[MUSIC PLAYING]
And if we were all like
stupid Barbie, then--
Then we'd all have a
husband named Ken.
And a sister named Skipper.
And if we were in the store--
And a baby named Kelly.
--and Barbie and Ken face
come to the front desk,
we would all go there.
I went through my
phase, you know,
alcohol, drug pain, and alcohol.
Yeah, I mean, when I went
to parties and stuff,
the guys tried to
take advantage of me.
And it's like, I mean, I
had no sense in my head.
And also trying to just leave
the situation, you know?
I think you should
leave it like that.
Because, you know, when I
cut my hair really short--
I mean, not to be rude, but it
made my face look really chubby.
And I really didn't like it.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
So what you gonna
do, do, do, do?
Are you gonna get up?
Get up, get up.
Me, me, me, me, me.
Hi, I'm Carrie Anne, and I'm 15.
Hi, I'm Simone, and
I'm 13 years old.
I'm Ashley, and I'm 14.
I'm Vanna, and I'm 14, too.
The producers of this show asked
us and a lot of other girls
our age to take
cameras like these
and talk to our friends
and classmates.
They want to find out what life
is like in today's society
for girls our age.
Together, we recorded
almost 100 hours
of interviews and conversations.
We hope you'll
take a few minutes
and listen to what
we all have to say.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
When I was 10 or 11, I didn't
have a lot of worries.
I wasn't worried about losing my
friends to death or to suicide
or to drugs and
alcohol or to sex.
I was more concerned with myself
and maybe becoming somebody
really big when I got older.
And now, it's like I'm
afraid to be really happy
because I know that
maybe tomorrow things
won't be so good.
What do you think
was the hardest part
about going through puberty?
Most girls didn't start
till fifth or sixth grade,
and I was in fourth grade.
Seventh or eighth.
Yeah, and so I was
kind of embarrassed.
But now, it's just like
everybody at my age
has hit puberty.
Everybody has their period.
Everybody--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
When I first experienced
it, I was like, whoa.
Am I the only one out there?
Yeah, I first got my period
when I was in fifth grade.
And I was the first girl
out of my whole school,
out of all the girls
to get my period.
And I was really scared.
I didn't tell anybody.
I didn't know what to
do and when to change
and all that kind
of stuff like that.
I was usually a
pretty calm girl.
But then puberty hit, and
there was tons of emotions
flowing all the time.
Yeah, I used to
get really angry,
and sometimes I still
do, and confused
and feel kind of
weird and gross.
I wasn't uncomfortable with it.
I knew what was
going on and things.
My mom was there to like,
this is what this is for,
and this is what you
have to do, and this
is how long it's going to be.
I was sad a lot.
I would cry for
no reason at all.
Then, like two seconds
later, I would be laughing,
and I couldn't stop laughing.
When I first got my period,
it was kind of embarrassing
because I first
got it at school,
and I didn't know what to do.
When I first became
a teenager, I always
wished I was a little kid
because their life seemed
so much easier, not
confusing or anything.
But now I'm fine with it.
You don't really have to take
on a lot of responsibility.
Right.
Everybody does
everything for you.
Yeah.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
The most important issue facing
the young girls like me,
around my age, from like 12
to 15, something like that,
I think it would have to
be sex, sex and drugs.
Three main issues in here are
body image, substance abuse,
and sexual issues.
I think drugs is a major issue.
I think being perfect
is a major issue.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm really insecure about
my looks and my personality
because there's other people
who are really pretty
and other people that have
a really nice personality
and that you want to be around.
And I don't see
myself like that.
I am trying to watch
my weight right now
because I am a
little bit heavier.
And I don't want to be
like that because you
feel like you're an outcast.
And you don't feel like
anybody likes you,
and you're not worthy.
And you just feel left
out of everything.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I don't really like the
way my body's built.
I've tried to lose weight a lot.
But well, every time I just
kind of go and slack off.
Then I start eating again.
And I don't have an
eating disorder.
It's just I'm a lot like my dad.
We really like candy.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I don't like my body
image because I feel
that I'm a little overweight.
I don't appreciate
the size that I am.
I mean, I wish I were
like model size.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
If a boy looked at
you for your looks,
and what would happen to
you, what would you do?
Because it's like that is
very-- to me, that's rude.
Because if he looked
at me like that,
and he didn't think that
I had a good personality,
and all he think that
he looked up from,
look, I would just
go find another fish
and swim in the sea.
I must increase my body.
The bigger the bed, the
bigger the boy's looking.
I can remember when I was really
young, like five years old,
I wouldn't care how big my
stomach was or anything.
Because you're a little
kid, you just have fun.
And now, as a
teenager, you kind of
care more about
what you look like.
And no matter how thin
you are, almost everybody
thinks they're fat.
How do you feel about
your body image?
I feel fine about my body image.
There's times I don't
think I look good,
but there's other days
I think I look fine.
But being a teenager, you take
body image very seriously.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
One of my friends,
I'm pretty sure
she has an eating disorder.
Of course, she would
never admit it,
and we have talked to
a counselor about it.
Because she was
struggling with bulimia.
And for that day, I wouldn't
let her go to the bathroom
unless I was right
outside the door,
because then I could hear her.
And she was like, would
you just get over it?
And I'm like, no.
You shouldn't be doing
this to yourself.
You shouldn't be doing
this to your body.
It'll just get weaker.
I heard her puking, and I
kind of felt really bad.
And for the rest of the
dance, I didn't know really
how to talk to her anymore.
And I guess that after I
told her it happened to me
and why I quit, and I told
her what can happen to you,
a whole bunch of stuff.
And so she quit too.
And now she's OK now.
She's getting lots better.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I just felt like I
was worth nothing.
I felt like I was huge.
Felt like I was so fat.
I used to look at
people and say, wow,
I wish I could be
as skinny as her.
I wish I had her hair.
But now I just try to accept
myself and catch myself
whenever I say, oh, I
wish I looked like her.
I just try to say,
no, I am who I am,
and that's who I want to be.
I didn't want to
be quiet anymore.
I wanted to be more fun.
And so over this summer,
I worked on getting
over some of my shyness.
Do you feel that you
are confident enough
to do just about
anything you want to do?
No. It's having
a personality.
And people fail to realize that
personality is what's going
to make up in the long run.
I like my body image.
I'm not-- you know, I'm not--
I'm disappointed that
I have this body.
I'm just plain me.
I mean, I'm like not
trying to copy off anybody
or trying to steal
what somebody else--
what somebody else has.
I'm just myself.
Once I get older, I
know I'll be somebody
bigger than what I am now.
So for right now, I'm just a
serious Santiago, Puerto Rican,
and I'm still going to school.
I'm a creation of God,
and I'm a Muslim,
and that I'm proud of
who I am and my family.
I have had a hearing
deficiency for a long time.
And just recently, they
discovered that a hearing aid
would help my problem.
When I first got it, I was
real hush-hush about it
and didn't want anybody to
know that, because I thought--
I mean, I don't know.
I just didn't want
people to know about it.
And then as I've had it
for longer and longer,
and it's come just
more like, oh, I
need to put in my hearing
aid, or I can't hear you.
Hold on.
I need my hearing aid.
And people have been real--
I mean, I've never had
anybody say, oh my gosh,
you have a hearing
aid or anything.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Something I think
that has really
been hard on girls our
ages-- well, especially for
someone like me--
is media and stuff.
[CHATTER]
I mean, a lot of the time,
it's all those skinny girls
on the magazines, and
I mean, girls that
are really pretty and flawless.
I think a lot of people
get hurt by the media,
like not just people in
general, but mostly girls.
Because they make
you think that you
have to be like a
certain person and make
them feel like they're
not what they should be.
And then they're like,
oh, I got to be this way.
So we're doing all this just
to make them feel something
that they're not.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I think that they have all
these people that everybody
admires, like role
models on TV doing
all this stuff for movies, like
being paid to show these kids
that drugs are OK,
alcohol's OK, sex is OK.
Next week on 90210.
Do we have any newcomers
here this morning?
Hi, everybody.
I'm Steve.
Hi, Steve.
I'm addicted to sex.
Nowadays, a lot of the kids
are getting less involved
with activities and stuff.
And some of them are going off
in their own little world,
and they forget that things
on TV are actually fake.
And they want to make
them become real,
and they're actually dangerous.
And I think that's influencing
a lot of the people.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I think that there's a lot
more pressure for girls
to have sex in middle school
and high school because
of other people doing it.
And on TV, it's like
all over the movies.
And I mean, people that
other people look up to,
other teenagers look up to,
if you see them sprawl out
on a bed on TV, I mean, that's
your role model right there.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
And I think the movies have
a lot of effect on the kids
today because that's like
all we see and we watch.
And it's like we get
influenced by them.
If we keep on watching
the same thing,
you're going to want to do what
they do on the movies or TV.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
What we think about sex.
It's like a main
topic in school.
A lot of people talk about it.
And there is a lot of
pressure at school.
Like, if you have
sex too many times,
then you're like a bad person.
As people at school
say, you're a whore.
And like sometimes, if
you don't have sex,
then people just think low of
you, like you can't get nobody.
I think some boys
are pretty cute,
but I wouldn't go out
with them or what
they call going out with
them because I don't know.
I just-- maybe I'm not ready
to make a commitment to them,
or maybe they're not ready.
But I don't think
I'd ever do that,
or at least not
until eighth grade.
I wouldn't like-- I
mean, if you really
wanted to do something
with a boy, I mean,
you'd have to wait.
I mean, I would never do
something that would change
my life forever.
I don't think sex is really
appropriate for this age
because I think you're
still too young
and you're still
adjusting and stuff.
If I don't have
sex, then I will.
[LAUGHTER]
But if I don't want to, then I'm
just going to say, nope, no.
Like most of the time, like if
there was this really hot guy,
you know, and like I
knew him pretty well,
I probably wouldn't say no.
Guys, they go out with girls.
Well, most of them,
they go out with girls
to see how far they can get.
And it's kind of like a
competition between them.
And they just-- they're like,
oh, I've got so far with her,
and I got so far with her.
And the girls, I personally,
I don't like it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh my god.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
My best friend from a while
ago was sexually abused
by her own grandfather.
And she struggled with
that for a long time.
And I think she experimented
a lot with sexual activity
when she was my friend.
And I think she
didn't really care
what the guys would do
to her because of what
she experienced before.
I'm not saying to myself--
I'm not promising myself
to wait till I'm married.
I think just I'm going to wait
until personally I'm ready.
And I believe that if I
were to get pregnant,
that that person would
actually pay for the child.
And I'd be able to take care
of the child myself also.
OK, as you get
older, you will take
on a lot more responsibility.
What is your biggest fear?
Not being able to
get out on my own
is financially support
me and the baby.
I have a 15-year-old
friend who's due any time.
And she's going through
a lot right now.
And it's really
hard on everybody
because we have to
be there for her.
And I don't think she
realizes just how much it's
taken out of everybody else.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
If you are in love and you
think it's a good thing,
I think that you should do it.
But you should use protection
any time you have sex.
And there is always a
chance of getting disease.
But there's always a chance that
you're going to get it either.
Never mind because I did
not know what I was saying.
It's hard for me
to say right now.
I mean, I'm only 14.
I don't know what the
future is going to bring.
But I can't picture
myself having sex
with someone at
such a young age.
A boundary is where you
decide if the guy is
going to respect you or not.
Because if he crosses
the boundary,
after he knows where it
is, if you tell him that
and he crosses, then you know he
doesn't respect your decisions
and what you want.
And to think about it, you
need to tell them before he--
So you can't say, well,
you didn't do this.
Well, you didn't tell me.
I mean, so if you're going to
do it, at least let them know
what you want before--
not what you want, but
how you take things.
What you'll take.
Yeah.
There are a lot of things
I won't put up with.
I don't like being
called a kike.
That type of thing will--
if they keep just
calling me that,
I'll just go and flip them
off just because of the fact
that that's not appropriate.
They don't do it to Michael.
They don't do it to Louis.
They don't do it to Chaim.
They don't dare do it to Chaim.
But they dare do it to me.
And whenever they do that to me
and they keep on doing that,
I just flip them off and
I go, shut up to them.
Because I try being polite.
And then when
they're not polite,
when they have no
courtesy left, then I'm
just not going to take it.
Like, these one guys asked
me if I would have sex
before I married.
I said, no way.
I don't believe in that.
And they made fun of
me and taunted me
about that and everything.
Molly!
I think sexual harassment is
anything that someone does
and you tell them not to.
Or--
Sexually.
Well, touching you or saying-- I
mean, sexual harassment is now
considered saying stuff to you.
And-- If you
touch anywhere
where it's inappropriate
and a person's telling
you directly in your face,
no smiles, no giggling,
stop, then you need to stop.
And if you can't take stop,
then you have a problem
and you need to get it fixed
before you end up in jail.
Also, I noticed
with the teachers,
OK, say it's going
on and they see it,
they don't know whether
to say something or not.
Because they don't
know if it's for--
Playing. Just for
playing or is it--
Yeah. I think
a lot of
teachers ignore it and try
to pretend like it's not
there because they don't think
it's all that important.
Yeah. When we
were talking
to a lot of girls,
a lot of girls in
the middle school is really
where we focused on.
And said that it is everywhere.
And it really is.
The eighth grade, a lot of
guys sexually harass girls.
But the girls lead them on.
So I don't think it's a problem.
In what way do they
sexually harass the girls?
They'll like tickle their sides
or make dirty comments to them.
And they just giggle about it.
And they'll complain.
The girls will complain to
the principal or a teacher.
And the teachers can't
do anything about it
because they never
asked them to stop.
So it's not sexual harassment.
Have you ever had
to deal with that?
Yeah.
I just basically just
tell them, stop.
And if they don't,
I tell somebody.
Do they stop?
Yeah.
I don't like it the
way some girls,
every time just to threaten
a boy, they're like,
oh, if you touch me,
I'm going to get you
nailed for sexual harassment.
I don't like it when
girls do that to guys.
Because really, I mean, some
girls take advantage of it.
I don't think it's too
fair to the guy either.
Because a girl could come up to
a guy and start touching him.
And what are they going to do?
Sound like a wimp?
Well, I've been
sexually harassed.
And it is not fun.
I mean, like what the person did
is they like snapped my bra.
And they like slapped
my butt and everything.
[CHATTER]
And it was not fun.
That kid had to go to the
police and everything.
And I was out of
class like every day
trying to talk to the
counselors and everything
along with two other girls.
Like such things as
sexual harassment.
You do not want that to happen.
[LAUGHTER]
I am the master man.
I know this stuff.
I mean, I am like dead
straight about this stuff.
If anyone does
anything to you, I
swear it's more commonly
to happen on the bus.
Because you talk more.
That is where it happened to me.
That was my mistake of not
doing anything about it.
And if anybody ever
does it to me again,
I mean, they're going down.
I'm not taking any chances
on something like that.
I don't think a
girl goes any day
without being sexually harassed.
I mean, it makes you a
little uncomfortable
if they come up and pinch your
side or touch you somewhere.
And you need to tell the
guys to knock it off or else
they're going to keep doing it.
And a lot of the girls
that get it the most
don't tell them to quit.
And so I don't think they
really have the right
to complain unless
they tell them to quit
and they still don't quit.
Oh my god.
I'm on TV.
What's up, brother?
Oh, I love boys.
I mean, I have two
brothers that are boys.
And so I mean, like, boys
are-- you know, they're
humans just like us.
Hey, stop.
I don't really judge
a lot of boys.
But I can tell you that there
is some boys in our school
that are, like, immature.
And I mean, like,
you can't really
talk to them because
they're, like, kind of silly
in the head and all.
I mean, but I have a lot
of friends that are boys.
Always, when I like a guy or
something, I'll be like--
I can talk to him OK.
I mean, I'll be
nervous, you know,
but when we're not going
out, it's just fine.
And-- but then I'll go out with
him and I'll just be like,
yes.
Nah. Look,
mashed potatoes.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm not used to not being
able to play football as much
because the guys are,
like, afraid to touch me
in the wrong spot.
Once in a while, you might
see them have, like,
a million dollar smile or, oh,
I don't think they'll like you,
but you really don't like them.
You just rather be
friends with them.
And then you just get to
know them as you get older.
Now they're changing
because you used
to know them as someone else.
But their personalities
are just changing.
Like, some of them could
be, like, real dorks
and really immature, but
now that we're, like,
in middle school,
they're changing
and you get to know them
as different people.
Some of them will actually,
like, talk to you.
I need guys in my life.
And if I don't, I,
like, go crazy.
I had a boyfriend.
I was never really around.
I was always with him
and we won't go there.
There's not enough
time, nor is there
an hour in the day for him.
But-- And
he was--
him and I didn't--
I mean, we didn't
fight or anything.
We just-- I don't know.
Well, they never
really talked, really.
Right. I hardly
knew him.
But he was kind of
cocky when I knew him,
so he didn't make a real
good first impression.
So I wanted her out of that
relationship, which she is now.
Guys are fun to have
as friends, too,
because it's, like, just a
different style of friends.
I like guys-- I like
guys too much, OK?
If I was a guy,
I'd go after guys.
I don't like boys, period.
Some of them are nice.
I hang around with some of them.
They're nice, but I
don't think I'd rather--
I don't think I'd
want to date one.
It's like, they're,
like-- they're boys.
My friends, they're,
like, basically girls.
And I have one good boyfriend,
but he's not, like, a boyfriend.
He's just, like, a friend.
OK, anyways, they--
they're my friends
because I can trust them,
and we have a lot of
good times together.
[CHATTER]
I think looks are important
in getting friends.
To me, they aren't, but to,
like, a lot of people, they are.
They basically judge people
on the way they look.
Sometimes it's kind of hard
to fit in with other girls
because it's like, if they're,
like, in this own little group
and, like, they--
they're, like, the most
popular kids in school, it's
kind of hard because, you
know, you want to
be, like, with them.
You want to be, like,
the popular kids.
I don't know if I really
have a problem fitting in,
but I always feel like I do.
And last year at school, I-- I
thought nobody liked me, and
I thought I was stupid and
ugly and everything, and
they all thought I was
stuck up last year.
That's why they didn't
hang out with me.
They thought I wasn't
hanging out with them
because I was stuck
up, but really, I
just thought they hated me.
This year, I was a lot
friendlier to everybody,
and I have a big
group of friends
I hang out with every day,
and I'm a lot happier,
and I don't dread
school as much.
I don't like it, but
it's not so bad anymore.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHTER]
Popular people at our school--
I don't know if it's like
this with other schools,
but a lot of them are
people that everybody's
kind of afraid of.
Yeah, or just don't even
like because they're, like,
either jealous of, or
they're really mean, or--
We hate them because they
think they're popular.
OK, personally, I don't
like-- Actually, no, listen.
I like--
Listen.
OK, we hate them because
they know they're popular,
and then they think
that they're cool.
But they're not.
Yeah. And so
they try to,
like, take over everyone,
but they can't.
And I wish you'd
talk-- It's blinking.
Uh-oh.
Oh, man.
Take-- no, take--
What I don't really
like about eighth grade is
how everybody comes to us
and saying we're snobs
and that, and that, like,
because supposedly we
have a popularity.
And I think we're just,
like-- We're normal.
We're just like everybody else.
Yeah. I mean,
yeah, maybe
we hang out with guys.
Popular group of guys.
Yeah, but it's
like-- Popular.
We do almost everything they do.
And, I mean, we don't drink.
We don't smoke.
We get good grades at school,
and so does everybody else.
I guess I fear rejection a lot.
I'm, like, afraid that
nobody's going to like me.
And, like, people are
going to just, like,
cut down my self-esteem
and self-worth.
How do you feel about that?
I think that they
reject me a lot.
[INAUDIBLE]
I don't think I'm good
enough for a lot of people.
I found out that I was basically
a person who isn't really
influenced by other people, who
kind of wants to be the leader
and wants to stand
out in the crowd
and doesn't exactly want
to fit in all the time.
I think that looks are
important when getting friends,
because people will
choose you by it.
But once you've
found real friends,
they really don't care.
If someone doesn't like how you
look, so they don't like you,
then they wouldn't
really be a good friend
if that's the only reason
that they like you.
If I'm in a group with a
whole bunch of white people,
I kind of feel
lonely and left out,
because I'm the only
colored person.
And sometimes, I
don't know, sometimes
being mixed with black
and white makes me
kind of feel depressed,
because most people, like most
black people say I'm proper
and I want to be a white
girl, stuff like that.
And for white
people, they'll say,
I'm trying to be black,
stuff like that.
So it's kind of hard for me,
since I'm in between cultures.
Doesn't matter what people
say about me or my culture.
I just like being Asian.
Well, people call me Chinese,
but I'm not Chinese.
My culture is Hmong, and
they really mistake us.
And then call us Chinese
and do all this mean stuff.
But no matter what they say,
I still have Asian pride.
I can't change
anything about that.
I'm still Asian.
Right now, I'm reading a
book called Chicken Soup
for the Teenage Soul.
I like that book, because
it shows a lot of things
that happen in middle
school right now.
It shows what's going on
and how they dealt with it.
And sometimes, you might
be going through that,
and you can read it
just to understand it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I have a lot of friends,
but out of all my friends,
my mom's my best friend.
I tell her almost everything.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
My hair looks blue.
I don't think you like
hearing us singing.
My mom and I, we can tell
each other anything.
Mostly from my mom.
I would have to say my mom
understands me the most.
Me and my mom, we are
really close in everything.
I can tell.
I feel comfortable
telling her stuff.
My mom means the world to me.
My dad and I aren't
as close, but--
Why do you feel like you're
not close with your dad?
I just feel sometimes he doesn't
understand me as a person
and doesn't really see me
for who I am sometimes.
How does that make you feel?
A little depressed,
kind of, sometimes,
because I want both my parents
to understand me and love me
for who I am and be able to
talk to me without judging me.
I'm nowhere near as close to
my mom as I am to my dad.
I get along with my dad
really, really good.
We are just so close.
Like, ever since I was little,
we did everything together.
And it's the best.
It's nice to know that there's
someone that will, like--
he'll do anything he can
to get me whatever I need.
Me and my dad--
well, my dad was
like my best friend.
I could tell him anything,
but I can't anymore
because he's never home.
And if he's home, me
and him are fighting.
So I can't really talk
to him about anything.
So I, like, got to keep
my problems to myself.
I can't tell anybody.
My dad-- it's great.
I love my dad to death.
It's definitely different
because I can't really--
he doesn't-- he can't, like,
relate to what I have to say.
But I think he appreciates
what I have to say.
My family-- there is
six of us all together.
I have an older sister, and
I have an older brother,
and I have a middle
sister, and then me.
You have a problem,
and you feel like you
can't go to your friends
or anybody else,
and, like, you know, you
have a good relationship
with your parents, then
you can go to them,
and they can help you out
because they've been there.
They've done that.
There's really no one I can
talk to because my mom--
I can't relate to her.
My dad-- he barely even talks.
And, I mean, I
guess you can say I
don't have the best family
life, but I have it
better than a lot of people.
So--
[CHATTER]
I'm not relating it, but
I really can't do it.
I have to-- you guys need to--
[CHATTER]
My relationship with my parents
is a lot better than most kids.
I talk to my mom, like, at
least a 15-minute conversation
just about every day.
I tell her everything.
And a lot of kids think
that's really weird
that I tell her so much.
And my relationship with my
dad is a little different
because he doesn't live with us.
But I still talk to
him quite a bit,
and I share with
him quite a bit.
I used to be really
close with my family,
but it's like ever
since I've turned 14,
it's like I don't
need them anymore.
That's what it seems
like they're telling me.
But the truth is, I
think I need them.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
OK, don't you think Ashley's
going to be a little bobby?
I'm raised by my mom.
She had me at a very young age.
And she didn't-- she-- thank
God my grandmother was
there because my mom
would probably--
I probably wouldn't be
with my mom right now.
And my mom has
worked really hard.
She had got her degree.
She finally got her degree.
She's working on
her master's now.
Well, I really never
had a childhood
since, like, my fifth birthday.
I was-- because I was the
oldest, my head taker,
and my brothers.
And now that I
live with my aunt,
she has six of the kids.
I got to take care of
them all the time.
I'm tired of hearing,
you're the role model.
You got to do this, and
you got to do that.
And you can't goof off.
The year I turned 13, I got
this basket from my Aunt Kay.
And it came in a little box.
And she gave it to me.
And she said, this is to hold
all your hopes and dreams.
And I wear my basket
pretty much every day
because it just reminds me how
important my family is to me
because my family's
always been there.
Like, friends come and go,
but your family is going
to be there no matter what.
My parents, I guess they
have influence on my life.
But I don't want to admit it
because they're my parents.
My mom and dad had
gotten a divorce
when I was in sixth grade.
And it was-- my dad had left us.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
First of all, we thought
it would be cool living
in two different houses
and, like, having, like,
getting more presents
at Christmas.
But as it, like, got further
away, it's really, like--
I asked myself, why
did this happen?
And you feel-- I felt
like some of it was my
fault. And I know it wasn't.
But it was, like, hard.
I mean, it's been three years.
But, like, I still don't--
can't believe that--
what my dad did.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHATTER]
I'd say, like, half my friends,
their parents are divorced.
And I don't know, it's
not a major thing
that we talk about a lot.
Like, if I say I'm going to
call somebody, you know,
then you almost always ask,
like, are you at your mom's
or your dad's?
My parents are divorced.
And I like to call it
a very clean divorce
because they still get
along and communicate fine.
My parents are both together.
But, I mean, I know
a friend where her--
she had-- her parents
had a divorce.
And she was, like,
really down and out.
And she would always,
like, go over her dad.
She didn't really care
too much for her mom
because her mom was kind
of careless of her.
So-- but, I mean, at
least her parents
kind of tried to get along
for the sake of her,
which was good.
It's a different style,
I guess, of living
with having, like, two
parents and two sides.
And-- but my parents
get along real well,
which is really nice because I
know my stepdad and his ex-wife
don't get along real well.
My dad got remarried--
I'm not sure how long ago.
I think it was,
like, six years ago.
And the lady, he was
going to marry it.
And me and my sister
got along very well
before they got married.
And once they got married,
we had our little fights
and everything.
But we get along
pretty well now.
It's still hard sometimes to
get used to new family members.
But it's getting easier.
I probably wouldn't want ever my
parents to get back together.
I used to think that.
But not anymore because I know
that it would probably never
work out.
My parents got divorced.
And my dad lives on the
other side of the world.
And I don't get to see him.
And my mom remarried.
And I have a new
little brother now.
And I really didn't like
my stepdad for a long time
because I felt like he
was trying to be my dad.
And I didn't want a new dad.
I wanted my old dad.
And now my mom wants to
get a divorce again.
Just when I'm starting
to adjust to your dad.
Just when I'm starting to
get close to my stepdad.
And I just want
them to get better.
Like my dad's going to be
getting remarried soon.
And I don't like his
fiance right now.
But I have to give her a chance.
I have not given her a chance.
And I realized just
last night actually,
I needed to give her a chance.
That's going to cause trouble.
Like video games are really bad.
And people say that it
doesn't affect them.
But if you think of the
fact that after you've
played the game so many
times, it's not fun.
It's not even scary anymore.
And so you've come
immune to the violence.
And that's what
people are doing is
they come immune to watching
this and knowing this.
And so they become
immune to doing it.
Right. And so
it's not-- the
horror of the whole concept
is not there anymore.
Violence is everywhere.
I mean, there are
certain times at school
when people get in a
fight or whatever.
But I'm never usually
part of that.
And in my community,
I see violence.
But it's not done to me.
So I don't do anything about it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I know two people that
have got shot before.
And they're my friends.
And it was around
their neighborhood.
Or either they were at a club
or a party or something.
And then shooting was occurred.
And they just
happened to get shot.
My friend, Lindsey Cross,
was murdered last year
around August.
It was right before
school started.
She was missing for three
days before they found her.
We weren't the best of friends.
But we were pretty close.
We had quite a few
classes together.
And we walked halls together.
And we went to a few
football games together.
And she hung out with me when
I first moved to the school.
I think my friends were the
ones that could really help me.
Because they knew what
I was going through.
They knew her.
And she was a
really good person.
Sometimes there's drunk
people driving by.
And there's old people.
You don't know who they are.
They just come up
asking you for money.
Sometimes I feel sorry for them.
So I give them money.
Last year, everybody
practically knew
what happened to my family.
When my stepdad stabbed my mom.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
She got it twice in the
arm and two in the chest.
Everything's right now is
scary for her and our family.
And because of all
this happening,
plus bad dreams and
bad memories of it.
When I was at the bus stop,
someone named Mike was there.
And he decided that he would
take me back to his house.
And when we got
there, he raped me.
When I walk down the street,
just in public or whatever,
it just feels like everyone
knows what happened.
And everyone else is like-- I
don't know, looks down on you.
The biggest thing
is that you just--
you got to be strong.
I mean, if you
don't say anything,
then you're just
letting them win.
You're just letting whoever
raped you just totally
take over.
I mean, sure, they might
have got what they wanted.
But you have to at
least see that they're
punished for it or whatever.
Because if you
don't say anything,
the next time they do
it to someone else,
it's going to be in
some way your fault.
And at school, it's like a lot
of girls and some guys, too.
They get into arguments
over stupid stuff.
And it's a lot of fighting and
talking back and all this stuff.
Do you guys experience very
much violence in schools?
Sometimes, not personally to
me, but around other people.
Not really big violence.
It's just a lot of hitting and
pushing and stuff like that.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
There's a lot of girls
who like to fight now.
In middle school
and in high school,
I've had experiences
with my friends fighting
other people, my friends.
And then when it did happen
to me, it taught me a lot.
Me being beat up taught
me a lot about myself,
knowing to think before I speak.
Because people
aren't always going
to care what I have to say.
Or like, you might
have a boyfriend
that really cared about you, but
you didn't like him that much
anymore. And
then they might
come after you because
you're talking
to another dude.
And they might beat up on
a dude or beat up on you.
And they might bring
something to school
because we don't have
metal detectors.
So anybody could
practically bring anything.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
You know, if we start teaching
our kids that there's
nothing to do with
equality, then our kids
are going to grow up to
think that there's only
men in this world.
And women are supposed
to be cleaning houses.
If we don't teach our
generation to have equality,
then how is the next generation
going to have equality?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
The reason why I'm scared
of coming to school
is because I just think that
if I do something wrong
to somebody and they're
popular or something,
and they're going to get the
whole school against me,
or they're going
to say bad things
and probably ruin my reputation.
I think people are really,
really cruel to other people.
Most people, anyway.
I think it's horrible that
they talk behind their back
and just are so
mean to everybody.
They didn't used to be.
I don't like gossip because
it just screws up things.
And you don't know what's
true and what's not.
It's just like playing
a telephone game.
It gets passed on and on.
And then things change.
And he said or she said, you
know, it's all messed up.
And you don't know
what to believe.
So I just never bother
listening to it.
There's a lot more
pressures now.
You have to worry about what
other people think about you.
And you know, just if you're
accepted by everyone, I guess.
Is there a lot of peer pressure,
like with drugs and smoking?
Yeah. Oh,
yeah.
Like a lot.
And illegal drugs.
Do you feel pressured into?
If I really wanted to,
I bet I could get on.
But I don't want to, so--
I have tried smoking.
I've never told
anybody that before.
But I've tried it.
And I don't like it
because I got sick.
What made you try it?
Well, it was peer pressure
from another friend.
And you stopped because
you just didn't like it?
Mm-hmm.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I do smoke.
And I know a lot
of people smoke.
But I have tried marijuana.
I have tried drinking.
And then nothing
else besides that.
But I just think it's ridiculous
because kids our age, 13, 14,
are already smoking.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
A group of my friends that I
hung out with at one point
did get into that.
And I felt very
uncomfortable with that.
And I ended up completely not
hanging out with them anymore
because I didn't want
to be around that.
I think because my dad smokes
and it is not something
that I like.
And it drives me crazy
because I hate the smell.
And I think it's disgusting.
And I have a history of
alcoholism in my family.
And that's something that I
want to take any chances on.
Are you pressured
into doing alcohol?
Drinking? Well, people
have offered me.
But mainly, I've done it by
choice if I have done it.
I think there's a lot
of peer pressure.
There's peer pressure to drink,
smoke, do drugs, just skip
class.
Sometimes it's peer pressure
and you don't even notice.
I think I have a lot of
pressures from sports.
I play three sports.
And at the same time,
I'm getting pressures
from my coaches to do better.
Do you ever feel peer
pressure at school?
No.
And I have tried drinking.
I have tried marijuana.
I have never tried
heroin or coke
because I don't like needles.
I met a friend last
year in seventh grade.
And I smoked pot and
I drank because I
thought that I'd be
accepted by older people.
And people would
think I was cool.
And it was just all fake.
And I stopped.
And now I have more friends and
a lot more self-confidence.
I'm not going to make
it a habit of mine
to go and smoke weed or
something like that.
I just want to try it and
just see what it's like.
I know some of the preppiest
people in the world who
get drunk every Friday night.
And then some of
maybe the people
who aren't so respected who
don't do any of that stuff.
So basically, it's a
wide range of people
who do drugs and alcohol.
I'm alcohol free, sex free,
drug free, and smoke free.
I used to go with my
sister to a friend's house
even though I knew
they were going
to do that kind of stuff there.
And they were toking
it up and shit.
Stuff. They
were toking it.
And they asked me
if I wanted some.
And I said yes, because I did.
But then I just should
avoid them situations.
And I'm going to stop.
Well, see, I was at a party.
And I had stuff to drink.
And obviously, I'm underage.
And they videotaped me, which
was kind of the best thing
that they could have done.
Because I looked so dumb.
And the next morning when I
didn't have the alcohol really
in my system, I watched it.
And I was so embarrassed
at what I did.
I could not imagine me looking.
I looked like a fool.
I really did.
And so I really can't see
myself drinking again.
And it's really nasty.
I made a list of good
things and bad things.
And I couldn't come up with any
good things except for the fact
that you don't care.
When you're high,
you don't care.
And there's things that you
don't want to care about.
And there's things that you
don't want to care about.
Don't want to care about.
You don't feel like
anybody likes you.
And you're not worthy.
I'm really insecure.
She was struggling
with bleeding.
And when we got
there, he raped me.
There's really no
one I can talk to.
Well, I've been
sexually harassed.
I was really good at my grades.
I had really high grades
when I was younger.
And then as I got
into middle school,
I started going low in grades.
Because I started getting lazy.
And I stopped doing my homework.
Now I feel that I
have no future.
I look at people
differently now.
And I feel things differently.
I don't know really
how to explain it.
I just look at the
world differently
than I did when I was little.
I realize that it's
not so perfect
as I used to think it was.
Do adults generally
value your opinion?
No, I don't think they do.
No, because they still
think we're kids
and that we don't have
opinions or feelings.
Most of them do listen.
But some of them
just don't care.
They act like they're listening.
But they're just not.
No, they pretty much tell
me exactly what to do
and when to do it.
And could care less about
what I think usually.
And there's things that you
don't want to care about.
Don't want to care about.
I don't know if
anybody knows, but I
was diagnosed with clinical
depression a year and a half
ago. And I'm on
medicine and stuff.
So everything's better.
But it's still there.
So what do you
think caused that?
It's mostly my family.
And I don't know.
My family's all screwed up.
I don't like my family.
Well, I do.
I love my family.
But I don't like my situation.
I get depressed if
you get bad grades
or people aren't
treating you nice,
that you think are your friends.
All of a sudden, you think
they're your friend.
And then they turn
their back on you.
And then it's like you lost
everybody you counted on.
Then how do you
release feelings?
I, believe it or not, I talk
to myself when I'm alone.
That's how I figure out stuff.
Like if I'm doing a
big project, that's
how I figure out a lot of stuff.
Punch a bag or scream, jump
rope, something like that.
Something to just get
all my energy out.
Talk to our pets.
Yeah, I talk to my pets.
I have been depressed.
I've been so depressed.
So why?
I tried to kill
myself three times.
I've never tried to kill myself.
The spiders kind of
blocking two of my scars.
But--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I was physically abused once.
When? I was
littler.
My mom had a friend
that stayed with us.
And she physically and verbally
abused me and my little brother.
My friends who were
sexually abused
have a very hard time
dealing with that.
They really don't
know who they are.
And most of them are
depressed and kind
of looking for a way out.
And I know some of them who are
even suicidal because of it.
I don't think I've
ever been depressed.
I've been stressed to the
limit, I guess you could say,
where you just don't know which
direction to turn, up, down,
left, right, whatever.
And you just kind of
break down and cry.
And then you get your
stuff together and go on.
All she talks to me about is how
she wants to commit suicide.
Because she said
that in this world,
nobody seems to care about her.
But I do.
It hurts to know that
someone you care
is trying to commit suicide.
The hardest decisions
I have to make
is whether I want to
stay alive or if I just
want to commit suicide
or not be here anymore.
Right now, I don't think
I have that many problems
where I could go commit suicide.
But I guess you never know.
Something might happen where
you feel you couldn't go on.
But I think I can get help.
I think that there are
people that you can really
talk to, like mentors
or friends or anybody.
If you feel depressed
or anything,
you can go talk to them
about just about anything.
I would never want
to think of suicide.
Because all good
things can happen
if you make them happen.
Hi.
Gina.
I want to get a degree.
And I want to get a good job.
I want to be on TV
when I grow up.
You need good grades
to get into college.
I want to be a pediatrician.
Either I want to be a doctor
or go into marketing.
Getting a grade means you can go
to good school, good college.
I want to become an interpreter.
I want to be a meteorologist.
I feel getting good grades
is really important.
I would, of course,
love to go to college.
I would like to be
a social worker.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I believe that in
order to not fall
into the traps of some of the
difficulties in growing up,
I think you have to
be true to yourself
and know where you're headed.
I'm my own self, so there's no
one who would bring me down
or put me down in any kind of
way because I won't let them.
Well, a lot of the stuff
that people want to change,
you can't do anything about.
And you have to learn to just
accept things how they are
and move on.
I don't think that it's all
that hard to be a teenage girl.
There's lots of
things happening.
But you just kind of
learn to deal with it.
Don't let people discourage
you in what your dreams are.
That's a real big thing.
People put you down for
what you believe in
and what you want to do.
Maybe I'm young and
maybe I'm a girl,
but I can do anything
I want to do.
Right now, we're
probably in a cocoon now
because we're closing
off certain things.
We have to learn that.
Hide some of who we are.
We're learning new things,
so we're taking it all in.
So when we get older, we
go to head out for college
or whatever.
I don't feel like
I'm in this fit.
And I feel like now I
can be who I want to be.
And people know
me for me instead
of how they expect me to be.
Yeah, it's kind of
weird because we're
the opposite of butterflies.
They start out as the worm
and go into the cocoon
and then become
something better.
And we're like--
they become freer.
And we're freer
when we're little.
And then probably more closed
off when we get older.
Well, I still have the desire
to always want to have fun.
It's always going to be there.
But I think I'm doing a good
job of finding other ways
to have fun rather than
drinking and doing drugs.
You're the butterfly.
And you're more than a butterfly
because you're on your own.
You know a little bit
more than what you did
when you were a little baby.
And your moms are there, but
they're not as much there
as you were whenever
you were younger.
So you're beyond more
than a butterfly.
[LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[THEME MUSIC]
(upbeat music)