- Charlie Berens: Hey, there, Wisconsin classes of 2020!
Boy, howdy, who saw this coming, huh?
Now, if you're out there going, "Uh, I did,"
well, one of two things is correct.
Either one: You're lying,
or two: you got a time machine.
And if it's the latter,
I'd like to talk to you after this speech
'cause we've got to go back to 2011
and put a bet on the Packers, okay?
You fly, I'll buy. All right?
Anywho, back to the speech.
Look, your senior year ended early
'cause of the gosh darn COVID,
ya know?
And that's tough!
But that's okay 'cause we're Wisconsin.
All right?
We know a thing or three about toughness.
I mean, how many of yous
walked to school in February?
Actually, forget walking to school.
How many of yous walked outside in February?
That's tough.
How many of yous can spell Oconomowoc
on your first try?
Tough!
How many of yous have
cut the grass and shoveled the walk
on the very same day?
Toughness.
But then, along came the gosh darn COVID!
And, you know what, Wisconsin Classes of 2020?
It made ya even tougher!
You know, tougher than...
tougher than my venison jerky.
[record player slows abruptly] - Deer: What now?!?
- 'Cause just like my venison jerky...
you, too, are well marinated.
For four years,
you've been soaking in knowledge
like it's Worcestershire sauce,
absorbing the memories,
blending friendships
like flavors that'll last a lifetime.
[record player suddenly slows]
But then came [slaps knees] the gosh darn COVID
and just like my jerky,
you were plucked from your marinade
the way a raccoon plucks a carp
from the shallows of Lake Winnebago.
[music resumes] And you were ruthlessly left out
to dry-- dehydrate, if you will.
You've missed out on proms and sports seasons,
ceremonies and celebrations.
But, you know what? It's made you tough.
And it's that combination of flavor and toughness
that's made you a healthy and delicious snack.
Now, I know these words
can't possibly make up for what you've lost.
But just remember this,
"Life is like a tackle box.
"Don't mourn the lures you lost yesterday,
"And don't worry about the lures you'll lose tomorrow.
Enjoy the lures you have today."
Class of 2020,
Keep 'er Movin'!