Wisconsin Public Television

Transcript: War Story: An In Wisconsin Special

Original Air Date: June, 2007

Announcer:

Major funding for In Wisconsin is provided by the people of Alliant Energy, who bring safe, reliable and environmentally friendly energy to keep homes, neighborhoods and life in Wisconsin running smoothly. Alliant Energy, offering energy-saving ideas on the Web. UW Health, providing specialty and primary care for all ages throughout Wisconsin. Information on UW Health physicians and clinics, and on University of Wisconsin Hospital is available on the Web. And Wisconsin's Technical Colleges, providing local education for the crucial occupations essential to our communities. Wisconsin's Technical Colleges. Communities first.

Frederica Freyberg:

The war in Iraq is front and center on the national and international political stage, of course, with deep divides over what to do about it. As important as it is, the political wrangling cannot touch the personal toll this or any war takes on the men and women who fight it. Here at home, some 30,000 soldiers from Wisconsin have so far been deployed. Among them, two Army National Guardsmen, who served in a Waukesha-based medical unit. One, a sergeant, a nurse. The other, a medical doctor and commander of the unit. We tell their story because they agreed to share it. Agreed to share a war story that includes lasting physical and emotional injury. We should tell you, this program includes graphic images.

Col. Kenneth Lee, MD:

We did a lot of convoys, two or three times a week, we were out on the road taking chances, but you know, that was what our mission entailed. Luckily, we had no deaths, but we did have many injuries. Nine out of the 72 members actually had a Purple Heart received for combat wounded.

Chris Cook:

We had a lot of mortar attacks. We had rockets on occasion.

Lee:

Did I have enough men? I wish I had more men and women over there to run all these missions. But you know, like every war, the country is strapped for logistics of many different reasons. So we dealt with it the best we can.

Cook:

You know, the citizen soldier, if you will, we have doctors, nurses. The majority of my unit was college students. And you're thrown into an environment. Granted, we all volunteered, but then you get thrown into a war zone and you have to adapt, and you have to adapt in a hurry.

Lee:

I would have to say, body armor-wise, they gave us what we needed. In terms of vehicles, no, I don't think the medical unit had the types of vehicles that we needed to do the runs. However, you know, again, we adapted. We used whatever kits we could find to turn it into an armored vehicle, rather than a typical Humvee that's aluminum sided.

But our unit was seeing, on a daily basis, regular sick calls, plus injuries and all that, about 60 to 80 patients a day. We had, probably, mass casualty, major trauma cases coming in at least once a week. It's a 24-hour, seven days a week service. It does take a toll on a lot of people. The mental stress of seeing the trauma day after day, working with young and old, such a devastation on a physical body. It is heartbreaking. A lot of times, you know, we don't think about a person, we think about it as one of the medical triage. But it's usually the afterwards, then it kind of hits you. My God, that kid was really young, that I just treated.

September 12, 2004, as one of the convoy mission, we were stopped by a security checkpoint because they found a roadside bomb and they were clearing it.

Cook:

We were traveling Route Irish, for people in the theater, they know it's a very dangerous stretch of road. Probably three-quarters of the way through our trip, we were actually stopped by U.S. forces. They actually had a vehicle across the road. Stopped our three-vehicle convoy, my commander was in the first vehicle. He radioed back and said that they had found an IED that was implanted in the road ahead, and that we were able to either turn around and go back or wait here for the bomb disposal group to come and take care of the IED. He chose the latter.

He actually went against the cardinal rule, it's always to keep moving. And in this particular case, we were standing still, like I said, a target opportunity. And many times, suicide bombers look for the standing target of opportunity. And you know, not thinking that that was going to happen, but we were standing on the side of the road. I think we were there for nearly 30 minutes. And out of the, kind of the right side of my peripheral vision, I saw something moving real fast and I looked. And there was actually a vehicle that was accelerating. I raised my rifle up and pointed it at the driver's head. And I remember firing once and right after that, I fired again, and the vehicle almost simultaneously after that exploded.

Lee:

I remember the face of the driver clearly. I also remember two shots ringing out right next to me as one of the nurses took a shot. I remember the spider holes on the windshield. And I remember an orange ball of fire and the heat that hit me.

Cook:

It happened so fast. When the explosion went off, one of the thoughts is I'm going to die here. And you have the real quick where your life does flash in front of your eyes.

Lee:

The first thing I thought when I saw the orange flame, I wondered what was going to happen to Kate, my wife, and what's going to happen to my kids. It played along that during the split-millisecond, I do remember there, "Well, here goes."

Lee:

I fell down immediately, and both my legs actually felt like they were on fire. So I thought I was on fire. I looked down, and my left leg was twisted and backwards. I could see the backside of my boot, which had my blood type on it.

Lee:

When I came to, I remember hearing helicopters, I remember hearing screaming, small arms fire. I'm not sure if we were under attack or the ammunition was cooking off. But I remember a lot of pain. And I remember the medic that came to treat me, and someone telling me that your vehicle is gone, it's burning.

Lee:

I instinctually thought well, if my leg is off or nearly off, I need to get a tourniquet on it to stop the bleeding. Otherwise, I'm going to bleed to death.

Lee:

I lost consciousness for about 15 minutes. Other injuries are in my arms, hands and legs. Luckily, my body armor protected me fully in terms of vital organs. So I had most of the burn and shrapnel injuries and nerve injuries.

Lee:

I remember I was coughing up a lot of blood. So, my first thought was that I had a chest injury. Of course, then, you know, God, I've got to deal with this now. And my back hurt really bad, so I had them roll me over. I actually had a piece of metal sticking out of my back. I'm like, just "Leave it there, don't pull it out, it's plugging a hole. Leave it in."

Lee:

As soon as I heard small arms fire, I was trying to take some cover. But I knew I couldn't move. Then I got scared again, I know I'm wide open here.

Cook:

To realize how helpless you are, and then the anger and the blame comes in. I blamed somebody for that helplessness. I pointed a finger at an individual. It was my commander. I was very upset with him, and he knew that.

Lee:

As a commander, you get blamed a lot. And part of our job is to take the blame.

Cook:

My commander has to live with that every day. I don't have to live with that, that feeling of guilt. I mean, I know I did what I was ordered to do. He gave the order. So he has to live with that every day.

Lee:

It's a very lonely job, the commander's job.

Cook:

I mean, don't have that feeling of anger or blame any longer. It is what it is. It happened.

Lee:

My job was to, you know, spend a year out there, and bring back all my soldiers. That was the promise I made to the family members before I left. I couldn't keep that promise and it hurt.

Cook:

I really had a hard time coming to terms with why I lived.

Freyberg:

What neither Sgt. Chris Cook nor Col. Ken Lee knew, in the immediate aftermath of the explosion was that the physical trauma would be only half their problem. Lasting emotional trauma, in the form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, would also nearly take their lives.

Lee:

I do remember standing there with two other nurses, watching this vehicle come towards us. I think it was a brown Buick.

Cook:

And they were coming right at our position. I just remember. I remember kind of looking down. I took my weapon off of safe, and I put it on semi. And I raised my rifle up and pointed it at the driver's head.

Lee:

I remember the spider holes on the windshield. And I remember an orange ball of fire and the heat that hit me.

Cook:

Here I am, how many thousands of miles away from home, and I'm going to die here?

Lee:

But I was scared. I was very scared when I came to and realized what happened.

Cook:

I instinctually thought, well, if my leg's off or nearly off, I need to get a tourniquet on it to stop the bleeding. Otherwise, I'm going to bleed to death. Consequently, they ended up getting me loaded onto another vehicle from another company. I had no idea who these guys were. They drove me through the streets of Baghdad and got me to the hospital.

Lee:

Three of us were medivac'd out from that Baghdad site to Germany, eventually to Walter Reed. At Walter Reed, I had four more surgeries.

Lee:

Had two surgeries in the hospital. I think I got six units of blood. Then they medivac'd me to Walter Reed, where I spent nearly 60 days in the hospital, and had a myriad of surgeries. I was usually going to surgery about every second or third day. I think within the first seven days I was there, they actually had a mental health team come around. And they said that I had signs and symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. And they suggested that I would participate in their mental health counseling, which I'm like, of course I'm angry. I'm laying in bed here. You're telling me I have a mental health issue, as well as this major physical issue. It was just kind of like, leave me alone.

Lee:

I thought I could handle it myself, especially as a physician. I didn't think I need any help.

Nightmares were very vivid about the incident. It's usually the sulfuric smell. The suicide bomber's windshield, the brown vehicle that I remember, his face. It was very vivid. And then that orange ball, the flame that came through. I remember that one very vividly. That was the usual one that keeps coming back. You know, I wake up with, you know, sweats and heart pounding.

Cook:

I love my parents with all my soul. And to be at a point in your life when you look at your mom and you call her the "F" word, you know, get the "F" out of here.

Lee:

I was flying out to a conference. I was in the plane. And just ready to fall asleep. I was at that stage when you're aware of the surroundings, but you're ready to go to sleep. I heard somebody come back from bathroom, sit down and he clicked his belt shut. That sound sounded just like a weapons charging. When I heard that, I said "Weapons green, weapons green." I was starting to yell, you know, because I thought somebody was charging their weapon when they shouldn't be. So the person that was sitting next to me just kind of freaked out.

Cook:

But I did spend a long time just crying by myself. I spent a lot of time when I was at Walter Reed, they actually put you up in a hotel that's on the base. I basically laid in bed with my leg propped up for weeks at a time, crying.

Lee:

When my unit came home, and I wasn't part of that homecoming, that was really bad. If I ever had a suicidal thought, at that time, and had the means to carry it, it would have been done.

Cook:

My lowest point was just wanting to die.

Lee:

I was playing a board game with my daughter, who at that time, was nine years old. And we were playing the game. She mentioned to me, "Dad, you don't smile anymore." And it just kind of hit me like a rock.

Cook:

I think my life would have probably been in a shambles had I not sought out treatment.

Lee:

I think I would have been more outcasted, and probably become more of a loner.

Cook:

Once I was able to be a little bit more up and about in a wheelchair, I started attending group therapy. And to go into a group of ten, 12 soldiers, men and women, to see people missing limbs and, you know, missing eyes; people that were in wheelchairs with leather helmets on who could barely speak, because they had such significant head injuries, helps to put things in perspective.

Lee:

I didn't want it. For a year, I knew it was there, I just fought it and said that's not what it is. It's just a phase I'm going through. Nobody really wants this diagnosis to be part of us. I definitely don't want it. At one point, I couldn't deny it anymore. I felt very embarrassed going for help.

Cook:

There's that certain level of bravado that we have, and that you don't want to show weakness. I still think that holds true. I think that you're doing yourself a disservice by not seeking the treatment. And not only are you doing yourself a disservice, but those people around you, your family, your significant other.

Lee:

For anyone that is thinking about looking for support, I think it's important to listen to the ones that are closest to you.

Cook:

PTSD can define who you are. Or, I think you can take the other path and actually seek out the treatment that's suggested and rise above it, and hopefully become a better person because of your injury and because of having Post Traumatic Stress. That's why I think it's important to talk about it.

Lee:

Once I started opening up, they help you open up, it was a big relief.

Cook:

I have a lot to thank. I have a lot to thank the veterans, the Vietnam veterans in particular, because I know that they were huge proponents that this is not going to happen to this generation. I really do believe that part of the reason why I got excellent mental healthcare was because of them and their voice.

Freyberg:

The voice of Vietnam Veterans allows Chris Cook to have a stronger voice of his own for what he believes is the right way to treat a returning wounded war vet. Cook says he still can't get past how his own state treated him. And he's not talking about the medical care. The personal attention, or lack of it, he regards as an insult to his injury.

Cook:

I actually hold a great deal of animosity toward the Wisconsin Army National Guard. I think when you become one of their wounded, I think you get kind of left behind.

Freyberg:

It was at Walter Reed, and later back in Wisconsin, that Cook says he felt abandoned by his National Guard that he had served for 14 years.

Cook:

When you get deployed, they really stress that we're this big family. And then I felt like the red-headed stepchild when I got back. It's difficult when you promote this close-knit family relationship that we're going to take care of our own. Then it doesn't occur. I would have much rather have not even heard that speech before I went. Then I wouldn't have expected it when I came home.

Freyberg:

Cook says top Wisconsin National Guard brass, including the General, did visit him when he first arrived at Walter Reed, but that to him felt like a hollow formality.

Cook:

They had difficulty. They came out once, pat on the back. And that was it.

Freyberg:

Cook acknowledges that the Guard is busy helping wage a war, but when asked what more he wanted from the Guard, he says something closer to what a family might express.

Cook:

It would have been great to get some phone calls, once a month, once every couple weeks, say, "How are you progressing? Is there anything we can do for you?" That human component, that human contact, I think, retrospectively, would have meant a lot.

Freyberg:

Chris Cook's dismay in turn dismays the front office at the Wisconsin Guard.

Lt. Col. Tim Donovan:

Well, I was surprised. Everybody here was surprised. We've tried to do as good a job as we can.

Freyberg:

Representing the Wisconsin Guard and speaking on behalf of its General, Col. Tim Donovan says talk of soldiers being a family is not just talk.

Donovan:

Well, they sure aren't hollow words. I know the people who made those pledges of family to the soldiers and to the airmen who have departed from the Wisconsin National Guard, and they care very deeply about taking care of our family that's deployed overseas and the families they leave behind in Wisconsin. And we do the best job we can. It's obviously not perfect.

Freyberg:

A phone call, a couple of phone calls, would have apparently made all the difference to him.

Donovan:

I wish we would have made them.

(troops marching and singing)

Don't even know

If we're ever comin' home

I don't even know

If we're ever comin' home

Donovan:

We try to do the best we can by all of them, but there are a lot of them.

Freyberg:

For his part, Chris Cook harbors what he regards as yet another insult to injury from his service.

Cook:

You know, when someone is put in for an award, you don't ask about it. You just wait to hear if you're going to get it.

Freyberg:

Chris Cook has been waiting for years, waiting to receive the Bronze Star with a "V" for valor that his commander put in for on his behalf in 2004. In recommending the medal, the commander wrote, "Sgt. Cook's actions saved at least three lives of his fellow soldiers and probably more..."

Cook:

The real bad taste is that I haven't received it yet, you know, we're going on how many years now, nearly two and a half years later.

Freyberg:

When Congressman Paul Ryan learned of the delay in 2006, he wrote to the U.S. Army. "It is my understanding that this recommendation has been submitted through official Army and National Guard channels at various times in 2004 and 2005, only to have it lost or misplaced without a determination."

By 2007, Ryan had had it with the delay, writing, "I want you to know that I find unacceptable the U.S. Army's lackadaisical efforts to present Sgt. Cook with the Bronze Star medal with V device. I certainly hope that this situation is an anomaly and not typical of the active components handling of valor awards to other members of the Reserve Components and medical retirees who have served our nation." Days after that correspondence, the National Guard bureau had Sgt. Cook's Bronze Star delivered to Congressman Ryan's office. A formal ceremony awarding it is set for mid-June. That's closing in on three years after the fact.

Donovan:

I wish it could have been done sooner. And we apologize to him that it wasn't.

Freyberg:

Col. Donovan says there is a backlog for awarding medals across all branches of the military. Cook currently works in the emergency department of Waukesha Memorial Hospital. He was medically retired from the Guard. He says receiving his Bronze Star will mark the final chapter in his military service.

Cook:

And, again, I'm a proponent of the military. I'm just very dissatisfied with the way the state has chosen to handle this.

Freyberg:

While initially surprised by his words, the Wisconsin National Guard is not deaf to them. As more and more of its soldiers return home wounded in combat.

Donovan:

We are doing everything we can. We're just now going to do a little bit better.

Freyberg:

Upwards of 450 soldiers from Wisconsin have returned home from Iraq wounded in combat. Latest statistics show at least a quarter of all returning vets suffer from mental health issues. In a region that includes northern Illinois and Wisconsin, the number of Iraq war veterans diagnosed with PTSD sits at more than 1,500.

Now, these numbers in part reflect a new way of doing the business of mental health screening. In particular, the Veteran's Administration is trying to help soldiers identify, diagnose and treat Post Traumatic Stress Disorder earlier and more often than in past wars.

Soldiers returning to Wisconsin from Iraq are met right off the plane by family and loved ones. But they soon separate again for de-mobilization processing at Fort McCoy. That processing includes mental health screening. The VA facility in Tomah has seen more than 300 referrals for mental health care of returning Iraq War veterans.

Jeanne Button:

It is the tip of the iceberg. And I think that there's more to come, especially now with the military doing the post-deployment screens on these soldiers. We're going to get more and more referrals.

Michael Brandt:

I know the VA has made inroads toward, to reaching out to the veteran. And that, one might argue that that should have been done decades ago. But the fact of the matter is it hadn't been and is being done now.

Freyberg:

Dr. Michael Brandt says the most effective therapy includes drug treatment coupled with exposure therapy.

Brandt:

That's probably the most grueling aspect of the therapy. However, it's probably the most beneficial, in that it reduces the fear by repeatedly exposing the person to what they feel the most. There's a wide range of emotions that transpire in this office. Weeping, screaming, rageful outbursts of anger, some that will experience flashbacks and become suddenly silent, very removed, disassociated in their thoughts, some will hallucinate.

Freyberg:

Brandt says therapy helps PTSD patients better cope, but it is not a cure-all.

Brandt:

It can be very successful, but seldom is PTSD cured. And I mean very seldom. Oftentimes, we educate the veteran that they will learn how to better live vocationally in their interpersonal lives, that PTSD may not interfere as much in their everyday life.

Freyberg:

And what about not just the stigma of the diagnosis, but its potential ramifications for employment or continued military service? Employers or insurance companies cannot access mental health records, we're told. But the military can.

Button:

We tell them that we're going to try to work really hard at getting them so they can be functioning adequately, and it won't interfere with their careers. But we can't guarantee that. And that's the sad part.

Freyberg:

Dr. Ken Lee continues his work as Chief of Spinal Cord Injury at the VA Hospital in Milwaukee. And he was instrumental in getting the 2007 National Veteran's Wheelchair Games to come to Milwaukee. His ulterior motive in bringing the games there is to make sure Milwaukee is wheelchair accessible during and long after the event. In addition, Col. Lee travels across the country speaking to Veteran's service groups about his war experience.

Chris Cook also makes public appearances, talking about PTSD in hopes of helping others. Two and a half years after the explosion that nearly ripped his leg off, Cook had yet another surgery when doctors discovered a long-simmering infection. That marked his 19th surgery. He continues his work in emergency services at Waukesha Memorial Hospital.

Our thanks to these soldiers and all others for their service. For In Wisconsin I'm Frederica Freyberg.

If you or someone you know would like information about PTSD treatment or resources, please see our Web site for links. You can go to: wpt.org/InWisconsin

Announcer:

Major funding for In Wisconsin is provided by the people of Alliant Energy, who bring safe, reliable and environmentally friendly energy to keep homes, neighborhoods and life in Wisconsin running smoothly. Alliant Energy, offering energy-saving ideas on the Web. UW Health, providing specialty and primary care for all ages throughout Wisconsin. Information on UW Health physicians and clinics, and on University of Wisconsin Hospital is available on the Web. And Wisconsin's Technical Colleges, providing the people of Wisconsin with the knowledge and skills they'll need for the economy of tomorrow. Wisconsin's Technical Colleges. Communities first.