Some of you do not deserve to be here.
Some of you were born betrothed to this school,
whether because of your last name,
or a sizeable bank account or a stroke of blind luck.
Some of you are destined to graduate with a diploma
from one of the most prestigious secondary schools in the country
all without even attempting to measure
up to the legacy of the boys and girls who came before you.
(BROWN) Allan.
(ARCHER) Sorry.
I was finishing an article.
Morning meeting starts
At 7:30 sharp. I know. Sorry.
Take a seat.
What'd I miss?
Carroll's laying it down.
What happened?
(Students in the back) Same old, same old.
Do you two just play into the whole creepy twin thing
or does it come naturally?
Yesterday afternoon, one of my seniors punched another student
because he compared his haircut to Oscar Wilde.
Hands up if we think this is an appropriate response.
(male student) Oscar Wilde's a homo!
(crowd laughing)
Oscar Wilde is a literary genius!
Now sit down!
Sit down!
(students settle down)
To my knowledge, this is the fourth physical altercation
of the semester, and it's only November.
Alfred Pierce Preparatory School is a sanctuary for academia-
not a battlefield for barbarous displays of masculinity.
If I wanted to be surrounded by pubescent boys
desperately trying to prove their heterosexuality,
I would be teaching in a public school.
(cell phone vibrating)
Claire, what the hell is this?
Live tweeting the meeting, Allan.
No, this is garbage.
Well, it's already been retweeted 23 times.
That's more papers than we've sold all month.
Because of a consistent lack of behavioral discretion,
I have no choice but to cancel the Christmas dance.
(shouts of protest)
Perhaps, perhaps if you learn to control yourselves,
the Spring Formal will go on as scheduled.
Quiet down!
(students settle down)
Let this be a lesson to you there is nothing more
infantile than using physical force to make a statement.
(paintball gun goes off)
Ah! Ah! Ah!
(indistinct crowd noise)
*
(Brown) Allan!
(indistinct crowd noise)
*
(Clair) If you have a problem with me,
Allan, just say it.
(ARCHER) I have a problem with
your methods, Claire.
(Clair) Well, my methods
are keeping this paper afloat.
Okay, everyone, let's settle.
How are we dealing with this morning?
(Claire) Already been dealt with.
56 new followers, 62 new likes,
and an article on Community Buzzfeed.
(Archer) I didn't approve this.
You're a junior editor, Allan.
Social media is not in your job description.
It's common courtesy, Claire.
We didn't even have a conversation.
Conversing with you is like dancing with a quadriplegic.
(Tim) Okay, enough.
(Archer) Tim, you can't be okay
with this.
It's what the kids want, Archer.
No, it's what they think they want.
Well, true or not, until they come to their senses,
it's our job to cater to the masses.
And right now, they're asking for---
Yellow journalism.
They're asking for fun.
Tim, we are feeding them expired baby food.
Let's up the ante and give them something gourmet.
Christ, Allan, how long have you been sitting on that analogy.
I thought it was pretty good.
Agreed.
(both slurping)
(Clair) Tim, am I in the wrong here?
No, you're not.
You've got to be kidding me
Archer--
We should be finding the guy who did it.
That's presumptuous.
Excuse me?
You said "guy". Girls know how to use guns, too.
(Kate) Valid point.
Yeah, valid point.
It's a colloquialism, Claire.
Wow, Dex. That's a six syllable word.
Okay, Archer, so what?
If it were up to you, we'd find the guy who did it and write
some sort of scathing expos� about the sick individual
who would take down a 70 year old man with a paintball gun?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Bad idea.
Bad idea?
(in unison) Bad idea.
(both slurping)
Archer, the Pierce Gazette has three main sources of funding.
The first is the Student Government Association.
They receive application from every
club and organization on campus.
But they only care about one thing. You know what that is?
(CLAIRE) Popularity.
What?
Bingo.
While the SGA has a sizeable endowment,
they'll only grant funds to clubs who will increase or
at the very least, maintain their cool factor.
Case in point?
The chess team.
Club leadership has pitched their cause to the SGA
every single semester since 1981 and never once got sponsored.
You know why?
Because new chessboards and game clocks and strategy guides-
they're not sexy.
But this year the new club president-transfer student
from Europe-tried a new tactic and pitched
a live-action midnight chess match on the quad.
Right, but that wasn't about chess.
It was a glorified black and white party.
Exactly.
The team's popularity skyrocketed.
In just one night, they exposed themselves
to virtually every student on campus.
Figuratively speaking.
(girls scream)
Mostly.
Okay, so what? They threw a party.
Yeah, and you know what happened next?
They got their money.
(Archer) Okay, so teenagers are
vacuous and shallow, even the ones in the SGA.
That's, that's not news.
What about alumni?
Ok, ah, yeah, direct alumni donations
are a secondary source of funds.
Typically these individuals donate to an organization
that was special to them when they were students here.
Problem is, most former reporters for the Gazette,
they don't make enough money to donate.
And those who do are pledging to their colleges,
not Alfred Pierce.
Our only option here is to tap into
some of their sports dollars.
Lucky for us, while most former athletes pledge to their
respective teams,
some of them are interested in good press coverage.
So that's why the polo club's always front page news.
You've got it, Dex.
Our generous benefactor from the polo club has been bankrolling
our printing paper for the last three years.
(slurping)
Soda, too.
Okay, so if outside funds are so hard to come by,
just raise the price of the paper.
Archer, direct sales account for less than one percent
of what we have in the bank.
What?
People don't want to pay for the news.
Especially when they have a dozen different
apps at their fingertips.
Tim, all that stuff is just clickbait.
It probably didn't even go through a fact checker before
some intern clicked "post".
People who write for newspapers-
real newspapers-understand
that a story is more than just a byline.
Well, unfortunately, Archer,
that's something that the consumer does not understand.
So let's teach them.
I wish we could. But we don't have the money.
Tim, I'm telling you, this Carroll story will sell.
It is investigative journalism at its finest.
Go on TeacherScore, Allan.
He's the most hated man on campus.
I don't believe that.
Just because you like him doesn't mean anybody else does.
So you're saying--
Well, I'm saying that there's a Jurassic theme dorm party
tonight celebrating the person who poached the dinosaur.
(DEX) Yikes.
So when do we get to start telling real stories again?
Audience tastes are inherently unpredictable, Archer.
You know that.
We've either got to wait for rich alumnus to come out of the
woodwork or we hold out for the time when recreational thinking
becomes cool again.
And until then?
Someone just shared the post on Reddit.
(ANITA) The Trustees are going to want
to keep this very quiet.
And with good reason. What happened this morning--
(ALBERT) In no way reflects the values,
traditions, or accepted behaviors
of Alfred Pierce Preparatory School.
We know the deal, Anita.
Is anyone else the least bit concerned
with who did this to Peter?
That's beside the point, Margaret.
Whichever one of these brats turned Carroll into a piece of
Jackson Pollack performance art
is going to get found out soon enough.
Believe me, I'm on it.
Then I don't understand the Trustees' concern here.
The poor man was humiliated!
Peter Carroll made a spectacle
of himself in front of the entire student body.
The situation could have been easily diffused
had he gracefully excused himself.
Instead, he flopped around on that
stage like a fish out of water,
and morning meeting became the zombie apocalypse.
(SHIRLEY) For God's sakes, Anita,
the man is 80 years old.
Paintballs hurt!
I get that.
And I'm empathetic!
Really I am. But--
(telephone rings)
that'll be Brad.
Good afternoon, Brad, Anita Sanchez here.
You're on with the Communications staff.
(Brad's voice) Afternoon, everyone.
(Everyone) Good afternoon.
(Brad) I appreciate you
all working so quickly to
come up with a solution.
I've got a plane to catch, but
I'd like to offer my two cents before I head out.
(ANITA) We'd be happy to hear
your thoughts, Brad.
(BRAD) Speaking from the perspective
of the Trustees,
we're in a pretty precarious spot here.
Open House for prospective students
is only a couple of days away.
Focus should be on our new engineering lab
and foreign exchange program.
But as it stands now, all anyone can talk about
is this Carroll thing.
I absolutely agree with Brad.
This thing is all over the Tweetster.
(ANITA) It's Twitter, Bill.
(BRAD) Look, it's a really
unfortunate situation. I like the man.
He taught me when I was a student here.
But my son texted me this morning and said this thing
has already been shared hundreds of times on social media.
(WALTER) And it's not just Pierce.
My brother works for Fairfax.
They knew about this whole thing seconds after it happened.
And I doubt that is where the ripple effect will end.
(computer ping)
(ALBERT) Oh God
(ANITA) What?
The Gazette just sent their weekly newsletter
to the alumni email list.
Guess who's plastered all over the home page?
Someone tell them to shut this down now.
It's already out though, Anita.
The damage is done.
(BRAD) Alright, everyone.
There's no perfect answer here.
But ask yourselves this-
who do we want to be the mascot for our school?
Mighty Mouse or Peter Carroll?
I'll leave it with you, Anita.
They're boarding now.
Let me know what comes of it.
(phone hangs up)
Ideas?
(door opens)
(ARCHER) Alright, let's move.
(Lewis) Wait, Kate, don't cl---
Can somebody find a light switch, please?
(Archer) Whose breath is on my neck?
(LEWIS) Mine.
That's terrifying.
Okay, let me just find it myself.
Okay.
It's not.I think.It's right.here.
(light switch clicks)
Thank God.
Lewis, how did you get up there so fast?
(LEWIS) Long legs.
(Archer) It was pitch black.
I have night vision.
(KATE) Yeah. It's genetic
Okay, we don't have a lot of time.
If something's in here,
the culprit's going to be looking for it, too,
so we have to find it fast.
What about this?
What is that?
An old cell phone?
(Kate) I don't know.
(pushing random buttons)
Kate, stop playing with it, okay?
Just put it away.
We'll look at it back in the office.
Okay, we're going to go through this morning.
Lewis, you be Dr. Carroll.
(LEWIS) Some of you do not deserve
to be here.
Some of you were born betrothed to the school.
Whether because of your last name or a sizeable bank account
or a struck of blind luck.
(Archer) Lewis?
(Lewis) Yeah?
(Archer) How do you know
that entire speech?
(Lewis) Audiographic memory.
(Archer) Is that even a word?
Words aren't words until someone makes them words.
(Lewis) That was beautiful, Kate.
Thanks Lewis.
Dex just had to have Bio this period.
(Lewis) Shall I continue?
(Archer) Yeah, sure, why not.
Okay, so I walk in here.
Sorry, I was finishing an article.
Take a seat.
Walk to my chair.
Brown takes me off the absentee list.
I turn to--
Kate, can you give me copy--
(Kate) Already on it.
This the one from this morning?
(Kate) Sure is.
Alright. I think this is the key, guys.
(LEWIS) Oh! Oh! No! You animals!
Beasts! Ah!
(Archer) Lewis, shut up!
What is he doing?
I think it's part of the reenactment.
(breaths in heavily)
(Archer) He's not dead Lewis.
Sorry that's all I remember.
Lewis! Get behind the podium!
Kate, come on!
(object falls onto floor)
(footsteps approaching)
(footsteps running away)
Seriously?
Hey, Lewis, you want to use some of that night vision
to find us another light switch?
(light switch clicks on)
Always one step ahead of you, Archer.
Damn! That was our guy.
He was clearly looking for something.
Could've been maintenance.
No, Kate, he ran out of here.
People only run if they don't want to get caught.
People run for exercise, too.
You know what I mean, Lewis.
(school bell rings)
Crap.
Um, take this back to the newspaper office,
that little clicker thing, too. Alright?
Aye aye, captain.
Don't call me that.
Sure thing, boss man.
That either.
What would you prefer?
Just go.
Uh oh.
Uh oh? What do you mean uh oh?
I don't want to hear uh oh. What uh oh?
I lost it.
(Archer) Lost what?
That little clicker thing.
Must've fallen when I was running around up there.
(school bell rings again)
That's second bell.
I really have to go.
Just leave it.
We'll come back for it later, okay?
We can stay.
Yeah, we'll keep looking.
Don't you have class?
[fake coughs] I'm sick.
[fake coughs] Me too.
I'll see you back at the office.
(STUDENT) Yo, Mr. Brown, is that the gun?
Sure is.
Can I touch it?
Sure can't.
(typing on keyboard)
(knock at the door)
Crazy day, huh, Judy.
You can say that again.
Crazy day, huh, Judy.
Smartass.
Is Head around?
In a meeting.
So what am I supposed to do with this?
Take out some of the drama club for all I care.
Macbeth was four hours.
(scoffs) Any leads?
(Judy) On what? Who pulled the trigger?
You can start with that.
(Judy) Nope, we got nothing.
But if you ask me I-well, you're not asking me.
What if I was?
*
I think Carroll did it to himself.
Paid a hired gun to take him out in front of the whole school.
How do you figure?
Well, he's the oldest teacher on staff
and the head disciplinarian.
So?
So have you been on TeacherScore recently?
Yeah, I read it every morning with the Times.
That's your second smartass strike of the day.
So why off himself?
Easy. Sympathy.
Sympathy?
Even crotchety old men want to be liked.
Where do you want this?
Oh, just give it to me.
I'll keep it back here until Head gets back.
(pop!)
Ah! Oh my God!
Are you alright?
What the hell did you do that for?
Wasn't me.
Don't toy with me Brown.
Take a breath, Judy.
*
It was fired remotely.
*
Tim.
Claire.
Do you have a second?
I have several. What's up?
Our servers crashed an hour ago.
What servers?
For the website.
It couldn't handle the influx of traffic.
We're getting that many hits?
Analytics aren't in yet, but.it's a lot, Tim.
That's great. For the numbers, I mean.
What are we doing about the website?
Tech support's working on it now.
We'll back online before curfew.
Good.
Listen, Tim.
It got me thinking. We can't risk this happening again.
There's too much at stake.
What are you getting at?
I think we need to invest in expanding our bandwidth.
That's expensive, Claire.
You remember my little spiel from this afternoon?
Yea, of course I do.
But here's the thing. We don't need more money for this.
We just need to be creative about
how we organize existing funds.
How do you suggest we do that?
Discontinue the print edition of the paper.
Claire--
Just hear me out.
There's no way we can do that.
Sure there is.
You just stop buying the ink and quit turning the printer on.
We're a newspaper, Claire.
You can't just go out of print.
How many people actually read this paper, Tim?
You said it yourself.
Direct sales account for what?
One percent of what we have in the bank?
Less.
Exactly.
This is the solution.
The printing press is just a vacuum
for funds that would be better spent elsewhere.
(Librarian) Shhh!
Whatever.
Look, Tim we're not the first place to do this, okay.
I've done some research.
Every school on this list has discontinued their print edition
in favor of an electronic paper.
Briarwood. Fairfax. Chesterfield.
Are you on a mission to give Allan Archer an aneurysm?
That's not what this is about, Tim.
Okay, believe it or not,
I care about this paper just as much as Allan does.
He and I just see things a little differently.
Well, have you called any of these schools?
Asked them how the switch has affected their readership?
I haven't gotten that far in my research yet.
This is just a preliminary list.
Look, Claire.
The newspaper is a tradition.
Okay, it's been here ever since Pierce was founded.
Now we may have fallen into relative obscurity
over the years, but that doesn't change the fact that there's a
community of alumni out there expecting to receive this thing
in their mailbox every week.
Tim, I'm not trying to sound cynical here.
But most of those people probably just forgot
to take their names off the subscription list
after they graduated.
I bet they just throw the thing in the recycling
before they even read a single headline.
Yeah, that sounded cynical, Claire.
Yeah, well it's true.
Claire, listen to me for a second.
You're an underclassman.
You haven't been to these alumni events yet.
I have. People love what we do. It means something to them.
Yeah, but they don't donate.
If they love this paper so much,
why can't they throw a little cash our way?
Just because someone isn't pledging,
it doesn't mean that the Gazette doesn't mean anything to them.
Take George Epstein.
Every time he sees me he shakes my hand and then he thanks me
for keeping him connected to the school.
The man's nearing his 300th birthday.
I highly doubt he even has internet access.
Well, I bet he has a checkbook.
I've tried, Claire.
You win some, but you lose more.
A lot more.
Yes, our numbers are dwindling and our funds are low.
But we have enough to get us through the rest of the year.
I'm not going to bastardize our identify.
Just tell me you'll consider it.
No can do, Claire.
Just keep telling the stories you want to tell.
Trust your gut, build the audience.
But we go to the printers on Thursday night.
Just like we always do.
Tim--
I'll talk to someone about tapping into the bandwidth
for Pierce's main website.
But realistically, Claire, the only reason
we got that much traffic was because of the Carroll thing.
I mean how often is something like that going to happen?
(staples papers)
*
(Girl) Oh my God.
Please tell me you monetized this.
(Boy) Look at his face.
(Girl 2) It looks like his wrinkles are
gonna fall off.
Oh my God! Oh!
(laughing)
*
(Carroll) No. No! I'm fine.
It was just a fall.
My mind works fine.
Yes. Yes.
I understand it's not about my injury.
Listen. No, listen to me.
I can take anything the kids can throw my way.
You know that.
I can. What? W--, well just sleep on that.
Look, I've been here 47 years.
The least you can do is sleep on it.
Hello? Hello?
(slams phone down)
Damn it!
Mr. Archer.
Dr. Carroll. I-I'm sorry. I was--
No matter.
No. What brings you to the English building
at this time of night?
Ah. I might have known.
Always the first one on my desk.
Early is on time.
I taught you that.
First day of freshman year.
(sighs) There's something you should know.
Mr. Brown will be taking over my courses for the
remainder of the semester and possibly into the new year.
What?
I know it might come as a surprise to you.
Are you alright?
I'm fine.
Then why--
There are reasons, Allan.
Suffice it to say that you should see to it that Mr. Brown
gets a copy of that paper.
Where are you going?
Away.
Not far.
But-not here.
I wonder though.
Would you mind terribly if I took this paper?
Your work has always spoken to me and I would welcome your
perspective on Dostoyevsky during my travels.
Of course.
Thank you. Ah. Oh.
You'll have to make another print.
So here, this should cover it.
Oh, Dr. Carroll, I- I--
Just take the dollar, Allan.
Well, ah, I have a train to catch.
You're leaving tonight?
I pull out of the station in 32 minutes.
Are you sure there's nothing that--
Nothing more I can say.
But keep your eyes open, Mr. Archer.
There's always more to the story.
(door opens)
*
So we had to emulate
an 80 year old actor
getting shot by a paintball gun.
So obviously we didn't want to
shoot the actor.
And so Jackie came up with an idea
of using small round paint soaked sponges.
So then it was just coming up with the idea
of how to get those to hit him.
For more behind the scene insight
to the making of the Cobblestone Corridor,
visit cobblestonecorridor.org