Just please stop, please!
Just please, just get out of my kitchen.
Just stop, I'm fine.
- Fine.
How's the job hunt going?
- Oh my God.
Yes, let's have this conversation now, Jesus Christ.
- Sweetie?
Have you been getting enough exercise?
- Oh my God!
Come on, Bree, pick up the pace!
- I applaud your found interest in physical fitness,
but, in the words of basic bitches everywhere.
Ah!
I literally can't even.
Oh man.
Ow!
What the fuck!
- (laughing) Hey!
Sorry, I didn't know my aim was that accurate.
- Ben.
Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben.
- Bree.
What are you guys up to?
What are you doing out here?
- Oh, just hanging in hell.
This is my hell.
This is, this sucks.
- Um, hi.
I'm Ben.
Uh, Bree doesn't like to introduce people.
- Oh, he um, MCs some of the Ball Buster shows.
- Anyway, guys, I'm just out here playing Frisbee
with a buddy out there, do you guys wanna come play with us?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
- Yeah, why not?
- Why not, yeah. - Yeah.
I'm feeling the Frisbee vibe.
- What? - Yeah.
- Why, no. - I don't know,
it could be fun.
- It will be fun.
Just saying, if you wanna join us,
we got a cooler full of cider and beer, too.
- [Ginger] Could be fun!
- Well I guess I could play a little bit of this.
What is this, disc, Frisbee?
♪ Two, three, four ♪
♪ Early in the summer ♪
♪ Put me in a straight jacket ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm a criminal ♪
♪ I need some medication ♪
(high pitched ringing) (distorted music)
(door thudding)
♪ Mental patient and I'm getting bored ♪
♪ Blast me ♪
♪ What you (stutters) doing, doing ♪
(door creaking)
- [Bree] Hey.
- Bree, I--
- Don't even try it, you're not going home.
No, you are going to have another drink
and you're gonna dance and we're gonna go inside
and it's gonna be great and you're not going home.
So, end of story, that's it.
Okay?
- Are we too old to be doing this stuff?
- No!
I am, okay, you're not.
Embrace it, bitch.
(alarm dinging)
♪ Put down your guns ♪
♪ I need some answers ♪
♪ Still hearing voices ♪
♪ Still making bad choices ♪
- [Bree] Ow.
♪ 'Cause I'm a loser ♪
♪ You know, yeah, I'm getting more hurt ♪
- [Bree] Hey, do you wanna go get some breakfast pizza?
- Don't you have like $52 in your account?
- [Bree] Uh, yeah, Mom, but like.
Pizza's only like $10.
And breakfast pizza is the most important pizza of the day.
- I'll pass.
I do have some eggs.
I can make you some eggs if you want.
- [Bree] I don't want your sad eggs.
- But they love you.
- [Bree] No!
It's okay, I have to be at work at like noon anyways, so.
Ben and I might hang out after the show tonight, FYI.
What about you?
Are you coming in today?
- No, not till four.
(Bree sighs)
- [Bree] My breath smells like asshole.
- Hey.
- [Bree] Okay, your turn to get the coffee.
I want mine black like my heart.
- Where'd you put it?
- [Bree] I don't know.
- Is it in the bed?
I'll just bring it to you if you want.
- [Bree] (gasps) Oh!
- Did you find it?
Magic! - Okay.
I'll see you later. - Bye.
- [Bree] Bye.
(door thudding)
(upbeat music)
♪ Don't worry about me ♪
♪ I'll be just fine ♪
♪ I know you're gone, but not for long ♪
♪ You'll be back some day I know that for sure ♪
♪ But if you bever ♪
♪ Stop smiling ♪ - Stay, bike.
♪ I'll never start moving on ♪
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
Yes.
Okay, um.
What does that mean?
(drink sloshing)
(bell dinging)
- What the hell happened to you?
Hey, what's the matter?
Hey, talk to me, what's, what's going on?
- Oh, you're gonna need to change before you clock in.
- I, uh, need a biopsy.
- What?
- Um, they said they, uh, found something
weird on my mammogram,
and, uh. - Wait.
You had a mammogram?
- Um, they said I could do it this afternoon.
- Listen, I understand that this is urgent,
but I can't close tonight.
- Go.
I'll close.
- [Mary] If Bree doesn't mind, I'm fine with it.
- Dude, you had a mammogram?
- Thanks for taking my shift.
(phone dinging)
(muffled talking)
- [Mom] Now, where exactly is it we're going?
- [Ginger] Mom, come, it's this way.
Uh, that way. - Oh.
- Yeah. (Mom groans)
Wow, this is so nice.
It almost feels like a real date.
(Ginger chuckles)
Ow.
Careful.
- What?
- I, I got a teeny tiny biopsy the other day.
- That lump I found?
Holy shit, I was right.
- Don't worry about me, I'm fine.
- Oh yeah, are you doing okay?
- Yeah.
They just stuck a giant needle in my tit.
- I know what a core needle biopsy is.
- Of course you do.
Almost Doctor Steve.
- At least I'm almost something.
I would've think you meant is thank you.
- What?
- I found the lump.
- So?
- That could be cancer.
You know that, right?
- But you said I was too young.
- Yeah, but there are plenty of documented cases
of breast cancer in young women.
You'd probably know that too if you were almost a doctor.
(high pitched ringing)
(heavy breathing) (somber music)
- I'm having a heart attack.
- Okay, okay, okay.
Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe.
- I can't breathe. - Give me a breath.
Okay, okay.
Come on.
- You work here.
Is everything always this beige?
It's like beige walls and beige blankets
and just like, "I'm a--" - Can you stop?
- Beige-- - Please stop.
You're going to be fine.
It was just a panic attack.
I'll talk to the ER attending,
have them write you a script for some anxiety pills.
- Thanks.
- [Steve] Does this happen often?
- [Mom] Where the hell is it we are supposed to be?
Nope!
Ginger, where are you?
- Mom! - Ginger?
- Oh, my God.
I'm right here. - Oh, my God!
Are you okay?
- Yes, Mom, I'm fine. - What did they say?
- They said a lot of things. - Are you her doctor?
What is going on?
How is she doing? - You're just gonna keep
on talking, aren't ya? - What does this mean?
Is it related to the biopsy?
- No, Mom, I'm fine.
This, he's not my doctor.
- Well, who are you then?
- Why don't I give you two some privacy?
- Sweetie, who was that?
- Just a friend from work, Mom.
- Oh.
So he works with you at the boutique then, right?
- Can we just not right now, please?
- (sighs) Look at you.
You're a mess, hun.
- What are you doing?
(light music)
- Have you been staying away from gluten?
- Jesus Christ.
(door thudding)
- Hello, everybody, welcome.
If everybody has a block and a strap
and all the other props you want, we can get started.
We're gonna go onto all fours.
And inhale, crown of the head to the pelvis
coming into a cat position.
And exhale, crown of the head to the tailbone, cow.
And inhale, up.
Swan dive down, fold forward.
Take a nice big inhale and bring
your awareness to your body.
(Ginger groans) So, you feel that.
Separate the knees and send
your hips back into child's pose.
Inhale.
And exhale.
(bell dinging)
- Why do you look so terrible?
- You don't even try to look
busy back there anymore, do you?
- You don't even try to look busy back there.
- Are you making fun of me?
- Yep.
- Whatever, I'm super cool. - No, you're not.
Were you, um.
Were you heavy breathing in the cheese aisle again?
'Cause I do that a lot.
- I do love a good cheese.
- Cheese is so Gouda.
- It is so Gouda.
(phone ringing)
Hello?
(phone buzzing)
(phone dinging)
- So.
You gonna tell me what happened?
- Sure.
Um.
I wrote it down.
They told me to, so I did, um.
There were, uh, lots of terms that I didn't really get, um.
Big words.
Uh, she said it was, uh, definitely cancer.
Uh, I, uh, I need surgery.
Uh, she said that, she said I need surgery
and she gave me a name of a doctor to call.
Uh, so I gotta do that.
- Why the fuck did this happen over the phone?
- Uh, she has to go on vacation.
She wanted to tell me before she left 'cause
apparently this thing is time sensitive.
You know?
It's kinda funny, though, right?
To think about doctors on the beach and stuff.
Like, that's weird.
She's probably wearing a bikini now or something.
You know, like, ah!
Like.
(paper rustling)
(Ginger sniffling)
I don't know what to do, Bree.
(both sighing)
- Treatment varies based on personal preference.
So the recommendation for patients in this situation
is radiation therapy and chemotherapy.
Margaret, I really need you to hear me right now,
and I know this is difficult.
Due to the size of the tumor in accordance with your age,
we are recommending a mastectomy to one or both breasts
to help minimize the chance of the cancer
coming back in another part of your body.
We'd remove all of the breast tissue
and reconstruct the breast if that's what you decide.
Did you understand that?
(distorted music)
- Fuck you!
Fuck you, fucks!
Shit!
Fuck you!
(Ginger screaming)
- Honey?
- Yeah.
- So, I don't need an answer right now.
Take some time to think about it.
If you have any questions, feel free to reach out.
(door thudding)
(Mom scoffs)
- What?
Mom, you really don't have to do that.
- Don't worry about it.
Really.
(Mom laughing)
I do not believe that you still have this thing.
- Mom, no.
No, that is not happening.
- Well. - No, nope.
No.
- [Mom] Yes!
- No, it's not.
Sorry!
What? - You're!
- Mom.
- You.
You can't stay here by yourself!
- Yes, I can.
- No, no. - Yes.
Yes, I can, Mom.
(bag rustling)
- Here.
At least put something healthy in your stomach.
Okay?
- Okay.
(door thudding)
Yep.
This is a fun time.
Just fun and grand and.
(phone ringing)
Okay.
What is it?
Oh.
Ben!
Hi, Ben.
How's it going, Ben?
- Hey, Ginger.
I'm at the bar around the corner here.
So, why don't you come down and have a drink?
- I can't.
- Oh.
Okay, um, you wanna try and hang out next week then?
- I don't know, Ben.
Why don't you tell me?
- What?
- 'Cause I'm turning over a new leaf, you know?
- Uh, Ginger, are you okay?
- Ben, you're awesome.
Literally coolest person I've ever met other than myself.
Um, but I just found out that I have cancer, so.
- Oh my god.
Holy shit.
- Listen, Ben, I'm gonna go back to eating my feelings now,
and, um, you know.
Hey, Cosmo.
Do you wanna order some pizza?
Yeah.
How are we gonna do that, Ben?
- Ginger, wait, hold on.
- Bye.
(door buzzing)
Who is it?
- It's me, Ginger.
It's uh, Ben.
I thought you could, uh, use some company,
so I brought someone that I'd like you to meet.
Stop.
Speak! (dog barking)
♪ I've had enough of ♪
♪ This day ♪ - He's so cute!
♪ It seems to me that everything ♪
- Yep. ♪ Has come so fast these days ♪
- [Ben] So you wanna talk about it?
- [Ginger] No.
I'm kinda doing this thing where I'm repressing my feelings.
They're like, "Hi, Ginger!"
And I'm like, "Bye!"
♪ To get out of my everyday life ♪
♪ Let's run away ♪
♪ Very far away ♪
♪ Let's stop the time ♪
♪ And enjoy this life ♪
♪ Can we go somewhere new ♪
♪ Some special place ♪
(both laughing)
- Nom nom nom nom nom.
Your face.
- Come and get it, girls.
(both laughing)
- That's hot.
I like that.
- You're gonna have rice in your bed for days.
- Whatever.
I can just eat it later.
- So, are you feeling nervous about chemo?
- I'd say no.
Um, I read online that it shouldn't be that bad.
♪ Let's run away ♪
- Okay. - Yeah.
♪ Very far away ♪
- Fuck cancer.
Fuck it!
- Fuck it.
It's so weird.
- What's that?
- Oh my God.
This, give me that.
- [Ben] What's weird?
- I don't know, this whole thing is just different
than what I imagined, you know?
I had this really silly idea that somehow
I'd become magically changed, you know?
But I'm just tired.
My dad, he um, he used to say,
"If an egg breaks from the outside, life ends.
"And if an egg breaks from the inside, life begins.
"Good things start from the inside, Ginger."
Yeah, Dad, cancer starts on the inside, so.
He's a fucking idiot anyway.
- Speaking of your dad, what's his story?
- I don't know.
He left when I was a kid.
It's not like he's not in my life or anything,
he's just down in New Orleans with all his, um.
But it's just hard 'cause like if we even have
a real conversation he just kind of just
pushes it away with a joke.
What can I do with that, right?
What about you?
What's your dad like?
Is he as much of a butthead as mine?
What?
Is he like a monster truck driver
and you're really embarrassed?
Um, I'm sorry, I-- - It was a long time ago.
Dialysis sucks.
By the time the end came, I was, uh, I was glad
'cause he wouldn't be in pain anymore.
That line about the egg's fucking stupid.
- Hey.
I don't like seeing you sad.
I could, um, I could do something silly so you'll laugh.
- Okay.
- Okay, so I have this like secret ability.
Now I have to do it, okay, um.
(Ben chuckles)
Isn't it weird?
Super weird, right?
I feel like I'm half bull, half Ginger.
I mean, what's that all about, right?
- Half Dolly Parton.
- [Ginger] I guess.
- Sup fuckers?
Guess what I have?
(Bree groans) (light music)
(all laughing)
Hey, hey.
You should, you should write this down
'cause this is funny.
'Cause you're probably not gonna remember it tomorrow.
- But we just sat down.
I feel like I just wanna like sit down.
- [Bree] Really?
- [Ginger] What?
- You always sit down.
You're, you're a sitter.
- A sitter? - You know that?
You're a sitter and you're always sitting on your ass
and you should just fucking just get up.
(Bree groans) (Ben squawks)
♪ My time ♪
- [Ben] Is that your card?
Yes, sir!
- [Bree] Okay, do it.
- Okay.
Is this your card?
- Yes!
- Wow, really?
(both laughing)
- Guys?
What if it does spread and they can't fix it?
And the dog outlives me?
♪ My time ♪
(both laughing)
- [Bree] The dog!
- [Ginger] Make him remember me!
♪ Gotta keep on walking ♪
- He's gonna be here in like a minute.
I think that's him?
(door thudding)
- [Driver] Hey, ladies, how you doing today?
- [Bree] Oh, we're good.
How are you?
- I'm good today.
You girls going to work?
- We're going to the hospital, what do you think?
- You girls are doctors then?
- Nope.
I do have cancer, though, thanks for asking.
(sighs)
- My mother's best friend had cancer.
Then she went to Cancer Patient Center of Chicago,
that's where she went.
- How's she doing?
- [Driver] She died.
- Seriously, dude?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
- I'm not saying you're gonna die,
I'm just trying to relate.
- Okay, all right, say die one more time,
and I'm giving you like no stars.
- We rate passengers, too.
(light music)
♪ Today ♪
♪ I feel the same way as an empty shell ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ I feel as lonely as hell ♪
♪ In my head ♪
♪ And I'm so tired ♪
♪ Of feeling this way ♪
♪ And when I look at you ♪
♪ It makes me realize ♪
♪ I don't even know who I am ♪
♪ But maybe some day ♪
♪ Maybe some day I will find me ♪
♪ Till maybe some day ♪
♪ Maybe some day I will find you ♪
- [Ginger] No!
Bree, stop, no!
- Damn it, Ginger. - No!
- This is going into your ass whether you like it or not.
(Ginger squeals)
Come on!
Do you wanna get an infection and die?
Do you want your white cell to plummet?
No.
So buck up. - Okay.
Okay. - Please.
Put it in quick.
- (groans) Okay, here we go.
- [Ginger] No!
- Damn it!
- Ow!
I wasn't ready.
- The element of surprise.
Shit.
(Ginger laughs)
It's long gone now.
- I guess we can't use that one again.
♪ And maybe some day ♪
♪ Maybe some day I will find you ♪
♪ I will find you ♪
♪ And maybe some day ♪
♪ I will find me ♪
♪ I know it will take some time ♪
♪ But I'm ready to do what it takes ♪
♪ And I know it won't be easy ♪
♪ To find my way out here ♪
- Um, I'm gonna need you to work a double for
me just for today and close up for me.
Okay?
And I won't even say anything about how
you're just sitting there on the clock doing nothing.
I think some time on your feet
might do you some good, if you ask me.
I just need a little help, is that too much to ask?
Does it always have to be about you?
- I'm just so tired.
(Mary sighs)
- I am totally alone running this place.
- Can't we, uh, just call Bree?
Can't she-- - She would hit overtime.
It's not like you can't work, right?
Oh, God.
You know what?
When I was in high school I had three different jobs.
Three.
And I showed up early every single day to those jobs
and I always left late.
You know what?
And in the three years I've had this business,
not once did I have anyone support me.
(muffled talking)
Where are you going?
Ginger!
- What?
- Your apron.
And don't even think about coming back here.
(rock music)
- Yes!
Oh my God.
(laughing)
(phone dinging)
- [Mom] Uh, you just quit then, 'cause it's hard?
Moving in with Bree is not a solution!
I just wish you would take things a little more seriously.
- What do you want me to do, Mom?
Do you want me to cry?
Do you want me to be serious?
- No. - Is that what you want?
Do you want me to freak out like you do?
- [Mom] I just want you to let me help you.
- Yeah?
- [Mom] Yeah.
- Well I can take care of myself.
- Of course you can.
(door thudding)
- [Ben] Hey.
(Ben sighs)
(birds chirping)
- Yeah.
Bree, please turn that off.
- [Bree] No, any last words?
- No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Turn it off, please, just turn it off.
- [Bree] No, come on.
It's fuck cancer, remember? - Yeah!
- [Bree] Yeah, fuck cancer!
Your epic warrior story.
(Ginger laughing)
You can do this.
You'll thank me. - Yeah.
Okay, well then let's.
Oh, god, okay, let's just stop everything
and let's do it.
Uh, yeah, I'm ready, I'm ready.
I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.
- In the words of Spongebob.
Are we ready?
- Yes.
- We do not sound ready.
(Ben laughs)
- No, um.
Okay, I'm ready, I'm ready.
I'm just, I'm closing my eyes, is that okay?
- Yes, that's fine.
Here we go.
(shaver buzzing)
- I don't know.
- It's okay.
And we're off.
(Bree cheers) - Okay.
Is it supposed to feel like that?
- [Ben] Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like someone's tickling your scalp.
You're doing great, okay?
(Ginger crying) We got you, we got you.
You're doing great.
- Okay.
- [Bree] It looks awesome.
- You look so good. - It looks so good.
- [Ben] You look so good.
- Do I look bad?
- You know, in that movie, uh, "V for Vendetta"
with Natalie Portman?
- Yes. - Yes.
- She looks so ugly compared to you right now.
- [Bree] Wow, wow, wow, wow.
- Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
- Yeah. - Don't apologize.
This is, you're fine.
- This is good. - Yeah, this is good.
I'm good. - This is good.
- [Ben] You look good, kid.
You look real good. - Thank you.
I felt it on my shoulder.
- [Ben] Yeah?
Yeah. - Yeah.
- [Ben] Don't you always feel it on your shoulder, though?
- [Ginger] Okay.
- [Ben] To be honest, some of the hair was mine, I'm sorry.
- Can you shave your head, too?
- [Ben] I do not wanna get in on the fun.
(razor buzzing)
All right.
Here we go.
- Does it usually take this long?
- Yep.
- When do I look?
- I'm gonna touch you up a little bit.
- Okay. - Then we'll be good to go.
- [Ginger] Oh God, it's done?
- [Ben] Almost, almost, almost.
I gotta even you out, okay? - Okay.
(Ginger crying)
- You're doing all right.
You're doing good. - You're doing so great.
- [Ben] We got one more, one more, okay.
Just taking care of this for you, okay?
We're doing great.
You're doing great, okay?
Think you look great.
Okay.
Okay, almost done.
- No, okay. - Almost done, almost done.
Almost done. - Almost done?
- Almost done. - Why?
Feels weird.
- [Ben] Just think about how much money
you're gonna save on shampoo.
(Ginger crying)
- [Ginger] No, no, no, no!
- [Ben] No?
Okay, okay.
You're fine.
- [Ginger] But I don't wanna look.
I don't wanna look, I don't wanna look.
I don't wanna look.
(Ginger shrieks)
- You look great,
you look great. - No!
- You look fantastic. - You look so cool.
- You look fantastic.
Huh?
With that septum.
- Yes! - You look like a rocker.
Rockstar. - Look!
- I could get used to this.
I could get used to this.
I.
(Ginger sobs)
- You look good, you look good
you look good. - No.
- [Ben] Look good, feel good.
(Ginger sobbing)
- [Ginger] No!
(somber music)
I don't wanna look at it!
(birds chirping)
♪ My eyes are heavy as the storm outside ♪
♪ My mind is wandering places I don't like ♪
♪ I wish my heart ♪
- Now, for Nataraj, we're gonna take our right hand
and place it on our right foot.
Taking the left arm reaching it forward,
gazing at that left arm and pressing
your foot back into your palm.
♪ The daylight's fleeing and the lights grow dim ♪
- Margaret, hi there.
Nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you, too.
- [Woman] Have a seat, please.
♪ Oh I wish my heart could grow colder ♪
♪ As the front comes in ♪
♪ But give me a reason to fight, I'll fight for you ♪
♪ A wrong and a wrong take the right right under you ♪
- I can't imagine what you're going through,
but I'm a therapist professionally.
If you ever want to just sit down sometime and chat.
♪ Love talked so sweetly in those cold nights gone ♪
♪ But it holds no punches now the night turns dawn ♪
♪ Oh, I wish my heart could grow colder ♪
♪ As the cold front comes ♪
♪ But give me a reason to fight, I'll fight for you ♪
♪ A wrong and a wrong take the right right under you ♪
♪ A fool and a lover seem quite the same thing sometimes ♪
♪ Sometimes ♪
♪ Some, sometimes ♪
♪ The cars fly by ♪
♪ A sea of headlights bright ♪
♪ Above the stars they steal from shine a dimmer light ♪
♪ I will not give my soul to find the lesser prize ♪
♪ 'Cause everyone knows sadness comes and goes ♪
♪ It'll be all right ♪
♪ It'll be all right, it'll be all right ♪
- Do you wanna talk about it?
- No.
(phone ringing)
- [Doctor] Hi, Margaret, it's Dr. Lawrence again.
I am checking in to see if we can stay
on track with your treatment schedule.
Could you please call our office?
- So, uh, what do we do now?
- Our next step is a mastectomy.
Now, the risk of recurrence goes up for the other breast
if we don't remove that one, too.
So, if you'd like, we can discuss
how a double mastectomy would work, too.
- [Ginger] I, uh.
I have to pee.
(muffled talking)
(Ginger shrieks)
(thunder rumbling)
(Ginger sighs)
- [Bree] I don't know, I think I looked pretty groovy
on that dance floor.
- You were pretty cute.
- I know.
I try.
- [Ginger] Hi, ladies!
- Hi! - How are you guys?
I'm doing great.
I'm just having the best day of my life right now.
Who are you?
You're pretty.
Oh, I like your hair.
So, it's got little curls in it.
I used to have hair, then life decided to just
take a big whole shit in my mouth
and just say, "Fuck you!"
Do you know how it is?
Fuck you!
You know, just like, fuck you!
Are you gonna drink that?
Are ya gonna, are ya gonna, are you gonna?
- No. - Thank you.
Yep, I'm gonna drink it.
I'm just gonna (hums).
- Okay, okay.
Um, can I talk to you for a second?
- Fine, whatever, let's do it.
- Come on. - Let's have a little chat.
(Ginger laughs)
- [Bree] Okay, come on.
- [Ginger] Bye.
- I'm sorry, I'll be right back, okay?
- [Ginger] Nice meeting you!
- What the fuck?
- What?
- [Bree] I told you I had a date tonight.
- I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm kinda.
I'm kinda having a hard time, you know?
This whole. - Okay, yeah, sure.
And I'll be super happy to hear you complain
about it tomorrow, but right now I really need this, Ginger.
Really.
- Okay.
Yeah. - Thank you.
- It's just fine with me.
(thunder rumbling)
(rain pattering)
(phone beeping)
(thunder rumbling)
(muffled talking) (Ginger sighs)
- [Guy] Can I, uh, buy you a drink?
(Ginger laughing)
- I'm gonna take off my stuff.
Take off my scarf.
Here, take off my shoes.
Okay.
All right, okay.
Hurry up.
Okay, all right. - Oh!
- Okay.
(soft moaning)
Do you think I'm pretty?
- So pretty.
(Ginger laughing)
- Gotta take your shirt off, then.
- Oh! - Shit!
- Uh, holy shit, um, uh.
- Sorry.
I'm fine.
- Oh my God, uh, are you okay?
- Yeah, um, I just, I had, uh, I had cancer, um.
But I'm fine now, I just forgot a little while.
- It's okay.
I mean, it's weird, but it's definitely different.
- No, please.
I don't know you, so I don't feel comfortable without it.
- Is it gonna stay on all night?
- It's got these pads on it and like if you,
I guess if we just moved their heads like.
(guy laughs)
'Cause if we were doing it it would be like.
It's not moving right now,
but I guess there'd be more force than this.
Like that.
- It's okay if you wanna take it off.
- Really?
Okay.
I'll take it off.
(lips smacking)
- This is so kinky.
- Yeah.
- I've never done it with a bald chick before.
- What?
No!
Just stay.
I'm gonna put this on and I'm gonna, you're just.
This is weird and I don't.
Okay, um, can you just, can you like,
maybe you should just like leave.
I don't know what to say.
You should go.
(birds chirping) (traffic humming)
(floor creaking)
(smacking)
- Hey, look who finally made it out of bed!
- Hi.
- Hey, did you eat the last of the coconut gelato?
- Yeah, sorry.
It was the only thing that would settle
my stomach, so I ate it, so.
- I was looking forward to this all day.
This is the fancy shit that costs extra at the store!
- Sorry, Bree, I'll buy you some more.
All right?
Fuck.
- When?
When, when, when, when are you gonna buy me more, huh?
Because to me it looks like you're just gonna sit
on your ass in front of my TV all day
like you do every day!
- Okay.
Bree, you're kind of being ridiculous right now.
(Bree laughs)
- I'm being ridiculous? - Yeah.
- You know what, you're right, you're right.
I am for putting up with you and all of your fucking shit.
- Oh my god, you're insane.
- I'm, I'm insane?
I'm insane?
You know what, you're right, you're right.
Fuck!
(Bree groans)
What happened last night?
- I get it now.
I get it, you're mad at me because I interrupted your date.
That makes perfect sense, Bree, but you know something?
It's not like you know her.
- My date, my date?
Who the fuck did you bring back?
(Bree sighs)
You know what?
Fuck you.
Why don't you try, like, getting off your ass
every once in awhile and like taking a shower
'cause you smell like shit.
Or, or you could like try eating an entire meal
with the food I provide for us in my kitchen.
(Bree sighs)
I'm gonna go buy some fucking coconut gelato.
(Ginger groans)
(rock music)
(birds chirping)
(knocking)
(tea kettle hissing)
- [Mom] Feeling better, sweetie?
- I don't know.
- Okay, let's have it.
What is going on?
- I don't know.
Bree is.
I was just trying to rest and Bree,
Bree's just being a little bitch.
- Honey.
You know I love you, right?
But is Bree the only one who was acting like that?
- What?
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
- Just stop!
I am still your mother.
Sometimes I do know what is best for you.
You know, you may think that you are living
on your own by shacking up with Bree,
but I am the one who is still paying all your medical bills.
It is time for you to move on.
Grow up.
Start taking responsibility for your own life.
Look.
I know you are going through a horrible time right now,
but sweetheart, do you even know what day it was
when you called me up to complain about your back pain
and how this time you were sure you had lung cancer?
It doesn't matter.
I don't really do anything for my birthday anymore anyway.
I just don't want you wasting your life worrying
and obsessing about things that you can't even control.
Do you remember when you were little
and you were so sure that there was a monster under your bed
or in your closet and you were afraid to go to sleep?
And I would come into your room and take your hand
and we would look under the bed
and go through the closet together
until you were sure you were safe and you could sleep.
There are no monsters under the bed.
And I am still here for you when you want me.
Sweetie?
- There's something wrong with me, Mom.
I don't know what to do.
I'm, I'm just so scared all the time.
Feeling like this is worse than chemo, even.
- Feeling like what?
- I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna just become a buncha pictures
people post about on Facebook, you know?
- Do you think about this a lot?
- There's this, um, this one image that comes into my mind
and I don't know why.
But it comes and it's of me.
And I'm lying in bed and everyone I love is around me
and they're crying.
And in one
fraction of a second every thought
and every feeling and everything that makes me me is gone
and it doesn't matter what I was saying
in that moment or what I was thinking or, you know,
whatever, it doesn't matter because when I'm gone
it'll be gone, too.
How do I keep it from coming back?
- There's a chance it might.
- Then what's the fucking point?
What was the point?
- Have you enjoyed anything these last few weeks
while you've been thinking like this?
Are you happy, Ginger?
Worrying about what's going to happen
keeps us from enjoying the present.
I think it's fair you have a life worth living.
Otherwise, what's the fucking point, right?
- But how do I, how do I let it go?
- Chances are you're not just gonna let it all go.
That's why you're here.
You're gonna have bad days, everybody does.
You're here.
Celebrate that today.
You're here and you are enough.
- I'm bald.
I'm 23.
I have no job, my friends hate me,
and I'm a horrible daughter.
I have cancer.
- Is that really all you are?
(light music)
♪ Bags are packed ♪
♪ Are you ready to go ♪
♪ This time tomorrow we'll be on the road ♪
♪ Riding with you in the sunnier days ♪
♪ I wouldn't want it any other way ♪
(muffled talking)
- All right, all right, all right.
Great job, great job.
Okay, so uh. ♪ Take in the good with ♪
♪ The ups and down ♪
- The headliner tonight is going to be the Ball Busters,
so, what am I doing up here?
Welcome, the Ball Busters!
♪ Home is with you wherever that may be ♪
- All right, thank you guys so much for coming out.
We are the Ball Busters.
Um, to get us started tonight we just need some--
(woman singing)
♪ Home is with you wherever that may be ♪
(waves crashing)
- [Bree] Oh, so we're titty shopping.
- Yeah, shopping.
- Okay, what about her?
- Her?
Oh my god.
I could do that.
I could do that pretty good.
I could appreciate it. - Yeah, I could too, honestly.
- Those ones are cool. - They're so perky!
Stop, you're sticking out your tongue.
- I know it's creepy, but those are good.
- They're so good.
They literally look like the best boobs
I've ever seen in my entire life.
- Okay, all right. - What?
- Nine o'clock. - Nine o'clock.
What's nine o'clock.
- Over there. - Oh, okay.
- What about those?
- I feel like we're like 40-year-old men.
Like we're like the creepy dads that come here
with their kids. - Oh, it's gross.
- Just to stare at the other ladies.
- It's gross. - It's not.
- [Bree] Okay wait, so were you gonna--
- Okay, those, nice swimsuit! - (laughs) Sorry, I'm sorry.
- [Ginger] I'm sorry!
- Oh my god. - They were right there.
(both laughing)
This is so ridiculous.
- So, whatcha thinking about?
- I don't know.
This may sound strange, but if I really thought about it,
this is like the last of my real boobs
will be on the beach, you know?
I don't know.
Maybe if I had actually like, you know,
done something with my life and maybe
took care of myself I wouldn't.
I wouldn't be here, you know?
- Hey, stop.
It's not your fault.
- Sure.
- Hey!
It's not your fault.
- Don't Robin Williams me.
- Hey!
It's not your fault.
- Stop!
- Hey, Will Hunting, it's not your fault.
(Ginger shrieks) Not your fault.
- Let go, you fart.
- It's hot, I'm sorry.
- I'm trying to find my own boobs.
- Boob, Good Boob Hunting.
(both laughing)
Sorry.
(light music)
- It's like it's so quiet, you know?
- [Nurse] Hi there, Margaret.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'm just here to make sure the prep's going okay.
- Okay.
- You know, but I did wanna tell you,
after your mammogram, I went home and told my two girls
about you, how young you are,
and I told them to check themselves.
- That's great.
- But anyway, um, my oldest, she found a lump.
I mean, it's early, early, early thyroid cancer
and she doesn't even need chemo,
she's just taking pills right now.
She's gonna be fine.
But it's because of you, you know?
So, thank you.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
So.
Here we go.
(giggles)
We're set.
Okay, Margaret, I'm gonna take you down now.
Okay, we're all set, it's about that time.
Gonna take you back now.
- No.
I don't wanna go to sleep, Mom.
- Sweetie?
- I don't wanna go that way.
I just want one more moment,
I wanted you to see me, please.
I can change me, Mom.
Please, please help me.
- Oh, honey, you're gonna be okay.
You will.
- [Nurse] You're in good hands, Margaret.
- No, Mom.
They're gonna, they're gonna mangle me, Mom,
I really don't wanna go.
- Oh, sweetie, you are going to be just fine.
I will be here when you get out, okay?
I will always be here.
I love you.
- I love you, too.
- [Nurse] You ready?
(light dramatic music)
(heart rate monitor beeping)
(Bree sings)
- A muffin!
- Muffin. - Yay!
So guess what.
- [Bree] What?
- I'm officially rated PG-13.
- Huh?
- [Ginger] I'm a Barbie girl.
- I don't know.
- I don't have nipples.
- Oh!
Cool.
Well, I can um, I can score us some porn
if you wanna see some.
- Don't look at my mom when you say porn, it's weird.
- No, like, I just don't wanna,
I wouldn't want her to like see the porn.
- Can we just not talk about porn and my mom
- Great! - In the same sentence?
Thank you. - Yeah,
I brought movies, though. - Okay.
- Can you move your liquid?
- Uh, yeah.
(Bree groans)
- Okay.
- I like when it's like that.
What movies did you bring?
- I'm thinking like Leo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet "Titanic".
- Ooh. - Yeah, man.
(Ginger gurgles)
Ew, don't.
Oh.
- I'm gonna puke, Bree. - Oh!
Okay.
Oh, uh. - Shit!
- Here, in here, do that.
Oh god.
(Ginger gags) - Hey!
Got some flowers here.
(Ginger gags)
Don't.
All right, if you puke, I'm gonna puke.
I'm gonna go. - Yeah.
Okay, um.
Can I move your muffin? - No!
- Oh.
- I will eat this muffin.
I will eat this muffin.
- [Ginger Voiceover] Who was I before?
And who am I now?
It feels like the person I was is a long lost friend.
Yeah, I lost her.
But maybe if I can put my life back together
I'll find her again.
Or maybe I'll find someone I like a little better.
She's gonna be awesome.
- I've been writing a lot more.
- Oh yeah?
What about?
- Everything.
- What's coming up for you?
- I wonder will I actually, you know, get to be old
and, you know, who's going to love me when I look like this?
And it's just the thoughts,
they just, they keep coming and coming and I just,
I can't stop them sometimes and I--
- Okay, take a breath.
Take a big, deep breath.
- I still think it's funny that you make me do that.
I'm already breathing.
- Is writing helping you at all?
- Yeah.
It's kind of crazy almost, you know?
Like I'll sit down and I'll start typing,
but when I go back and I edit it after
it's almost like a guide, you know?
Something I wish I would've had when this all started.
But I was.
Maybe I have something to say to women
who are in the same situation as me.
- And what would you tell them, Ginger?
(light music)
- First off, I'd say, it's nothing like
what I thought it would be at all.
Nothing like that.
It's so much harder.
It's not like those really silly YouTube videos you see,
you know, the inspirational ones.
With that one girl that's like,
"I have cancer and I'm so happy!"
And you're like, "Okay, sure."
Underneath it it's just, it's so much more terrible.
But there's a lot of love, too.
You know, you really do, you find out how much people
can love you and how much they do love you.
You really do learn to appreciate that more.
But I don't know, I, somehow I'm okay.
And you know, I think the most important thing
I've figured out is that I don't just want
to wake up to survive.
I wanna live.
She's alive!
Oh no!
That was.
That was meant to be a joke.
(upbeat music)
♪ Everyone told me ♪
♪ The same damn thing ♪
♪ You all told me to escape from here ♪
♪ Because this aint real life ♪
♪ And real life is short ♪
♪ Is what they all said to me ♪
♪ So I like to feel ♪
♪ The fresh air on my skin ♪
♪ And I'd like to breathe and I'd like to live ♪
♪ Like every day could be my last ♪
♪ And I'd like to laugh ♪
♪ Until I burst into tears ♪
♪ And I'd like to run and I'd like to live ♪
♪ Like every day could be my last ♪
♪ Everyone told me to go away ♪
♪ Go very far away from here ♪
♪ Because in real life it goes by so fast ♪
♪ They say you might understand some day ♪
♪ So ♪
♪ I'd like to feel the fresh air on my skin ♪
♪ And I'd like to breathe and I'd like to live ♪
♪ Like every day could be my last ♪
♪ And I'd like to laugh until I burst into tears ♪
♪ And I'd like to run and I'd like to live ♪
♪ Like every day could be my last ♪
♪ I'd like to feel the fresh air on my skin ♪
♪ And I'd like to breathe and I'd like to live ♪
♪ Like every day could be my last ♪
♪ And I'd like to laugh until I burst into tears ♪
♪ And I'd like to run and I'd like to live ♪
♪ Like every day could be my last ♪